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My Marriage Is Crashing, I Think I Hate Him...Help / My 2 Months Old Marriage Is Crashing - HELP ME / How Virginity Almost Destroyed My Marriage - Thanks To Nlanders (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by joshjosh(m): 11:30pm On Jan 22, 2008 |
goodnight kind lady. God bless and dont forget my 1% when your money comes |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by Dreloaded(f): 1:46am On Jan 23, 2008 |
joshjosh: No offence but you are speaking like you're naive Not all "mothers" can be treated with "sweet talking" |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by joshjosh(m): 3:55am On Jan 23, 2008 |
i do not mind being naive. i was blessed with an extra-ordinary mother that will do anything to bless and increase the children God blessed her with. we didn't have much growing up. we had love and the best care she could give. people richer than us sent their kids to live with others not us even if we were cramed into one room. thank God life has changed today but heaven forbid i forget the home that gave me the spring board the to life i enjoy today. i grew up around women that wanted the best for their kids even if that means them opposing their choice of women. there is nothing wrong with that. most men i know today would have been happier if they listened to their mum warning them about the nightmares they choose for themselves. they say love is blind but marraige is an eye opener. come to think of it how many people know what is good for them when marraige is concerned? if everybody's choice was right why do we have all these broken people and broken kids all over the world from broken relatioships? i am not a spokes person for mothers every where. i do know most are not evil. infact their maternal disposition works against anything that hurts their own child. i am all for people choosing to live with whoever you want. but i also know too that the right to bear my family name comes with the responsibility of not allowing any jezebels daughter into the family blood line in the name of personal choice. uneducated illeterates have kept the family name pure and good before me. i owe a duty to the next generation to up their game. hope that does not upset you. it is called duty it is a very good word. this small world of I,Me and myself is ugly dont you think? it is no crime anywhere in the world to advice your own child. |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by Dreloaded(f): 4:59am On Jan 23, 2008 |
It is a crime if it's against the happiness of your own child. and since when is it cool to torture another person (daughter or son-in law) just because YOU dont believe your child should be with that person? You say these mothers are "helping", when a mother comes into the home and accuses the wife of being a witch for not having children, that's what you consider to be a "mother's love"?? |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by joshjosh(m): 9:50am On Jan 23, 2008 |
calm down. this is not everyday thing. there are millions of people happily married with good relationship with their ma and pa inlaws. people don't just wake up catching witches. things happens in relationships. there must be some thousands of ugly daughter inlaws calling their ma inlaw witches it doesn't equal every daughter in-law. it is my observation that most mothers love their kids more than any other person in the world would love that child. boyfriend and girlfriend husband/ wife included. it so comfortable to want your partners to go to war with their parents because they don't accept you. The Law of Attraction begins and ends with gratitude. i can't understand how some people claim you love somebody and hate the people that gave birth to them. have you heard the word " love me- love my dog"?. becareful the bridge you tear down because you may need to walk through it one day. why do you major on minors? you may have a bad ma-inlaw. every mother is not like that and make sure you don't become one. most bad mother inlaws start by opposing everything in sight which you are trying to do here. one moment it is all men not standing up next it is mother in-laws. seun created an open forum so we are allowed to villify everyone we wish. there is a situation on the ground here that is bigger than your opinions on a whole group of people so i am going to leave you as i deal with more pressing issues. thanks for your time and have a very good day ma'am. this is my last post here |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by shapey(f): 10:51am On Jan 23, 2008 |
joshjosh goodmorning to you.how can this be your last post i'll take that as a joke anyway. thankyou everyone,there's alot to learn on nairaland.okay,my husband was here last night,and we talked for long hours-into the night.it was a very emotional one for me. right now i think i'm falling ill-stress and all that. we talked about everything that went on from the day we got the message to date.i have never seen my husband that way.he looked like the whole world was on him.he said he was sorry and that he had learnt his lesson.he felt he could handle the situation without anyone being hurt,but that blew up in his face.we managed a very close and warm hug.he seemed to understand that just needed a little more time. about 20mins after he left for work,someone buzzed, it was his sister.my cousin refused to open the door.she said she wanted the key to our house so she could move her things out.she said''pls tell that slot to get me the key to my brother's house'' apparently she came on the night flight cos i could see her stuff down there. my cousin called my husband and asked him to come and uproot his sister from her steps or she was going to call the police.i just sat there crying.how can this girl follow me after all the trauma she had caused me.at this point,my cousin's hubby got bk from taking the little boy to school and met her standing there.he asked her to get out.she said ''this is none of your business.you just get that bastard my brother married out here to give me the keys to the house''.amsky was talking to her husband through the buzzer to come in. she stood there for a while and left.that is where i am now.no peace whatsoever.i'm trying to take it in my stride.despite all these,i still love my husband so much.his sister is just determined to frustrate me out of my home.i dont get why she should call me such names.there is one thing that makes me happy, she'll eat of the dish she's serving me in some time soon.she's 26,and will marry in the near future.then she'll be sorry. |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by joshjosh(m): 11:13am On Jan 23, 2008 |
