.

Ok seriously what is with all these husband and wife unhappy threads? are you guys making this up?ahn ahn

He calls you that and you let him get away with it? It's total disrespect and a will leave deep psychological wounds
if you let him to continue to abuse you verbally. Next time he calls you something like that, don't say anything, just
go pack your bags and leave. Really, don't say a word. He'll likely beg you to come back and promise
never to do that again. If he doesn't, you have your answer.Live with an abuser all your life all get out

Na wah oh! Abeg you people should face your marriage and stop discouraging us from getting married! Because if all this bitterness and headache is what you get from marriage then maybe one needs to stay single.


If he a calls you an ashewo you call him a dog na!

^^ Ahn ahn. And have you noticed how all of them come up with new id's ? They are making me feel like I did the wrong thing getting married. Now if kadry refuses to buy me what I want I have to come here and open up a thread to be sure I am doing the right thing staying married to him

@OP
He calls you ashewo, please fu[i]c[/i]k him like an ashewo and when you are done, tell him you've got other customers to take care of.

If you are Ashewo then he is Oko ashewo

BTW most women have only slept with 2 men, the person who deflowered them and their current husband.

At least thats th story they tell us.

Also you are using a beating of 2yrs ago to justify quitting your marriage now? Just tell us who the new guy is, I guess he is better in bed. Talk true you know say rapture fit show this evening

dayokanu:

If you are Ashewo then he is Oko ashewo

BTW most women have only slept with 2 men, the person who deflowered them and their current husband.

At least thats th story they tell us.

Also you are using a beating of 2yrs ago to justify quitting your marriage now? Just tell us who the new guy is, I guess he is better in bed. Talk true you know say rapture fit show this evening

I can see some letters are missing on your keyboard today.

Whats up with marriages these days, seems almost everyone is unhappy, 
Is there a memo going around or what
Pls dont discourage singles us abeg o biko


Beating hasnt happened in two years and you are bringing it up now?
Is it thats you guys dont get to that point anymore or he just learnt to control his temper and quit whooping u?

Him calling you an ashawo is probably cos he knows the guy who deflowered you and the have mutual friends who might likely know about it.

.

And what is in that UK sef that is causing men to beat their wives? Global recesssion?

A man beats you all the time and verbally abuses you,yet you stayed in that house for 5 years? why are you asking for advise now? it is too late, if you can stay with him for 5 years then you can stay for another 60 yrs.

Women, were did they drop some of your brain cells bikonu?

BTW what advise do you want from us that I am so sure your siblings haven't given you already? You are not willing to change your mindset, yet you wanna change someone else? haha

So you are here for advise, but not planning to leave him right?

Bleep him like an ashawo then!!!

@ujujoan. . . Shebi u don dey see why my comments dey harsh sometimes. Most marriages out there are unhappy and the ones who appear "happy" are merely putting up a facade for the sake of the children and to avoid being seen as "failures" by society BUT if i point out these cold facts, you and your girly squad are quick to label me a "BITTER-SAD-WOMAN/MARRIAGE HATER". Nice! @POSTER! . . . I'm pretty sure that if your husband narrates his version here, it would be TOTALLY different from what you're telling us. No sane man would call his wife an ashewo without cause. There is no smoke without fire and i dont need a PHD in psycho-analysis to know your story has gaping holes large enough to bury a cathedral! He stopped beating you TWO YEARS ago but "somehow", you felt the need to bring that into the picture all in a bid to demonize him further. Do whatever you like. Na you sabi.

@OP, Ur husband is probably still bitter he wasn't de one u gave yourself to first, instead it was to SOMEONE HE KNOWS. Seeing such person or remembering their face could play a real trick on the mind. In his sub conscious he hasn't really forgotten/ completely forgiven you for dat. If it had been wit someone he doesn't know, it would hav been totally different, but with a familiar figure? Could be tricky. Men have ego. He still hates it being someone he knows, and probably feels small anytime he sees de guy. That is why it is not wise/advisable to re-enter a relationship where such mistakes hav been made. Cos, even if de man says he has forgiven, dat is his mouth talking. His sub conscious? Another matter.

@OP,If according to you,ur husband is OK aside the verbal abuse then brace up urself and tame him.Tame him by either ignoring him(no food,no sEX,no communication) when he gets vulgar or give him back,as much as u get(remind him that it's only a dog that marries an ashawo,he too be chief butthole scavenger and navigator)

Im ignoring the physical abuse part;its 2 years now so what gives?

Btwn,have u ever in the past abused him verbally?Called him names?

Wislet:

@OP, your husband is probably still bitter he wasn't de one u gave yourself to first, instead it was to SOMEONE HE KNOWS. Seeing such person or remembering their face could play a real trick on the mind. In his sub conscious he hasn't really forgotten/ completely forgiven you for dat. If it had been wit someone he doesn't know, it would hav been totally different, but with a familiar figure? Could be tricky. Men have ego. He still hates it being someone he knows, and probably feels small anytime he sees de guy. That is why it is not wise/advisable to re-enter a relationship where such mistakes hav been made. Cos, even if de man says he has forgiven, dat is his mouth talking. His sub conscious? Another matter.

Yeah!Yyeah!yeah!i fuckin think so!u fuckin got it right!YEPARIPA!

.

Now u know. . .fuckin work on it . . . .yeparipa!

Well if you wanna learn how to verbally abuse someone.We have some ''Abuse till I quench'' committee members here on Nld and they are good at it. They can teach you.

