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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Please I Need Help. (3742 Views)
Re: Please I Need Help. by schmilez: 9:11pm On May 08, 2015 |
udz: U didn't read it well.I answered him.saying nothing Stood up to wash my face.came back to the bedroom told him welcome and asked him what he wanted me to prepare for him |
Re: Please I Need Help. by Nobody: 9:17pm On May 08, 2015 |
udz:didn't you see where she said she replied? ? Besides, her husband doesn't like being disturbed while asleep but went ahead to disturb her yl she was asleep. .. ![]() |
Re: Please I Need Help. by thorpido(m): 9:24pm On May 08, 2015 |
schmilez:Does he have an alfa or elderly muslim man he respects and can listen to? Is your husband's family polygamous? Sorry about the questions,just trying to understand your hubby's mindset. |
Re: Please I Need Help. by udz: 9:48pm On May 08, 2015 |
schmilez: ok dear, but call ur hubby. He is not superman, he is waiting for ur call. |
Re: Please I Need Help. by Nobody: 10:04pm On May 08, 2015 |
Your husband may not or may take years to mature, however you should be hopeful and prayerful about this. You can only manage the now. Understand who your husband is first, know he is immature and be the mature one, cut your expectations from him to prevent your heart from getting sick because he has little or nothing to offer husband wise atleast for now, lastly focus more on your kid and other things that gives you joy. Use your feminine sixth sense to always predict his actions so that you can avoid some of his drama and so that you can proof yourself against his insults. I know its not easy with a love one, but try to know that the type of thing that will make him say silly, eediot etc not let it bother you. If you know that he wont eat when angry, dont waste food. When you feel like ignoring him do it too and if you choose to break the silence, do it because you want to and not necessarily to please him. The above will give you peace knowing that no matter his tantrums, you wont be bothered and you will be on top. During the times he is happy, give him books,materials on how to be a better husband. You can go ahead and call him now, atleast this is his first in this manner but start with a step, you can perfect the suggestions above. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please I Need Help. by kukuruku156(f): 10:08pm On May 08, 2015 |
My sister I think you should call him. With as little emotion as possible just ask how he is doing and if everything is okay where he is. He is throwing tantrums but you be the bigger person for now. I really empathize with you as I can't begin to imagine the emotional turmoil you're going through. When he returns look for a time when he isn't in a foul mood to still talk to him. As someone suggested, maybe an Imam or Alfa he respects can be confided in to help talk to him. |
Re: Please I Need Help. by cococandy(f): 10:23pm On May 08, 2015 |
Anger management is not all he needs. People with bad temper tend to flare up uncontrollably but then calm down later. He's emotionally abusive. 2 Likes |
Re: Please I Need Help. by bukatyne(f): 11:40pm On May 08, 2015 |
@OP: 1. Call him: for safety and future purposes. 2. Get a grip on yourself. You weeping all about the house is annoying and will trigger his taunting more. . By now, you know What ticks him off so get used to it and stop crying about at everything he does * Do not take his abuse anymore. If he asks questions, answer. If you have issues, still make food. If he doesn't eat, leave him be. He is not a baby who you force feed. Start training him on What you will accept and What you will not. 3. Get something doing If you are not working. If he doesn't want you to work and you are not inclined to push it, get a hobby; read novels; Google current films etc. Travel out of your home with your mind. 4. You are working, also save a lot 5. Stop blocking his way or other stunts... one day, he might knock you out senseless, like the feeling and continue 6. Commit everything to God in prayers. I have a feeling you married him because he was rich aka caring without getting to know him in-depth. It would be huge to pull off from gentleman to This. Goodluck. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please I Need Help. by nyafunyafu: 11:50pm On May 08, 2015 |
chiefinalowo:Why should a responsible husband travel without informing the wife? ![]() ![]() ![]() I can't understand why someone cannot feel free and breathe fresh air in their marriage with a man you share your bodies? Hmm your man needs some tough love for him to out grow some of these childish acts. Hope you are still on top of your game as taking care of yourself both physically, career wise etc. May God give you wisdom to know how to handle this situation. In conclusion. Just call to satisfy your curiosity that at least he is ok. 3 Likes |
Re: Please I Need Help. by Nobody: 4:57am On May 09, 2015 |
yeees , with his behavior he is emotionally abusive . was thinking something along the lines of him being emotionally manipulative but dat might fall under "emotionally abusive" cococandy: |
