.

The fact that he said he won't change is a cause for concern.
Anger issues are not easy to deal with but at least he should show some willingness to deal with it rather than just saying that it's his nature.
It is very likely that he grew up that way and nobody confronted him with his bad behaviour.
You need to tread carefully because you risk spending your life with someone who will frequently hurt you emotional and maybe physically due to his anger tantrums.

Try to make him see that his behaviour is not good for your relationship.
He should at least be ready to do something about his problem. He should not feel that dealing with his anger issues makes him less of a man. It is for his own good.
We all have things we need to deal with in our lives at one point or the other.

I'm like that but trying very hard to stop it.Most times when you are angry, all you think of is how to hurt the person who hurt you, with mean words.

If he says he can't change then you need to think about the future and decide to leave or stay.

anthoniaz:
I'm like that but trying very hard to stop it.Most times when you are angry, all you think of is how to hurt the person who hurt you, with mean words.
If he says he can't change then you need to think about the future and decide to leave or stay.

He should learn to control his anger or you walk out.
Tomorrow is either you become a mouse and shut the fvck up or he might transfer the anger into boxing, or even butchering you.

This is how it starts. For you to be consciously aware of it and its bothering you, its not something you wave off like that.

Learn to take a walk when you feel threatened, its not everything that can be fix, definitely not all human.

But im sure, you will creep back and swallow all.
Just watch your back

@Chili
It's not easy leaving a relationship and starting afresh.

But a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

I assure you I won't creep back this time.
He has said he won't come begging again like he use to.
And I thank God for that.

^^^Not easy leaving a relationship and starting afresh.That is what a lot of girls said until they married.Looking back now,they wish they had quit.

There are certain issues we all deal with.However for someone to say anger is his nature and he won't change is a bad thing.It's anger mixed with arrogance.
He's hurting you emotionally now but it could turn to physical abuse later.

Tell him you want a break while he works on his anger.

.

Is that how he speaks to Mopol or Soilders when he is angry?
Is that how he speaks to his boss when he is angry?
Is that how he speaks to his landlord?
Is that how he speaks to his pastor when he is angry?

Dont we all get angry?
I wouldnt mind so much if he said that he knows that he has a problem and he is trying very hard to deal with it and asks for your support and encouragement . . .. but to tell you that he cant change!!!!!

Yes I know its not easy to break a long standing relatiobnship . . ..but undertand that a marriage is supposed to last longer than any other long standing relatiobship that you may have
Think about it . . . .
The women who are treated like queens and the utmost respect by their partners dont have 2 heads
Why cant you strive for the best? . . . unless of course you dont have anythng to offer and therefore you settle for second or third best
You geting me?
All the best.

chaircover:
Is that how he speaks to Mopol or Soilders when he is angry?
Is that how he speaks to his boss when he is angry?
Is that how he speaks to his landlord?
Is that how he speaks to his pastor when he is angry?

Dont we all get angry?
I wouldnt mind so much if he said that he knows that he has a problem and he is trying very hard to deal with it and asks for your support and encouragement . . .. but to tell you that he cant change!!!!!

Yes I know its not easy to break a long standing relatiobnship . . ..but undertand that a marriage is supposed to last longer than any other long standing relatiobship that you may have
Think about it . . . .
The women who are treated like queens and the utmost respect by their partners dont have 2 heads
Why cant you strive for the best? . . . unless of course you dont have anythng to offer and therefore you settle for second or third best
You geting me?
All the best.

MOST SENSIBLE POST OF THE YEAR

Thanks a lot you all.

@ chaircover

I have a lot to offer I assure you.Both financially and otherwise.

Excerpt from eleojo23's comment:

The fact that he said he won't change is a cause for concern.

The fact that he said he won't change is a cause for concern.

The fact that he said he won't change is a cause for concern.

The fact that he said he won't change is a cause for concern.

The fact that he said he won't change is a cause for concern.

I had to do this to make you realise you are about to enter into LIFE IMPRISONMENT if you EVER open your mouth to say YES to his marriage proposal.

RED FLAG SHOWING CLEARLY

Chair cover has said it ALL.