Wislet:

@OP, your husband is probably still bitter he wasn't de one u gave yourself to first, instead it was to SOMEONE HE KNOWS. Seeing such person or remembering their face could play a real trick on the mind. In his sub conscious he hasn't really forgotten/ completely forgiven you for dat. If it had been wit someone he doesn't know, it would hav been totally different, but with a familiar figure? Could be tricky. Men have ego. He still hates it being someone he knows, and probably feels small anytime he sees de guy. That is why it is not wise/advisable to re-enter a relationship where such mistakes hav been made. Cos, even if de man says he has forgiven, dat is his mouth talking. His sub conscious? Another matter.

Not good enough. If so then he is going to make life a living hell for her. If he was this insecure why did he marry her?

No,Jenny.she is too cultured and reserved to do otherwise.She be proper Lady!

Omo mummy V agbero Sabo.

Now,u wanna make excuses for him?He has issues and crushed ego that a guy he knows dated u so u "understand" how he feels and therefore he can call u ashi?why did he marry u when he knows he can't deal with ur past or have u given him reasons to doubt ur fidelity?

Ngwanu,bear ur ashi burden gallantly.

I dey go sunday school.!

Jenny-poo like dis happens. .nor b 2day!
He truly love her and thought,he could get over it. . .
And abuse no go solve d probs. . . .

Wislet has hit the nail on the head, unfortunately.

Well, poster, there's really nothing that can be done at this stage since you cant change the past.

If he calls you an ashi, then remind him he also wasnt a virgin (was he?) when you married.

I guess he's just hurt that he wasnt the one who got there first after dating you for so long.

Show him some ashi skills, if that will help.

Cant say for sure.

Seriously , though, he needs to stop beating the issue.

Did he say it's because of your previous relationship he's calling you a pr0stitute? Or it's just something that comes out during the heat of an argument?

Tpiah,
Which kain ashi skills you get to show me

Leave him, keep quiet, or start calling him names also.

poster seriously i cannot see any problem in your marriage except accumulated bitterness on your part for always swallowing insults from your husband. learn to speak out it helps.

@poster
honestly i wouldn't lose any sleepless night over this if i were you?
thank God he apologises every time,

Now having said that,
if you really abhor it and what to put a stop to it
just call him ashawo back when he says it to you
obviously he's probably thinking of what the other guy discussed with him when they were having their man-man talk
fine
you now also give him the impression that the other guy let slip all the things that they used to confess to each other
and for good measure, invent some imaginary woman and say you know what he did to whoever
that would stop him in his tracks
and when he finally comes to his senses and his inquisitiveness
sit down and have that conversation that the past is the past and should not be dragged up into the future.let him know that you don't want your daughters growing up with such a derogatory word carelessly thrown about in the house
see how it goes
just a case of wayo jam wayo
give him a taste of his own medicine

A very childish person you are married to. He is still jealous about your ex and is emotional about not being your first? Very funny guy. He may also still be upset by the guy talk that may have gone round when you were still single. You need to really sit down and talk to him. All that happened when you were single becomes irrelevant when you are married. Because more important things should be on your minds, like creating a good environment for your children to grow up in.

OAA82:

Hi All,

I'm unhappy with my husband and I'm not sure which direction to take. Firstly, I have known him for over 12 years, we dated casually for a while but I never slept with him because I was young and principled. We broke up later and I started dating someone else. Unbeknown to me, they(my new boyfriend and old boyfriend) grew up in the same area and knew each other; they even share a couple of friends. Anyway I did sleep with new guy (I was about 20, so I lost my virginity at 20 ). I later broke up with the new guy mainly because I did not like his direction in life. He had stopped going to school and was into shady deals. About a year later, my first boyfriend (now my husband) asked me out again and we started dating and later got married. We have been married for over 5 years now and have two beautiful daughters.

The issue is that my husband calls me a pr0stitute every time we have an argument. How can I be a pr0stitute when I have only ever slept with two men? It is really hurtful and even though he later apologises, the next time we have a fight it’s the first thing that comes out of his mouth. Sometimes I wish I had slept with many men, then at least he would be justified.

Another issue is that he has a short temper and beats me up sometimes we have a fight (This has not happened in the last two years though). I'm a well educated career woman on a good salary that could easily survive without him.
I'm tempted to take my kids and leave but he is so nice when we are not fighting.

I should add that I’m only 28 year old.

Help!

you messed one on fact that you married him when you know that he has friends commons friends with your ex meaning they even talked about how he bonked you

then him also messed up like you married you knowing that the common friends can talk about you when they feel like eg do you know that james was the guy who broke peter's wife etc

so he has to move on from that but it aint easy if the three of you leave in the same hood

OAA82:



@ifyalways, I'm from a very cultured background I dont know how to insult verbally even if I tried.

well, you better learn.

harakiri:

@ujujoan. . . Shebi u don dey see why my comments dey harsh sometimes. Most marriages out there are unhappy and the ones who appear "happy" are merely putting up a facade for the sake of the children and to avoid being seen as "failures" by society BUT if i point out these cold facts, you and your girly squad are quick to label me a "BITTER-SAD-WOMAN/MARRIAGE HATER". Nice!

if you are basing your opinion of marriage on what you are reading here, then i can see why. but please know there are MANY successful marriages, and they outnumber the wretched ones. but before you get married, you have to know your partner, and know yourself. set your boundaries in advance. know what you can deal with and what you can't, and let your partner know that upfront. yes, sometimes people do change, but usually the signs are in front of your face in the beginning. you just have to know to look. when people show you who they are, believe them and honestly ask yourself if you can make it work with this person despite their faults.

@op, you better be a woman and handle this. if you choose not to, then sit back and wait for the insults whenever something goes wrong.