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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Advice Urgently Needed! (43449 Views)
Pls I Need Advice... Urgently / Help!!! My Girlfriend And My Sister Are Enemies... I Need Advice Urgently / She Visited And Now Very Sick, How Do I Send Her Back? I Need Advice Urgently (2) (3) (4)
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Advice Urgently Needed! by Olayinka8793(m): 1:42pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
Good day nairalanders, my name is Yinka and am also a twin. I have an issue bothering me and wished to post it here openly in the hope that I will get useful advice/opinion. This post may seem long and therefore turn off those who hate long epistles but pls endeavour to read it as your advice/opinion might be beneficial to me. I have thought of creating an alternative moniker to post this or at least lied that the problem is been faced by one of my friend and so he needs your advice like some pretentious nairalanders do, but decided to be bold enough and be real since this is just an online forum. Sorry for digressing, now to the koko of the matter,I am 22 years old, will be 23 next January, earning a decent salary working as a hair stylist in a large unisex saloon, I have hearing loss as in total deafness though I could speak fluently, was not born deaf but an accident caused it while I was in primary school, the story of how I became deaf is one for another day, but with sheer determination and faith and Gods Grace I managed to complete both primary and secondary schooling but gave up on going further as I have no believe I could survive higher school. My deafness affected me in very many ways, physiologicaly and emotionally and almost daily, but I hardly allow myself brood over it for a long time, the worst I have done was to cry in secret on more than four occasion for having such a terrible disability. Ok well, my deafness affected my relationship with the opposite sex so much such that I have never had a girl friend meaning am still a virgin, though I relieve myself of what nairalanders called Konji by doing controlled mas2bation when I feel like, I could have used Oloshos to relieve myself but I considered them as dirty people and can't imagine losing my virginity to a prostitute. I have tried summoning confidence to toast gals but our conversation is usually very short and not impressive due to the fact I don't know how to prolong such conversations and most of the ideas I saw online hardly applied to such conversation involving a person like me wit hearing loss. I communicate like a normal person by lip reading(hope u know what that is), though not always an effective means of communication but I had no other choice as my parents and me hated the idea of me learning sign language and they vehemently resisted those who suggested it when the deafness problem started.The only problem I have with lip reading was that whenever I don't understand what the other person was saying, I would indicate and ask him to repeat but if it persist I ask him or her to write it with the finger and you will agree with me that such inconvenience might be a big turn of when trying to talk to a stranger like a beautiful gal I admired. There is this girl I admired that works as a sales girl in my aunt's pharmacy shop, she frequently passed in front of our saloon and have started having feelings for her, fortunately she know I have hearing loss and also knew I am a nephew to her boss and sometimes greets me when passing by like "boda taye",lol and I had just waved and answer "bawo ni", ordinarily I should not have problem toasting her but the fear of my deafness disappointing me and the fact I don't know anything to say that could make the toasting successfull apart from, what is your name, I want to marry you, where do you live, can I have your number, can I take you out on a date next Sunday? Bla bla bla.lol Also there is the problem I usually encounter with young gals, when I told them I want to marry you, they be like "omo kekere ni mi" meaning am a small girl and I be like how old are you, but can we just be friends bla bla bla, any suggestion to how to properly deal with such response will be appreciated in case the gal I planned to toast say such(she looks 19+). It is not like she is out of my class or too beautiful, no no no not at all, even my twin sister is more classier. Thanks for reading this far, I know this might seem like an unusual problem but I believe you will have one or two ideas/opinions which I might find useful in other to overcome my deafness and win over this gal. I have no intention of using and dumping her, just date her with the hope of finding her compatible for marriage when the time comes and lastly to relieve myself of Konji the natural way after having gained her trust and affection. Modified. E be like say I want more opinions, oya CC: lalasticlala abeg do the needful. 140 Likes 17 Shares |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by donTbone(m): 1:44pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
WOOPS! ![]() My opinion is this... be yourself and never do to impress ladies, the one who truly loves you will come. Mind you, there might be a surgery for the hearing probs. Your focus should be on that for now! 93 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by DiegoNakel(m): 2:02pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
Bro I feel your pain tho. You could start be writing a love letter to her making her know your intentions towards her. Pour out your mind in the letter, don't be shy. We can't say she also might have personal likeness for you. 68 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by Olayinka8793(m): 2:14pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
donTbone:noted bro,thanks but am sure u know some feeling are difficult to suppress,so it will be hard to take your advice of waiting for a true love to come,as for trying to impress gals I get your point and will never do that. 8 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by donTbone(m): 2:18pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
Olayinka8793:Waiting doesn't mean you just do nothing... but I'd advice you plan well for your self and future first before any gal comes to mind! 30 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by Olayinka8793(m): 2:21pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
DiegoNakel:thanks bro.I think letter writing is no longer in vogue this days,more so them ladies eyes don open well that they considered men toasting them indirectly via letter and text or call as a sign of lack of confidence.moreover I don't know her enough to know how matured she is as she might laugh over a love letter or read it with her friends. 39 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by Highcuerayte: 2:30pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by Olayinka8793(m): 2:30pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
donTbone:sure bro,my future is my priority but then we all have a desire to love and be loved. 147 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by donTbone(m): 2:31pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
Olayinka8793:OK ![]() 1 Like 2 Shares |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by Swissheart(f): 2:49pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
The first thing is to be yourself.....look beyond d said deafness.You write well...so I think you are quite intelligent.Make friend with her....with dat She must have been convinced of your worth...I am not a fan of toasting by d road side actually. friendship first.Continue being a good guy.Think of getting better..both medically and career wise. 96 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by segzy0i(m): 2:52pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