God bless you dear sister. good to know you guys are talking. just relax. it is not time to answer her. you will know when that time comes. not just now. my sister says your heart and mouth are your personal properties. she is permitted to call you names just as you are permitted to not answer the names she call you. you are precious in your husband eyes. any other person talking rubish is just that RUBISH and non sence as my granny calls it. you are in our prayers and know you are both going to pull through this one. the God of heaven will see to it that you come out not hurt.do not let it. choose not to be a victim. there shall be no loss here have a good day and thanks for coming to tell the house but please don't forget to tell Jesus always. He is right there with you. that song says there is no mountain that we cannot climb. when i say we, i mean Jesus and i. there is no mountain that you cannot climb. there is a calm after every storm. let the healing flow to you dear sister Jesus is Lord over this matter. all sin is forgiven and forgivable. relax and enjoy a good relationship. if you ever have time to read i would gladly recommend garry smalley's the joy of a committed relationship/love. it will bless you Abrahams blessings be on you. Genesis 49:25 -26 |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by amsky(m): 11:21am On Jan 23, 2008 |
joshjosh pls dont go.why are you going?dont you want your 1%anymore shapey,you forgot some thing o.she said you and your husband should come and pay her the 8k pounds you owe her,find and pay mortgage on a 2 bed flat for her and give her cash for distabilizing her.how can you forget that silly bit.imagine!!!!!!!who dash her £8k? when she is the one owing me £850.that girl is a devil in disguise.did you see her eyes this morning?like someone who is poised to destroy.i was even scared for my husband that was standing out there with her.her brother should do something fast. pls my good people of nairaland,i've told shapey to go home with her husband and she said she's still thinking of it.this guy has exams in3wks and he needs her support.he is clearly in a dilemma now.he's still in pain for losing his mom,in greater pain for almost loosing his wife,and the greatest pain that his family is trying to tear him apart.shapey pls.if there is anytime he needs you,it's now.he told me he wonders how he'll be able to prepare for his exams in his present state.he has always dreamt of being a surgeon,pls dont let him down now.i'm saying this here so that you'll all help me appeal to her.we all learn from experiences.i can bet my little finger that this will never happen again.just try and move on.he told you never to leave him,you are the center of his life!!!!!!!! if na me dem tell that one i will just faint.pls my dear sister,pls go back home to him. oya joshjosh,reloaded,sexxy,kogilomo, richyblack et al make una put mouth.my own don dey pain me.make i work b4 dem sack me. |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by RichyBlacK(m): 12:03pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
@amsky, I agree with you; shapey needs to put her own mom outside of the relationship and move in with her husband ASAP. The guy needs her support and she'll only be executing an emotional tit-for-tat if she doesn't give him the support he denied her earlier. In my sincere opinion, I think shapey has lost her own independence to her mom, and this will surely create more problems henceforth. This marriage needs a miracle to get back to normal, and that miracle must either be performed on shapey or performed by her. God bless. |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by Nobody: 12:06pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
Shapey, am so happy you and your husband have found a way of sttling it at least to some extent. No body should have the power to fustrate you, people can say what they want about you, you should not give her the benefit of making you fustrated. The worst is over, work towards restoring peace and love to your home. Wish you the best. |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by twinstaiye(m): 12:34pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
Happy this matter has reached a joyous ending. May God continue to bless your union. It was indeed an experience people should learn from. For those who could not flip over the internet pages for Shapey's narration to date, please see the summary of her post hereunder. I just printed it for keep. please guys i'm slowly dying.i came home some days back with my husband and there was a message on the answering machine.it was his cousin who stays with his mother in nigeria.the guy said' momi dey sick.im neck don turn 360 degrees and dr say na severe stroke i get.'i laughed.that was the biggest sin i have ever commited in my life.please don't get me wrong.i did not laugh because the woman was ill-no.it was the way he said the 360 thing-i just imagined someone's neck turning all the way round,and i chuckled.i did not even laugh so loud. |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by SweetT1: 12:50pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
@Shapey Take things easy sweetie, no need to cry anymore. Concentrate on your husband and re-newing your love for each other. Better days are ahead and you will look back and smile in content. Your only revenge to your sister in-law is "KARMA". Like the Americans say "YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE" . And sometimes you get double dose of it. You sister in-law is headed for self destructions unless she finds a way to apolgise and change her way.How can a woman be like that at 26, i thought she was 15. Please, quit crying and concentrate on rebuilding your home. It is well with you. |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by joshjosh(m): 1:00pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