Another excerpt I took from thorpido's comment:

However for someone to say anger is his nature and he won't change is a bad thing. lt's anger mixed with arrogance.

My thoughts exactly. Dude has got anger issue and the annoying thing is, he is using pride to justify it.

RUN DEARIE, RUUUUUUUUUUUN!

stylesco:
Goodmorning All

I'm not in the habit of sharing my problems online but I just want to be sure I'm doing the right thing.

I crave your indulgences.

I know they say no one is perfect, that's why I'm asking the married folks in here if maybe I'm asking for too much.

My boyfriend is the best person to be with when he's not angry.
He's very caring,loving and generous.

But when he's angry, he finds it very difficult to control it.
He talks to me with so much disrespect.

Most times he apologise afterwards.

Recently he did same again and I said I've had enough why say terrible things to me just because you are angry.

And he thinks being angry justifies it and I should deal with it or walk if I want to.
That that's who he is and he won't apologise for it neither will he change.

Honestly I don't know if I'll be doing the right thing if I leave.

I'm I asking for too much from him?

Girl take a walk and don't look back. There are no duplicates in life.

And while you're at it, learn to love yourself. A man will only treat you the way you portray yourself to be treated. Stop making excuses and move on with living, not existing.

stylesco:
Goodmorning All

I'm not in the habit of sharing my problems online but I just want to be sure I'm doing the right thing.

I crave your indulgences.

I know they say no one is perfect, that's why I'm asking the married folks in here if maybe I'm asking for too much.

My boyfriend is the best person to be with when he's not angry.
He's very caring,loving and generous.

But when he's angry, he finds it very difficult to control it.
He talks to me with so much disrespect.

Most times he apologise afterwards.

Recently he did same again and I said I've had enough why say terrible things to me just because you are angry.

And he thinks being angry justifies it and I should deal with it or walk if I want to.
That that's who he is and he won't apologise for it neither will he change.

Honestly I don't know if I'll be doing the right thing if I leave.

I'm I asking for too much from him?

Yes you are making a mistake!

It should be "Am I making a mistake?" Not "I'm I making a mistake?" Gerrit?


You are also making a mistake by bringing this problem online. Half of the people giving advice aren't even married!


People say nasty things when they are angry!The idea is to hurt that person as much as possible at that point in time. It is a stoopid thing to do because words once spoken can never be taken back!

However some folks are very forgiving. If you can accommodate this kind of person and understand he didn't really mean to hurt you, then go ahead with the relationship. But if you can't handle it...! Heh! If you cant handle it then run oooo!!! Before the person becomes your permanent mate!

The question on everybody's mind here is...Does he hit you?? If he does...sista...RUNNNNN like Usman bolt or is it Hussein bolt? Run fast oh before you and the dentist become good friends!(unless you don't mind violence in your relationship...some women are kinkkky that way...its a free wold )

Ayyaf tuk ma owhn!

Good to know you are moving on. Anytime anything makes you want to look back just remember the effect of these words down the years 'deal with it or you walk' being repeated whenever you point to a flaw that can be corrected.

Op,he can control it..

He's just misbehaving because you allowed him..

No man can disrespect you,except you allowed him..

Don't take rubbish from him,if need be,give him space till he realizes his mistakes,and shortcoming.

Talking from experience.

Free the guy joor.can't say more.

No body is perfect, the issue is can you live wiht it.
What gets him angry, how do you react when he is angry?

Yea well, I LEFT and I'm happy I did.

My own even said he would change, swearing with anything you can think of, yet he no change, let alone someone who said arrogantly that he won't change.

How can someone tell you they won't change from their bad ways and you are asking if you should stay?

The way I see it, everybody has their share of cr.ap and sh.it and there's no denying that. However, a relationship and ultimately marriage, is about deciding whose sh.it you can take! If you can deal with all he dishes out and still come out smelling like roses, that's all fine and good but if you use your tongue to count your teeth and it sums up to more than the standard 32, you probably might be setting yourself up for "biting more than you can chew" or taking on more than you can deal with. Check am...