No Qualms: Like many people have said, there's no one-cap-fits-all in this issue. I operate a joint account meant for family projects with my hubby while having personal accounts on the side.

I know of a couple that doesn't have a joint account and may never try it. Infact, the wife has access to her husband's account and determines how their salaries are spent. The husband is cool with it because he spends anyhow, he sees his wife as his saviour.

In other words, do what u believe is best for your family.

Off-topic, can I start using my husband's surname after doing the 'change of name' stuff in the dailies? Or is there any other thing I have to do? How do I present my certificates now that my surname has changed? Thank you.

You start using your husband 's name.

@stego,people that share the same zodiac signs are more likely to think alike,but just know that know one can ever think exactly like you.Wont marriage be boring without little individual differences?

The replies on this thread are quite shocking. Taking into consideration that all the women that have brazenly defended why they have refused to become one financially with their husbands have one time or the other tried to pretend as if their marriages are eldorados.
Lets not decieve ourselves, the major reason why these women are so unrepentant about their divisive stance on marital finances is due to a chronic lack of trust in their husbands fidelity.
As africans we are perfect at pretence so I expect a good number of seperate account protagonists to spring up their defenses but we can all see beyond the veil can't we ?
The only reason they wouldn't wanna keep a common purse with their supposed husband , somebody they stood in front of man and God to proclaim undying love for and even go ahead to vow that they'd stick with in sickness and health is because of that fear of him running away someday with a galfriend somewhere and their money.
like I always say, these past generation has robbed us of everything morals, sound education, social facilities, they even made away with our innocence.
Most of these individual account protagonists are only acting based on what their own parents marital experiences have taught them. Imagine a child that grew up with a single mother whoose husband made away with the families savings and relocated to another planet with a younger lady.
Which oracle will convince such a child to trust a man completely ?
The effect philandering fathers have on the psyche of their young children is quite hazardous to the success of such childrens future marriages.
Another reason is GREED. most ladies are waaaaayyyyy too greedy. They'd have calculated that by having a joint account the financial responsibilities would have been succesfully shared into two which negates their afro-centric idea of the man being the sole provider in the home.
ofcourse, when the man turns around to act the real afro-centrism by being polygamous they begin to quote the bible.
I am booting out my present girl friend soon. I would have done it today but she is writing her exams and so I'll just play along till she finishes her exams.
Her fault, she doesn't think it's a wise decision to keep joint accounts. You mean you will expect me to place my life in your hands by eating your food, sleeping on the bed you lay, wearing the clothes you pick for me , spending all my money on our family and you think money will be an issue ?
If money will become an issue then maybe I need to start looking for somebody who can love me enough not to bother how I spend our money while still trusting me enough to spend it wisely.
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now that getting a man to marry in naija is as hard as getting a job Neeeeeexxxxtttt!!!!
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okay , sorry for the long post. I have been working since morning and just needed to let out some steam. lemme get back to work now.

^^ quite shocking eh? Bottom line: no matter how in love we are , news flash; we are 2 different dudes in love no matter how LONG we've been together.

I earn quite well and you don't expect me to direct deposit all that in a joint account cos I'm in love?? Okay okay I get it but am I not supposed to be smart bout my life? So if I want to get him a surprise present , I'll have to ask or take permission since we share trust and promised to be open bout the 'spending' ??

I'm having chest pain already thinking about it, my heart's pounding very hard I swear.

If things go wrong in future God forbid y'all Nayers will be the first to cast the first stone

Don't worry guitar when you get there gist us how it's turning out for you
God willing you hit big with David Foster and likes , put all your 20figures in a joint account while your olori use it as she likes for boob & nose jobs afteral all David foster intern's wives in Beverly Hills do it too.
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Murmurs angrily

@jide i know you get my drift. Those excuses about surprise bash are just cheap rationalisations and we both know. See I have no problem with people even hiding their age from their spouses but don't go all out saying it's the norm. Such a toxic information could damage the good mentality a young lady approaching marriage should have. That is the reason most marriages never make it past the first few years. Most people have been fed with toxic information about marriage and they enter into it with a deafetist and unhealtny defensive mindset. Anihillating all chances of survival that marriage could have had in the process.

