Good evening nairalanders,
I am in a dilemma right now and I need suggestions on how to go about this. This is my story!!
I happen to work in a multinational where I earn a fare income, this also happens to be my first job.
I am the first born of my family.My mom is currently not working because I had to advise her to stop her job for the moment because it was telling seriously on her health and on many occasions she has had lapses that might have been the end of her, believe me she is the last person i want to lose right now. She has been there for all her kids even when it was life threatening for her and i cant bear to lose her as she is the thread holding my immediate family right now.
To cushion the effect of her present joblessness, I have to send something home every month end. This excludes other times i have to send money home for other stuffs.
Our last born is currently seeking admission which means that my responsibilities are increasing. I am not too bothered about all this because I know the prayers of my mom are sufficient for me and I am not doing too bad either.

On the hand, I have friends that i help every now and then. Some of them just finished NYSC and a very few are still in school. I am like the proverbial one eyed king in the land of the blind for them. I feel like sometimes they think i make a lot of money, which is not true. I am also cool with this because its not an everyday thing for me to give them money, i help when i know they are in very dire need.
I have my own needs to cater to but my principle in life is I help my friends when I know it will not eat too deep in my savings and it will not be recurrent.

I am sorry for the long story, now the dilemma i am faced with is recently i had to send a token of fund to one of my very close and good friend's mom due to some financial difficulties. She directly asked me to send her money, I am not too pleased with this development but i had to eventually send the money to her cos i know it will not be recurrent. To my dismay, she sent me a text this evening asking me to help out my friend's junior brother who is currently serving and is having some financial issues at the moment.

The issue at hand now is I cant be sending money to people anyhow cos i realized the "little tokens" i am doling out are gradually turning to a "mighty ocean". I have not responded to her text yet and i don't want to also tell my mom about it. I have a cordial relationship with my friend, his brother and his mom and even my own mom is on good terms with my friend's mom.
Please note: My said friend is still in school cos of the long number of years his chosen course takes to complete.
I apologize for my long epistle and typos. I am somewhat distraught right now. I want to be tactical about my decision.
I will appreciate your well meaning advise and suggestions.

Thanks.

How much u get wey we noor go hear word?

Following

Enikeni ti iwo bani pa lati Se iranlowo fun,ohun naa ni EnikEji re,toju E ooooo. GIVERS NEVER LACK

Lol.. Tell em you don't have....they can't expect you to give what you don't have........btw am pretty sure they call you "father of all nations" behind you...


It is well......

Maybe you should let them know they shouldn't be expecting much as usual after all the economy is not smiling on anyone right now

I feel your pain bro

and also try to cut your "show off" if any

Goodluck

Hmmmmn......if sincerely you do not have it or it will probably affect you...explain to her that you can't help,but if the only reason you don't want to give is because you have given too much before now....that isn't very cool.People take cool ppl for granted but then it doesn't matter because you won't lack yourself.

Craftyxerxes:
Good evening nairalanders,
I am in a dilemma right now and I need suggestions on how to go about this. This is my story!!
I happen to work in a multinational where I earn a fare income, this also happens to be my first job.
I am the first born of my family.My mom is currently not working because I had to advise her to stop her job for the moment because it was telling seriously on her health and on many occasions she has had lapses that might have been the end of her, believe me she is the last person i want to lose right now. She has been there for all her kids even when it was life threatening for her and i cant bear to lose her as she is the thread holding my immediate family right now.
To cushion the effect of her present joblessness, I have to send something home every month end. This excludes other times i have to send money home for other stuffs.
Our last born is currently seeking admission which means that my responsibilities are increasing. I am not too bothered about all this because I know the prayers of my mom are sufficient for me and I am not doing too bad either.
On the hand, I have friends that i help every now and then. Some of them just finished NYSC and a very few are still in school. I am like the proverbial one eyed king in the land of the blind for them. I feel like sometimes they think i make a lot of money, which is not true. I am also cool with this because its not an everyday thing for me to give them money, i help when i know they are in very dire need.
I have my own needs to cater to but my principle in life is I help my friends when I know it will not eat too deep in my savings and it will not be recurrent.
I am sorry for the long story, now the dilemma i am faced with is recently i had to send a token of fund to one of my very close and good friend's mom due to some financial difficulties. She directly asked me to send her money, I am not too pleased with this development but i had to eventually send the money to her cos i know it will not be recurrent. To my dismay, she sent me a text this evening asking me to help out my friend's junior brother who is currently serving and is having some financial issues at the moment.
The issue at hand now is I cant be sending money to people anyhow cos i realized the "little tokens" i am doling out are gradually turning to a "mighty ocean". I have not responded to her text yet and i don't want to also tell my mom about it. I have a cordial relationship with my friend, his brother and his mom and even my own mom is on good terms with my friend's mom.
Please note: My said friend is still in school cos of the long number of years his chosen course takes to complete.
I apologize for my long epistle and typos. I am somewhat distraught right now. I want to be tactical about my decision.
I will appreciate your well meaning advise and suggestions.
Thanks.

