*Toyinrayo:

I think it's perfectly his right to know what's going on and the dangers he's prolly in (or getting into).
Only a selfish woman would think only of herself in this situation, inconsiderate of who it'll also affect.
Yes yes, she loves him and doesn't want to lose him. But what kinda love is that.
If she can't tell the closest person to her, what is the possibility of her telling an outsider (criminologist/police)?

A boyfriend tht's  infected with HIV from a girl that knew she could have possibly contacted the virus, has all rights to sue her.
It's like she intentionally gave it to him.  It doesn't have to be cruel to be a crime 

this a tough one. here why i think so. lets assume the woman let off all the self blames and finally tells her partner, the man might not be sympathetic towards her (some men are disgusted at the idea of their gf being raped) and she might she lose him which will even add to the guilt. and lets assume again she didn't tell him( due to some personal reasons) and maybe she gave him std or worst, in some pple might consider it betrayal.

really confusing, it just seem like the woman have to bear all the things

~Sissy~:

this a tough one. here why i think so. lets assume the woman let off all the self blames and finally tells her partner, the man might not be sympathetic towards her (some men are disgusted at the idea of their gf being raped) and she might she lose him which will even add to the guilt. and lets assume again she didn't tell him( due to some personal reasons) and maybe she gave him std or worst, in some pple might consider it betrayal.

really confusing, it just seem like the woman have to bear all the things

If she has any tangible reason not to tell him, then I'd suggest she talk to a close family member. If she can't, she can always anonymously talk to a person on the HOTLINE.

But during that process, she should get herself checked for STDs.
No matter how one tries to hide it, a psychological disorder (from rape or childhood trauma or etc) will always show up when least expected. He(her husband) will soon find out from the way she reacts to his touch and sexual moves.

*Toyinrayo:

If she has any tangible reason not to tell him, then I'd suggest she talk to a close family member. If she can't, she can always anonymously talk to a person on the HOTLINE.

But during that process, she should get herself checked for STDs.
No matter how one tries to hide it, a psychological disorder (from rape or childhood trauma or etc) will always show up when least expected. He(her husband) will soon find out from the way she reacts to his touch and sexual moves.

yea, you r right.

Train your child in the way of the LORD.

Train your child in the way of the LORD.

Cure:

Train your child in the way of the LORD.

we already know that anything else

my son has a penchant for tearing up books . he takes them from the bookshelf, throws them everywhere, tears some i am beginning to get seriously pissed

at this rate, by the time he can read, there won't be any books left

Oyb,

is that the pix of somewhere in your house  ? a mini library, the shelf is low so why not play
i think you should pack up those books. get a box and pack them for now. don't leave books where he can see them (that's what my aunt does). buy hard kids book those ones with hard plastic covers on each page for him. they are hard to tear.

oyb:

my son has a penchant for tearing up books . he takes them from the bookshelf, throws them everywhere, tears some i am beginning to get seriously pissed

at this rate, by the time he can read, there won't be any books left

rotflmao. . . .I like your son already.

Dealing with same problem here. DVDs ni o, papers ni o, anything he can get his hands on, he'll start throwing.

I've tried spanking , I've tried pointing to what he did wrong and scowling him, but still won't work

What you can do is buy another Shelf that's too tall for him to reach. or lock your library.

*Hauwa*:

Oyb,

is that the pix of somewhere in your house ? a mini library, the shelf is low so why not play
i think you should pack up those books. get a box and pack them for now. don't leave books where he can see them (that's what my aunt does). buy hard kids book those ones with hard plastic covers on each page for him. they are hard to tear.

cheiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, OYB even has a Bible?

Wonders

Silk, where is the bible there? that huge 'KING'?


oyb better not touch that boy, leave him alone, it is best they explore. pack your books! elsewhere

*Hauwa*:

Silk, where is the bible there? that huge 'KING'?


oyb better not touch that boy, leave him alone, it is best they explore. pack your books! elsewhere

LOL, that's a bible right?

LOL, I think I discovered a new secret: Beating them makes them more rebellious

LOL, Silk hehehe

It could be abt Martin Lurther King now 

we already know that anything else



If youwant to know more, it may need you subscribing for e-book tittled "SMART PARENTIG"(Raising Happy and Responsible Childrenin the 21st Century).

*Hauwa*:

LOL, Silk hehehe

It could be abt Martin Lurther King now

Not likely

I say, one of these days, I'll witness Oyb converted to Christianity

@oyb
chei see all the books u have. . .did i remember to tell u u're my new best friend?(i see u got unbanned. . .how wwe go wash am?)

@y'all the king is prolly stephen king. . .the horror dude!

@toyinrayo
see my house, can u see me waving from the window just below the split unit?

its the telling them to leave that mommie and daddy have things to do part!

as per scowling bit. . .children can tell when u're really vexing(its in the eyes) what u're s'posed to do is be serious not fake! (bush gel!)

now on to business

thought abt the rape question b4 and i dont know what i'd do o! i jst hope the person means enuff to me for me to put the whole issue behind me(i know it wont be easy)but the key is being willing!

that house is funny

@ oyb

try what the ladies here suggested. have a big and taller bookshelf and if possible lock it so he wouldn't be able to scatter it

@ Everyone

Would you ever send your unruly child to a boot camp?

your child misbehaves all the time. no amount your discipline seem to enter him, flogging, spanking, privileges etc are all in vain. everyone complains about him/her (including the teacher). you are tired of dealing with him/her and the only option you see as your only savior is a boot camp, would you do it?

yes, why?

no why?

maybe/not sure why?

netotse:

@toyinrayo
see my house, can u see me waving from the window just below the split unit?

its the telling them to leave that mommie and daddy have things to do part!

as per scowling bit. . .children can tell when u're really vexing(its in the eyes) what u're s'posed to do is be serious not fake! (bush gel!)

now on to business

thought abt the rape question b4 and i dont know what i'd do o! i jst hope the person means enuff to me for me to put the whole issue behind me(i know it wont be easy)but the key is being willing!

