Me I would break up with the guy o. But then some women don't mind having a cheat for a husband.

So she wants someone to tell her it is okay to marry a cheating liar. Then she will come here and start lamentation threads in a few years. Tell her to marry him and move all his girlfriends in too so that way she can keep track of all of them easily

Some women are really ok with a cheating man. Some think they are until they are married and they experience heart wounds anytime their husband hooks up with the next chick and when the husband finds an entertaining woman out there they may suffer for the next few years before the extra marital affair dries up. Many women are programmed from childhood to believe its ok if a man cheats as long as he takes care of the family financially. Some men cheat because they believe its their right if they can afford it. Some men don't even know who they are so they wander from one woman to the next even after marriage. Many men are equally programmed to see cheating as ok and expect their wives to endure, after all their mothers endured. And they blame the young girls out there who wear bum shorts and short skirts and smile at them or the wife who is stressed out and is not putting it out as often as they like.

She may the type of woman who can handle a cheating man.

I will advise your sister to run for her life. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. My hubby before we married behave like your sis fiance. They will never tell the other women that they have a serious relationship. My hubby never told any of them that he had somebody. When I got to know, he started deleting calls and chats logs with the girls. As am talking to you now, he still communicates with some of them and there additional new ones that he says they are just friends. To before warn is to before armed. I live every day with so much heartache n I look back and said I should have known better. There will always be trust issues my dear. Tomorrow the man will tell your sis that he has done so much for her and what else does she want.

goodheart4God: I will advise your sister to run for her life. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. My hubby before we married behave like your sis fiance. They will never tell the other women that they have a serious relationship. My hubby never told any of them that he had somebody. When I got to know, he started deleting calls and chats logs with the girls. As am talking to you now, he still communicates with some of them and there additional new ones that he says they are just friends. To before warn is to before armed. I live every day with so much heartache n I look back and said I should have known better. There will always be trust issues my dear. Tomorrow the man will tell your sis that he has done so much for her and what else does she want.

Thanks for sharing this post! The bolded is classic!

Nolongthing1: Don't mind all this embittered Old lady without marriage experience talking , you can see the man loves your sister that he buys everything in her name he cares and all ,he doesn't abuse her the only thing here which is really not a problem is that the guy just wants to have a feel of what it feels before getting hitched, nothing more the guy is a good man.

aaah!a guy dat is saying on national television that i live to f++k!
Al those gift is to buy her silence!
After their weddng nit.he wil brng women on their & ba?g hardcore.e.g witney houston & bobby brown
babe run 4 your life!

Your sister has to manage, you know she won't cancel the wedding...

What made her attract a philandering man?

andromida: Some women are really ok with a cheating man. Some think they are until they are married and they experience heart wounds anytime their husband hooks up with the next chick and when the husband finds an entertaining woman out there they may suffer for the next few years before the extra marital affair dries up. Many women are programmed from childhood to believe its ok if a man cheats as long as he takes care of the family financially. Some men cheat because they believe its their right if they can afford it. Some men don't even know who they are so they wander from one woman to the next even after marriage. Many men are equally programmed to see cheating as ok and expect their wives to endure, after all their mothers endured. And they blame the young girls out there who wear bum shorts and short skirts and smile at them or the wife who is stressed out and is not putting it out as often as they like.

She may the type of woman who can handle a cheating man.

Andromida is very on point.

Funny enough the guy sounds like me.
OP,
I beg to disgree with everyone here. Yes, it is almost clear that the guy is likely to cheat on your sis when they are finally married as people are saying. But, I doubt that the guy will do so.
My reasons are this:
A caring and loving guy, who does everything to show his girl that she is the one, and have gone a step further to do the introduction knows what he wants. That guy may have been hurt severally by other girls in the past. So he decides to put his "would be wife to a severe test" (I am not saying it is right). But the aim of the test may be to see if your sis will take a walk or start a fling.
Some of us 'good guys' have really been broken to the extent that we won't mind going all out to do things that is not in our nature.
Let me ask a question,
"apart from the chat messages, has your sister ever caught this guy with another lady?"
"Does your sister see tale tale signs of other ladies personal effects in the guys house?
I have been caught in the act of having all these kinds of chats with other ladies, but my girl didn't take a walk even though she is as mad as hell. (Now that is the kind of girl I am looking for, someone who has come to stay)
Last Bullet:
That guy maybe the best for your sis. Or she could cancel the wedding and another who will overlook all these childishness, will take her place. (I am not condoning infidelity).

