ATMC: so many habits you've got, which do i pardon and which should i unpardon

obadiah777: hehe. pardon them all. thats the charitable thing to do

Tgirl4real: Please join us

https://www.nairaland.com/1529958/cohabitation-recipe-successful-marriage-live#19764674

obadiah777: this for family people mayne

obadiah777: yeah and i am nelson mandela

Tgirl4real:


Yes na. Are you not a family man?

Ishilove:
seriously, I'm not a fan of suya

Tgirl4real:


Yes na. Are you not a family man?

obadiah777: lol truth be told my attention span is not strong enough for those una debates. one person writes like 100 or so lines of things that i dont find edifying to my soul. and then you have like 10 or so people writing 100 or so lines lol. oh boy dat one na too much reading now. i will give it a shot but ermmmm lets see sha

Ishilove:
Nigerians don't like reading and you are a typical Nigerian

According to The Concise Oxford Dictionary, the term cohabit means: To live together, especially as husband and wife without being married to one another.1

Despite the fact that society today is a lot more progressive than how it was a couple of decades ago, many people still hold fast the belief that cohabitation is wrong. While I can and do respect their moral and religious objections to living together pre-marriage, I firmly believe that couples who cohabit pre-marriage are much more likely to stay together for the long haul, thereby proving that cohabitation is indeed a recipe for a successful marriage.

Good Evening Judges, co-debaters, and viewers. Based on the above premises, I will therefore be supporting the argument that cohabitation is a recipe for a successful marriage for the following reasons:

Eliminating the surprise factor: We all know, that even couples who spend their every waking moment together, don't know the ins and outs of living with each other. Say for example, bathroom practices, cleaning routines, and personal habits are just some of the factors which while seemingly insignificant, can and do add up after marriage. Getting used to each others' idiosyncrasies - and more importantly, deciding whether you can live with them – is very important to a lasting marriage.

Avenue for relieving undue stress: Yes, getting married on its own is stressful enough, but add to that the pressure of moving and becoming acquainted with a new environment and all the nuances associated with settling in is well and truly enough to make one snap. It’s a common occurrence to see couples who’ve waited until after marriage to live together, and this in itself has taken a toll on many marriages. Marriage should be a time of bliss, not a time of angst. Living together first can help ensure it is by preparing intending couples of what is to come.

Encourages authentic discussion of life goals: Saying you want kids in the future is one thing, but figuring out your collective financial situation and ideas for how and where you'll raise children is quite another. A lot of couples make assumptions but the fact remains that many of these people don't know what it’s really like, to share expenses and plan for the future until they've done it. Projecting or better still, extemporizing on such serious topics doesn't come close to the real thing. Couples who disagree about how this should be done benefit from getting it all out in the open, ironing their differences before making that all-important life commitment to one another. Cohabitating first, affords this opportunity2.

As was common a few decades ago, cohabitation, a once a loathed practice, before marriage, has become a more common and more acceptable trend among couples. I sincerely believe that living together first has the power to help a couple decide if marriage is right for them by eliminating the potential for divorce and ultimately paving the way for a lasting marriage down the line.

Financial Benefits: Moving in together can often be with motivation to make a monetary saving. Two single people living alone pay two separate sets of bills, rent or mortgage and general living costs. Living with a partner you are enjoying a relationship with can be an attractive prospect when the impact it would have on monthly expenses is considered. Usually one partner would move into the home of the other partner. This could mean just one rent payment or mortgage payment a month, or if both partners own their own properties, one could rent out their property thus formulating another source of income. Individuals may also be able to save money that they spent during dating, on fuel and phone bills.

Opportunity to learn about your spouse’s attitude towards responsibility: As well as the general living habits of your partner, cohabitation can allow you an insight into your partner’s sense of responsibility. If two people have totally different views and attitudes towards the level of responsibility one should uphold in general day-to-day life, this can have a significant bearing of the success of the relationship. For example, if one partner who is meticulous about paying household bills on time, he or she may have trouble comprehending or accepting a relaxed attitude from their partner. Cohabitation thus provides spouses with the chance to realize these differences and make a decision on whether or not they can live with these before marriage.

Freedom to easily leave: Having grown to know the person you are in a relationship with, you come to realize whether or not this is the long term relationship that you want to continue in, and more importantly, if it’s right for you. Cohabiting couples have the freedom to leave at any point without the rigmarole or stress of a messy divorce.

An excellent compatibility testing tool: Cohabiting with a partner pre-marriage provides a sneak peek into what your life of wedded bliss will look like (or not). You’ll both be able to observe what the other does in the privacy of his/her own home, learn about each other’s quirks, practice keeping the romance alive while juggling a busy life, and see how well you’re able to get back to compatibility when there are challenges.

It is important to state at this point that cohabitation is different from dating. It should be looked upon as the next step or ‘advancement’ of dating. When cohabiting, you learn to share a lot of things, you become more aware of your partner’s shortcomings, their faults and annoying habits. If the differences are too much for reconciliation, acceptance or overcoming, then it’s a whole lot easier to split up as opposed to when the dotted lines of a legally binding and contractual document have been signed.

Finally, I am of the opinion that many couples, out of respect for the institution of marriage decide to cohabite before taking the plunge. It’s not uncommon to hear forward-thinking cohabitating partners utter words as: “I never want to get divorced, so it’s important to me to make sure we can really work together before going through with a wedding.” 4 “Working things out” should happen before you vow to spend the rest of your life with someone, and what better way to do it than through cohabitation?

REFERENCES

1. The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Current English, Eight Edition, Edited by R.E. Allen ISBN 0-19-861243-5 (thumb index) , Oxford University Press, New York, Reprinted 2013.

2. http://www.cohabitation-agreement.co.uk/article8.html

3. Laura Sauer, A Mother's Perspective: Living Together Before Marriage is a Must, Yahoo Contributor Network, 2nd April, 2012.

4. Francesca Di meglio, About.com – People, Relationships And Newly weds: Should You Live Together Before Marriage?
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obadiah777: for example this is copied and pasted from the debate lol. dayummmm and this is the shortest post there i think hehe

Ishilove:
What da?!? Shortest ke?

Aw helllll no!! I can't be readin' all these if I won't get paid!

Ishilove:
What da?!? Shortest ke?

Aw helllll no!! I can't be readin' all these if I won't get paid!

Tgirl4real:

lol

As if you didn't when you were a judge on one of the debates.

Don't mind Obadiah jare. His brain generally shuts down when the post is too long.

obadiah777: for example this is copied and pasted from the debate lol. dayummmm and this is the shortest post there i think hehe

obadiah777: Tgirl why not move it to frontpage ? it could get exciting

Mr President: Comet Ison comes closest to the sun tomorrow 28th November 2013 and this day also happens to be the American thanksgiving day. Is it a coincidence (lol), are we in for something really spectacular?
Good evening family, I greet you all

NerdyInterests: El Presidente, Paddy mi toh badt. Hailings!

This Comet Ison of a comet, abeg enlighten me. Is it one of the signs of the imminent annihilation or watagwan?

obadiah777: hailings Nerdy

NerdyInterests:

Sup, sire. What's good with ya? Time to drop another mind-blowing exegesis, chief. What say ye?