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An Out-of-position Arsenal XI by teejayahmed(m): 1:41pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
Seeing Steven Caulker sent on up front again for
Liverpool got me thinking about footballers playing out
of position. I’m sure we all love it when a keeper
comes up for a corner at the end of a game. Or when
an outfield player has to go in goal.
So anyway – I wondered – what’s the worst team
you can come up with, just by playing players out of
position. You have to take your team’s first XI and
then place them in positions they are very poorly
suited to. Sort of like reverse Football Manager.
Here’s my effort with Arsenal. (Alright I cheated
a bit and dropped Ramsey because he’d probably be
good everywhere).
GK: Santi Cazorla. Phenomenal close control and a
glorious ability to dribble out of tight spaces – all
things you don’t need in a goalkeeper. Also five foot
five. In fairness, being two-footed would be useful
(why can’t all keepers kick well off both feet under
pressure?)
RB: Olivier Giroud. Desperately slow and one-
footed…he’d get turned inside out by most wingers
and probably most full-backs in the Premier League.
At least would give this side some height in defence
though.
CB: Alexis Sanchez. He’d probably be pretty good
anywhere – but his habit of dummying/stepping one
way and then turning another is exactly what you
don’t want your centre-back doing. Putting him in a
position where he can’t joyfully run with the ball and
take on defenders would be like showing your labrador
videos of other dogs being taken for walks.
CB: Mesut Ozil. God I love him, but he would
struggle. He’s not lazy – but he really doesn’t enjoy
challenging for headers. He would apply virtually no
pressure to a centre forward receiving the ball with
his back to goal. The thought of him marking
Benteke/Lukaku/Costa makes me shudder.
LB: Hector Bellerin. He’d actually probably be fine
here. But I just had a space left over and couldn’t
work out where to put him…
DM: Theo Walcott. The defensive instincts of a
drunk toddler who spotted his favourite toy in the
distance. Being a DM is about being in the right
place originally – not the trademark Theo guilty
sprint back into position. Weak in the challenge, and
for an Arsenal player often has a pretty bad first
touch. The turnovers he would generate in the
middle of the park would kill the team.
CM: Petr Cech. As a goalkeeper he’s used to being
able to see everything in front of him – but central
midfield is probably the tightest area of the pitch
with players potentially tackling you from all
directions. Big guy though. Could be that leader in
the middle of the park everyone goes on about.
Playmaker: Monreal. I really like Nacho – he’s a
solid defender who reads the game well. He’s
(rightly) pretty unambitious in his passing however –
and I think would really blunt our attack a lot in
this position. Loves making an overlapping run, but
you sort of sense he’s often hoping teammates don’t
pass it to him.
FW: Per Mertesacker. I can’t even imagine what
he would do playing out wide. Possibly he’d become a
sort of dead end for counter-attacks – calmly passing
the ball back the way it came. Worse still – he
could become our Fellaini.
FW: Laurent Koscielny. Would probably do a job
here and I had to slot him in somewhere, but a lot of
his strengths (stepping up and intercepting, ability to
time a tackle) would be largely wasted.
CF: Coquelin. Never scored for Arsenal. He’s only
scored twice in his career in 142 appearances.
Wenger playing him at centre-forward for a game
would be the ultimate trolling of football punditry…a
two-fingered salute to both those who say Arsenal
need another striker and those who say Arsenal need
more defensive cover in midfield.
Can you do better/worse? |
Re: An Out-of-position Arsenal XI by talk2riel: 2:06pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
Gosh! would love to see Per and Giroud play in this positions its gonna outright hilarious. |
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