soul_glo: So she wants someone to tell her it is okay to marry a cheating liar. Then she will come here and start lamentation threads in a few years. Tell her to marry him and move all his girlfriends in too so that way she can keep track of all of them easily

I have seen a philanderer in his youth marry, and be content with only his wife.
Somethings can turn a very good guy to a flirt. It takes a strong and committed woman to bring him back to his original self, to re-format his brain cells so to speak.

Efemena_xy:

Efe, why art thou shocked? She's right!
Many are subconsciously programmed that it's ok for a man to cheat; that it's in the nature of a man to cheat and the woman own to accept it.

@Andromida, the reason why women are programmed to "manage" a cheating man is that many women see being single as a horrible thing. Hence, it's better to be with an abuser and cheater than be single.

Singleness still holds a negative stigma in Nigerian society.

Abali1:
I have seen a philanderer in his youth marry, and be content with only his wife.
Somethings can turn a very good guy to a flirt. It takes a strong and committed woman to bring him back to his original self, to re-format his brain cells so to speak.

And why should a 'strong' woman bother with bringing an obviously irresponsible boy back to his original self?

Why should she have to be laboured with the very dirty work of re-formatting his immature brain cells?

If the guy isn't ready to commit to one woman, then he obviously isn't ready to get married! Let him continue to sow his wild oats as a single man to his heart's content. Then and only then should he even consider marriage afterwards! Marriage is meant to be a life long commitment to your spouse, to be enjoyed and not endured by both parties.

No one deserves to be driven to an early grave from high blood pressure.

obowunmi: @Andromida, the reason why women are programmed to "manage" a cheating man is that many women see being single as a horrible thing. Hence, it's better to be with an abuser and cheater than be single.

Singleness still holds a negative stigma in Nigerian society.

I'd rather be a very happy miss, than an unhappy Mrs.

Who cares about societal expectation? If I marry the wrong person, will society remain in that marriage with me? Would society help carry my pain?

ferhyntorlah:

Efe, why art thou shocked? She's right!
Many are subconsciously programmed that it's ok for a man to cheat; that it's in the nature of a man to cheat and the woman own to accept it.

Only for the very f00lish ones with no self-esteem, and who also see marriage as the ultimate goal in life.

Mtcheew!

Not hissing at you jare, but at the mindset of these people. Haven't they got strong role models in their lives? Why bother going to school in the first place? eh?

chaircover:

Hopefully someone will listen and learn

My dear, I pray that your husband desists from this hurtful and dangerous behavior. Amen

Aunty CC I pray too that one day he desist from his dangerous behavior. That is if he sees that what he does is wrong. Because to him, the unreasonable one is me. I am the one reading meaning to the friendship, because there is nothing wrong in keeping single girls as friends.

Abali1: Funny enough the guy sounds like me.
OP,
I beg to disgree with everyone here. Yes, it is almost clear that the guy is likely to cheat on your sis when they are finally married as people are saying. But, I doubt that the guy will do so.
My reasons are this:
A caring and loving guy, who does everything to show his girl that she is the one, and have gone a step further to do the introduction knows what he wants. That guy may have been hurt severally by other girls in the past. So he decides to put his "would be wife to a severe test" (I am not saying it is right). But the aim of the test may be to see if your sis will take a walk or start a fling.
Some of us 'good guys' have really been broken to the extent that we won't mind going all out to do things that is not in our nature.
Let me ask a question,
"apart from the chat messages, has your sister ever caught this guy with another lady?"
"Does your sister see tale tale signs of other ladies personal effects in the guys house?
I have been caught in the act of having all these kinds of chats with other ladies, but my girl didn't take a walk even though she is as mad as hell. (Now that is the kind of girl I am looking for, someone who has come to stay)
Last Bullet:
That guy maybe the best for your sis. Or she could cancel the wedding and another who will overlook all these childishness, will take her place. (I am not condoning infidelity).

