This thread is solely for single women who are uncertain or having doubts about getting married. If you do not fall into that category, kindly leave. Ladies read to the end

I want to talk about love, money and marriage in present day Nigeria.

Which is more important? Money or love? Before you answer that question, please put it in mind that people do not fall in love anymore. They swipe left and right.
Every realist will agree with me that money is more important and arguably better than love. I mean have you seen poor people? If love is all you need to be happy in life, then poor people would be the happiest and most content people on the planet.
Love is endless? Ever heard of divorce? Money makes the world go round. Imagine waking up broke and hungry? Someone might say it doesn't matter, as long as they are happy. Are you going to go to the market and buy food with love?.
We've all heard of the world's richest people, ever heard of the world's most loving?

Love is real, agape love, platonic love(the kind you feel for your family and friends), but nowadays people are driven by self interest. No one falls in love anymore, they simply tolerate each other as long as a need is being satisfied. Wake up.

The purpose of this thread is to let you know that it's okay to stay single. That it's okay to not get married and I'll tell you why.

Staying single or unmarried leaves you financially, mentally, emotionally and physically better off.
(Apart from financial dependency, I would like someone to PLEASE give me a valid reason why one should get married in present day Nigeria).
Think about it, if you have your own money, why would you want to become a baby factory/maid/cook/object of satisfaction to a selfish man who thinks polygamy is his right? Or are you one of those people living under the illusion that getting married somehow opens doors of happiness and fulfilment? Try asking married people if they have found that happiness and fulfilment they are looking for.
My sister, focus on yourself and your life. Focus on getting independent. Stop thinking that marriage and "finding love or Mr right" is your sole purpose on this earth. Go and better yourself. Read those books, acquire those skills, get that job, earn that money, so that you don't have to put up with a man's bullshit and tell everyone "he provides for me and the kids. I don't care if he has a community penis"
If you have that money, you don't have to stick to that cheating scum bag, you don't have to endure domestic abuse which could be physical or emotiinal, you don't have to cater to an overgrown entitled man-child who more often than not, thinks with the head between his legs than the one on his shoulders.

Give a man financial independence, the next thing he thinks about is getting a new wife or girlfriend.
Give a woman the same financial independence, more often than not, she tries to shift relationships or marruage as far away from her as possible or relegate it to the background. What does this tell you? MARRIAGE IS MORE IMPORTANT TO MEN THAN WOMEN.
Society knows this. Subconsciously, men know it too. How do they keep women in check? They age shame you. They threaten you with Shiloh.They stigmatize you and make you believe that you are not normal. They try to manipulate you emotionally to believe that they are the best thing to happen to humanity since sliced bread. Ladies wake the fvck up. IT IS OKAY TO BE SINGLE OR UNMARRIED. This is the 21st century. Times are changing. Change with the times.

We're made to think that relationships, marriage, basically "getting and keeping a man" is the ultimate goal in life, but anyone who has been in a relationship can attest to the fact that it's not all it's cracked up to be. There are way more pros than con's in choosing to stay single or unmarried and here are some of them

-Freedom to focus on yourself. Being single frees up your schedule. It gives you time and opportunity to figure out what you want out of life. There's no husband or boyfriend that demands that you wake up by 5 or 6am to start making his breakfast.

-More opportunities to travel and experience other cultures. (This is something I plan on doing) When you get married, most of your dreams and aspirations get relegated to the background. You have to rearrange your life around him and the kids you might decide to have.

-Surround yourself with the people who matter most to you. Some people may counter this point by saying no one can make you feel the way a man can make you feel. In present day Nigeria? oh please. This is bull crap( remember, people don't fall in love anymore. They swipe left and right and try to find that person that ticks all or most of their boxes. This doesn't necessarily equate to love. They just tolerate each other cos the other person satisfies a certain need that they have. Over time they start to realize this more and more.).Someone might ask, "what about companionship?" Bull crap my friend. Between working, adultery and hanging with the boys, what time is he going to provide you with that companionship?

-You save money. Marriage ain't cheap mehn.

-You spend your time how YOU want.

-You tend to stay in shape when you're single than when you're married ( go and argue with your keyboard ). Marriage and relationship weight is real mehn.

-No petty arguments. I recently read a thread about how one man picked a fight with his wife cos she wasn't home on time to make him breakfast. This is someone who works at home and they live in Lagos. I mean come on. You're home , I believe you can make something to eat while madame battles with traffic.

