Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Hermionegranger(f): 11:04pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
dannyla:
Hmmmm, My mom was deflowered by a rapist and all she ever asked of me was to get married as a virgin. Till today, she doesn't know that I was raped too. She once told me she will die a sad woman if I don't keep her request. My father died when I was a girl. My mother sold her clothes to raise us. If I leave, he'll tell her I'm not a virgin anymore and she will never have that peace she has now. I can't watch my mum suffer for something she didn't do. My mum once used to be hypertensive. What if it comes back due to shock? My aunt used to mock my mom over the rape before our very eyes and my mum simply told her that one wasn't her fault but her children will marry honourably. My mother's pride is the reason I let the rapist walk free. This man knows and will tell everyone.
I'm not yet strong enough to relocate us very far away or foot any drastic bill. That's a major reason I've been tolerating. The advise from those around me doesn't help either. That's why I seek public opinion If you want to prevent this, gather courage and tell your mum your experience by yourself. It would sound better coming from you than him. If you really want to fulfill your mother's wish of marrying honourably please RUN FROM THIS MAN. He's the textbook definition of a narcissist. He'll murder you one day and marry someone else to replace you. He might not even wait until you're dead to do so. If you want to know what your future with him would look like when you marry him, then I strongly advice you to just google about the experiences of people who suffered narcissistic abuse from their spouses. Maybe it would open your eyes and help you see the kind of person you want to involve yourself with. I repeat RUN FROM THIS MAN. I pray God gives you the strength to do so 1 Like |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by frozen70(f): 11:04pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
dannyla: I opened a new account to remain anonymous. This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.
I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace. He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.
He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.
Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.
Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.
He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s. I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.
Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.
3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.
He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.
I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.
I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.
He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit? Thanks for reading and pardon any typos
This is the right time for you to decide if you are going to gamble with your life or stay there for your corpse tol be brought out Pls leave that man, he has attitude problems Once you give birth for him, you can't leave his home but your suffering will double All those begging you to stay can't endure or tolerate his attitude He gave you a condition to stop your business and stay tat home He is planet disarm you because he knows that, your source of income is your strength Pls take a decision that will save your life, that thing he called marriage is worst than prison 1 Like |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by paul100(m): 11:04pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
Hmmmmm,soon that knock on your head will change to blow, |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Yankee101: 11:04pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
You better run away for your life |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by rottennaija(m): 11:05pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
dannyla: I opened a new account to remain anonymous. This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.
I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace. He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.
He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.
Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.
Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.
He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s. I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.
Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.
3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.
He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.
I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.
I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.
He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit? Thanks for reading and pardon any typos
If what you are saying is 80% true. I'm a guy but I'm advising you to quit the relationship. It's not going to get any better. Of course, I'm only hearing your own side. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Roon9(m): 11:05pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
slyfoxxjoe: I tell you. That’s not love. It’s obsession. Men like this usually have low self esteem in themselves.. they need a woman to validate their own sense of self worth and that’s why they feel threatened by the slightest interaction that woman has with another male. I can’t beleive she narrated this whole story and still does not know what to do. Are there really women this dumb? Have seen.... Women can rationalise anything. Total madness |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by godwon01(m): 11:05pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
I think this guy loves U but he can not stand seeing U with another guy. Secondly the nature of your job is another threat. There is no future in the relationship. U are not honest according to your story. I could notice some bizarre points which denote that U were not a straight forward lady. U will definitely cheat on him If U finally settled down with him. So ,let him go on his way. I wish U best of luck in your next relationship. Don't get hook through a third party next time. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Nobody: 11:06pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
Frankyboy1:
God bless you for this, you are so smart and full of godly wisdom
Amen. Thanks ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) 1 Like |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by wirinet(m): 11:06pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
dannyla:
Hmmmm, My mom was deflowered by a rapist and all she ever asked of me was to get married as a virgin. Till today, she doesn't know that I was raped too. She once told me she will die a sad woman if I don't keep her request. My father died when I was a girl. My mother sold her clothes to raise us. If I leave, he'll tell her I'm not a virgin anymore and she will never have that peace she has now. I can't watch my mum suffer for something she didn't do. My mum once used to be hypertensive. What if it comes back due to shock? My aunt used to mock my mom over the rape before our very eyes and my mum simply told her that one wasn't her fault but her children will marry honourably. My mother's pride is the reason I let the rapist walk free. This man knows and will tell everyone.
