tensor777:
I am not sure why you keep quoting me. What's done is done. What is the way forward? You say divorce or annulment. I am saying a trial separation coupled counselling, prayers and fasting. That is all.
Meanwhile STOP quoting me.

And if I refuse? You'll slap me maybe..ogbeni clear well. I can quote whoever I want

Lightening:

You have won the argument since. Neither am i seeking appologies from one random dude I will never meet. I only advised you to watch your manners. Goodday.

Clear road jare! Apologetics!

let her be caught fucking another man.simple end to a bad marriage.

Waitoooo! does it mean dis lady no get brothers wen go arrange dis weakling of a dude?

COOLDUN: My dear your story is so touchy, I honestly sympathize with your sister for marrying another woman’s husband, because if he is her husband he wouldn’t have had the strength to raise his hands on her.

Both you, your sister and family should not be blamed for this, the whole blame should go to LOVE who is always blind and so misleading.
I don’t care to know the reason of their quarrel, but only concerned of the beating, no man in his right sense should raise a hand on his wife for any reason.

The two options you have to call off the marriage are these, go to the customary court/keep your sister to your house and force you’re in laws to collect their bride price or forfeit it because he has been sleeping with your sister.

The rate of India Hemp smokers and Drug abusers we have in our society today is alarming, when a hungry man finishes smoking Hemp he would go and lure an innocent girl into love/marriage, when he is tired of the girl after destroying her freshness with his condemned oil, he will resort into beating her to force her out of his home, so that he should go for another innocent prey.

Or you save sufficient amount of money for your sister’s funeral, but then do not expect my condolence ok.

The life of your sister is far better than marriage my dear, focus on the safety of your sister now than her next marriage. Marriage is not do or die.
A living ugliest village Mgbeke is far better than a dead beauty queen. Save your sister’s life now, or expect condolence messages soon.

A Woman/wife beater can never change but graduates from hand beating to weapon beating. God don’t make a wrong marriage to workout, because he created every woman her own husband. Thank you.

Regardless of whatever his wife must have done, He should just sit down and be looking like mumu? Do u even care to hear out the husbands side of the story? Hypocritical fellow!

Since its an igbo marriage.
Simple.
The middleman with one or two elders should return the money and whatever that is needed to be returned.
Don't u guys have kingsmen?
Its their duty to do the needful.
Not a court thing at all.

Traditionally, that's the kinmens job but if they were also wedded at a court. They still need to annul/file for divorce because valid court marriage still means that the marriage is still in place in the eyes of society.

@op, since your sister doesn't have kids or anything tying her Down, she has huge chances of resettling. I'm sure she moved on fine. What's the current update?

GeneralShepherd:


Religious delusion at its peak,God cannot change an abuser!

I should say, God cannot change anyone unless they first want to change.

jaytime:
Annulment should not be the last option just yet. Let her pray to God to intervene and change her husband. There is nothing God can not do. I'm sure she loved the guy that's why she married him in the first place. You never can tell, there might more to the husband's abusive nature than meets the eye. Bottom line: Let her PUSH - Pray Untill Something Happens.

so that she will die there

tojos:
I need your advice on how to effectively annul the traditional marriage between my
sister and her abusive husband.
My sister had been living with him for five months but had to flee her matrimonial home because of her husband incessant battering that has left her bruised physically and emotionally.
On several occasion, our family and that of her husband had to intervene and cautioned the husband for him to change his ways but to no avail.
The last straw was when my sister lost her only pregnancy as a result of his beatings by which we had to advise her to leave the marriage.
My family had made several attempts to return the bride-price to our in-laws which they refused, requesting for a reconciliation between the two. We also turned down their request because my sister is too terrified to go back to the marriage, fearing for her life.
Since our in-laws had refused to collect the bride-price what are the other options or procedures one should take to annul an ibo traditional marriage. Though this will lead to divorce, I think the best option is for my sister to leave the marriage and look for better life elsewhere rather than become a victim of domestic abuse (I love my sister so dearly and I've always wished her the best in life)
Secondly, will my sister have any chance to remarry by the time this is over? Pls, to anyone that have had such an experience, I need your advice. God bless you all as you contribute.

