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From your narration I think you both are lacking understanding. To start with, Madam, I think you're misunderstanding him and this is the reason you tagged him as a lazy man.
Let me tell you, guys don't reason like woman. I mean reason in terms of work. A lady can take a work of small amount believing it's better than staying at home while many guys will prefer staying at home instead of taking peanut.
Mind you, am not taking side with him just saying how we guys feel when it's comes to some work.

Secondly, I don't think you've been fair reporting him to everyone. Let me tell you, no matter what his family will always be at his back.

My suggestion, try your best and look for him, if possible apologize to him and be a submissive wife like our mother Nana Khadeejah.

You DonT Need Our Help, Carry On With Being A Single Mother Pls, You DonT Need To Go Back To Him Or Beg Him To Come Back, Move On, The Man Is Really Not Ready For A Marriage CanT You See That? U Think Say E Easy? Some Girls Would Just Want To Get Married But Its More Than That, I CanT BlaMe You I CanT BlaMe The Man, I Understand How E Be For We Country. The Guy Might Still Love You But SCARED Of ResponsiblITIES

Baby girl, don't listen to anybody that will call you names or say stuffs like it's your fault.. We can only imagine what you're going through, we don't know what you're going through but from your narrative, you've done all you can as a wife and a mother.
What the guy should understand unlike what Realmadrid guy said, the guy has no right to turn down a job down without getting another one. Nobody forced him into getting you pregnant, he should understand he's now a father, being a father involves doing even the smallest job you could get at the time just to provide for your child. He's not being asked to commit any crime.
You've tried and done your bit, you've been a good single mom so far.. it went to the point that even the dad called him and advised you both, but still uncle is misbehaving.
If he has plans and his dreams, fine and great, but first let him try to be more supportive and find something doing first while he makes his plans, in the end all will be good.
but you don't sound like he's ready, truth his he might've been interested in rocking the boat when it was just you and him, at least it was easier, and now it's 3 of you, pressure on him doubled and I don't think he's ready for the 3 party(Your child).
So just move on from him, do your job and always have time for your kid, someday you'll meet a man and love again.. don't wish him bad or ill luck though, wish him the best, because he's still the father of your kid... The guy definitely won't stay like this forever, he'll change and hell he might get the dream job he's always wanted someday.. But that doesn't change your own race as a human, move on and be happy.. because he's misbehaving now, Your kid needs you more than anything

Omoge, you can't have it both ways. What do you want? Continual cohabitation with the lazy man who has refused to marry you, take responsibility of his kid and take care of the house bills? Or leaving him alone since you are fed up of his behavior? Biko, don't over stress yourself. The dude has eased your wahala by leaving the house for you.

If I were you, I would change my address, sort my baby's care, take care of myself, ignore his people's antics and worry less about the guy. In fact, I would sort to improve myself for the labour market as most employers pay for quality and experience. Leave the dude alone...may God help you be a better person and care for your child. Pele. Na you see broke asszs marry in the first place

Let me officially welcome you to the babymama zone!!
You brought yourself so low to the guy, he doesn't value you, he feels you are trying to tie him down with the child!!
You must have seen the sign but you were so blinded with love, that guy is nothing but a leech, has no ambition or zeal to even try to make it in life!!
You better leave that guy, don't let your age to decide for you, life is too short to be spent in penury with a lowlife no ambition guy, even if you won't consider yourself, consider your child, nothing is tying you to the guy legally, see him as just a sperm donor!!

This is exactly the reason I can't even consider struggling guys when it comes to relationship!!
I don't care if you have a bright future, come back when you have made it!!
Comfortability should be every lady's priority in relationship, forget love, it fades but hunger, school fees, clothing and needs never fades!!

Well,you put the cart before the horse.
It is plan well first,have a stable source of income, marry............and have a baby.
Not have a baby and then not have money to marry or struggle to feed.

As it is,you better cut your loss and plan on moving forward as a single mother.You will be wasting your time and dragging yourself forward if you keep trying to make your baby papa marry you.

If he doesn't wanna take care of the child, let him be and stop forcing him. I think he doesn't want you anymore.

So brace up and get yourself up and running, it will only get better.

Liliyann:
Let me officially welcome you to the babymama zone!!
You brought yourself so low to the guy, he doesn't value you, he feels you are trying to tie him down with the child!!
You must have seen the sign but you were so blinded with love, that guy is nothing but a leech, has no ambition or zeal to even try to make it in life!!
You better leave that guy, don't let your age to decide for you, life is too short to be spent in penury with a lowlife no ambition guy, even if you won't consider yourself, consider your child, nothing is tying you to the guy legally, see him as just a sperm donor!!