I'm not yet strong enough to relocate us very far away or foot any drastic bill. That's a major reason I've been tolerating. The advise from those around me doesn't help either. That's why I seek public opinion Sorry for your predicament. It's part of life. I hope you listen to honest neutral advice here and dump the fool. If you think you are having emotional issues now, wait until you marry him, your troubles will multiply a hundred fold. First you need to come clean with your mum. First you need to go closer to her and talk to her about everything going on in your life, then gradually let her know you were raped. Don't hammer it straight like that, you can start by letting her know you are no longer a virgin. If you marry the guy, he will hold this information over your head like an albatross. It's a pity you do not understand the meaning of love, else you would not have belched out "he loves me to death", love does not include violence, blackmail, intimidation, distrust and possessiveness. He is looking for a possession and not a wife. 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by jumper524(m): 11:06pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
dannyla: I opened a new account to remain anonymous. This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.
I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace. He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.
He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.
Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.
Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.
He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s. I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.
Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.
3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.
He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.
I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.
I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.
He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit? Thanks for reading and pardon any typos
I believe you spoke more on his flaws so there's definately a good side of him which keeps you forgiving him but l must warn you any individual man or woman that listens to too much gossips hardly ever find peace in his life.. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by spiralwedge(m): 11:07pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
mimimile93: if u talk dis gal away frm marryin dis man hope u wil marry her? Cos men are rare. Rememba it took hr ages to get dis 1. Only mared men always com hr way This is a disgusting comment. Please don't let me use worse words. Because of marriage, she should stay in a toxic relationship? Na wa o. Smh |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Happyguy201: 11:07pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
My dear don't mind anybody telling you to leave him ask them if you leave him will they give you a loving and caring boyfriend ? Answer is no . Most times guys behave this way if you give them a reason to feel that your flirting with other guys just sit him down and assure him of your love and sincerity if truly your not cheating . Trust me he will change. A man that doesnt love you with not care what you do . Good luck and I hope everything works out for you . |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Nobody: 11:09pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
You are seeing all the red flags and you are u still there ok wait till he plucks out ur eyes or cripples u 1 Like |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Ibfpleasant(m): 11:09pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
Seems age is not by your side anymore and you are so desperate to get married that you don’t even care for a beast.. if you eventually get married with this man with passuasion from your family and friends, Belive me, this guy will beat hell out of your life dump your ass.. run and run for your dear life |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by benjijosh(m): 11:10pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
Red flag. Don't even try to settle. You clearly don't love this man. He is not your future partner.
Don't fall victim. Go your separate ways. |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by wirinet(m): 11:10pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
Happyguy201: My dear don't mind anybody telling you to leave him ask them if you leave him will they give you a loving and caring boyfriend ? Answer is no . Most times guys behave this way if you give them a reason to feel that your flirting with other guys just sit him down and assure him of your love and sincerity if truly your not cheating . Trust me he will change. A man that doesnt love you with not care what you do . Good luck and I hope everything works out for you . Are you serious? Marry a guy that is violent even before paying her bride price? Would you advice your daughter to marry someone that knocks her on the head. If you try that against my daughter, I will kill you. 3 Likes |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by giles14(m): 11:11pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
You are really an idiot.
Pls when you both eventually get married and he kills you be rest assured I will send my condolences over to your people. |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by omobacyprus(m): 11:11pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
I don't know if this is love or stupidity. That relationship is way too toxic. He lied and swears with his life, beats you, quick to anger. Is it until you marry him and give you lifetime scars you'll smart?
You also need to learn to take your stand you're not a kid. He'll come and beg again you'll give in. I pity you really. |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Hardeybaryor(m): 11:11pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
Iamstrange has dealt with this matter thoroughly. I won't actually ask you to run but I'll advise you to fly away from that relationship |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Okoroawusa: 11:11pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
Tell Grace to remind me when your burial ceremony is up... Look at your mouth like "he loves you to a fault"
Ozu!!! |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by sharpman1(m): 11:12pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
dannyla: I opened a new account to remain anonymous. This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.
