The late Peter Enahoro, nicknamed Peter Pan, wrote a book entitled, “How to be a Nigerian.’’ The book is about Nigerians and how they tend to behave in certain situations. Going by the contents of the book, it is possible to bet on Nigerians’ likely response to a given situation and not lose a dime. Perhaps the author is right. For close to two weeks now, the House of Representatives’ probe of power projects during the administration of former President Olusegun Obasanjo has been a cathartic experience for quite a number of Nigerians.


Curious lessons on how to be a Nigerian

Expectedly, many Nigerians are fast getting on with life in spite of the mystery surrounding the whereabouts of the missing plane. It does not really matter to them whether government is serious about giving out N45m to anyone with useful information on the plane or not.

But, the one show that has continued to thrill spectators is the election tribunals. Take or leave it, Nigerians are simply good at not allowing situations, no matter how grim and grave, to overwhelm them. Heads or tails, Nigerians are capable of devising the ingenuity of remaining on top.

Since the April 2007 general elections, there have been series of court cases and different pronouncements. Amidst these, Nigerians have witnessed lots of drama.

Who else but a Nigerian will throw a party a day before the tribunal decides a petition case against him to further rattle his opponents? That was exactly what one of the south west PDP governors did before the tribunal’s pronouncement penultimate week. He threw a very grand party at the state house a day before judgement and ‘miraculously,’ he won the case.

Of course, the other party is set to appeal, but who really cares about that? Who says yet another ‘miracle’ won’t manifest at the Supreme Court?

Another surprising fallout of the tribunals is the Nigerian politician’s professed love and belief in the rule of law, especially those whose sauce are likely to be flavoured by the results. For instance, shortly after the ruling that effectively sacked the Abia State Governor, Theodore Orji, The PDP Acting National Secretary, Mr. Bernard Eze, had told the News Agency of Nigeria that “We always have confidence in the judiciary, hence the chorus: “we abide by the laws of the country.”

When any party wins, what you hear is, “The judgment had vindicated our members by upholding the truth. We are happy and ask Nigerians to have patience and take it easy with the judiciary.” In such cases the victory is described as that of the masses and the emancipation of truth.

But, when they lose, you start hearing words like ‘abortion of justice.’ That is when the judiciary stops being the last hope of the common man. The losing party is also quick to describe the judgement as ‘‘a bundle of contradictions delivered by judges who have been bought over.’’

The magnanimity of ‘winners’ at the tribunals shouldn’t surprise you either. That is what it takes to be a ‘good’ Nigerian. Invite the opposition who probably are still licking their wounds from the lost case to sheathe their swords and join you in moving the state forward. Forward, here, could mean anything.

Though it is not particularly startling to learn that our traditional rulers react to electoral pronouncements, how they have decided to react is a different kettle of fish entirely. The Soun of Ogbomoso, for instance, who was supposed to give evidence against the PDP at the tribunal decided to maintain a (dignified)? silence. The Alaafin of Oyo, Oba Lamidi Adeyemi,’s reaction to the Oyo State elections tribunal’s ruling is extraordinary. As the life chairman of the state’s council of Obas, he gathered 23 other Obas and off, they went to the state capital. His, was a royal entry as expected.

According to the Oba, it was a great thing that Governor Adebayo Alao-Akala won at the tribunal because the reverse would have been disastrous for him and his Obas. According to Adeyemi, they all would have sunk with the governor if his political ship had capsized.

Hm, very fascinating remarks coming from a royal father, you might say. Well, one shouldn’t blame him yet because the Oba should know where his daily supply of butter for breakfast comes from. There is no need urging him to sink or not. He knows the opponent will still file an appeal anyway.

But wait a minute! What happens if PDP loses at the Supreme Court? Should we then start getting a rescue team ready to save the Oba and his lieutenants? Being a Nigerian, I know that wouldn’t be necessary. The Oba sure knows how to effectively abandon a sinking ship for safety.