earthgreeners: Poster, If ACN led government dey piss u off, abeg go weewee..
Or go ur villa.

boladez:
5. If we keep seeking knowledge and education and ensure voluntary compliance, LASTMA guys will be forced to respond positively.

texazzpete:

See this dolt! Were you under a rock when the LASTMA commander was desperately trying to pin the death of one of his employees on an innocent lady? The commander INSISTED several times that the lady (who was in a parked vehicle) ran down a LASTMA employee and killed him...and then escaped to a nearby estate.

if not for eyewitnesses, this woman would still be on trial for murder!

Tell us the educational criteria that one needs to get to be in LASTMA before you start opening your mouth to spew imbecilic nonsense. If Sanitizing Lagos was their objective, they would have been airing sensitizing information on the radio and TV stations to tell people not to cross those white lines. One-way streets would be marked boldly. LASTMA officials would not be lying in ambush to trick people into breaking the law. In more developed climes, agencies like LASTMA are designed to prevent road accidents and boost public safety. In Lagos state they are a cash generation outfit.

Your problem is that you are a bush man. I do not doubt that you have some money, but that apparently has not taken the bushness out of you. If not, you would not be defending an agency whose agents would forcefully enter your vehicle without a warrant, whose agents would illegally confiscate your car keys.

babniyen: They are not Agbero's but robbers in training.

2mch: So you ran a red light and you got fined only 10k. The law says 30k in case you have forgotten. So if you killed a whole family breaking the law, what do you think your story would have been? 14yrs in kirikiri awaiting trial. You better thank your stars. You broke the law and endangered lives, yet you are complaining about somebody being and agbero? What are you OP? Sane? You seem like you need a strait jacket. O ri e ti gba paro.

2mch: So you ran a red light and you got fined only 10k. The law says 30k in case you have forgotten. So if you killed a whole family breaking the law, what do you think your story would have been? 14yrs in kirikiri awaiting trial. You better thank your stars. You broke the law and endangered lives, yet you are complaining about somebody being and agbero? What are you OP? Sane? You seem like you need a strait jacket. O ri e ti gba paro.

faluasafe: They are meant to ensure compliance with the new Lagos state traffic laws. But the LASTMA I saw today(16-09-12) are nothing but glorified 'Agberos' robed in uniform.
Early in the morning, I wanted to quickly dash to itire from egbeda to see my not-too-strong mum.Having turned red, myself and other motorists had to wait for the traffic light to beckon on us to move.

A LASTMA official waved me to wind down the side glass which I obliged.
Every other thing that happened thereafter looked like a robbery operation.
He unlocked the car door,jumped in and started dragging the car key with me. I quickly parked the car. He snatched the car key after forcefully switching off the car.

As if they had been lurking around, his other colleagues stormed the scene saying all sort of things-we will show you this is lagos, you are a mad man. I was too dazed to even say a thing. I still donot understand my offence. They instructed me to enter the car and off we went to their oshodi office.

Different shades of vehicles are being driven in minute after minute. A look around will only show you men in uniform smoking,displaying all sort of rascality. I needed to keep quiet n started begging them. Meanwhile, various deals were going on-vehicles,okada,keke napep owners exchanging cash for the release of their belongings.

I was told to bring 30k but after all begging was told to bring 10k and nothing less. I bailed my car out of course without any receipt. I was informed that's the practice.
I have seen several good things being done by the present administration in Lagos, but I can tell you all that the present crop of 'officers' in

LASTMA are at best 'agberos' who are having a field day courtesy of the ACN-led government.
If the government can not overhaul this body, then other victims of this rascality like myself should pick a different option come 2015.
What an eventful weekend.

2mch: So you ran a red light and you got fined only 10k. The law says 30k in case you have forgotten. So if you killed a whole family breaking the law, what do you think your story would have been? 14yrs in kirikiri awaiting trial. You better thank your stars. You broke the law and endangered lives, yet you are complaining about somebody being and agbero? What are you OP? Sane? You seem like you need a strait jacket. O ri e ti gba paro.

Toks2008:

This Menace called LASTMA is one hell of an organization filled with 90% touts.

Believe it or not, Lastma criminally generates over 1billion naira monthly for the state Government, this is why Lagos state government will give them full support for these erroneous acts they commit day by day. Out of every 10cars impounded by lastma, you can rest assure that maybe just one is actually guilty of contravening traffic rules.

And If you are caught in anyway, you will be faced to pay the following crazy fees.

1. Lastma offense fee ranging into tens of thousands
2. Crazy training fee to lasdri which is about 5k
3. You pay non negotiable 10k or more for the towing van used in dragging your vehicle to their office.
4. You will now have to pay tax clearance to a crazy government that will never provide jobs for its citizens.
5. You will now pay 500naira per day for cars and more for trucks,buses and the likes for each day your car stays before redemption by you.