Lol, you're not serious at all I can see you waving and blowing kisses So plz, stop am

But sometimes when I'm scowling, I can't help but to smile/laugh. Kids do the craziest stuff.

Well, I don't blame you if you can't deal with the rape issue. Nobody can deal with it.
But at the same time, don't leave the person right after the event, but try to comfort her.

~Sissy~:

@ Everyone

Would you ever send your unruly child to a boot camp?

your child misbehaves all the time. no amount your discipline seem to enter him, flogging, spanking, privileges etc are all in vain. everyone complains about him/her (including the teacher). you are tired of dealing with him/her and the only option you see as your only savior is a boot camp, would you do it?

yes, why?

no why?

maybe/not sure why?

Would I?

Yes I would. I wouldn't even hesitate. Loving my child does not mean I have to allow him/her to misbehave and eventually ruin his life.

Childhood is where it all begins. If affirmative action is not taken, what's to change them when they grow up?

Loving them is discipling them to become the better of tomor.

But ofcourse, I'd check up on him in boot camp and make sure he's okay. If positive results begins to show up, then I'd withdraw him from boot camp. Simple!

kind of scared about those camps

~Sissy~:

kind of scared about those camps

What scares you?

*Toyinrayo:

What scares you?

those military like structures they use there and it is usually a hostile environment. and i feel like it doesn't solve anything especially behavior like problems and they are usually short term(like 30days) so i believe that the short term of it is not long enough to make lasting changes in them. and they do not have long-term follow up nor support that is needed for troubled teens and parents. a teen who is hostile will only learn that that the louder you scream, the more action you will get. i rather try other alternatives

~Sissy~:

those military like structures they use there and it is usually a hostile environment. and i feel like it doesn't solve anything especially behavior like problems and they are usually short term(like 30days) so i believe that the short term of it is not long enough to make lasting changes in them. and they do not have long-term follow up nor support that is needed for troubled teens and parents. a teen who is hostile will only learn that that the louder you scream, the more action you will get. i rather try other alternatives

Trust me, if you add Nigerian spice with the boot camp, it might work.

Ok, so what other alternatives do you have?

I will try the behavior based and family focused counselling this one is more one on one, personal growth is developed which i think is better that the "YES SIR" every time of the boot camps things   i like the family-centered programs.

boot camps to me is just too aggressive and don't work and if I'm sending my teen there to deal with issues i don't think more aggressiveness is going to help

i will only allow them to go to boot camp if only they are entering the military

~Sissy~:

I will try the behavior based and family focused counselling this one is more one on one, personal growth is developed which i think is better that the "YES SIR" every time of the boot camps things i like the family-centered programs.

boot camps to me is just too aggressive and don't work and if I'm sending my teen there to deal with issues i don't think more aggressiveness is going to help

i will only allow them to go to boot camp if only they are entering the military

Hmmm, good point. Aggression does not solve anything.

But a child who continues to misbehave after so many counsellings and talking to nko?

Abeg, let him learn the hard life in boot camp and come come back to the luxurious life at home. Let him know the advantages he has.

*Toyinrayo:

Hmmm, good point. Aggression does not solve anything.

But a child who continues to misbehave after so many counsellings and talking to nko?

Abeg, let him learn the hard life in boot camp and come come back to the luxurious life at home. Let him know the advantages he has.

if after the FCP and he/her doesn't seem to change i will get him/her screened for ADHD so i know where i stand. but no matter what i wouldnt still send them to the boot camp. i don't think that confrontational approach to teen problems is inappropriate. i think that BC fail to model the pro-social behavior and development of empathy that struggling teens really need to learn.i think dont they are effective in getting to the root of the teen's problem and fixing it over a longer period of time.

~Sissy~:

if after the FCP and he/her doesn't seem to change i will get him/her screened for ADHD so i know where i stand. but no matter what i wouldnt still send them to the boot camp. i don't think that confrontational approach to teen problems is inappropriate. i think that BC fail to model the pro-social behavior and development of empathy that struggling teens really need to learn.i think dont they are effective in getting to the root of the teen's problem and fixing it over a longer period of time.

ADHD, ah ahn, that's going too far.
Teens just want to be rebellious, they want to be adults. . . .

I think the teaching and molding should start at a young age so we don't have to witness their rebellions.

Would I still send her to boot camp? Yes, better than sending her to Nigeria

maybe if you find a good boarding school in 9ja you will have a change of mind?

~Sissy~:

maybe if you find a good boarding school in 9ja you will have a change of mind?

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh suicide!!!

*Toyinrayo:

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh suicide!!!

wetin happen, you dont like the idea why?

~Sissy~:

wetin happen, you dont like the idea why?

Naija boarding schools?

I think not. And I don't think I'd take it with my kid thousands of miles from me

Naija boarding school sucks. I've heard stories on NL and from my cousins at home

*Toyinrayo:

Naija boarding schools?

I think not. And I don't think I'd take it with my kid thousands of miles from me

Naija boarding school sucks. I've heard stories on NL and from my cousins at home 

haba nah . .  not all of them the ones i went to were super good, 

~Sissy~:

haba nah . . not all of them, the ones i went to were super good

How was the one you went to?

Sanitary?
Food?
Bathroom?
Education?
etc