Stegomiah: As @ d time of opening dis thread, i share d same view as byvan, i bliv couples should av a joint account, because trust nd understanding should not b a problem, wen u love sm1, but babyosi as xplained nd given enuf reasons y i should av a rethink, seriously i must say am confused aldo i still av a lng way 2 go.

how i wish u can marry ur exact replica, but pple are not same, we ar meant 2 complement d oda, as regards ma parents, i see it as a mistake, aldo seriously dey hardly quarel, dey av a almost perfect marriage, nd d love is still dia, but dat is one tin/general mentality i tink should b corrected. btw babyosi, do u earn more dan ur hubby? cos i guess u do, but seriously guyz, so far av learnt alot 4rm dis thread, nd we should see it as a debate, mayb i'll go wif avin both, lyk sm1 earlier stated.

I just saw your question
No I don't
Infact he earns about double my salary
This is not about making more or less
But my dear listen to the married women here
You can choose to do joint account where you pay money into but make sure you have a private checking/ current account where your salary goes

Cheap rationalization ... whatever , that's just one of many factors/reasons. I've made bad business decisions and kept mute, nobody got hurt cos it's my money , not sure if its gonna be same ball game if I siphoned it from the joint account without years of blame ( which is okay, we are all humans, I'll be mad if he gambles with my hard earned cash too)

I agree with you, it shouldn't be forced on people , to his and his owns , we are different .

Speaking of 'force' you are a hypocrite Guitar, your first posts is very judgemental and misleading too hence my furious reply.

Remember : ( keeping separate acc as a result of chronic lack of trust in their husband's fidelity ? somrone you stood proclaim in sickness and health yadda yadda?)

you know what ? I'm done with you

jidegirl12: Cheap rationalization ... whatever , that's just one of many factors/reasons. I've made bad business decisions and kept mute, nobody got hurt cos it's my money , not sure if its gonna be same ball game if I siphoned it from the joint account without years of blame ( which is okay, we are all humans, I'll be mad if he gambles with my hard earned cash too)

I agree with you, it shouldn't be forced on people , to his and owns , we are different .

Speaking of 'force' you are a hypocrite Guitar, your first posts is very judgemental and misleading too hence my furious reply.

Remember : ( keeping separate acc as a result of chronic lack of trust in their husband's fidelity ? somrone you stood proclaim in sickness and health yadda yadda?)

you know what ? I'm done with you

hahaahaaahaaa she gave up *in yuzedos voice* nor mind me jare.

jidegirl12: Cheap rationalization ... whatever , that's just one of many factors/reasons. I've made bad business decisions and kept mute, nobody got hurt cos it's my money , not sure if its gonna be same ball game if I siphoned it from the joint account without years of blame ( which is okay, we are all humans, I'll be mad if he gambles with my hard earned cash too)

I agree with you, it shouldn't be forced on people , to his and his owns , we are different .

Speaking of 'force' you are a hypocrite Guitar, your first posts is very judgemental and misleading too hence my furious reply.

Remember : ( keeping separate acc as a result of chronic lack of trust in their husband's fidelity ? somrone you stood proclaim in sickness and health yadda yadda?)

you know what ? I'm done with you

i agree 100% here

Guitarlife: hahaahaaahaaa she gave up *in yuzedos voice* nor mind me jare.

Guitar no give me heart attack oh joint ko joint ni

Anyways,we have joint for kids fees, p.tax , loans. Savings is for vacation and projects back home and emergencies . That'll do.

@jide if you go through your last post, it clearly epitomises the havoc separate account causes. You were using words like, my money, his account, my money. Is it supposed to be a cohabitation or a marriage. Pronouns like, our, we, us should have sufficed. My grand parents kept joint accounts. Infact if they needed to buy toothpaste my grandma was the one to make the purchase. The man trusted his life with the woman so how hard can it be to trust her with his money. That was the happiest marriage i have ever witnessed. RIP, deaconess atanda.