shapey my dear you know we are all in this together. me i am waiting for your baby shower and dedication. when we shall sing what the Lord has done for me i cannot tell it all. we all have stories of situations we feared the worse and allowed God to pull us through. whatever you fear now is not as bad as it looks. we are talking about your best freind here you know. i think in one of your earlier post you expected to be forgiven quicker than he did. now this is your turn to show this brother how to forgive. you know you will still need his forgiveness in the future so show him how to do it we did a project at work. we had to sit down carrying boxes on our lap and allowed people throw various objects like silly names, racism, cheating and all form of disgusting names. suddenly an empty box became full of junks and loads. when it was time for compliments and good things there was no space left to keep them. we were also told to embrace any person we loved in the enviroment carrying that box you need to see how funny adults looked. this was at work. i was nearly looking for the offering plate because that lady preached something to me that day. hatred and carrying bitterness is a load that pushes those we love from our embrace. please dear sister biko forgive your darling brother and husband in Jesus name. show him how to forgive i beg. have a blessed day. your relationship is worth saving |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by twinstaiye(m): 1:50pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
joshjosh: That is a nice one, I just add that to my knowledge. |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by Dreloaded(f): 3:14pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
some guys are just drama queens Anyway amsky, while I agree that since shapey and her husband were finally able to talk (hopefully they've both come to an agreement on how such matters should be dealt with) and that she should go back hiome and help him with his exams, she CANT go anywhere UNTIL something is done about her sister in law, either her husband talks to her or whatever he wants to do, point is shapey should stay with you guys until her husband settles things with that witch. Until then, there wont be any peace and her going back there when that tart is running around will just make things worse. When her husband gets things straightened out, perferrably by getting a restraining order on the sister away from shapey then yes she should definitely move back in and hopefully everything will be normal again, un til then No. |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by shapey(f): 4:15pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
hello everyone.i've read the posts.and they all made sense to me. my husband had to do an about turn when he heard of his sister's latest drama.he came back,we went to the house together and sorted out his sister's stuff.it's now in storage. her monetary claims are a gigantic lie.where did she get the 8k from to loan my husband and i?i cant help laughing at this point.anyway,like i said earlier,experience teaches. joshjosh are you married?when you do-if you're not-she'll be so lucky.my husband has alerted the cops about his sister's threats.she sent me an e-mail saying she'll deal with me and that my parents will search for me.she has been asked by the cops to''pop in and have a chat with us''. i do not know now if there'll be any such thing as a restraining order,but since the police are aware,she'll be wary of doing anything against the law. when that is handled,then i'll be heading back home,hoping to continue with my hitherto peaceful life. |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by abbey10(m): 4:37pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
Shapey, Thank God u had a safe trip. As for ur husband,I'm begging you to pls reconsider and go home.He needs you now more than ever. YOu had confronted your worst nightmares and I believe that's the end of it. You are better now,wiser. What you just passed thru will definitely make you a better woman. It is well. |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by vigasimple(m): 4:37pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
@ shapey If you keep to your signature 'don't worry be happy' then sky is the limit. I don't know this your sister-in-law but I think she is the one the devil is using unfortunatelty for her she is almost ready matured woman for marriage. If she is lucky to have anyone to marry her then it will be pay backtime. Remember my advice in my previous post here. Thera are 2 types of war. The spiritual and the physical. Usually people who are not here with you in the UK will be fighthing spiritual but once you call the name and blood of jJesus with your husband in prayer and fasting. They cannot do you or your husband anything. I willalso advice your husband to pretend as if both of you are on your own and not pick anyones phone for some foreeable future. Plant disarray and confusion in the camp of the enemy, don't let them know what you are doing, that way they wil be asking questions 'are they or are they not together, they will be busygossipping while you are building your life and making babies. You and your husband are very lucky couple. You quickly able to see the eyes of the enemy early in your marriage before you have children so you will know how to handle in-laws from both sides. One more piece of advice, just ask your mother to pray for you and encourage you in your marriage and any negative thing she might see or hear for her to just continue to pray for you. Because if you ask her she has fought her own battle with your father's family and her own family with her own marriage. I see bouncing baby this time next year. have a great day with your hubby and God bless you abundantly. |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by Nobody: 4:43pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
For this last post from Shapey I say, Jesus i Thank you wellu wellu, i thank You wellu wellu. The Lord has done it again |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by Dreloaded(f): 4:49pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
shapey: I still personally think a restraining order should be drawn up in case she tries anything fishy while you are at work or anywhere outside your house. Either way as long as the cops have been notified, all should be well. Btw, you should give the cops the copy of the email and whatever threatening garbage she sends so they are fully aware of how psychotic the girl is. and yes when all that mess is handled THEN you should go back home and hopefully by His grace your life will be fine again and your husband will pass his exams |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by Kogilomo(m): 5:11pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
