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Broke Guys Should Not Be Thinking Of Sex Or Marriage - Ladies Declare / What Can't You Forgive In A Relationship Or Marriage / Is Child Bearing A Product Of Love Or Marriage (2) (3) (4)
| . by Temp12: 7:12am On Oct 18, 2020 |
. 1 Like |
| Re: . by Ezi1993(f): 7:13am On Oct 18, 2020 |
q |
| Re: . by lomprico(m): 7:20am On Oct 18, 2020 |
break all this you told us down to her, if she still insists, tell her the only condition now for marriage is that it wont be a loud one as she wants. your savings now can't support a big wedding and pls don't borrow money to do your wedding. if she still wants a big wedding, she has to wait for u to focus and understand the nitty gritty of your job, am sure once you do, the job becomes easier and you can afford d distractions wedding brings and most importantly you must have got some good savings for the wedding. Dont leave her o! all the best. 4 Likes |
| Re: . by HarunaWest(m): 7:20am On Oct 18, 2020 |
See simps everywhere..Niggaz finding it so hard to take decisions..You will marry that chick, but in your own terms..Dont leave her absolutely not. Talk to her, you guys shud just do a family introduction and pay her bride price .Start a family now and talk of main wedding plans much later .Both of you aint getting any younger and you can never save enough in Nigeria .We are all here in this life for family and love not money. You might still loose that job tomorrow, you cant say but you cant loose your family no matter what.[b][/b] 4 Likes |
| Re: . by 2special(m): 7:25am On Oct 18, 2020 |
HarunaWest:He is Not a simp. 7 Likes |
| Re: . by dingbang(m): 7:30am On Oct 18, 2020 |
Career |
| Re: . by Godada(m): 7:35am On Oct 18, 2020 |
Let me add my friendly input here. Having read your submissions. It's obvious that your lady is concerned about herself here. And that your collective future isnt even considered. Well, if you decide to choose marriage as it stands, you will fall out of favor with your boss and may lose your job because your boss who sees a lot of potential in you that you don't even see. Judging by the instability in the country and the privileged position you find yourself, you should embrace your career. A life of easy awaits you. About your lady, a low key marriage should suffice. There will be room for an elaborate occasion. And how you taking the reins of catering for her family............dont start something you can't finish. Don't you have an immediate family? It's important that you sit her down and drop these brutal facts. A loud wedding and an uncertain future or a low key wedding and a privileged life. You have chosen a privileged life. Let her join you or leave you!!! |
| Re: . by RedPanthar: 7:53am On Oct 18, 2020 |
There's no cause for alarm here. Whatever happened to effective communication in relationships. Your thread is a testament that you both talk but don't talk deeply enough. Age isn't also on your side. And if you both interacted at a deep level, you could both find what works well for you both Do not worship your job at the detriment of your marital destiny which is also a core part of your destiny Start planning financial independency by committing a fixed ratio of your monthly income into a myriad of investments. Do this monthly for the next 12 months and from your accruals, it would reduce your work-dependency and begin to lean more towards building a family. Take both together, don't throw your wife away. Reason this parable deeply. There's alot to gain by not taking the wrong decision about this 1 Like |
| Re: . by ShenTeh(m): 7:58am On Oct 18, 2020 |
Baba I know. Once that marriage button goes off in some girls' head poof! Nothing matters to them anymore. She has her fears and may have been certainly listening to someone she trusts or is considering a currently open option. You need to clear her head. Reassure her of your love for her and always be the first to broach the marriage topic. Transfer the pressure. Let her know that you both are not psychologically ready because you need to focus on learning your new job and integrating into it now is the priority. Blackmail her with 'if we hadn't got this job yet, would we be talking about marriage now? Remember to improve your statements with 'we, us, our" to give her that feeling of reassurance. If she doesn't yield. Break it! They say 'if you love a bird, you give it freedom to fly' When you are ready, go get her. Your chances of getting her back would be 80/20, but you need to set your priorities. It will end in praise. Cheers bro. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: . by DaddyRochie1642: 8:01am On Oct 18, 2020 |