This is no excuse for picking up bad behavior that outrightly disrespect your woman. So you think women haven't been hurt? So why can't some of them start chatting with single guys and delete? Let me ask you a simple question. If the table was turned and it was your girlfriend behaving this way, would you marry her? Candid answer please without deceit. Why do we want others to condone what we can't condone ourselves.

Efemena_xy:

And why should a 'strong' woman bother with bringing an obviously irresponsible boy back to his original self?

Why should she have to be laboured with the very dirty work of re-formatting his immature brain cells?

If the guy isn't ready to commit to one woman, then he obviously isn't ready to get married! Let him continue to sow his wild oats as a single man to his heart's content. Then and only then should he even consider marriage afterwards! Marriage is meant to be a life long commitment to your spouse, to be enjoyed and not endured by both parties.

No one deserves to be driven to an early grave from high blood pressure.

Num 1 bolded)
Like I said earlier she can decide to keep Faith till the end (Life is a Risk). Or she could cancel the wedding and take walk, there is a lady out there that will keep the Faith and stick with this guy to the end. (Remember, he has shown that whatever happens he is ready to wife her. Things are bought in her name)
Num 2 bolded.)
We have to date before we can find someone that suits our nature.
Last Bullet:
Some of us good guys have dated and stuck to one woman being Faithful, Caring and Loving with the intention of taking her to the alter. But alas, they come up with all sort of reasons why it won't work.
When you have wasted years being faithful (as a single guy) in more than 3 or 4 relationships, you got to change your style definitely. Moreover, the females around you don't help mush, (sisters, cousins, family friends) as they keep telling to keep your options open as long as you are still single, cos girls cannot be trusted.
Last Bullet:
If you keep doing the same thing over and over again and keep getting same result, won't you change your method and still keep your nature (Caring and Loving)
Moreover, all his philandering could just be online, and BBM. Who knows?

goodheart4God:

This is no excuse for picking up bad behavior that outrightly disrespect your woman. So you think women haven't been hurt? So why can't some of them start chatting with single guys and delete? Let me ask you a simple question. If the table was turned and it was your girlfriend behaving this way, would you marry her? Candid answer please without deceit. Why do we want others to condone what we can't condone ourselves.

You won't believe the indiginity some of us have to put up with, when we see the Ladies that we want.
.An Ex- have once called me to seek advice on how to go about winning the guy she wants (I was still dating her then). I gave her the advice she wants, it didn't work out and she came back to me. (I only abstained from indulging in s,ex with her from then on)
. A cousin once dumped her Loving and Caring but not well to do boyfriend and married another. The marriage crashed within a Year, and the cousin is presently married to the first Loving and Caring but not well to do guy. They have two kids now.
. A female cousin walked out on the guy willing to marry her, last year. The same female cousin has been pleading for the past four months for the guy she claimed not to love to take her back.
. Another Ex, whom I had something serious going on with walked out of a serious relationship, when I thought I have found the one. 2 months later sh came back and I took her in. She then repeated the process of walking out again and I barred her finally. She has been pleading all this while. But this time my NO is final (Meanwhile a good lady is by the side waiting for me).
NB
I can go on and on about these type of things. But I will only say that, when you find a good woman or man be prayerful that you do not lose him or her because of all the "advice" you getting about how a PERFECT MAN OR WOMAN should be.

goodheart4God:

Aunty CC I pray too that one day he desist from his dangerous behavior. That is if he sees that what he does is wrong. Because to him, the unreasonable one is me. I am the one reading meaning to the friendship, because there is nothing wrong in keeping single girls as friends.

Enough said.

Nashville:

Thanks for sharing this post! The bolded is classic!

I wish she listens.

