chika98:

A size 4 is fat right? Are you just saying that to get attention or you really mean that?
Why don't you go ahead and lose weight so that you can be a size 0. That is certainly more sexy.

that is my own opinion honey, i think i am fat in some ways
but why dont you just ignore my post dear cause i have all the attention i need so that of NL wont be of anyuse

fanta baby, this guy doesn't love you,cos if he truly  does he will take you the way you are, relax gal love will find you someday,why act like a desperado ?give yourself sometime, i believe the best is coming

y me:

that is my own opinion honey, i think i am fat in some ways
but why dont you just ignore my post dear cause i have all the attention i need so that of NL wont be of anyuse

you are a size 4   and you tag yourself 'fat'. WRONG!

girlfriend, you are skinny!  
Except you wear size 18 waist down

y me:

that is my own opinion honey, i think i am fat in some ways
but why dont you just ignore my post dear cause i have all the attention i need so that of NL wont be of anyuse

Kids say the darnest things. Ignored as requested

^^^thanks Ms. altho that was uncalled for.wondering who is the kid now

fantababy:

Dear all,
I need you candid advice.

I met my fiance last yr April through a mutual friend. I live in canada, while he lives in Abuja. We spoke a lot over the phone and we fell in love with our personalities. We are both 27 but am older than him wit 4 months, but he said he does not mind.
I told him ahead of time that I was on the fat side, and he said he does not mind, that he is more particular about the inner person. We exchanged pictures and got along very well.
He proposed 3 months after and I was hesistant saying yes to someone that I had never seen. I prayed about it and eventually said yes. We agreed to see ourselves in August 2009. I asked him what he thot of me, and he said I actually beat his imagination. Physically, he did not meet my expectation at all, but as a christian, I said looks does not matter, it is the heart that matters.
I sincerely love him and I know he does. But he is not satisfied with my looks. Between August last yr and this yr, we have seen 4 times and each visit, we spend quality time together. But the issue is that he keeps complaining about my weight. Everytime we chat or speak, he is always so particular about if am still on the diet and if I exercised. I have been on a diet and joined a gym. I have come down from a US size 14 to size 12.
I told him he was putting so much pressure on me and he shld stop asking me about my weight. 
Before our introduction in April this yr, I asked him if he was sure it was me he wanted, he said yes but that his fear was I wld eventually look older than him.
Just last weekend, he complained that some of his friends saw  my picture and said I was fat and look older than him. He said he felt bad and that he does not want this to happen again. That I shld make sure I exercise everyday and loose the weight before November.
Our wedding is in Dec, and we have made all the preparation.
I do appreciate his honesty but I do not feel comfortable with a man that cannot appreciate my physical attributes. I have had weight issues since my childhood and have learnt to manage it.
I am a very pretty and well endowed lady and I receive compliments all the time, but all my fiance says is that am FAT!
I feel like calling it off, I cannot live the rest of my life with someone who wld be a constant reminder of my weight issues. 
I have not picked his calls since Sunday because I feel so depressed. I have lost all my confidence and I dont even feel pretty anymore!
Pls advice me on what to do.

Dump that your Fiance as fast as you can and i am not even joking!! Most women in your shoes need all the encouragement they can get!! I don't know a single woman struggling with weight that is not self-conscious of her body and for your dude not to realize that it means he just doesn't care! When babies pop out you would most likely gain that weight back and then what??
There are a lotta guys out there that love a thick soul sista better go and find you one

I used to weigh 80 KG, April this yr, but am currently 78KG.

hi,please let go of that guy.what will happen when and after u have kids?it s not worth it !d man who wants to marry u shld like u just d way u are.end it now b4 its too late

A-40:

Dump that your Fiance as fast as you can and i am not even joking!! Most women in your shoes need all the encouragement they can get!! I don't know a single woman struggling with weight that is not self-conscious of her body and for your dude not to realize that it means he just doesn't care! When babies pop out you would most likely gain that weight back and then what??
There are a lotta guys out there that love a thick soul sista better go and find you one

Late comer, she does not need to do any of what you have just written.

Kids say the darnest things. Ignored as requested

You always have a way of making urself look st[i]up[/i]id. cut out the garbage.

I like me some meat on d bone

I sey ya folly. . . . Goodwill hunting

i will advise you to continue, a bird in hand worth 20 in the bush

how u dey blad?

follypimpi:


A-40 baba,twaile,tripple twaile for u.

Tungba fun are re! Wetin dey pa? Lol i'm just spittin game from the pulpit

honeric01:

Late comer, she does not need to do any of what you have just written.

Thank you very much

dats ao we like it bro.
keep d flame burning

I wish I would have had to tell you to keep working at it. In this case there is nothing to work on. The guy is not confident about how you look and I don't think he is going to change that position. These are signs you should not overlook. Some people erroneously think that when they get married, then they will feel better about their spouse. I have heard people say things like, 'the love will grow after marriage'.

Love does not grow. On the contrary this is when the guy should be all over you treating you like a queen. If he is already nagging about your weight, babygirl take it from me, he will only get worse and you'll regret it for your life. So take my advice, cut your losses, severe the relationship and move on. This is such a fundamental matter. It's good to lose weight and be physically fit but you need to decide to do it primarily for yourself and not by compulsion. It is dangerous to get into marriage with poor self esteem like he is already making you have. Don't go there anymore.