HarunaWest: You're a Wise Man |
| Re: . by DaddyRochie1642: 8:02am On Oct 18, 2020 |
| Re: . by DrFunmisticGlow: 8:05am On Oct 18, 2020 |
HarunaWest:she can't continue to put her life on hold because he refuses to get his act together. She has helped him a lot and has been with him through thich and thin. She deserves nothing less than a court wedding in addition to family introduction and bride price. That is the ultimate sign that he is ready to go all the way with this woman. 1 Like |
| Re: . by DrFunmisticGlow: 8:09am On Oct 18, 2020 |
ShenTeh:Reassure her with words? Temp12 let me advise you as a woman The only reassurance you need to give her is through your actions. Op should go and see her family and pay her bride price and do a court wedding. You don't need a fancy big wedding but you will be together with an understanding woman you love and loves you back. Many can't boast of that. Women like her are hard to find. And if op is being slow, someone else will snatch her up. This will only reinforce the fact that women should go for ready-made men with the financial, mental and emotional means to start a family. Both of you should communicate, and do all this but also tell her to be patient with you a little more and give a a year before starting child bearing. This is risky seeing as she is past 30 and conception becomes more difficult especially once she reaches 35, for some women it can be much earlier than that. This year is enough to buy you time to be serious with this job and become financially stable and save. Op, many people became rich, not by doing something they were passionate about, but by being solution providers. You think dangote likes making spaghetti? Or yahoo boys dreamed of scamming people and doing money rituals when they were little? Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, you have been given an opportunity to apply yourself to success, and a mentor who is going the extra mile to guide you(your boss). As time goes on when your hard work yields fruit(laws of the universe of sowing and reaping), many others wish to be in your shoes. With time you will either come to love the job, or have enough financial stability to pursue your passions. My two kobo. The decision ultimately lies with you. |
| Re: . by Tina001(f): 8:13am On Oct 18, 2020 |
Marry her but do not succumb to the pressure of Loud wedding, it is marriage that matters not wedding party. You said she shares your view of lowkey things so why the sudden change and request of a loud wedding  Yes age is no longer by her side and yours too so you people should sit and discuss, do the wedding but let it be lowkey, don't borrow or spend extravagantly. In fact a simple court marriage and payment of bride price is enough. Save the rest of the money for other things. If she can't understand you to that point then please let her leave if she wants to. She is supposed to be understanding not putting u under pressure to do what you don't want to do. Don't leave her or break her heart, let her leave by herself if she can't understand your point, you too be a man and maintain your ground, don't go and use all your salary to do wedding because you want to please her, A word is enough o1 Like |
| Re: . by Kobicove(m): 8:26am On Oct 18, 2020 |
The lady has every right to be concerned cos money changes people...there is a good chance that once you start becoming more comfortable financially you may suddenly decide she's no longer good enough for you despite having spent 5 years in a relationship. Your best bet is to have a very low key wedding ceremony then focus on the new job 2 Likes |
| Re: . by Nicoswit(m): 8:31am On Oct 18, 2020 |
Just explain to her about ur challenge in ur new job, tell her to give you few months to get things on track and then you will marry her |
| Re: . by Nobody: 8:33am On Oct 18, 2020 |
She is jittery now because you've got a good job, besides she is not getting any younger. To allay her fears, just pay her brideprice for now and keep the rest on hold until you sort out your career. She is 30yrs old bro and most importantly, she has been a nice girl to you. Secure her now, good girls are hard to come by these days. As for the big wedding small wedding wahala, you guys can discuss that as responsible adults and come to a compromise. |
| Re: . by NairalandSARS: 8:43am On Oct 18, 2020 |
Career na. Marriage na scam. |
| Re: . by Obierika(m): 9:01am On Oct 18, 2020 |
