USAMarshal:

After reading this ladies story about ivf, her previous post and 9 years childlessnes, I feel like I know who she is. For readers wanting to know what happened this time, I will say read between the lines. The hubby was getting sperm from a [b]street walker for the IVF[/b] ( IVF involves artificial fertilization of the egg with male sperm).I will advice her to leave him and also sue his ass. He is a devil in human form!!!How could he do that if not that he is horrible.

dasparrow: @Post

This too shall pass. Just take each day one step at a time. The Lord is your strength.

As for all the insensitive nairalanders talking trash to the poster, God is watching you. Just because this is an online forum does not mean you have to display your heartlessness here. Then again, I have long known that most Nigerians can be so insensitive. Why do you think I keep most Nigerians at bay? Mtshew!

Sexxymom: everyone's is entitle to their own opinion. There are 2 sides to a story.u've heard the op's side what about d ex? she got married to a divorcee,did she find out what TRULY happened with his previous marriage? What if she lacked some qualities(no one's perfect), what if she nagged him or wasnt good in bed,cooking or any other thing? was she willing to correct it? A man is d head of a family while d woman is d neck of a family,they both need eachother to stand.not everything u say online,d op cant tell u d whole story or did u or me live with them to knw if all she says are correct

afam4eva: You got over it the moment you signed the divorce papers.

Kobojunkie:

The above is insensitive and not grounded in reality.

No matter how pompous, filled-with-self, confident you are, as long as you are human, REJECTION hits you about the same way it hits others. Only we all deal with it in different ways. Rejection knows no gender.

Metalgoong:

Don't worry, she will soon tell you how stupid and ignorant you Nigerian women are, and how you Nigerian women are the cause of how those chauvinistic, misogynistic, bad , and wicked Nigerian men are treating you all . . lol

Nice post though.

pslm23: Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. This is indeed a road i never thought i'd walk! When i said "I Do" to him, i fully intended to stay married forever. What this has taught me though is that we as humans might have our own pre-conceived ideas on how we want our lives to turn out but in the long run,God has the ultimate say so!

I will not entirely lay the blame on him because yes, this IVF thing really took its toll on me but that does not warrant what he did, how he did it, putting me, my health and everything i have ever worked for at such great risk. Not knowing if i was going to be told i had contracted some horrible disease that will kill me and to cap it all, he was unapologetic. The ultimate betrayal is telling your wife, that you intentionally took that male birth control measure because you never really wanted any more children cos you have grown children from your first marriage! All these years of IUI, IVF and trying to be a mommy, and it took catching him with a street walker for the truth to come out! I thought i had a happy fulfilled marriage that was only lacking one thing, a child!
This is why i asked, how do i learn to breathe again in a normal way? how can i remove this heaviness from my heart? How will i ever trust anybody again, man or woman!
That your marriage crashed is not the end of your life.I have seen worst cases,yet those involved still moved on.Your life does not depend on a particular man!It is only God that is dependable,not human.I do not know how old you are,but you must move on.You still have chances to put your life on track again.I have learnt to believe that in life nothing is impossible,it is still possible for you to live your dream life."With God all things are possible"
I am still in therapy, i have travelled to be with my sister and her kids, but the pain is still there. I loved that man with all my heart! I really did! One day, i will stand strong again but i doubt if i ever will love again like i did!
God bless you all for your responses!

Sexxymom: this is d part where i would say "love is blind" but guess what?my love is wearing a sharp glasses so i can see well and clear. Sometimes d sign r there but we choose to ignore beliving it will get better and on d long run its get worst.i dnt have to wait to b rejected,once i see and feel d signs i reject d person.a strong woman should learn to controll her emotions and not her emotions controlling her. Gudluck kobo.

USAMarshal: sperm. you need sperm and eggg for IVF

Siena:

I beg to disagree. I have followed Sister Pslm's other thread, and read between the lines. Her decision to get a divorce wouldn't have been made lightly. Staying married in the circumstances she found herself in would be unhealthy. Your attitude here is one of the reasons there are lots of unhappy marriages. Staying in such a relationship is damaging, and no less a failed marriage than if you upped and left.

