Wives oya comment. I thought una say till death do us part??

Before till death do us apart


Now till money finish ni o

Stop making mockery of sensetive issues like this
No one goes to marriage to get divorced and no child was born with the intentions of being in a broken marriage

Go and get married and experience what it is

Do you want the husband to kill her
Marriage is not for every one yet we insist.divorce is the end product


Marriage is an individual choice and not a collective one. The government has no business regulating how I use my genital.  It is mine and mine alone.  I decide who I choose to get married to . I can decide to share it with a single person or a married person.  It is  my freedom to choose to be a celibate or be married.   While married, I decide with my partner whether to make it open relationship or monogamy.

Marriage is not for everyone. There are people who are happier single. I mean those who are do introverted that they cannot tolerate a very long time without feeling drained. There are people who prefer long distance relationship with few visits and frequent absence rather than continued presence.  those whose high attention sexual urge cannot be satisfied by any one individual. There are others who dislike the boredom of sticking to one  partner scares the hell out of them. Variety is the spice of life.The fun of experimenting with various sizes and  types thrills them. There are yet another group whose need for independence and freedom makes them dislike the idea of  consulting with another before making decision.  There is another group that  love to be in motion. They wake up one morning and decide to relocate to another state only to explore another culture the next year. Traveling is their hobby and getting married with kids hinders that . Settling down is like a death trap. Flowing water is cleaner. Stagnant water attracts mosquitoes and other microorganism.

Human needs are various. the concept of getting married does not fit into their ideal future. They are better off single or in an open relationship. imposing  monogamy marriage on them will choke them. Their partner and children would suffer . Cheating is bound to occur. The fact that cheating still exist means we should question the effectiveness of monogamy and possibility of open marriage.

Investment experts would advice you never to put all your eggs in one basket to mitigate against risk. Economic  expert suggest diversification and not depending on only crude oil. Why don’t we  Apply  the same analogy to our own emotional life.   Risk is mitigated when we stop expecting one person to be our confident, sexual satisfier ,friend, mother of children etc. Can we consider open marriage and celibacy as alternative to monogamy

.https://tobechispeaks./2020/09/19/why-is-monogamy-considered-natural/

frozen70:
Stop making mockery of sensetive issues like this
No one goes to marriage to get divorced and no child was born with the intentions of being in a broken marriage

Go and get married and experience what it is

There is a statistical trend of a high percentage of divorcees even when the husband is not abusive or violent - in many instances the wives are extremely religious.... I'm trying to understand why a woman with children will wake up one day and say she is no longer doing.....

BigBashiru:


There is a statistical trend of a high percentage of divorcees even when the husband is not abusive or violent - in many instances the wives are extremely religious.... I'm trying to understand why a woman with children will wake up one day and say she is no longer doing.....

Yes, I have also observed the growing trend of such divorce cases. My guess is, some of these women want kids, companionship, but not marriage. However, they can’t say it with their full chest in a country like Nigeria and they know the long run effect of having these kids from various men. So they go into marriages and leave after having kids. It isn’t a coincidence that they always have kids first. Better a divorcee than babymama.

Anyway, it shouldn’t be much of a problem that women are leaving marriages. After all, men claim to gain nothing from marriage and are also not interested in marrying Nigerian women anymore.

pocohantas:


Yes, I have also observed the growing trend of such divorce cases. My guess is, some of these women want kids, companionship, but not marriage. However, they can’t say it with their full chest in a country like Nigeria and they know the long run effect of having these kids from various men. So they go into marriages and leave after having kids. It isn’t a coincidence that they always have kids first. Better a divorcee than babymama.

Anyway, it shouldn’t be much of a problem that women are leaving marriages. After all, men claim to gain nothing from marriage and are also not interested in marrying Nigerian women anymore.

So they have the companionship with different men after divorce?

Not surprised at the trend.

frozen70:
Stop making mockery of sensetive issues like this
No one goes to marriage to get divorced and no child was born with the intentions of being in a broken marriage

Go and get married and experience what it is

Sadly, not everyone marries for 'forever'.

Some do it to leave the spinster/bachelor group. Some to have 'legitimate kids.'

The kids and the partner 'deceived' of the other's intent are the victims.

pocohantas:


Yes, I have also observed the growing trend of such divorce cases. My guess is, some of these women want kids, companionship, but not marriage. However, they can’t say it with their full chest in a country like Nigeria and they know the long run effect of having these kids from various men. So they go into marriages and leave after having kids. It isn’t a coincidence that they always have kids first. Better a divorcee than babymama.

Anyway, it shouldn’t be much of a problem that women are leaving marriages. After all, men claim to gain nothing from marriage and are also not interested in marrying Nigerian women anymore.

thanks for this insight pocahontas! And yes i agree Nigeria is still a strong partriarchy which isnt good for woman empowerment. This choice of going into marriage and leaving after having kids is actually somewhat tied to biology - I will expand this response a bit in a few hours so you can get my point of view - and I am not judgemental of anyone and the choices they make - it is just interesting how biology ties into both male and female behavior - check back soon!

Hmmn!

Let's just they got what they are looking for and didn't see any reason to stay married especially when the marriage is not giving them joy.




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BigBashiru:

There is a statistical trend of a high percentage of divorcees even when the husband is not abusive or violent - in many instances the wives are extremely religious.... I'm trying to understand why a woman with children will wake up one day and say she is no longer doing.....

Are you talking about separation here or divorce?

