Well; no long stories; its not bad but because we are humans and we know we are pretty unpredictable. You don't wanna covet another man's wife; You don't wanna take yourself back in time and repeat all the stress you went through when she left.

You are just experiencing this but some of us had more than one instance. What do we do? We stopped living in fantasy lands and we move on.

Its all in your head and you gotta get a grip and let her go; she's long gone- you know. Now; you are toying around with another man's wife.

armyofone:

stop taking her calls. let her leave you a msg after 20 unanswered messages, she will go away.
by the way, ask of how she is doing, hubby/kids instead of allowing her to rabble or go into the memory lane. when she is done talking, tell her your gf/fiance is on the other line that you will call her back then hug up.

you are in UK so you should know better bo

Poster,block her from ur friends list @ FBK.
Blacklist her number then delete it.
Move on with ur life.
While u both are reminiscing abt the good times of the past,dont forget there is a man and probably kids involved.
Besides,whats so special with ex's that people these days seem to be fixated with them
Nothing good wud come out of any relationship with an ex,not to talk of a married ex.

There is only one solution this.
quench the fire before it consumes you.[color=#990000][/color]
the thing wey dey sweet dey kill.[b][/b]

ifyalways:

While u both are reminiscing abt the good times of the past,dont forget there is a man and probably kids involved.

She would most likely get her fix somewhere else if not with him.

Her marriage to the man is virtually doomed at this stage.

The danger of ex's coming back to start communicating is that it might ignite old passion
and it can lead to one partner trying to accomplish an unfinished business.
So, BEWARE.

Sagamite:

She would most likely get her fix somewhere else if not with him.

Her marriage to the man is virtually doomed at this stage.

True . . .But let it be the next man.

Fidelo726:

The danger of ex's coming back to start communicating is that it might ignite old passion
and it can lead to one partner trying to accomplish an unfinished business.
So, BEWARE.

why are married folks still communicating with ex's?
If the ex was so good,why the break up?I just don't get it.

ifyalways:

why are married folks still communicating with ex's?
If the ex was so good,why the break up?I just don't get it.

If he has spent the 5 years with her, he has most likely developed the protector complex.

He would have a little thing still left in him that kinda of urges him to protect her, to make sure everything is OK, worry about how things are going or would end with her. Even though the responsibility should be someoneelse's, the fact she is calling him would make him feel like it is an indirect call for help.

Yeah But there should be a limit dont get too close

@op, gradually withdraw from her. You can be very good friends with married people of the opposite sex but there's a reason why exes are exes. They were confused then, you'll be confused now.

eghost247:

Yeah But there should be a limit dont get too close

True!

vescucci:

@op, gradually withdraw from her. You can be very good friends with married people of the opposite sex but there's a reason why exes are exes. They were confused then, you'll be confused now.

Word!

IF THEY MEET SUDDENLY THEY CAN CHIT CHAT AND EXCHANGE PLEASANTRIES.

NOTHING MORE BEYOND THAT.

dayokanu:

what did i do eh,
how are you

Freezing here, Superbowl weekend and snow everywhere.

Waiting for you to come over and lets keep warm together

You dont need to keep discussing anything with her, not even for anything. Her new man might just be the non-tolerative type and can overhear you guys since its based on you people's past, please let sleeping dogs lie, it will not be of good to either of you to break up now, she is attached to a soul now, let them enjoy themselves, tell her to create time for her new man, Pls let her be.

OP, are you still around?

people should watch Casablanca already.

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine

Captain Louis Renault (Claude Rains)

What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?


Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart)

My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.


Captain Louis Renault (Claude Rains)

The waters? What waters? We're in the desert!


Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart)

I was misinformed.

i'm not implying any gay connections, thanks.

no

back off, since she is now getting emotional (atleast it sounds so).

that's a big problem nowadays that women aren't patient anymore. The hardworking underdogs are always overlooked.

Anyway please stop talking to her abeg you are providing a much needed distraction and if she is getting emotional you really don't want that attachment. also if she left you because you didn't have enough who says where you are now will satisfy her? please don't even think about it.

She chose her path you followed yours. Don't go back.

Remembering is all you should do. if it was your wife talking with her xx the way you guys do how will you feel?

You really don't want a woman's emotional wahala o.

Ipsi:

that's a big problem nowadays that women aren't patient anymore. The hardworking underdogs are always overlooked.

I also don't know why!

Ipsi:

Anyway please stop talking to her abeg you are providing a much needed distraction and if she is getting emotional you really don't want that attachment. also if she left you because you didn't have enough who says where you are now will satisfy her? please don't even think about it.

True!

Ipsi:

She chose her path you followed yours. Don't go back.

Word !!!

Ipsi:

Remembering is all you should do.

Exactly!

Ipsi:

if it was your wife talking with her xx the way you guys do how will you feel?

Million $$$$$$ question!

Ipsi:

You really don't want a woman's emotional wahala o.

Am telling you !!!


Nice post, Ipsi!

The million naira question is, "OP what do you want from her?"
If you are not wishing things were different btw the two of you,
then you have nothing to worry about.
In that case, you can simply tell her about the wonderful relationship you are in
(even if there's none).
That way you've subtly informed her that nothing can transpire btw both of you

But if you find out you want something from her... then there's trouble
You can decide to save everybody pains by ignoring what you ache for
and start reducing the frequency of the calls...
Or you can damn everyone and jump into the hot cauldron with both feet.
That way you'll come out scarred & you'll have broken a marriage.

persist: I have been 'disengaged' from a lady for over two years now after dating her for like 5 yrs. She decided to marry another person cause she thought I was not ready financially and mentally for the marriage. I now reside in the UK and we got in contact again on face-book and started exchanging messages (Just pleasantries) .Of recent she dropped me her phone number and I decided to call her after much rumination. We started gisting and got talking about why she left and said I might not be where I am today if I did not leave her and stuffs.

It is now 3 days now and she want us to talk every day and when we do we discuss the past and the good times we had together (She started the gist). I am wondering if contacting her and discussing issues like this could have a negative impact on her or her relationship.

I like her so much but she is gone and I wouldn't want a broken marriage for her no matter what. I am disturbed hope contacting her can not be disastrous to her or even me.

Sincerely, i would have said there is nothing wrong with an occasional hello, hi once in a while, but in this your case, I would suggest you back off. it's clear she hasn't gotten over you. Twas circumstances that made her move on when she did. Before you know it, she will start regretting her actions and comparing you with her hubby. I hope she has a good home right now, if not, you can break her marriage.