Abali1: Funny enough the guy sounds like me.
OP,
I beg to disgree with everyone here. Yes, it is almost clear that the guy is likely to cheat on your sis when they are finally married as people are saying. But, I doubt that the guy will do so.
My reasons are this:
A caring and loving guy, who does everything to show his girl that she is the one, and have gone a step further to do the introduction knows what he wants. That guy may have been hurt severally by other girls in the past. So he decides to put his "would be wife to a severe test" (I am not saying it is right). But the aim of the test may be to see if your sis will take a walk or start a fling.
Some of us 'good guys' have really been broken to the extent that we won't mind going all out to do things that is not in our nature.
Let me ask a question,
"apart from the chat messages, has your sister ever caught this guy with another lady?"
"Does your sister see tale tale signs of other ladies personal effects in the guys house?
I have been caught in the act of having all these kinds of chats with other ladies, but my girl didn't take a walk even though she is as mad as hell. (Now that is the kind of girl I am looking for, someone who has come to stay)
Last Bullet:
That guy maybe the best for your sis. Or she could cancel the wedding and another who will overlook all these childishness, will take her place. (I am not condoning infidelity).

u said the ffg;
+he may av suffered numerous heart breaks.
THAT MAY BE TRU BUT WHAT ABOUT THE WOMAN SHE TOO HAS GON TRU SO MANY,u dnt want to ask a women how many tines u had s£x /hw many bf u knew(u wil die 4 nothin)
+he is just putting her thro test.WHAT KIND OF TEST(TO KNOW IF SHE WIL ACCEPT INFEDILITY!)

+is theiv any evidence he has cheated physicaly
ACCORDING TO OP.THEY WERE FREE WIT EACH OTHER(THERE WAS NO EXISTENCE THIS BEHAVIOUR IN HIM)
noooow!month to wedding vows HE HAS CHANGED PAROLE.HE IS NO LONGER FREE WIT INFORMATION,NOW SHE ned PERMISION B4 SHE CAN USE ORDINARY PHONE (DEM NEVA MARRY O)ONLY 4 HER TO FIND OUT IT IS BECOZ OF PLENTY WOMEN WEY DEY 4 LINE(AND HE TELS DEM HE IS SINGLE)
THE QUESTION IS DIS?HOW DO U ARRANGE 'SHORT TIME'IS IT NOT BY PHONE.DO U TINK HE WIL ALLOW THE WOMAN TO KNOW THE DAY/PLACE/HOUR
as long as the CONTACTS are there,arranging s£xcapades is a smal tin.
+he performs duties to his fiance.
AV U TOT THIS.HE IS DOING THIS JUST TO KEEP HER QUIET AND JUSTIFY HIS INFIDELITY

chaircover:


The man is holding onto all these women because he wants to and I am yet to see a man who just wakes up the next morning after the wedding (or even woman) and totally changes what he/she has been doing all along before the wedding.

Aunty CC
Assuming this lets go off all these other 'phone' ladies and OP's sister decides to dump him, what do you then advice the young man to do?
Cos I had a similar experience, only for my cousin sisters to be telling me, "Abali you Trust too much"

Just woke up! What's the summary! Them still dey do the wedding

goodheart4God:

Aunty CC I pray too that one day he desist from his dangerous behavior. That is if he sees that what he does is wrong. Because to him, the unreasonable one is me. I am the one reading meaning to the friendship, because there is nothing wrong in keeping single girls as friends.

meen!what happens if there was role revesal.wil the man permit it!

baralatie:
u said the ffg; +he may av suffered numerous heart breaks.

Yes, the woman may have suffered heart breaks. But, I am playing the devil advocate in this, siding the man.

baralatie:
+he is just putting her thro test.WHAT KIND OF TEST(TO KNOW IF SHE WIL ACCEPT INFEDILITY!)

To know if she will take a walk, like the others at the slightest sign of trouble, or as a result of advice (like the ones being given here).

baralatie:

+is theiv any evidence he has cheated physicaly ACCORDING TO OP.THEY WERE FREE WIT EACH OTHER(THERE WAS NO EXISTENCE THIS BEHAVIOUR IN HIM) noooow!month to wedding vows HE HAS CHANGED PAROLE.HE IS NO LONGER FREE WIT INFORMATION,NOW SHE ned PERMISION B4 SHE CAN USE ORDINARY PHONE (DEM NEVA MARRY O)ONLY 4 HER TO FIND OUT IT IS BECOZ OF PLENTY WOMEN WEY DEY 4 LINE(AND HE TELS DEM HE IS SINGLE)

He also told her that he doesn't want her to get hurt, because he is chatting raw with his guys(yes he lied, but to protect her becares HE CARES AND LOVES HER).
But women will always be women, she cracked his password and got hurt. Now that she is hurt, her sister or her is seeking advice here, that may further hurt her and her relationships.

baralatie:

HOW DO U ARRANGE 'SHORT TIME'IS IT NOT BY PHONE.DO U TINK HE WIL ALLOW THE WOMAN TO KNOW THE DAY/ PLACE/HOUR as long as the CONTACTS are there,arranging s£xcapades is a smal tin.