Whatever you do make sure you don't disappoint that lady! You can't just abandon her after pressing her bress for over 5 years  1 Like |
| Re: . by baralatie(m): 9:12am On Oct 18, 2020 |
Obierika: 2 Likes |
| Re: . by stanliwise(m): 9:18am On Oct 18, 2020 |
@ temp12 Simply make the bold statement . It can’t be any harder, tell her you need time for your work and wouldn’t plan for marriage at this time. Give your conditions. I know it sounds like but then again that is what it is. Focus on your job if you have to. You are not responsible for her remaining a miss and no one said you must be the husband. Marriage is a big decision.But while at this you have to make acknowledgement(no promises and swearing please). And note also, this is a case of “you can eat your cake and have it” scenario. So go for your job right now and risk the chance of losing her. Or go with the expensive marriage and risk your job. That is how simple things can go |
| Re: . by Blackmoran(m): 9:32am On Oct 18, 2020 |
guy in this economy someone will be giving me a ultimatum about marriage... since two of you are dating and things are going fine together what is the point of adding unnecessary financial burden on a one day event. I can't wrap my head why most women are so obsess with wedding what is the big deal about it? in conclusion please don't let anybody nag you into doing what you are not comfortable to do, if she truely loves you, she will be contended and happy to still be with you and see it as a privilege and not a right, meaning she will do anything to keep you... |
| Re: . by dannex4adx(m): 9:38am On Oct 18, 2020 |
This is my expensive advice for you: You need to be focused on where you are going first in your career. Since the new job you just got is a field you are not familiar with, you need to follow your boss advice. Getting a good job like that in Nigeria today is not quite easy. When you marry you MAY not be able to focus on the training, skills acquisition in your new field because of challenges that come in marriage. As for your wife to be, you need to sit her down CALMLY and reassure her that you really want to marry her that she should give you time so that you can stabilize yourself in your new field of work. If she doesn't listen, find someone that she respects so well to help you talk with her. Lastly! PRAY about it. Pls don't lose your focus because of a woman. It will end in praise for you! |
| Re: . by oluwabukola87028: 11:01am On Oct 18, 2020 |
Just explain to her about ur challenge in ur new job, tell her to give you few months to get things on track and then you will marry her |
| Re: . by Docsammie: 11:06am On Oct 18, 2020 |
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| Re: . by Ezi1993(f): 9:27pm On Oct 18, 2020 |
DaddyRochie1642:Really biko am looking for someone that will slap me oo |
| Re: . by Nobody: 9:38pm On Oct 18, 2020 |
HarunaWest: I'm beginning to not know what simp means anymore, and I blame ubunja for this |
| Re: . by Nobody: 10:23pm On Oct 18, 2020 |
It’s a boat I’m also in. I’ll learn from the words of wise Nairalanders here. |
| Re: . by ednut1(m): 11:02pm On Oct 18, 2020 |
Marriage doesn't have to be expensive and loud. You can do parlor wedding and face your hustle |
| Re: . by Gerrard59(m): 12:36pm On Oct 19, 2020 |
HarunaWest: If I'm not mistaken, you are the one who is the simp. So-called alpha males focus on their careers/line of business instead of women. At least, according to the likes of alfa meils on Nairaland, so it's. @Topic: Better talk to her to accept a wedding that isn't loud o. In fact, she should have suggested using this Covid-19 to drastically reduce the costs. Unfortunately, it's the opposite. She should come to terms with the state of the economy, how precarious this job is if you don't develop yourself professionally and the need for you to save. Honestly, I don't know why she finds it difficult to accept this. Is she not in Nigeria to understand these things ni? A loud wedding anniversary can be conducted in three to four years when things are going well not now. I don't want to be rude so let me stop here. I just don't like people who don't consider basic economics when having choices and making decisions. |
| Re: . by Raalsalghul: 1:36pm On Oct 19, 2020 |
Temp12: The bold is a very big giant red flag.  Barring this, I would have said go for a small wedding. |
| Re: . by Raalsalghul: 1:39pm On Oct 19, 2020 |
RedPanthar: Marital Destiny? What does that even mean? |
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