-Explore new hobbies

-Experiment with your style. I know some of you have men in your lives who make you dress and look a certain way so that "your man will be hungry for you" lmao, one guy actually typed that in one thread.
When you're single, you get to try any clothing style you want without feeling the need to please anyone.

Last but not least, you get to customize your space. No worries about him dumping his dirty boxers on the floor or peeing all over the toilet seat without flushing.

Now, if you have read this far, please understand that I AM NOT IN ANY WAY DISCOURAGING YOUNG WOMEN FROM GETTING MARRIED nor is this a thread advocating for women's rights or equality.

This is simply ME telling YOU who is having doubt's about getting married that its the 21st freaking century and its OKAY to decide to stay single. Don't let any insecure or entitled man to age shame you or tell you that "las las na Shiloh go end am" .
Read
Build yourself
Empower yourself
Create your own happiness
I love you all.

Lalasticlala, dominique, would like more audience pls

I'd like to read ladies' thoughts on this

Ebonygirl1:
I'd like to read ladies' thoughts on this

Summarize and you will read lots of thought.

Ariza:
Summarize and you will read lots of thought.

Don't be lazy. Read it

Not a female, sorry to chime in...

What about the joy of having kids and watch them grow? (priceless)
What about the companionship, especially at old age?
You're only concentrating on the cons, what about the pros?

Have you ever bothered to find out the reason why majority of Internet scam victims are older white women?
Companionship!

Even with all the freedom.
Even with all the globetrotting
Even with all the independence, yet they still seek that one thing lacking in their lives...
love, companionship and above all, family!

When you're old and grey, who's gonna look after you wholeheartedly without putting their personal interests first?
Your money?
Strangers at care homes, who only do their jobs just to get paid?

I could go on and on and on.
I know what your problem is.
You haven't been around and lack proper exposure!

Trust me, when you've been around and experienced most of the things on your bucket list, you'd most likely re-evaluate your stance, and have a better perspective about life in general.

Until then...
Shalom!

Kingsteve:
Not a female, sorry to chime in...

What about the joy of having kids and watch them grow? (priceless)
What about the companionship, especially at old age?
You're only concentrating on the cons, what about the pros?

Have you ever bothered to find out the reason why majority of Internet scam victims are older white women?
Companionship!

Even with all the freedom.
Even with all the globetrotting
Even with all the independence, yet they still seek that one thing lacking in their lives...
love, companionship and above all, family!

When you're old and grey, who's gonna look after you wholeheartedly without putting their personal interests first?
Your money?
Strangers at care homes, who only do their jobs just to get paid?

I could go on and on and on.
I know what your problem is.
You haven't been around and lack proper exposure!

Trust me, when you've been around and experienced most of the things on your bucket list, you'd most likely re-evaluate your stance, and have a better perspective about life in general.

Until then...
Shalom!

The subject matter of the thread is marriage, not children. Last time I checked, there are Other ways to have children. One can always adopt or have an artificial insemination if one truly desires children. On companion, I stated that one can surround oneself with family and friends. Myself for example, I come from a large family, so having a loved one around me is truly not a problem. Plus the average nigerian married man doesnt offer companionship. And on the internet scam thing, what survey did you carry out to determine that older women are scammed more? older men are just as desperate for love as the women,if not, why are a majority of the "females" on dating sites and public forums actually guys masquerading as girls? Its cos its easier to deceive and scam men than women, so that point has no backing.

Ebonygirl1:


The subject matter of the thread is marriage, not children. Last time I checked, there are Other ways to have children. One can always adopt or have an artificial insemination if one truly desires children. On companion, I stated that one can surround oneself with family and friends. Myself for example, I come from a large family, so having a loved one around me is truly not a problem. And on the internet scam thing, what survey did you carry out to determine that older women are scammed more? older men are just as desperate for love as the women, so that point has no backing.

So you honestly think when you're old and grey, other family members will have all the time in the world to cater for your needs, when they also have theirs to take care of?

You're basically implying that you've already made up your mind to be a liability to other family members just because of your selfishness?

What if all the female family members decide not to marry and follow your school of thought, who's gonna take care of you lot at that critical age?
Am I making sense?

Do you know what it takes to care for someone old, and probably with ailments to compound it?