Or he may not even think along those lines. He could be chatting and flirting with those ladies only online.
Has the OP, any physical evidence of his cheating apart from chats?

baralatie:

+he performs duties to his fiance. AV U TOT THIS.HE IS DOING THIS JUST TO KEEP HER QUIET AND JUSTIFY HIS INFIDELITY

Have you equally thought of this;
That he performs this duties solely because he Truely Loves and Cares for his Lady. If it were just to keep her quite, he will be physically sleeping with those ladies and Fiancee would have caught him in the act.
NB
Women often times like 'PLAY BOYS' and sometimes we got to act like Play Boys to get what we desire, even if we are not truely playing.

Chillisauce: Just woke up! What's the summary! Them still dey do the wedding

You wan make them call off before? Abi you don arrange the 'Perfect guy' for OP sister (abi na OP self.)

Abali1:
You wan make them call off before? Abi you don arrange the 'Perfect guy' for OP sister (abi na OP self.)

I no no na, maybe the guy has decided to open up and thrash those girls na .

ferhyntorlah:

Efe, why art thou shocked? She's right!
Many are subconsciously programmed that it's ok for a man to cheat; that it's in the nature of a man to cheat and the woman own to accept it.

Abali1: Funny enough the guy sounds like me.
OP,
I beg to disgree with everyone here. Yes, it is almost clear that the guy is likely to cheat on your sis when they are finally married as people are saying. But, I doubt that the guy will do so.
My reasons are this:
A caring and loving guy, who does everything to show his girl that she is the one, and have gone a step further to do the introduction knows what he wants. That guy may have been hurt severally by other girls in the past. So he decides to put his "would be wife to a severe test" (I am not saying it is right). But the aim of the test may be to see if your sis will take a walk or start a fling.
Some of us 'good guys' have really been broken to the extent that we won't mind going all out to do things that is not in our nature.
Let me ask a question,
"apart from the chat messages, has your sister ever caught this guy with another lady?"
"Does your sister see tale tale signs of other ladies personal effects in the guys house?
I have been caught in the act of having all these kinds of chats with other ladies, but my girl didn't take a walk even though she is as mad as hell. (Now that is the kind of girl I am looking for, someone who has come to stay)
Last Bullet:
That guy maybe the best for your sis. Or she could cancel the wedding and another who will overlook all these childishness, will take her place. (I am not condoning infidelity).

obowunmi: Your sister has to manage, you know she won't cancel the wedding...

What made her attract a philandering man?

I agree with Feryintolah that many ladies are brought up to think it is ok for men to cheat. I have just read posts from Abali and Obowunmi explaining why a girl should manage a cheating boyfriend. Well people like Abali and Obowunmi would have sisters and the sisters would believe the same thing because they are from the same source. Infact these two gentlemen - Abali and Obowunmi - may just be describing what their parents have told them and what their sisters/aunties have gone through. So they are somewhat surprised that another girl is dating a cheating guy and she is thinking of leaving.

To Feryintolah's point, we still have a lot to do in this society. Many women still believe that as long a a guy is fulfilling his financial obligations, then he can do anything he wants even in a relationship. If you find that guys like Abali and Obowunmi exist who believe it is ok for guys to cheat, then girls like that exist because they will have sisters who believe the same thing. No amount of talk can change their perspective because they see many girls believing the same thing and accepting a cheating guy.

But this same Obowunmi in another thread was complaining that he was heartbroken because some of the girls he dated were only after his money and were probably cheating on him too. My questions is that should that not be ok. If it is ok for you to cheat on a girl, why is it wrong for her to cheat on you ror chop your money?