??

its called EGO, you see he prefers to keep on looking successful in everyone else eyes and eat garri everyday than to let them know that he cant really afford doing what he does.
its the sad state of many people out there, "looking the part" rather than BEING the part!

i dont think there is much you can do because that would be almost like changing something that is embedded in the 9ja genes. if your suffering is taking second stage in his life then i guess you'll have to do something drastic for him to take you seriously.

He's suffering from a serious case of inferiority complex, not to talk of a great sense of mis-place prioirities!

He needs to be put in check and that's your responsibility!

If you didn't know how to nag, start it now. Drop the perfect/understanding wife act.

Write your own list (be sure to inflate figures ) and make sure he gives you every dime and change!

Start up a savings of the excess incase of emergencies.

After you milk him of enough to give you and your children a good life, you can leave him to dash the rest to his family!

He is not charmed,It is your responsibility to check his excessive spending if not he will not stop it.I was once like your husband.

@ujujoan ,i dnt tink its inferiority complex as u said bt rather ego as @Brownjay said. i have started nagging and all sort, i did it last month,bt he stil repeated it,
evn after he begged for forgiveness. i think i have to milk him, bt i dnt hav the heart to.


@Godalone, its not as if he is xtravagant, but he sents the mony to his parents and married siblings. how else do u want me to checkmate dat?
he has forgotten dt he s no mor a bachelor,evn a bachelor saves for his future

He will change with time. Just keep believing in God.

u r d wife- a certain proverb goes "d man is d head of the family but the wife is d neck" in other words u control his every move, but u shud do it with suave.

Just passin

No comments~

You can't stop him from sending money to his people but let him know that his immediate family should not suffer.There is need for him to save for the future because rain will not fall everyday.Tell him that you love his people but he should also consider his immediate family too.If this does not work,then you have to be presenting long list with inflated prices to save the excess as Ujujoan suggested.

My dear, if all your human effort to combat the situation has failed. I think there is one ultimate action u need to do and that is go on your knees and talk to God about it, He will not fail you. Good Luck and I wish you all the best.

10KS ALL. atleast now i know i wasnt bin sentimentaL

You can take this thread to the family section for more advice from Chaircover,jennykadry etc.

I will advice you to maintain a personal account ( Which will serve as savings for the Family). And Let everyone (including You and your children SPEND from his account)

Your husband Family members will drain you guys; they will NOT stop .

So you need a backup account

Go get a job, and keep your earnings separate. You keep your money and let him keep his. That way you can eat like a Queen and let him eat like a beggar. He will eventually learn to keep his own money for himself.

hmmmmmmmmmmm say more i want to learn

well i think i want learn you luv.bug

he does nt value u period! n u need to get smart cos if he decides to leave u, u will b left penniless. This eventuality is a very real possibility because its pretty obvious he doesnt care about ur future perhaps because he sees u as a short-term arrangement n his family longer term therefore he is investn in them rather than in ur marriage.

I think you shld stop the understanding wife,u've really tried,any money you earn,save em,bt make sure ur child lacks nothing,n b ready to go hungry to accomplish this mission.if he comes,n if he refuses to perform his responsibility n ask 4 ur earning,tell him u've sent it to ur parents too,then he will get the msg.he needs to learn the hard way!

Bring him to me let me tell him how lucky he is, some of our wives is never satisfied with what they ar being given and they send everything to thier pple, and frown when ours is arnd.

In a case like this, you should be the economist of the family, take the responsibility to save in other to save the family from unforeseen contigencies.
If I may ask, is he an Igbo man?

d no go carry dis go family section , d still leave am for romance. if na me?

There is a time for prayer and there is a time for action.combine prayer and action action.nagging will not solve the problem begin to increase the amt of money u need frm him try to save the excess still be frugal as you've always been he need not knw that u are still frugal this "Baba alaye" syndrome must be fought to a standstill and its your battle.believe me for a woman to survive you need a degree of cunning.

@acidosis , i would have bin happier if he was an igboman,cos an igbo man will save evry dime n invest evry bit.