These Bunch of touts have been giving so much power by the state government due to the huge revenue they generate that it has gotten to their heads so what do you expect?

saxywale: Seems you are very familiar with their modus operandi. Is it really true they are given income targets by LASG and the profit is for Lastma officers once they go above the daily target? just asking ooo

earthgreeners: Poster, If ACN led government dey piss u off, abeg go weewee..
Or go ur villa.

aryzgreat: i dont gve a damn if LASTMA TOUTS stop me, i'll crush the criminals to death without blinking! bunch of agberos!

faluasafe: Re: A Day At LASTMA Office Oshodi by Mcfemad(m): 11:31pm On Sep 18

This is so serious!
As it is, I had fruitful discussions with their Oshodi commander today when he came visiting our company. I raised an issue like this which he did not denied. He termed them as 'bad eggs' in the system which I believe is everywhere.
I can help out if you would like to lodge a formal complaint. Issues like this should not be brought under the carpert. It has to be dealt with

If their so-called oga called those guys'bad eggs' among them, I am not sure if really the guy is in charge. The point I am making here there is no point given those lads jobs like this to enforce.my conclusion that day was (and I stand to be corrected)_these guys are political thugs compesated for their contribution to the success of the ACN-led govt.

Help me out? How? Well, wat will u do na? I can be reached on bb PIN 2871C052.

For the guy that asked if I truly own the car, go to their oshodi office n ask for the details of a toyota camry '01 model (gold)they impounded last sunday morning.

stagger: LASTMA should thank their God I don't live in Lagos. I will mark the official in question and have his entire family killed one after the other.

Babaelemu: Mr MAN. I don't believe in your write-up. Your just here to tarnish yoruba's image as usual. Get a job and leave with it as least we are progressing and we are proud to be agberos that what makes us to be accommodating. Nothing you can do about it. Its our lifestyle deal with yours "awon omo ole" (barawo)

Ariyke: u can imagine the kind of live this people are living, my office happen to be near this people's office. They extort money from people in the name of helping them, the money that enters their own pocket is even more than what they generate to the government's pocket.

There are some people among those arrested that will even want to harm themselves in there presence to prove they dont av what they are demanding (mostsly old okada men) bt all they do is laugh @ them infact i cant remember how many times av witnessed such things since they moved there.

Toks2008:



My Story is no different from other innocent victims.

I pulled over at a designated Bus-top, just to see these men appear from no where with towing vans stating that i parked at a bustop. I argued with them that i did not park because my car side glasses were all down and i just left the car for just 2 minutes but all these fell on deaf hears and they succeeded in towing the car to their office.

I went straight to their head office in Oshodi to file a complaint. The PA to the chairman who is well educated agreed that one can pack at a bustop but should not be more than 5mins.

Did he waive the charges? Hell no but he just reduced the fee and all in all, i ended up spending about 50k for an offence i did not commit shuttling from one bank branch to another trying to pay in these crazy fees into the state Govt account. My friends this is crazy.

flexya: COPIED FROM JOKES SECTION. So all credits 2 the OP

25 Rules of driving in Lagos
1. When in doubt, accelerate!

2. Be prepared to ram into anything stopping you that is wearing uniform in Lagos (police,traffic warden, FRSC, Kai brigade, fire brigade, VIO, LASTMA, LAMATA, LASWA)

3.If you get caught by any chance, do not allow them to enter your car, if they happen to get in do not drive from that spot (veer off traffic & settle promply), and if they don’t agree, pretend that you are calling your uncle who is in the army (believe me it always works), never follow them to any sort of office except you are ready to pay ten times more than what was demanded.

4. Never give police or VIO your original particulars (whether expired or up to date).

5. Danfo drivers believe they are immortal. Never yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise.

6. Okada riders have a pact with suicide, avoid them like a plaque.

7. Avoid BRT buses in all ramifications, they have no brakes.

8. Taxi cabs (oko asewo) should always have the right of way, all of them have been driving in Lagos for 25 years.

9. Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.

10. The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it. Survival of the fittest you may say!

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. In Lagos, potholes (and sometimes car-holes) are put in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and shock absorbers,( I saw one man fishing in one of the potholes last week).

12. There is no such thing as “one-way” in Lagos. Expect traffic from any direction at all times. The okada riders are the experts in this area.

13. Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive bodywork, except you want to spend your whole Saturday at the panel beater’s place.

14. Morning rush-hours are equivalent to Lagos grand prix (who gets to the junction first).

15. There is no such thing as a short-cut during rush-hour traffic in Lagos. Everybody might be inclined to take that ’short-cut’.

16. When asking for directions, always ask at least three people. Lagosians always claim to know every inch of the city – even areas they’ve never been to.

17. Use extreme caution when pulling into service lanes. Service lanes are not for breaking down the traffic, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.

18. Never use directional signals, since they only confound and distract other Lagos drivers, who are not used to them.

19. Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals. Lagos drivers, unused to such courtesies, will think you are making obscene gestures to them. This could be very bad for you in Lagos.

20. Hazard lights (popularly called “double pointer”) is not, (as commonly supposed) used to indicate a hazard. It is a warning to you that he is a bonafide Lagos driver, he’s headed ’straight’ and as such, will not stop under any circumstance. Take him extremely seriously especially if he backs it up with a continuous blast from his “horn”.

21. At any given time, do not stand on the zebra crossing expecting traffic to yield to you, or else you will have to explain to the on coming traffic whether you look like a zebra.

22. Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.

23. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

24. In Lagos every spot is a potential bus stop. FRSC and LASTMA know that too. It is in their constitution.

25. Above all, keep moving. Even with a flat tyre!!!