About the scam thing.
I've been around and I know people that know people...
I know people who were into it back in the day.
Their targets were mostly older women who lacked love and companionship in their lives.

These women needed it so badly, it made them vulnerable to scammers.
What do you think all these boys do in Malaysia?
They specialise mostly in love scams, and dupe unsuspecting women of their monies all in the name of love.
I don't need a survey to know the modus operandi of these yahoo boys.

Anyway, whatever floats your boat though!
Just felt I should chime in.
If marriage isn't your thing, by all means...
Enjoy!

Kingsteve:



So you honestly think when you're old and grey, other family members will have all the time in the world to cater for your needs, when they also have theirs to take care of?

You're basically implying that you've already made up your mind to be a liability to other family members just because of your selfishness?

What if all the female family members decide not to marry and follow your school of thought, who's gonna take care of you lot at that critical age?
Am I making sense?

Do you know what it takes to care for someone old, and probably with ailments to compound it?


About the scam thing.
I've been around and I know people that know people...
I know people who were into it back in the day.
Their targets were mostly older women who lacked love and companionship in their lives.

These women needed it so badly, it made them vulnerable to scammers.
What do you think all these boys do in Malaysia?
They specialise mostly in love scams, and dupe unsuspecting women of their monies all in the name of love.
I don't need a survey to know the modus operandi of these yahoo boys.

Anyway, whatever floats your boat though!
Just felt I should chime in.
If marriage isn't your thing, by all means...
Enjoy!

I do not plan on being a liability to anyone in old age. I believe you will agree with me that not all old people suffer from diseases and need people to constantly take care of them. I happen to know a number of old people in my hometown, whose children live in the city. Some of them even have energy to do farm work and live healthy lives. So saying one must have someone to care for them physically in old age is not always true. My post is not discouraging marriage. It is simply telling people that marriage is not compulsory for one to be fulfilled or live a good life.

Since you believe children are meant to take care of you when you're old, like I earlier stated, the option of adoption or artificial insemination is always there.

You really made great points though.
Actually i wonder how married women are coping in this biased society!!! A society where male have more privileges than woman!
A society where a man can marry has many wives as he wants bt the lady can't do the same!
A society where they have no problem with married men cheating bt if a married woman did that everyone will descend on her!
A society that doesn't recognize marital rape!! They believe women have no right to her body bt her husband does!
A society that makes marriage looks like a benefit for only women!!! It's makes me laugh how Nigerian men think they doing ladies favour by marrying them when it's actually opposite!!!

Ebonygirl1:


I do not plan on being a liability to anyone in old age. I believe you will agree with me that not all old people suffer from diseases and need people to constantly take care of them. I happen to know a number of old people in my hometown, whose children live in the city. Some of them even have energy to do farm work and live healthy lives. So saying one must have someone to care for them physically in old age is not always true. My post is not discouraging marriage. It is simply telling people that marriage is not compulsory for one to be fulfilled or live a good life.

If marriage isn't necessary, why was Eve created?
Companionship!


'nuff said!

Kingsteve:


If marriage isn't necessary, why was Eve created?
Companionship!


'nuff said!

Lmfao. Really? Men and their double standards. Today they are praising ubun.ja for liberating them from pussy worship and swallowing red pills, tomorrow they are claiming marriage is necessary because God created eve for companionship

Ebonygirl1:

Lmfao. Really? Men and their double standards. Today they are praising ubun.ja for liberating them from pussy worship and swallowing red pills, tomorrow they are claiming marriage is necessary because God created eve for companionship

Don't digress!
And for the record, I have never subscribed to any of that redpill bullshit!

Ubunja?
Naa....not a fan, never will.
He can attest to that!

Pettyprincess:
You really made great points though.
Actually i wonder how married women are coping in this biased society!!! A society where male have more privileges than woman!
A society where a man can marry has many wives as he wants bt the lady can't do the same!
A society where they have no problem with married men cheating bt if a married woman did that everyone will descend on her!
A society that doesn't recognize marital rape!! They believe women have no right to her body bt her husband does!
A society that makes marriage looks like a benefit for only women!!! It's makes me laugh how Nigerian men think they doing ladies favour by marrying them when it's actually opposite!!!

