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Am I An Evil Person? by ideyhere(f): 10:41pm On Oct 11, 2015 |
My elder sister is scheduled to get married in a couple of weeks. Initially I was quite ecstatic with the whole news and arrangements and all. One day she was to visit the husband in their family house and we packed her bags and all. The guy came and after staying and all, he now said (in his exact words) LET US GO TO OUR HOUSE. That was when it dawned on me that she now had another house. That realization really gave me the chills I must confess. The other day she still had to go spend some time in their family house, even without the guy being around...and she was very happy about it. I began to wonder how she could be happy leaving us that she had always known as family to this newly found family of hers. Wedding preparations are at its peak now...and seeing as I really don't have money to support them (just straight out of school), I felt the much I could offer are ideas. My sister keeps complaining that I only pitch in ideas that are worth so much naira...that do I want them to go broke after the wedding. I just want her to have the best...and with the way she's sounding, I started feeling like she's already seeing me as the outsider...choosing him over me. Unconsciously I developed a grudge against the guy, after all if he hadn't come into the picture, we wouldn't be planning any wedding, and things would still be as they were...perfect. Am I an insanely wicked person for feeling this way? Or is this a perfectly normal feeling?? Something that will disappear with time |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by shamack: 10:45pm On Oct 11, 2015 |
Free her,,,u need to understand the fact that she is a woman And most ladies misbehave to their ppl because of their man Just because they knw u will forgive dem 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by crackhaus: 10:50pm On Oct 11, 2015 |
You come off as someone who thinks everything should be about her. I don't know about you being an evil person, but you're pretty much a selfish person going by your writeup. 20 Likes |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by Luckymay(f): 11:00pm On Oct 11, 2015 |
Its pretty normal to feel jealous. But having a grudge on the guy, dats a serious one. U need to loosen up and embrace the situation. U guys re no more kids, u too will marry someday. As for the planning, let them be. 5 Likes |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by Pineapp: 11:14pm On Oct 11, 2015 |
You are plainly jealous,in your mind you are wishing it were you.. 11 Likes |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by An0nimus: 11:20pm On Oct 11, 2015 |
Developing a grudge against the guy IMO is petty. Life happens ma'am. Siblings you played in the sand with will one day be miles away with families of theirs, high school best friends will be far away some having great careers and families too. You can't develop a grudge everytime this happens. Support your sis the best way you can. One day it will get to your turn too. 13 Likes |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by Nobody: 11:23pm On Oct 11, 2015 |
One painful realisation we must all come to at some point is that life is a series of separations. Only a husband and wife are meant to stay together forever; every other person finds their way. The best they can do is keep in touch, and keep the love burning. 11 Likes |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by cococandy(f): 11:29pm On Oct 11, 2015 |
You're gonna get over it. Just scared of losing the bond you have with you sis. It happens but life goes on. 8 Likes |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by tpiander: 11:31pm On Oct 11, 2015 |
ideyhere: perfect meaning you want your sister to remain single indefinitely? that's a strange definition of perfect used to describe grown adults. 5 Likes |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by tpiander: 11:33pm On Oct 11, 2015 |
btw I think you're supposed to be spending some time finding your own suitor instead of following your sister about. 6 Likes |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by ideyhere(f): 11:48pm On Oct 11, 2015 |
tpiander: I guess you're right...I'm being really silly here |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by tpiander: 11:49pm On Oct 11, 2015 |
I've modified the comment. I guess you were waiting for my post. |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by ideyhere(f): 11:58pm On Oct 11, 2015 |
Pineapp: This is one thing I'm very sure it is not.. |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by tpiander: 12:49am On Oct 12, 2015 |
^ your thread title and op are not normal. do you or your family have some taboos which involve people not marrying? |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by Pidggin(f): 1:07am On Oct 12, 2015 |
ideyhere: You're not wicked, this is quite normal if you two were close. Realize that your relationship with your sister may never be the same again, it all depends on how you both handle it. Give her some space, she will be the one looking for you again to discurse in-law palava 4 Likes |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by Nobody: 1:52am On Oct 12, 2015 |
ideyhere: Nah, its normal when you're close like that. I remember being incredibly devastated most of the times one of my siblings would move out and away. Especially, when the last of my siblings (my closest brother) left home, and I was the last one standing - holy shyt, that hurtt, lol. Then of course, the folks start to hone in you with the tenacity of a bulldog since you're only one there to worry about, 'til you eventually squirm your way out too. There's really no need to worry, though. IME, not much will change between you. I've found it to be relatively similar to the way it was at home. If you were super close, you'll continue to stay close and keep in touch. If you tended to constantly butt heads and didn't understand each other, you'll love each other from a healthy distance. Suggestion: Open a groupchat. We have a several in our family. One with just my sisters, one with everybody, etc. 4 Likes |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by TooNoisy(f): 6:37am On Oct 12, 2015 |