Meanwhile I have told you what I know from not only beign married myself for 6 years, but also from careful study conducted on behavioural patterns between spouses pre and during marriage.

All the best and though this may be painful, God has better plans for you trust me.

Shalom.

Here is d man searchin 4 Orobo since Israel left Egypt tellin u 2 rest ur case, No doubt, dis guy in question is indirectly sayin he hasn't met his life partner. Conversely, can't say much now till i hear 4rm u in person.  cheers.

fantababy:

did u read my previous posts @ funky baby?
I was a US size 16 (UK SIze 18) , 7 years ago.
I gradually came down from a US size 16 (UK SIZE 18) to a US Size 12 (UK size 14). It took me 4 years to reach a US Size 12 and has maintained since.
I met my fiance as a US Size 12 (UK size 14). Within the last 4 months, I have reduced from a US Size 12 (UK size 14) to a US size 10 (UK size 12).

I used to weigh 78 KG, April this yr, but am currently 69/70KG.

na wa o.
does he know all these?

what exactly is he complaining about? is it your tummy, backside or where?
what was your response to him when he complained?

funkybaby:

you are a size 4   and you tag yourself 'fat'. WRONG!

girlfriend, you are skinny!  
Except you wear size 18 waist down

LMAO
18 downwards NOOOOOOO who i wan give?
am moderately small just one special place that needs that

I really dont see anything wrong in the guy telling her about her weight. the approach might not be ideal but certainly not out of it. For me honesty is most important. However, the guy shuld have defended poster when he was with his friends especially for someone he was about to marry.

remember that we all got choices. ladies (including poster) got their choices too so the guy is no loser because he doesnt want a fat girl. the guy only cares abt what people think of him and his wife. that would explain why the weight was no big deal till his friends mentioned it.

There are lots of guys who prefer orobo girls. So poster should know that she is hot and very much in the market. i have a friend with a lepa girl and he has also been telling her to add weight and she has tried to no avail.

Waoooo,

This seems to be a very delicate matter. Its a 'come once come all thing'

Girl, if na by age, na the thing dey make dey boy dey form not wanting, jus find ur way.
secondly, if na friend go decide for the boy wetin e go marry, (then the guy needs to grow up).

Thirdly, u need courtship in this marriage thing. u need not rush things.
However, the boy fit like u well well, but is highly influenced by friends.

so, be weary or be warned or jus play your part well my dear.

fantababy:

did u read my previous posts @ funky baby?
I was a US size 16 (UK SIze 18) , 7 years ago.
I gradually came down from a US size 16 (UK SIZE 18) to a US Size 12 (UK size 14). It took me 4 years to reach a US Size 12 and has maintained since.
I met my fiance as a US Size 12 (UK size 14). Within the last 4 months, I have reduced from a US Size 12 (UK size 14) to a US size 10 (UK size 12).

I used to weigh 78 KG, April this yr, but am currently 69/70KG.

Girl you should be commended for your efforts in trying to bring the weight down!! I just hope you are doing it for you and not for him, in the long run you will feel better about yourself and not give a damn what him or anyone else thinks about you!! And you are a size 10 for heavens sake!!!! Not big at all!!!

She is just 5"4.

And she must have the fat in the wrong places reason why it's so evident to her bf.

She should come down to at least 62kg.

@Poster, I would have appreciated it if there was a photo of you in your profile. This is a sensitive issue because there are some guys that are not into big gurls  but there is nothing to feel sad over because some people are naturally big. Try and cut down on the carbs if you can  and all the best on your forth coming Marriage.
             
_{You are beautiful no matter what they say, words can't bring you down}

michelin89:

She is just 5"4.

And she must have the fat in the wrong places reason why it's so evident to her bf.

i agree. considering her height . . . .

michelin89:

She should come down to at least 62kg.

it is not really about her weight in kilogramms but the distribution of body fat which must be proportional to her height, stature/posture.

she could be a size 12 and have fat thighs  

for a guy to tag size 12 as fat, then the fat must be in the wrong place

do not call off the relatnship.Consider sendin him a text like this:

My love,
I always wanted to love a man who will make me happy all the days of my life.
I love u for who u are and my happiness is my priority which I see in u. bla bla bla.
End with sweet words, and remind him that if his friends forsake him for their families,
shouldnt he fall back to the one he loves

this message is not meant to ask u to beg him for marriage but to REFRESH his love if there was one at 1st

funkybaby:

i agree. considering her height . . . .

it is not really about her weight in kilogramms but the distribution of body fat which must be proportional to her height, stature/posture.

she could be a size 12 and have fat thighs  

for a guy to tag size 12 as fat, then the fat must be in the wrong place

Exactly my point.

I am also 5"4 and have fat thighs. I know wetin I dey talk. A lot of girls weigh less than me and they are just about the same height, yet they have the fat belly syndrome.

Hi, sweet heart.
Thank God for you. I think he cares so much.Sincerely tell ua self the truth, dont be downcast.Marriage is all about trust and openness. give his comments a good shot and leave the rest to God.
U are a beautiful woman,take it that he wants u more beautiful.