You can actually set d pace you know, 1st stop gold diggin that maga u call BF.
Go n work ,make money when you own a house like linda ikeji mansion look for men in ur state of origin pay there groom price wed them under one roof ... how you get pregnant 4dem same time is ur business. stop usin the society as excuse try it. pple we talk n shut there mouth
Does the society believe in men been raped by women.. does d society not call dem weakling .. or doesnt it happen.
If you had a gud dad or a responsible one @that u will knw why d society thinks women are beneficiary of marriage, most rented houses were built by men buh more are now owned by landladies

lilwetdick:
Bi like say the op drink Monkey tail to write this long gabbage.

abeg women should live their lives as they please, what i hate in this life is people setting rules for others that they wont also obey

No one is setting any rules for anyone. Seems you didnt comprehend anything there. The summary of the whole thing is that young women who don't want to get married, shouldn't feel pressured or obligated by society into doing it thinking they will find some kind of happiness or fulfilment in it. Get it?

Ebonygirl1:


No one is setting any rules for anyone. Seems you didnt comprehend anything there. The summary of the whole thing is that young women who don't want to get married, shouldn't feel pressured or obligated by society into doing it thinking they will find some kind of happiness or fulfilment in it. Get it?

i comprehended this long espitles but come to think of it, how many women in Nigeria can afford the lifestyle you wrote about,anyway, having a husband is like escaping poverty and having financial freedom for many single women. so stop deceiving yourself.

this are just ideals for idealistic people at the end of the day reality sets in.

lilwetdick:


i comprehended this long espitles but come to think of it, how many women in Nigeria can afford the lifestyle you wrote about,anyway, having a husband is like escaping poverty and having financial freedom for many single women. so stop deceiving yourself.

Lmao. I guess we don't have independent women with jobs in Nigeria anymore. I clearly emphasized the need for women to get financially liberated from men oga. So what are you saying?

Ebonygirl1:


Lmao. I guess we don't have independent women with jobs in Nigeria anymore. I clearly emphasized the need for women to get financially liberated from men oga. So what are you saying?

madam, how Nigerian women are independent?

how many of them want Financial freedom?

how many of them want to work the work to achieve that financial freedom

Answer: only very few like 0.1%

even in year 2100, many Nigerian women will still depend on Nigerian men for cash. take it or leave it

lilwetdick:


madam, how Nigerian women are independent?

how many of them want Financial freedom?

how many of them want to work the work to achieve that financial freedom

Answer: only very few like 0.1%

even in year 2100, many Nigerian women will still depend on Nigerian men for cash. take it or leave it

There are many women who depend on men for money, agreed.
In the midst of all that, there are also women who work and earn their money. There are young ladies who are working hard to empower themselves, no matter how deep in denial you are of this fact. My post is simply encouraging these ladies in particular to continue and not depend on anyone who will mistreat her just because he's giving her money.
Goodnight.

Ebonygirl1:


There are many women who depend on men for money, agreed.
In the midst of all that, there are also women who work and earn their money. There are young ladies who are working hard to empower themselves, no matter how deep in denial you are of this fact. My post is simply encouraging these ladies in particular to continue and not depend on anyone who will mistreat her just because he's giving her money.
Goodnight.

the problem with you is thinking that men are always the problem, men arent the problem, you are the problem,

i am not in denial of single young women working hard to empower themselves, there are but very few.

danke

Clearly, this OP has gone nuts!

Madam, who cares if you got married or not?

For your information, that is strictly your problem alone...

Nonsense.

Ebonygirl1:
This thread is solely for single women who are uncertain or having doubts about getting married. If you do not fall into that category, kindly leave. Ladies read to the end

I want to talk about love, money and marriage in present day Nigeria.

Which is more important? Money or love? Before you answer that question, please put it in mind that people do not fall in love anymore. They swipe left and right.
Every realist will agree with me that money is more important and arguably better than love. I mean have you seen poor people? If love is all you need to be happy in life, then poor people would be the happiest and most content people on the planet.
Love is endless? Ever heard of divorce? Money makes the world go round. Imagine waking up broke and hungry? Someone might say it doesn't matter, as long as they are happy. Are you going to go to the market and buy food with love?.
We've all heard of the world's richest people, ever heard of the world's most loving?

Love is real, agape love, platonic love(the kind you feel for your family and friends), but nowadays people are driven by self interest. No one falls in love anymore, they simply tolerate each other as long as a need is being satisfied. Wake up.

The purpose of this thread is to let you know that it's okay to stay single. That it's okay to not get married and I'll tell you why.