Shapey, The nightmare is over already. I think you and your husband need to be together asap and be under one roof so that the healing can take place quicker. The more you see each other and talk, the quicker your relationship will get back to its original state. I know it may not be easy at the beginning but just go through the motions such as exchanging warm greetings, welcome him back from work with a hug, calling him his pet name (even if it sounds heavy in your mouth at the moment), etc. Just begin to do what you used to do before this whahala started and before long, it will be as if you never had a misunderstanding with him. I don’t believe in separation or divorce because they never solve the problem. Fortunately enough, He loves you very much and vice versa despite all the brouhaha. You are a winner already!! Stay blessed. |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by spoilt(f): 5:13pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
shapey: That's what i'm talking about! That's how to be a man. Whoever is not for you is against you. Dont matter if its a blood relative she has just got to go. Abeg make you go enjoy your husband. Ding-Dong the biaaaatch is gone! |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by floxyrangy: 5:18pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
I am happy things are looking up for the couple. As for that his sister, she should just be deported o! Infact, I pray she marries the worst man in the world and have the worst in laws in the world. I don't even know what word to describe her with. |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by DD5: 6:42pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
at last things are indeeding [b]shapey[/b]ing up. Bye bye to witches in your home . . . ur husband i'm sure is very sorry pls go home and at least see him thru his exams first. |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by amsky(m): 7:10pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
no-ooo the baby won't wait till next year.once she leaves with her husband now,i know he'll score.the guy is able to do all things. her hubby is working on getting a restraining order,we are hoping that'll be cleared up by friday morning.she has finally agreed to go back to her house when the restraining order is done. as for that sister in law,she must pay me o!!!!my £850 full payment.i know she'll come to her senses,and crawl back asking to be forgiven.she's a very wicked person. her husband is still in shock at his sister's early morning performance.he now knows his family is up to no good.i know they'll come thru. |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by Dreloaded(f): 7:20pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
her hubby is working on getting a restraining order,we are hoping that'll be cleared up by friday morning.she has finally agreed to go back to her house when the restraining order is done. Excellent |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by joshjosh(m): 7:36pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
thanks that restraining order must be in place quick. God bless you for being there for her. mayyou get support even before the need arise in your life. Everything God Said About You Will Come to Pass Daily Devotional Wednesday, January 23 from Called to Conquer Today’s Scripture Reading: Genesis 37:5–36, 45:1–15 Key Verse: Genesis 45:8 It was not you who sent me here, but God; and He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt.After Joseph’s jealous brothers threw him into a pit and sold him into slavery because of his visions, he soon found himself in Potiphar’s house where he again faced mistreatment. Although he was only seventeen years old at the time, Joseph held on because somehow he received and believed the vision of God despite his circumstances and the many people who tried to stop him.Whatever God spoke about you in eternity will happen in your life, no matter what people try to do to you financially, politically, physically, or spiritually. If God said it, you will get it.God said in Jeremiah 1:5 that before you were formed in your mother’s womb, He knew you. Paul added in 2 Timothy 1:9 that not only did God call you, but He gave you a holy calling. No one can add to it or subtract from it. The devil cannot add or take anything away, no matter what he throws at you.God said it, so it has to happen. Regardless of whatever happens in the “in-between” time, the things God said will come to pass. He will see to it that you make it through to the end.Today's Prayer:Heavenly Father, thank You for divine purpose and the holy calling You have given me. Today I am reminded that it was You who sent me here and not other men or women. What You have said about me will come to pass as surely as the sun rises each day, and no one can add to or subtract from Your decrees. Thank You, in Jesus’ name. |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by amsky(m): 8:09pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
joshjosh you have been such a great guy.thanks.i didn't think you were this born anew. that's good.pls keep being yourself okay. many thanks. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by adeboo(f): 9:02pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
Oga o. Me thinking this story was over and i see like 5 more pages. Na wa o. Shapey welcome back jare and i thank God for journey mercies. All i can say is that tank God for brilliant family members. Your cousin, sister, mother etc. Girl, i have experience the whole different language palava. In my case, they even brought a wife to him, into our house and they spoke their language - me still being all nice and cordial while they killed me in their native tongue. Girl, this is a real eye opener sha - you and ur man has some serious issues to discuss - for sure. And girl dont even think that its over, get on ur knees and get closer to the God that was present when u said ur vows. I dont blame ur Mum, i would have done the same thing. |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by Dreloaded(f): 9:23pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
i wouldnt exactly give that title to a guy known as being an advocate for female circumsion, amsky but hey whatever adeboo, you didnrt understand the language at all?? |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by adeboo(f): 9:33pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
D-reloaded: What language? |
Re: My Marriage Is Dying Before My Eyes: Help by Dreloaded(f): 9:39pm On Jan 23, 2008 |
adeboo: Im referring to this. |
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