This is exactly the reason I can't even consider struggling guys when it comes to relationship!!
I don't care if you have a bright future, come back when you have made it!!
Comfortability should be every lady's priority in relationship, forget love, it fades but hunger, school fees, clothing and needs never fades!!

You already have a problem!

This is why I’m so adamant about ladies dating guys with something in their pocket. When you start becoming the man and woman In the household, that’s when they start taking full advantage. You don’t have to struggle with a guy, you don’t have to help him when he’s broke, THAT IS NOT YOUR JOB! Date a man with stable moneyy , it’s more important than love.

Stop trying to please men whilst making yourself uncomfortable. Stop trying to cater to men who are not worth it. Always know your worth and understand that you are the prize. The man peruses the woman and not the other way round. You should never be the one begging a man to marry you, it’s the other way round. My advice to you is to leave him, start afresh and level up. Thank God you’re still young, keep up with your looks and go back into dating, learn from this situation and do better.

U got pregnant for a jobless and lazy man, what do u expect? Madam u can't eat your cake and have it. U made a very senseless choice and u have to suffer for it. U better move on than chasing shadow, u guy are not even married

Nothing more to say as commenters;
3,4,7 made consequential amount of sense.
Meanwhile commenters 5 & 9 made sense, although negligible but okay.

Summarily, that is all the sense you will need as far as your ordeal goes.

And God saw one man walking out of your life so he gave you another. It isn't chance.

Eeyah

Welcome to the babymama's club

You better change your location and move on with your life

Getting pregnant for a jobless and lazy man

Even if he breaks even tomorrow, he will go and marry another woman

It is well

On the one hand, you want him to take a job that pays next to nothing (just to avoid being called lazy), and on the other hand, you insult him for running to his family to get rents?

Women sometimes confuse encouragement with nagging and fear. Sorry, but I have to say you have not been encouraging him to be a better man.

Call it pride or not, some men won't take most of these jobs you're advising. Why do you think we have more women in private schools where teachers earn 10k/month? A man would rather sleep all day than take such jobs knowing very well that the 10k won't stop you from nagging. Frustration is so real these days, right here on the front page, a man killed his girlfriend for calling him a lazy man (I'm against such wicked and mindless atrocities though).

Not blaming you btw, but seeing the mistake you made (giving birth and cohabiting before marriage), best thing to do is make your man a better man. You almost nagged him to death, the young man packed his bag and left yet you wouldn't let him be. So, why are you still looking for a man that has nothing to offer?

Sh!ts happens ma'am. Face your reality and shape your dreams yourself. Yes, you got a job and he couldn't but you didn't tell us your/his grade, your/his course of study. What worked for you won't work for everyone. If your man graduated with a 3rd class, then you just might nag to the grave if all you think about is getting a sweet job in a blue chip company.

Call your man and reason together. Nothing is impossible where there is understanding. His parents' attitude may seem like they don't care but you're wrong! They are not happy with his condition as well. Only difference is they show good understanding. Which parent won't want his child to succeed or send money home? That you're all agitated don't imply that you love him more (his parents love him more than you do actually), so quit being desperate. I've not seen any reason to call him a lazy man.

Yes, he runs to his parents to get money, so what? Would you say the same if he were the son of Dangote? I think you should encourage him the right way. We are not all wired/fired to work like elephants and eat like ants.

You're a single mother. Better move on with your life.

I wonder what people think when they bring kids into the world without a viable plan

A moment, please.

Let me itemize some keys points for you for easy read.

1. He is a lazy loafer. If you want to continue to feed him, look for him and stick with him.

2. You both are not legally married. The introduction was an occasion of shame shielding. You just did it because you wanted to show to the world that at least you guys wanted a future together. Introduction is not marriage.

3. Fact is the dude has moved on with his life. He did not plan to start his life the way it unfortunately started. It can be depressing to have a baby when you are not ready to cater for it. Men only smile during the birth of a baby when they are capable of caring for it.

4. You are still single. This is the bitter truth. Swallow it! Plan your life all over again. Think one hundred percent like a single lady.

5. I am not soothsayer. He may or may not come back. My advice is, if he ever comes back do not accept him. He will leave again and again and again. If you accept him back, you will be worse off afterwards because by then you could be carrying three to four children, with your youthfulness completely battered.

6. Whatever love you have for him, kill it and bury it now. But please love the child. Do not see the nonentity of a father in your child. Only see your beauty and perfection in your child. Raise your child to be different from the mistake of a man.

7. If possible, you can move back to your parent's place and start out as a single lady again. Hey, this time around, look well before saying yes. Most importantly, marry lawfully before moving in with any man.