I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace. He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.
He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.
Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.
Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.
He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s. I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.
Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.
3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.
He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.
I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.
I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.
He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit? Thanks for reading and pardon any typos
Madam. Please RUN for your life. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by MzTunechi(f): 11:12pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
He's toxic, insecure, possessive, hot tempered, violent, lying prvck, and what he feels for you is definitely not love. So advice yourself! Bye. |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by LilMissFavvy(f): 11:12pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
There is a difference between love and obsession. Your marriage to him will be a disaster, except you just wanna marry, HAVE KIDS, and dump him. He has seen a young successful lady that he wants to dominate and oppress, if that is what you want, fine. |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by ugodson(m): 11:12pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
Its true is a man is not jealous he doesnt love you, but jealousy has levels your guys own is DEADLY sister. Sorry to say this o, but dis is the kind of man that can kill you. My sister don't worry you will find love genuine love. FREE URSELF FROM HIM |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by hadduni(f): 11:13pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
midolian: Women! The stories they tell will always be in their favour. There must be a reason you are finding it hard to call it quit. Think about that reason deeply...
There is also something terrible about you that you need to change. if he is not comfortable with your closeness with some men, then cut the off! if our can't, it means there is more to that dirty relationship you are keeping with them.
Telling him everything about you is a good thing but it has consequences. some of the consequence is what you are seeing now. When you tell a real man everything about you before the start of the relationship, he will be ready to accept you for who you are, regardless of the mistakes you made in the story narrated...He will become so protective that he wouldn't want to give room for such things to happen in your life again..if you are now behaving like you don't see those mistakes as any Biggie, then he will call you names and the respect he has for you will begin to diminish till it dies...
If you are sure he loves you, madam, change your ways. There is no Excuse for abuse! |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by atmstyle: 11:13pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
dannyla: I opened a new account to remain anonymous. This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.
I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace. He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.
He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.
Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.
Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.
He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s. I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.
Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.
3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.
He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.
I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.
I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.
He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit? Thanks for reading and pardon any typos
You are making a mistake. Allow Grace take him. Are those other people going to be there when he has finally paid a dowry on your head and you are finally in his home? It is still early... 1 Like |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by bossrillboss: 11:14pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
pls hurry and marry him u hear ba.as u no wan get sense,u go get am later.na part one u dey so,part two go worse o.u beta vamose from dat lion u called ur lover. |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by SniperSmurf(m): 11:14pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
Females dey suffer o. The guy physically knock your head four times ![](/faces/huh.png) ? ![](/faces/huh.png) Break up with him or else he will kill you and tie white handkerchief on your body like a serial killer ![sad](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/sad.png) This tory sound like bait tho.
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Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Emma1Oj(m): 11:14pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
dannyla: I opened a new account to remain anonymous. This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.
I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace. He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.
He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.
Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.
Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.
He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s. I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.
Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.
3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.
He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.
I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.
I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.
He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit? Thanks for reading and pardon any typos
In summary Madam. I feel u don't kn what u want and the value of your happiness! |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Happyguy201: 11:15pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
wirinet:
Are you serious? Marry a guy that is violent even before paying her bride price? Would you advice your daughter to marry someone that knocks her on the head. If you try that against my daughter, I will kill you. You will get your head blown off before you kill me trust me on that one my nigga ordinary knocking and she's is complaining do you know what she might have done to push the guy .I'm sure your one of those pussy niggas |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Crunchy12(m): 11:15pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
Run for your life. These are the danger signs, choose to ignore them at your own peril. A word for the wise is enough... |
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by damoobaba: 11:16pm On Dec 16, 2019 |
dannyla: I opened a new account to remain anonymous. This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.
I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace. He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.
He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.
Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.
Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.
He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s. I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.
Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.
3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.
He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.
I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.
I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.
He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit? Thanks for reading and pardon any typos
If all you said here is true, then your stupidity is outta this world.Why women Mumu like this, until he kills you with knock b4 you know you're dating a violent man. You need to be delivered from stupidity first. |