Can somebody else reply this guy? Epitome the havoc ko! Its MY MONEY so what??

jidegirl12: Can somebody else reply this guy? Epitome of havoc ko! Its MY MONEY so what??

roflllllll. Epitome of havoc ke ?

jidegirl12: Can somebody else reply this guy? Epitome of havoc ko! Its MY MONEY so what??

and it's not your money. It belongs to both pa and ma jydo.

Guitarlife: roflllllll. Epitome of havoc ke ?

Lmao guitar see what you caused I just jammed your grammar together wasn't thinking anymore

Guitarlife: and it's not your money. It belongs to both pa and ma jydo.

It'll take a while to get used to that I'm very possessive. It gives me sense of independence and freedom.

There is nothing wrong in opening a joint account with ur spouse. I think a couple should have a joint account for all d commun expenses. However, each should have a personal account. It is sad, but there is love and there is money. When everything is ok, no problem..but when something wrong happens, money becomes a serious issue. How many times I saw couples fighting over money..How many times I saw couples about to divorce fighting for money..That's sad but it is a serious issue. Precaution...In life, u never know..Am not talking about hiding stuff..no, I want clarity..but have a joint account for all d commun expenses, and a personal account will seriously reduce d problems in case of a divorce, or separation.

Guitarlife: @jide if you go through your last post, it clearly epitomises the havoc separate account causes. You were using words like, my money, his account, my money. Is it supposed to be a cohabitation or a marriage. Pronouns like, our, we, us should have sufficed. My grand parents kept joint accounts. Infact if they needed to buy toothpaste my grandma was the one to make the purchase. The man trusted his life with the woman so how hard can it be to trust her with his money. That was the happiest marriage i have ever witnessed. RIP, deaconess atanda.

What if I tell you that when he borrows money from me he must pay back in cash
Oh yes
I don't joke with my money o
A granddaughter of a reputable okirika merchant in Enugu, port harcourt and Jos ( Peace Be unto my grandpa) and a daughter of a shrewd businessman that ate hot eba in one hand and counted Naira notes in another
I no dey joke with my money lai lai

I know the sincere ones will agree with me that although keeping a separate account may be the reality it's not the ideal choice. Why do you think you are given a certificate when you marry ? Do you think if the priest had factored in divorce they'd go ahead and join you ? Like people are now coming out now to admit, the major reason is a lack of trust and anticipation of future separation thus a need to secure ones future in the aftermath of a bitter divorce. All other excuses are just cosmetic. It's a shame but as we have noticed it's rampant and that's the time we live in now. Laaawd help me as I hunt for a new girlfriend.

Guitarlife: I know the sincere ones will agree with me that although keeping a separate account may be the reality it's not the ideal choice. Why do you think you are given a certificate when you marry ? Do you think if the priest had factored in divorce they'd go ahead and join you ? Like people are now coming out now to admit, the major reason is a lack of trust and anticipation of future separation thus a need to secure ones future in the aftermath of a bitter divorce. All other excuses are just cosmetic. It's a shame but as we have noticed it's rampant and that's the time we live in now. Laaawd help me as I hunt for a new girlfriend.

May you be blessed with a good girlfriend exactly like Jidegirl as far as money is concerned
Amen

babyosisi:

What if I tell you that when he borrows money from me he must pay back in cash
Oh yes
I don't joke with my money o
A granddaughter of a reputable okirika merchant in Enugu, port harcourt and Jos ( Peace Be unto my grandpa) and a daughter of a shrewd businessman that ate hot eba in one hand and counted Naira notes in another
I no dey joke with my money lai lai

trust me, this is the foundation you have laid for your marriage and who am I to say it's shaky. Mmmmmmhhhhhhhhhn *shudders*

babyosisi:

May you be blessed with a good girlfriend exactly like Jidegirl far as money is concerned
Amen

you mean the revised version of jidegal right ?