Staying single or unmarried leaves you financially, mentally, emotionally and physically better off.
(Apart from financial dependency, I would like someone to PLEASE give me a valid reason why one should get married in present day Nigeria).
Think about it, if you have your own money, why would you want to become a baby factory/maid/cook/object of satisfaction to a selfish man who thinks polygamy is his right? Or are you one of those people living under the illusion that getting married somehow opens doors of happiness and fulfilment? Try asking married people if they have found that happiness and fulfilment they are looking for.
My sister, focus on yourself and your life. Focus on getting independent. Stop thinking that marriage and "finding love or Mr right" is your sole purpose on this earth. Go and better yourself. Read those books, acquire those skills, get that job, earn that money, so that you don't have to put up with a man's bullshit and tell everyone "he provides for me and the kids. I don't care if he has a community penis"
If you have that money, you don't have to stick to that cheating scum bag, you don't have to endure domestic abuse which could be physical or emotiinal, you don't have to cater to an overgrown entitled man-child who more often than not, thinks with the head between his legs than the one on his shoulders.

Give a man financial independence, the next thing he thinks about is getting a new wife or girlfriend.
Give a woman the same financial independence, more often than not, she tries to shift relationships or marruage as far away from her as possible or relegate it to the background. What does this tell you? MARRIAGE IS MORE IMPORTANT TO MEN THAN WOMEN.
Society knows this. Subconsciously, men know it too. How do they keep women in check? They age shame you. They threaten you with Shiloh.They stigmatize you and make you believe that you are not normal. They try to manipulate you emotionally to believe that they are the best thing to happen to humanity since sliced bread. Ladies wake the fvck up. IT IS OKAY TO BE SINGLE OR UNMARRIED. This is the 21st century. Times are changing. Change with the times.

We're made to think that relationships, marriage, basically "getting and keeping a man" is the ultimate goal in life, but anyone who has been in a relationship can attest to the fact that it's not all it's cracked up to be. There are way more pros than con's in choosing to stay single or unmarried and here are some of them

-Freedom to focus on yourself. Being single frees up your schedule. It gives you time and opportunity to figure out what you want out of life. There's no husband or boyfriend that demands that you wake up by 5 or 6am to start making his breakfast.

-More opportunities to travel and experience other cultures. (This is something I plan on doing) When you get married, most of your dreams and aspirations get relegated to the background. You have to rearrange your life around him and the kids you might decide to have.

-Surround yourself with the people who matter most to you. Some people may counter this point by saying no one can make you feel the way a man can make you feel. In present day Nigeria? oh please. This is bull crap( remember, people don't fall in love anymore. They swipe left and right and try to find that person that ticks all or most of their boxes. This doesn't necessarily equate to love. They just tolerate each other cos the other person satisfies a certain need that they have. Over time they start to realize this more and more.).Someone might ask, "what about companionship?" Bull crap my friend. Between working, adultery and hanging with the boys, what time is he going to provide you with that companionship?

-You save money. Marriage ain't cheap mehn.

-You spend your time how YOU want.

-You tend to stay in shape when you're single than when you're married ( go and argue with your keyboard ). Marriage and relationship weight is real mehn.

-No petty arguments. I recently read a thread about how one man picked a fight with his wife cos she wasn't home on time to make him breakfast. This is someone who works at home and they live in Lagos. I mean come on. You're home , I believe you can make something to eat while madame battles with traffic.

-Explore new hobbies

-Experiment with your style. I know some of you have men in your lives who make you dress and look a certain way so that "your man will be hungry for you" lmao, one guy actually typed that in one thread.
When you're single, you get to try any clothing style you want without feeling the need to please anyone.

Last but not least, you get to customize your space. No worries about him dumping his dirty boxers on the floor or peeing all over the toilet seat without flushing.

Now, if you have read this far, please understand that I AM NOT IN ANY WAY DISCOURAGING YOUNG WOMEN FROM GETTING MARRIED nor is this a thread advocating for women's rights or equality.

This is simply ME telling YOU who is having doubt's about getting married that its the 21st freaking century and its OKAY to decide to stay single. Don't let any insecure or entitled man to age shame you or tell you that "las las na Shiloh go end am" .
Read
Build yourself
Empower yourself
Create your own happiness
I love you all.

Lalasticlala, dominique, would like more audience pls

How old are u?