You can give as long as the grace upon you still alive to handle that..i once in ur shoes my was that am the 4th out of 6th its happen that am the first graduate and got a very nice job but not with multinational company but well paid..my responsibility from friend and family increase to a very 400k every month which dint allow me to save at all at last I lost the job..at the present no,one around me to help me out .thank God I already build a house in which I can point at at the moment...friend are no where to be found...its only my age mom and my wife family that support me with food stiff in the last 4month.....surely very soon I will come back on,my feet very soon by the grace of God....please be wife and pretend to some as much as possible

I can't tell u not to give because it's difficult to do so with ur kind of heart. U desire to alleviate people's suffering, and u feel guilty not giving when asked.
But in giving u have to be mindful of the sufferings in store for u as well if u are not prudent.
Give but not all out especially to outsiders, for instance if u r asked for 5k give 2k and explain that is all u can afford

arthurshelly:

You can give as long as the grace upon you still alive to handle that..i once in ur shoes my was that am the 4th out of 6th its happen that am the first graduate and got a very nice job but not with multinational company but well paid..my responsibility from friend and family increase to a very 400k every month which dint allow me to save at all at last I lost the job..at the present no,one around me to help me out .thank God I already build a house in which I can point at at the moment...friend are no where to be found...its only my age mom and my wife family that support me with food stiff in the last 4month.....surely very soon I will come back on,my feet very soon by the grace of God....please be wife and pretend to some as much as possible

Thanks for the advise bro

goodmorning40:
I can't tell u not to give because it's difficult to do so with ur kind of heart. U desire to alleviate people's suffering, and u feel guilty not giving when asked.
But in giving u have to be mindful of the sufferings in store for u as well if u are not prudent.
Give but not all out especially to outsiders, for instance if u r asked for 5k give 2k and explain that is all u can afford

Thanks, I appreciate

Yungwizzzy:
Maybe you should let them know they shouldn't be expecting much as usual after all the economy is not smiling on anyone right now

I feel your pain bro

and also try to cut your "show off" if any

Goodluck

I don't show off bro. Thanks anyways

I can relate to your post very well because I'm also in your shoes... some times I just look at the likes of celebrate most especially the free once like 2face, if that dude open up on the kind of things people ask from him. you just have to man up, watch before you help... some ppl are found of living a standard they can't maintain and when is time to carry their cross they start looking for someone to rest their weight on.

ignore the guy that is asking how much you get, who em epp. it very difficult to set a goal in this country, ppl will surely get u down as if your dreams doesn't matter, at a point I was force to start using 1 stuff til I feel lyk changing it.

I can relate to your post very well because I'm also in your shoes... some times I just look at the likes of celebrate most especially the free once like 2face, if that dude open up on the kind of things people ask from him. you just have to man up, watch before you help... some ppl are found of living a standard they can't maintain and when is time to carry their cross they start looking for someone to rest their weight on.

ignore the guy that is asking how much you get, who em epp. it very difficult to set a goal in this country, ppl will surely get u down as if your dreams doesn't matter.