You are immature in my opinion at least. You are straight out of school. Didn't u have a boyfriend in school? At least you must have friends that had boyfriends. We're you jealous of their boyfriends too? 1 Like |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by dominique(f): 7:07am On Oct 12, 2015 |
It's a phase, you'll get through with time. Your parents will also be having cold feet about separating from your sister but they wouldn't want to show it. 1 Like |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by nnamdiosu(m): 7:09am On Oct 12, 2015 |
ideyhere: ideyhere: sweet heart its perfectly normal. there is nothing evil about you ( although I believe its a little beyond the edge) you see......we all feel emotions like this wen our loved ones that we've known for life seem to prefer outsiders to us. Infact most parents on handing their daughters out feel like that secretly.....however you need to check ur self ( immaturity is the main cause from wat I see) BE GENUINELY HAPPY FOR HER. ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU CANT LEAVE WITH HER FOREVER..... YOU TOO WILL ONE DAY HAVE YOUR OWN HUSBAND WHO WILL TAKE YOU TOO AWAY FROM OTHERS. SEE YOUR BROTHER IN LAW AS A BIG BROTHER. DON'T LET IMMATURITY AND INSECURITY Rob u of something sweet. flow with the CHANGE. THE PAIN AND CONFUSION will pass AWAY ONE DAY AND YOULL be laughing at urself for being silly. ciao 2 Likes |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by Kimoni: 9:15am On Oct 12, 2015 |
cococandy: how can you answer this If your twin sister was on NL, she would be in the best position to counsel the OP. If I had my way, all twins esp females would marry same day. Too strong a bond to be broken overnight It must have been mixed feelings for her on your day right? - happy for you but sad to lose her most trusted confidant @OP - sorry I am not feeling you personally I was very happy when my elder sisters were getting married oo even though they didn't really know the true reason Meant less errands, more peace, more space, more everything inshort I am way down the ladder amongst my siblings but I was finally going to be in charge 3 Likes |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by Nobody: 9:28am On Oct 12, 2015 |
You are not wicked at all. You are a loving sister and you are aware of the approaching farewell, which makes you sad and probably anxious. Goodbyes can be very painful so I perfectly understand your feelings but now, you need to focus on what you will gain instead of on what you will lose. Your sister is starting her own family now and you can consciously decide to focus on this happiness instead of making a drama out of it. This is the way life goes. We all move out of our parents' home sooner or later but this does not mean that we lose our families. In fact, we will learn that no matter how outer circumstances change, they will always be our family and we learn to value the bond even more. In the next few days, months and years your sister will need you more, not less. Bring positive energy into the whole thing and your sister and you will become even closer. 1 Like |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by cococandy(f): 10:10am On Oct 12, 2015 |
I know how she felt when I left. So I kind of feel the OP on a personal level. But now she's all bubbly and we chat all the time like I didn't even leave Kimoni: 2 Likes |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by Kimoni: 10:13am On Oct 12, 2015 |
cococandy: Awwww I can imagine Happy she has moved on. My luv to her 1 Like |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by Nobody: 10:14am On Oct 12, 2015 |
@ Kimoni You lived an opposite outcome. My siblings leaving meant MORE work for me, and more expectations too. |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by Kimoni: 10:15am On Oct 12, 2015 |
EnlightenedSoul: how naa |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by Nobody: 10:17am On Oct 12, 2015 |
Kimoni: I'm jelly, lol. All the stuff they were doing fell to my shoulders. I was living THE LIFE before they left, without even knowing it |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by Kimoni: 10:22am On Oct 12, 2015 |
EnlightenedSoul: Hahahahha..okay I get it now Me I was happy to take charge abeg I would have to be consulted now in all decision making Asides that, my sisters can send you on errand for Africa...very annoying Then I had the whole room to myself me I was happy o 3 Likes |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by edwife(f): 10:46am On Oct 12, 2015 |
Kimoni: Same experience i had.Over happy sef.We are very close,9 of us but seeing my siblings getting married one after the other was christmas for me.... . Truth is i was seeing them as often as i wanted,but i just didn't want to.Freedom at last... |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by Kimoni: 11:06am On Oct 12, 2015 |
edwife: you feeling me babes |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by edwife(f): 11:16am On Oct 12, 2015 |
3 Likes |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by troy20(m): 1:47pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
from the perspective of ya brother inlaw...you have to be evil. |
Re: Am I An Evil Person? by yvelch(f): 4:44pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
U are jealous.....that shows some traits of wickedness. She is getting married. How is remaining wit u better than that? |
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