Re: Please I Need Help. by schmilez: 6:44am On May 09, 2015 |
thorpido:Like I said the only person he seems to have a little respect for is his dad. No his family is not polygamous.he actually lost his mom a few years ago and his father refused to remarry. |
Re: Please I Need Help. by schmilez: 6:53am On May 09, 2015 |
nyafunyafu:Thanks dear.yes oh I still am I do say so myself.people don't believe I have a kid self and in my glory days in university I was the queen of my department for two consecutive sessions so I know say I fine small at least I have a job even though am on leave now. |
Re: Please I Need Help. by thorpido(m): 8:19am On May 09, 2015 |
schmilez:Okay,have you called him? It seems his parents indulged him while growing up and it's gonna be hard turning into a gentleman now.You have to give him some tough love from now on.Don't indulge him with too much begging and crying.You have to get a grip on yourself. See what Bukatyne wrote. |
Re: Please I Need Help. by schmilez: 8:42am On May 09, 2015 |
thorpido:Thanks a lot.I have called him.asked him where he was,he told me and cut the line |
Re: Please I Need Help. by schmilez: 8:44am On May 09, 2015 |
bukatyne:Thank you very much.really appreciate your input.Will try and do what you say.God bless you |
Re: Please I Need Help. by thorpido(m): 9:25am On May 09, 2015 |
schmilez:That's good enough.Now go and buy ice cream if you like that or chocolate or shawarma and get in front of the television to watch your favourite Tv station.Make yourself have some fun around the house. 2 Likes |
Re: Please I Need Help. by bukatyne(f): 9:35am On May 09, 2015 |
schmilez: Amen and you too Goodluck |
Re: Please I Need Help. by edwife(f): 9:46am On May 09, 2015 |
Floodgater: 2 Likes |
Re: Please I Need Help. by Nobody: 9:48am On May 09, 2015 |
@ Schmilez: Your husband sounds psychotic. Was he forced to marry you? Was he like this during courtship? 2 Likes |
Re: Please I Need Help. by Nobody: 9:52am On May 09, 2015 |
bukatyne:The part in bold nearly knocked me out. BeeKay, who have you been listening to. You dey improve o. ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Please I Need Help. by bukatyne(f): 10:06am On May 09, 2015 |
Timbuktou: Improve from What to What? 1 Like |
Re: Please I Need Help. by Nobody: 10:11am On May 09, 2015 |
An abusive man. Characteristics of a man that has a woman out there. The next thing is telling u he is getting another wife. So why r u crying? Is crying going to make things better? Wipe ur tears and ask for wisdom on what steps to follow to secure ur future and that of ur child. And yep,dont ever let him see ur weakness again. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Please I Need Help. by Nobody: 10:23am On May 09, 2015 |
bukatyne:Improved in your general worldview. ![]() |
Re: Please I Need Help. by bukatyne(f): 10:26am On May 09, 2015 |
Timbuktou: We grow daily and I 100% doubt you knew anything about my world view in the first place. Anyways, Thank you for the compliment. ![]() |
Re: Please I Need Help. by Nobody: 10:29am On May 09, 2015 |
bukatyne:Yes, we indeed do grow daily. But how could I know 0% of your worldview when you're constatntly posting on nairaland. I might not know everything about how you see life, but I'm sure it's greater than 0%. You're welcome, ma'am. 1 Like |
Re: Please I Need Help. by YourCoffin: 11:32am On May 09, 2015 |
OP, I'm afraid I'm too conversant with this kind of scenario to know you're saying half truth here. You're too saint-like in this your painting and I doubt that the only thing you said was God will judge him. Although I wouldn't be giving any advice, I detest half truths. 1 Like |
Re: Please I Need Help. by Starieangel(f): 12:22pm On May 09, 2015 |
If only sum husbands can realise dat the beginin and ending of deir blessings is wif deir wives....dey can b babies @tyms no doubt,bt annoying too!pls op,am a married woman too......call ur husband.....dnt giv d devil wot he wnts.....a wise woman builds her home,a foolish one destroys it.....go to God in prayer.....report him to ur maker and nt d whole world.....the strenght of a woman shudnt b underestimated dou.....he's ur first child......u shud no wot makes him tick!takia 1 Like |
Re: Please I Need Help. by pickabeau1: 2:23pm On May 09, 2015 |
OP This story is incomplete You have not even told us what your own imperfections are... 1 Like |
Re: Please I Need Help. by freecocoa(f): 2:39pm On May 09, 2015 |
pickabeau1:Which kind talk be that one? Whatever her imperfections, is the man's behavior the best way to go about it? 3 Likes |
Re: Please I Need Help. by bukatyne(f): 2:45pm On May 09, 2015 |
Timbuktou: If you knew anything about my worldview via my posts, the bolded would not have been a surprise time you.... The opposite would have been. |
Re: Please I Need Help. by pickabeau1: 3:06pm On May 09, 2015 |
freecocoa: So a one sided story is enough for you to judge OK... |
Re: Please I Need Help. by schmilez: 3:39pm On May 09, 2015 |
thorpido: Lols.thanks |
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