If it is the latter, as in the one achieved in a court, then there is always a reason, and it has to be credible enough before any Nigerian court will grant the divorce.
The concept of no-fault divorces are not commonplace within the Nigerian legal system... such is more perculiar in places like the UK.

On the other hand, if what you mean is just the usual separation, as in, a married couple who are now living apart... although there may be a good reason for it which you may not be aware of, it would make more sense here that a man/woman could just easily separate from their spouse without a strong enough reason. (Note: separate, NOT divorce).

Klass99:


Poco, how true is this observation? I ask because I know more married people than divorced ones.

I also know women remain in marriages they're unhappy with, either for the sake of their children or lack of finances to branch out on their own.

Then of course there are women in my own life who divorced but kept it a secret for a long time, so I was unaware of their status till they opened up.

But, upon hearing their stories the divorce wasn't on the basis of...... "Now I have kids so hubby can fck off" Issues like DV and unrepentant chronic cheating, led to it.

When some babes want to pull the stunt Pocahontas has described, they often blame the husband (so guys pls don't feel bad if u have reasonably done ur best b4 God and man).... it's a way to rationalize their action to not make themselves feel bad....

I probably won't lose a night's sleep if my wife divorces after even a year. Just an opportunity to wife a younger woman

Blue pilled simps don't know such women are doing them a favour

KevinDein:
I probably won't lose a night's sleep if my wife divorces after even a year. Just an opportunity to wife a younger woman

Blue pilled simps don't know such women are doing them a favour

Interesting.

Is this the male version of 'I don't need no man' song after heartbreak?

@op, get married first

crackhaus:

Are you talking about separation here or divorce?

If you mean divorce, as in the one achieved in a court, then there is always a reason, and it has to be credible enough for any Nigerian court to grant it.
The concept of no-fault divorces are not commonplace within the Nigerian legal system... such is more perculiar in places like the UK.

On the other hand, if what you mean is just the usual separation, as in, a married couple who are now living apart... although there may be a good reason for it which you're not aware of, it makes more sense here that a man/woman can just easily separate from their spouse without a strong enough reason. (Note: separate, not divorce).

I mean both marriage and or separation - they no longer on good terms

bukatyne:


Sadly, not everyone marries for 'forever'.

Some do it to leave the spinster/bachelor group. Some to have 'legitimate kids.'

The kids and the partner 'deceived' of the other's intent are the victims.

I agree - u can imagine walking down the aisle while the other partner has other plans....

frozen70:
Stop making mockery of sensetive issues like this
No one goes to marriage to get divorced and no child was born with the intentions of being in a broken marriage

Go and get married and experience what it is

gbam

pocohantas:


Yes, I have also observed the growing trend of such divorce cases. My guess is, some of these women want kids, companionship, but not marriage. However, they can’t say it with their full chest in a country like Nigeria and they know the long run effect of having these kids from various men. So they go into marriages and leave after having kids. It isn’t a coincidence that they always have kids first. Better a divorcee than babymama.

Anyway, it shouldn’t be much of a problem that women are leaving marriages. After all, men claim to gain nothing from marriage and are also not interested in marrying Nigerian women anymore.

"Attraction is natures way of holding together our minds and bodies for long enough so that we mate with someone with good genes". Human beings are omnivorous primates of the order homo sapiens. Most things in humans consumate in sex as with the lower animals - could it be that marriage is actually unnatural and is only needed for procreation? Could it be biological?

BigBashiru:

I mean both marriage and or separation - they no longer on good terms

I think you have answered yourself.

If they're no longer on good terms, then it's a good reason to separate.

crackhaus:

I think you have answered yourself.

If they're no longer on good terms, then it's a good reason to separate.

You seem not to understand the premise of this thread - pocahontas understands the thrust of the question - please lets wait for her to comment further. thanks

BigBashiru:

You seem not to understand the premise of this thread - po.cahontas understands the thrust of the question - please lets wait for her to comment further. thanks

Lol, you're the one who doesn't seem to know where you want to stand on your own thread.
First, you claimed that men did absolutely nothing (not abusive or violent) and the women involved are "extremely" religious, yet they wake up one day and say they are done with the marriage... then in a next response, you say it's because they were not on good terms – These are two very different premises.

The 'character' you're mentioning as having the understanding you require obviously played along with your first insinuation that women enter marriages just to get divorced for absolutely no reason after 2/3 kids, because that is what satisfies her bias – a bias that women do not need marriage anymore, which in fact everyone knows to be completely false as far as Nigeria is concerned.
It's only on NL that women don't want to get/stay married, enter street and observe real life...

The second respondent on the thread actually captured it succinctly with this line to you:

No one goes to marriage to get divorced

And even if a few did, it is in the minority... Meaning it's not a trend at all, but more like the outlier.
To be honest, even as an outlier, it's almost non-existent especially because Nigerian divorce laws are not as beneficial (financially) to women when compared to some other countries. There's also the divorced woman stigma in Nigeria to be factored into it.

Nigerian women would rather remain married & manage it until it gets to a boiling point before they finally decide to leave, this is the reality NOT that narrative you and your friend above are trying to spin.
A divorceé and a babymama get almost the same level of stigma... and even if one were to contrast the two, it's actually being a babymama that's more in vogue when compared to being a divorced woman, not the other way round.

If you had said western women go into marriage simply to get divorced for absolutely no reason after 2/3 kids, we won't be having this conversation.
It's not a Nigerian women thing at all, not even a little bit.