That bride price was a tricky commitment to pin a woman down to a man all in the name of marriage

If the man refuses to accept it, that means she is not free

Anyway, let her get back herself first

Your family can still meet the husband's kindred and table the matter to them and your stand to pull out of marriage

If it doesn't work, hold on it won't be long he will get another woman and that will be a good time to return the bride price to him

She should focus on getting her happiness back

Some mens behavior towards women makes me wonder if those that takes care of their wives are from another planet

standfirm:
.

Dis is absolutely d right tin 2 do and mind u tell ur sister nt 2 remarry until d bride price has been returned or else any child she conceive outside automatically belongs 2 d first husband (standard traditional law). Igbo tradition is rich dats y I advice my brothers 2 always come home.

the woman might even be lying to her family why the Man have been beating her ooh. No matter what the husband is supposed to bear with her, then try to understand her because if the woman die in his hands as a result of the beatings trouble for him.

Now look here tojos you all need to slow down and take it easy. Why the unseemly haste If you are really a man as your moniker suggests you would realise that emotional decisions taken at the heat of the moment are never the best.
Think coldly and logically about the scenario unfolding before your eyes.
What has she done to the man to provoke the man into physically dealing with her even at this very early stage into their marriage? What did he find out about her?
That is what you lot need to iron out. Otherwise the cycle could even repeat itself at her next marriage if there is one.

correct

patpaul:
Your story is really pathetic but wait a minute. Do you find out how your sister is behaving with this man? you said your sister is a nice woman, i agree, but didn't she date this man for sometime before they got married? i ask this question because my marriage is just a year and 6 months and if not for God and the fact that i am a widower with 2 boys, i would have sent her packing even the first month after marriage. For some women, their mouth is their undoing. I do not condone BATTERING THOUGH, but some women's mouth need to be locked for them to have a good marriage.

correct

jaytime:
Annulment should not be the last option just yet. Let her pray to God to intervene and change her husband. There is nothing God can not do. I'm sure she loved the guy that's why she married him in the first place. You never can tell, there might more to the husband's abusive nature than meets the eye. Bottom line: Let her PUSH - Pray Untill Something Happens.

If she dies from the husband beating, will you say because she didn't pray

tojos:
I need your advice on how to effectively annul the traditional marriage between my
sister and her abusive husband.
My sister had been living with him for five months but had to flee her matrimonial home because of her husband incessant battering that has left her bruised physically and emotionally.
On several occasion, our family and that of her husband had to intervene and cautioned the husband for him to change his ways but to no avail.
The last straw was when my sister lost her only pregnancy as a result of his beatings by which we had to advise her to leave the marriage.
My family had made several attempts to return the bride-price to our in-laws which they refused, requesting for a reconciliation between the two. We also turned down their request because my sister is too terrified to go back to the marriage, fearing for her life.
Since our in-laws had refused to collect the bride-price what are the other options or procedures one should take to annul an ibo traditional marriage. Though this will lead to divorce, I think the best option is for my sister to leave the marriage and look for better life elsewhere rather than become a victim of domestic abuse (I love my sister so dearly and I've always wished her the best in life)
Secondly, will my sister have any chance to remarry by the time this is over? Pls, to anyone that have had such an experience, I need your advice. God bless you all as you contribute.

Get a lawyer involved !!!
Under NO condition should you allow your sister GO BACK .
Better a divorce than an untimely death.

I personally would open a file with the police , a restraining order. Documenting all that has transpired .
You and your sister and family sound amazing . Very few families would ever consider returning the bride price . The term bride price should be changed , it makes then man feel like the woman’s a piece of property.