I took an okada an rushed to catch an early appointment in bariga before heading to the airport to catch a flight to Uyo.

On my way back from bariga we ran into serious traffic at the morocco junction and despite the rider’s efforts we were stuck. My flight was 10am an it was almost 8am. While we were in the standstill traffic one car beside us kept pushing forward thereby pressing my left leg against the motorbike I was on. Despite my protests the guy just won't relax the pressure. As soon as a small gap opened the bike moved and I jumped off and went for the car driver, seeing me coming he quickly came out and threw a punch which missed my face, well I put him in an arm lock and it was a stalemate as we were both unable to do anything more.

NOTE, I have never had cause to fight or even get into a scuffle with anyone, I avoided rough plays while growing up. I am that type that prefers to walk away from a potential fight situation. So I have absolutely no fighting skills. I don't watch boxing or wrestling. I don't subscribe to martial arts, and i was in that situation where I badly needed some fighting skill-yet nothing came to mind, so all I did was grab his hot head and lock it in my left arm. I had no idea what to do next, and I think the guy had the same problem too so we just stood in the lock position.

Still in this position I heard someone bark ‘Oya make una separate,! And one hand grabbed my shirt, it was a soldier, he also held my adversary and dragged us into a gate.

Chai! That was when I realized we were fighting right in front of an army installation.

I tried to explain but they told me to save my breath. We were taken before a ranking officer who listened to our explanation till we started arguing because the guy wasn't telling the truth saying I came at him for no reason. ‘so una no dey fear sef? Na front of our OC una still dey quarrel? ‘Oga, e be like say these people still wan fight o’, the soldier said. I quickly apologised to the officer and brought out my ticket to prove I had a flight to catch, I was running late and so I needed to be on my way. He looked at the ticket and called one of the soldiers and whispered something to him.

The officer assured me they will sort the matter asap so I can be on my way, but they had to make some findings first, so we should follow the soldier he whispered to. We went with the soldier through a door into a corridor with several closed doors on one side, past an open office, turned right and straight into a massive hall with an equally huge boxing ring in the middle. I have never been close to a boxing ring in my life till that day. While I was taking it in and also trying to unerstand why we were in that hall, a group of soldiers then came in and split into two groups, one group came to me with a giant pair of boxing gloves that they are on my side and I should teach the guy a lesson, I saw the other group also psyching the other guy up too to give me a good beating.

Those soldiers were very serious, teaching me skills and all (punching, jabbing etc). It was just unbelievable. My protests fell on deaf ears as both teams were busy shouting, and more soldiers were trooping in to view the epic fight. We were lifted unto the ring. I still couldn't believe this was happening. It was just like something straight out of my dreams when I have fever.

There we were, on the ring, face to face, and the officer then came. The soldier that brought us into the hall brought the office to the ring an introduced me as street fighter purple (I was wearing a purple jersey) and the other guy was street fighter blue (his shirt) and we were bantam weight category. The winner of the fight gets to wash the bathroom, while the loser washes the toilets and cleans oga’s office. Any bite or kick will attract field work (grass cutting) for the kicker/biter. The officer promised each of us a cold bottle of coca cola after the fight and wished us a good fight, then left.

A whistle was blown for the fight to start. My adversary couldn't take it anymore, he simply started crying. Seriously!

My team cheered and rushed into the ring and lifted me. When the gloves were taken off, a broom and bucket was given to me and I was led to my prize-the bathrooms…

Afterwards, the officer called me and said we both looked too respectable to have allowed our emotions overtake our reasoning, that's why he got his boys to humiliate us so we will regret our actions. Truly I did regret my actions and I couldn't believe the actions I took in response to the man’s apparent aggression an the consequence I was now facing. It was a very bad day and there was no way I couyld go home, change and still catch the flight, would have to pay for the no show penalty and rebook for the next day.

A good piece of info, I got an sms from Dana Air that the flight had been delayed to 12noon. On the flight to Uyo I was still amazed at how the day went. Till date I still reflect on the events of that day. The officer took my number, we speak occasionally, we met for a drink once. The other guy? Lost in memory, can't even recall what he looked like.

That's my ‘only in naija’ moment. what's yours.

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