Guitarlife: trust me, this is the foundation you have laid for your marriage and who am I to say it's shaky. Mmmmmmhhhhhhhhhn *shudders*

Not at all honey.
I have been married a while
My husband has never ever complained that we don't have a joint account
The only man that will care about his wife having a separate account is a man who doesn't make enough on his own or one with an ulterior motive


Infact any girl whose man is so concerned about her money coming into a joint account ought to be wary
That is a controlling man that wants to control your earnings

babyosisi:

Not at all honey.
I have been married a while
My husband has never ever complained that we don't have a joint account
The only man that will care about his wife having a separate account is a man who doesn't make enough on his own or one with an ulterior motive


Infact any girl whose man is so concerned about her money coming into a joint account ought to be wary
That is a controlling man that wants to control your earnings

you mean even if i ask her to be the custodian ?

Guitarlife: you mean even if i ask her to be the custodian ?

I will gladly be a custodian

Why not have a joint account and a separate account? Everyone should have goals as a couple while maintaining their individual goals. Marriage doesn't make me any less me.

babyosisi:

Not at all honey.
I have been married a while
My husband has never ever complained that we don't have a joint account
The only man that will care about his wife having a separate account is a man who doesn't make enough on his own or one with an ulterior motive


Infact any girl whose man is so concerned about her money coming into a joint account ought to be wary
That is a controlling man that wants to control your earnings

And vice versa too i.e a girl who insists that she must manage all your resources.So as not to spill much, i know a couple where the husband had a child in his teens.Now he is married and they have access to all accounts.Now wifey(quite wrongly though cos she knew he had a child and married him anyway.....love me love my dog) is quite vocal about things he should do for his own child.Always blocking or saying no she does not need it (all this na first hand I know) even with things that concern the poor girls education.And its not like she would do the same to her kids (someone already planning for a 3 yr old university).Her husband more or less has to ask permission to do stuff for his own flesh and blood.

Also, the love of money is indeed the root of all evil.I have heard of mothers one way or the other mishandling their kids finances.Sometimes it does not mean that mother loves their child any less, they might not just be adept at financial management.So its better to avoid business and family so resentments dont build up.I have soooooo many instances where money caused life long rifts between blood.

My own reason is not because of girlfriend or polygamy or whatever.If its that sef why will I entrust him with money for projects? If I should listen to some family members, they believe you dont do projects with a Man , do your own make I do my own.My husband can afford infidelity without my money so how is that even a factor.

That said though, I would never condemn those who do joint resources.As we keep chanting on NL, each to his own.

I don't know if it's me or I need to brush up my English but I don't seem to get guitarlife's point(s). I don't see anything wrong with having separate accounts at all. It depends on the couple involved.

Guitarlife, leave that girl biko, you both deserve it.

.

You are a daniel.. when they say marriages on NL are perfect for mouth sake....