Hmmm its just so infortunate bt I bliv there can still be a cure for the ear prob as per gettin a girl pple who re more disabled than u re gettin married just take ur tym d gud woman meant 4 u wl com.ladies cant be impressed if dey dnt love u little can impressimg dem do 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by DiegoNakel(m): 4:46pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
Olayinka8793:People do appreciate little things at times. But no need, you could indirectly ask her out !!! 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by Olayinka8793(m): 5:40pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
Swissheart:noted,thanks ma'am.Friendship first? Hmmmm Makes sense until I found myself friendzoned.will try sha. 27 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by Kayoski(m): 7:32pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
Olayinka8793:I don't really know what to say..but from what u've said I think u have an advantage..at least she knows ur challenge.. why not visit your aunts shop more often..try to be friends with her first,with that If u still like her after knowing her better just naturally woo her.. modified: front page..he he he...even though na night shift..half bread better pass akara 21 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by tosyne2much(m): 7:51pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
I almost shed tears reading the 3rd, 4th and 5th paragraph My brother, please don't see yourself less a person because of your disability. At least you should give thanks to God that you can at least TALK and can even communicate in written form, rather than counting yourself as somebody from another planet. However, there are thousands of people out there who can neither talk nor hear, while some are deaf, dumb and can't even write (should they kill themselves?), so my bro, don't live an isolated life crying in secret places in consolation of your disability That aside Your disability can never stop you from finding that right girl. Just keep searching (but don't be too desperate) and I can assure you that when the right girl comes, you are likely to find a girl you never thought you could ever date and she will accept you whole heartedly and see beyond your deafness. Lastly, devote your time to your work, make more money in your salon and set your priorities right. That will also be an added advantage to your quest As per wooing the babe, even though you are as rich as Dangote and you show so much desperation and interest in a lady, she go use you do shakara. As for the girl, just try to get her phone number, strike up a chat via whatsapp and from there she will get to start knowing more of you. Please ensure you avoid telling a lady that you want to marry her. This will however scare her away It's well bro 119 Likes 14 Shares |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by Nobody: 7:53pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
Incase ![]() |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by 2dice(m): 8:09pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
Op U tell Girls of 18- 22years u want to marry Her? That is a GrandTicket to de ZONE ![]() Anyways don't let your diasbility hold you down It is well Bro 17 Likes |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by naijaboiy: 8:24pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
This story touched my heart ![]() Lalasticlala front page please. ![]() 11 Likes |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by Olayinka8793(m): 8:37pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
tosyne2much:thanks for your encouraging words bro,and the advice also. 9 Likes |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by Olayinka8793(m): 8:55pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
2dice:bro why na,ain't gals of such age range matured enough for dating?,this particular gal is 19+ so she should be ripe enough for marriage in 3 years time. 2 Likes |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by Olayinka8793(m): 9:01pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
Kayoski:noted bro,I have thought about faking an illness or just a headache to visit my aunt shop for prescription but I hardly have an idea of whether my aunt will be in shop or not,so I backed off. The few time I really need drugs and visit her shop,she was always present. 5 Likes |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by 2dice(m): 9:16pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
Olayinka8793:well u seem like a GoodGuy ![]() Yes they are mature for dating Most girls from that range don't even think of marriage Na their Prime Be that .. Their eyes still dey outside also most will still be in School No pls don't say i want to MARRY YOU... Lastly becareful of your Heart some girls dey carry Sledge Hammer about ![]() ![]() 59 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by Olayinka8793(m): 10:07pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
2dice:noted,I had thought about replacing "I want to marry u" with "can we be friends" but my mind told me that is an automatic ticket to getting friendzoned. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by 2dice(m): 10:19pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
Olayinka8793:u don't even need much grammar/English diss days Let her know u like her without being too forward If she likes you ...everything u do will look perfect ![]() 7 Likes |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by Olayinka8793(m): 10:30pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
2dice:ok bro,thanks for your incomplete advice sha. *rehearsing* hey baby what is ur name my name is............. I like u,I mean I fell in like with u ![]() she :meaning? Me: *speechless* if she embarrassed me I will blame u bro. 33 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by Simitrendy: 10:31pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
Disability doesn't mean inability. Tho I've seen a girl deaf tho she isn't mentally and physically fit. And she's studying Law at JABU and she has a boyfriend. Visit a good hospitals that has Ear Nose and Throat Dept. Or a good Teaching Hospital they offer earphones (hearing aids) for deaf people, so at least you can still use it. But def u WL still find some1 who's gonna love you without looking or thinking of your disability. BTW stop that Konji, I mean the masturbation of a thing. Why not keep yourself sexually pure, Remember that your destiny is in your hand ![]() There's a popular pastor called Pastor Nick. Shebi is someone that married him. Even tho he can't walk. He doesn't have leg. Someone still married him 18 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by BIBILISTIC(f): 10:32pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
Kk |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by saasala(m): 10:32pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
Sorry, I aint gat the time to read anything this lengthy. Try again later. |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by Sweetyie(f): 10:33pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
Eeyah |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by freesinzu(m): 10:33pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
[color=#550000][/color]ghh |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by LesbianBoy(m): 10:33pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
So you no get liver ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Advice Urgently Needed! by BlackrulesDworld(m): 10:34pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
Ok |
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