You are blessed in JESUS' name.

bolateeto25:
Am a lady of 30yrs and I have a guy that have been dating him since 2012, after our service year we started looking for job I got a job before him which they were paying him a penny I started like that I keep telling him to start looking for job too he got a job with one real estate which they are paying him on commission base I told him that you still have to look for another job with that we continue our relationship which the salary that I collect we would still share it by 2016 I got pregnant for him he did introduction so my parent now said I should put to bed before I do Nikkah so I after I put to bed I started disturbing him that we plan our Nikkah any time I made mention of the Nikkah he will go against it, during that period am the responsible for all the expenses at home to the extent that am getting fed up with all his act, I help him to get two different types of job he said he can’t do it bcoz their salary is too small to the extent that I started getting tired of the relationship we both shared the money of the house rent into which I paid my part he hv go and meet his families to balance am really fed up, I went to report him to his mother his mother did not even allow me to talk she just supporting his son so, I decided to kept queit and am looking at him he’s not concerned about our welfare at home and me am still working and am taking care of my child , he’s a lazy type I paid my child school fees my self when I ask him of his school fees he would tell me that Ok and he won’t do anything I went to report him to his father that his not responsible his father called him on phone in my presence to ask about the wedding plan he told his father that he’s not ready for any wedding now bcoz I heard it his father put the phone on speaker so his father invited the both of us and he talk to us and he promise to change which he did not change, I close @ my office by 5:30pm I will took bike of 1k to my child school to pick him up but he would have been around bcoz they don’t hv closing time all his behavior towards make his love to fade off my mind, he went to meet my family that they should be begging that he has offended with tears I told my sisters that am fed up they begged me to continue with him that everything will be ok, I listen to them still he did not change bcoz of him I did not have single savings bcoz am the one doing everything nd I worked from mon -sat I have only Sunday to rest still his family will be complaining that I don’t attend their parties that they do,last year September I stop using my money to cook for him all wat I do is i face my son so towards ending of September he packed out of the house for me I informed my parent about what happened my mum called him he said his in a meeting up till ds moment he did not call back, my dad called him he told him that he did not have time to come Nd see him, then the following morning his mother came to my street I greet her she just answer somehow so I called my mum my mum call her his mum told my mum that she did not hv my time, I called his father that he has packed out,his father told me that he said am maltreating him that’s why he packed out, up till this moment I did not hear anything from his family going to 4 months now, pls my mummies and sisters I need ur advices pls

Ignore that guy and move on with your life. The problem is not him being unemployed, but that he refused to put in the required effort. Now you knowing such decided to take in for him. You'll want to bring a kid to come and suffer especially in a ****hole like 9ja. I tire for una.

Unfortunately you're not married to him, you were living with your boyfriend and he has moved out.

You already bear all financial cost, and you said the love you had for him is fading, so do you want him back just so you can cover shame by marrying?

You're a single mother now, just adjust your life accordingly. Kpele.

Saffi:
This is why I’m so adamant about ladies dating guys with something in their pocket. When you start becoming the man and woman In the household, that’s when they start taking full advantage. You don’t have to struggle with a guy, you don’t have to help him when he’s broke, THAT IS NOT YOUR JOB! Date a man with stable moneyy , it’s more important than love.

Stop trying to please men whilst making yourself uncomfortable. Stop trying to cater to men who are not worth it. Always know your worth and understand that you are the prize. The man peruses the woman and not the other way round. You should never be the one begging a man to marry you, it’s the other way round. My advice to you is to leave him, start afresh and level up. Thank God you’re still young, keep up with your looks and go back into dating, learn from this situation and do better.

It is my policy to ignore ignorant cliché statements but I'm in a good mood so I'll indulge you.
In a country like this where say, about 30% of the men are the ones with the money. The remaining 70% are struggling or dead broke. What are the women to do?
I saw on another thread that about 2% of Nigerians account for 90% of bank deposits. Take a moment to process that figure.
What this means is that there are not enough men with money to go round. This means that MOST women will "INEVITABLY" have to settle for men without money.
This is the current economic reality. The other alternative would be to wait for men that are just not there. So unless you have found a way to magically manufacture men with money from thin air, you and your kind should stop saying nonsense like this.
This OP was just unlucky. I don't even want to talk about the men with the money and the workings of their mind.

There are many women who have settled with men without money and have together turned their fortunes around and they are the better for it. Two heads are better than one.

Hope springs eternal.

PS: I expect everything I've said to fly over your head.

Please,avoid him for now you did not send him.if he cares or really interested he will come back for you but adjust yourself don't cry keep hope alive,face your job and your kid,you have a brighter future.Don't be in a haste to accept any man for now,God is your strength, look for a bible believing Church and worship with them with God on your side victory is sure.