I'm not a woman, but I've been there, my decision to get a divorce was one of the sanest choices I ever made. Sister Pslm, just like there's no parenting manual, manual telling you how to handle grief and hurt, there's no manual that tells you how to cope with divorce. You take each day as it comes, and in time, you'll heal. You'll learn to love yourself, and the hurt and recriminations will fade. I followed your other thread, and you're a truly remarkable woman, many would have buckled under the strain, but not you, the sterner stuff you're made of will see you through.

Take heart, I know deep down you'll be fine. Think of this as the beginning of the rest of your life.

chaircover:

Ivy, Husband wife matter is very delicate and complicated and even though you are condemning the people saying nasty things to Psalm, you are guilty too. This woman asked for help on how to get over this and move forward, she didn't ask for anyone to condemn her husband. He is still her husband until the day that they divorce. Worst things have happened in peoples marriages and they have managed to get through it so you can never say never until its final.

You have just called someone a devil based on a few lines that psalm wrote. Even psalm didn't call her husband a devil and I dont even think that 80% of us understood what exactly went on from psalms explanation, but we all know that she is hurting and that we are trying to counsel her, which you can do without bringing the husband down because indirectly you are bringing her down too; you are indirectly calling her a fool for being with a devil & trying to have a devils kids . . . . .you see what I mean?

Please try not to let us run away with out emotions. She is very vulnerable right now and one has to be careful what one says.

Ivynwa:


Ewoo, Nne her husband is an angel. Yes o-o he is even the most favorite angel before Angel Michael came to be. I hope you are happy now that I am keeping the unwritten rules of some persons in nairaland. You have to sit nice and prim and read it to me that I called a man (that is taking birth control measure yet watching his wife going through rigorous IVF treatment) a devil. What have you said to the persons reminding her that she married a divorcee and others telling her that she is being punished for the part she played in another marriage?

If you want to counsel her your own way/method, why don't you close the thread and go counsel her alone that way you won't need to see the comment of other posters to instead of writing your own script to put in my mouth to comment. If you want to read only what you want to hear here then start with admonishing the main culprits that throw acid and atomic bomb of words on people when they come sharing their sorrows here. We are all reading and feeling sorry for this lady, I hope things work out good for her as it won't be up to six months when the mockers in the section will start rubbing it in her face and laughing at her how she is below them for having no husband and a broken marriage. You know what am talking about woman, a pregnant woman has been made jest of because of her financial state, distressed women in unhappy marriages insulted and called names, just two days ago a man that has shared his divorce story was mocked right in your face madam and you never say a word because the persons that mock people here are untouchables/too big in your eyes to be admonished. You can tell the moderator to ban me for not commenting the way you want, You can even open a thread and be telling the unmarried lady how complicated marriage is, you can also come and sweep me out of the forum and section nah as I no carry marriage certificate like una wey dey feel married and on top of the world. Excuse me.

Ivynwa:

You can tell the moderator to ban me for not commenting the way you want, You can even open a thread and be telling the unmarried lady how complicated marriage is, you can also come and sweep me out of the forum and section nah as I no carry marriage certificate like una wey dey feel married and on top of the world. Excuse me.

Ivynwa: Who cares whether she is right or wrong? If she wants to be right about admonishing she should admonish when people gets mocked about in the forum, she can't tell me that they are trying to counsel somebody and that I shouldn't say what I said. The forum is for everybody not for a certain some. You can type in all that you want to say too. Thanks.

Ujujoan:

Haba . .. na fight? There's no need for you to get antagonistic over a minor correction.
Anyways na you sabi. Me I don tire to talk today jare . . .

ifyalways: Uju, ivy unu akpasukwana m iwe. Ozugo nu.
She needs our support not for us to nuso onwe anyi ogu. Biko.

Ivynwa:


Go about your business sweetheart.
Where did the word "fight" emanate from? Be the lady that you are and walk on please. Thanks very much.

Ujujoan:

Ivy ma na ike adi ro'm taata!

Shaking my b0tt0m right and left . . . making shakara and walking away!