When your nine-year-old shouts, “I hate you,” it is a difficult statement for any parent to hear. Parents generally feel hurt, rejected and angry. But there is another element that complicates a parent’s reaction to the child’s behavior. Each parent brings his own unique personal experiences from childhood to the parent /child interaction. In this case, if the parent did not feel loved and experienced a great deal of rejection in childhood, he may feel terribly hurt and can easily overreact to the child. The parent can unconsciously experience the child as a disappointing parent or sibling who made him feel unloved and may respond with rage. Similarly, the parent who was never listened to at home can re-experience tremendous frustration and anger when his child ignores him. He might see his child as his unyielding parent and explode. The more aware a parent is of these reactions, the more he will be able to respond more positively to the child.

Parents generally try to make up for any hurts that they had as children, by behaving differently than their own parents. They can become very upset when they see themselves acting in the same way. It is crucial to be aware that parents tend to gravitate to the way they were raised when they are stressed. For instance, if your parents spanked you for transgressions, you may repeat this method of handling issues with your child, even if you are opposed to harsh discipline. It is helpful for a parent to bring this process to the surface so he will feel more in control of his responses.

Another factor from the past, that has a powerful effect on the parenting experience, is that each parent in the couple had unique childhood experiences. These differences often cause many ongoing conflicts for parents. For instance, if one parent was raised in an authoritarian home and the other never experienced any limits at all, they may argue relentlessly over whether or not to buy their child a toy. It is important for each parent to analyze his or her reactions and pinpoint issues from the past. The more conscious these issues become, the more smoothly the couple can work together. Here are some steps you can take to build your self-awareness.

Identify your emotion. When your child will not clean up his room and you are engaged in a battle with him, try to pinpoint your emotion. Are you feeling angry, sad, or frustrated?READ MORE.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/parents-generally-feel-hurt-rejected-and-angry-when-there-kids-misbehave/

You tell a nigerian parent you hate them.

They won't feel hurt. you will.

Immediately, both physically and spiritually.

And this is romantic