10000 Likes!!!

Men: My money:our money

Women: My money:MY MONEY

Guitarlife: The replies on this thread are quite shocking. Taking into consideration that all the women that have brazenly defended why they have refused to become one financially with their husbands have one time or the other tried to pretend as if their marriages are eldorados.
Lets not decieve ourselves, the major reason why these women are so unrepentant about their divisive stance on marital finances is due to a chronic lack of trust in their husbands fidelity.
As africans we are perfect at pretence so I expect a good number of seperate account protagonists to spring up their defenses but we can all see beyond the veil can't we ?
The only reason they wouldn't wanna keep a common purse with their supposed husband , somebody they stood in front of man and God to proclaim undying love for and even go ahead to vow that they'd stick with in sickness and health is because of that fear of him running away someday with a galfriend somewhere and their money.
like I always say, these past generation has robbed us of everything morals, sound education, social facilities, they even made away with our innocence.
Most of these individual account protagonists are only acting based on what their own parents marital experiences have taught them. Imagine a child that grew up with a single mother whoose husband made away with the families savings and relocated to another planet with a younger lady.
Which oracle will convince such a child to trust a man completely ?
The effect philandering fathers have on the psyche of their young children is quite hazardous to the success of such childrens future marriages.
Another reason is GREED. most ladies are waaaaayyyyy too greedy. They'd have calculated that by having a joint account the financial responsibilities would have been succesfully shared into two which negates their afro-centric idea of the man being the sole provider in the home.
ofcourse, when the man turns around to act the real afro-centrism by being polygamous they begin to quote the bible.
I am booting out my present girl friend soon. I would have done it today but she is writing her exams and so I'll just play along till she finishes her exams.
Her fault, she doesn't think it's a wise decision to keep joint accounts. You mean you will expect me to place my life in your hands by eating your food, sleeping on the bed you lay, wearing the clothes you pick for me , spending all my money on our family and you think money will be an issue ?
If money will become an issue then maybe I need to start looking for somebody who can love me enough not to bother how I spend our money while still trusting me enough to spend it wisely.
.
.
.
..
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.
now that getting a man to marry in naija is as hard as getting a job Neeeeeexxxxtttt!!!!
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.
.
.
.
.
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.
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okay , sorry for the long post. I have been working since morning and just needed to let out some steam. lemme get back to work now.

Guitarlife: @jide i know you get my drift. Those excuses about surprise bash are just cheap rationalisations and we both know. See I have no problem with people even hiding their age from their spouses but don't go all out saying it's the norm. Such a toxic information could damage the good mentality a young lady approaching marriage should have. That is the reason most marriages never make it past the first few years. Most people have been fed with toxic information about marriage and they enter into it with a deafetist and unhealtny defensive mindset. Anihillating all chances of survival that marriage could have had in the process.

Guitarlife: I know the sincere ones will agree with me that although keeping a separate account may be the reality it's not the ideal choice. Why do you think you are given a certificate when you marry ? Do you think if the priest had factored in divorce they'd go ahead and join you ? Like people are now coming out now to admit, the major reason is a lack of trust and anticipation of future separation thus a need to secure ones future in the aftermath of a bitter divorce. All other excuses are just cosmetic. It's a shame but as we have noticed it's rampant and that's the time we live in now. Laaawd help me as I hunt for a new girlfriend.

damiso:

And vice versa too i.e a girl who insists that she must manage all your resources.

Thanks ... splendid post

If women have been used to controlling men' s resources, why dont i control a little also
TiTT for TaTT

Setting for both i.e avin ur personal acct and a joint one for family expenses seems 2 b wat majority av agreed on so far, but i tink one account will suffer dan d oda, most likely 2b d joint one. cos each individual will b afta enriching his/her own personal acct.

guitarlife as brot anoda dimension 2 dis thread, but i tink he is only fytin for d interest of d masculine folks, btw dont dump ur GF because of joint account issue, wats courtship for, u can tlk tins out....

biolabee: You are a daniel.. when they say marriages on NL are perfect for mouth sake....

10000 Likes!!!

Men: My money:our money

Women: My money:MY MONEY

B you see I wanted to leave you on this one but your cho cho cho is really e-disturbing.

When I said my hubby is custom made and specially made for moi - he is and the best thing that has ever happened to me and we shared thesame values and affection, <= all those are NOT relevant with money.

Only a hungry mongrel from a broke background will be poking his hungry red eyes in other people's earning , as long as I play my part in the finances and whatnots, he really doesn't care what I do with the rest and we both lavish ourselves and kids with gifts too. There's MORE to a marriage than MONEY!

So you and your likes ( they know themselves) always spewing 'NL perfect marriage' is very condescending , I honestly don't know what y'all problem is the fact that we love our spouses and do baby talks here or cos y'all don't have??, why don't you leave NL housewives alone and face your green monter eyes front! you know I go talk!



#Jumps in the shower