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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / *Sivan and Comedy* (1227 Views)
Script And Comedy Prose Writer / *The Adventure Of Sivan* Get Ready To Laugh (2) (3) (4)
*Sivan and Comedy* by sivanstar(m): 4:59pm On Sep 05, 2021 |
***LITERATURE**** *GENRE: PROSE. *TYPE: COMEDY. *AIM: TO PUT SMILE ON THE BORED OR SAD READERS. *MOTTO: YOUR SMILE IS MY CONCERN. *BY: SIVANSTAR 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: *Sivan and Comedy* by sivanstar(m): 5:10pm On Sep 05, 2021 |
1) You think you know all different ways of stealing until you get to Ojuelegba,Lagos,where they will steal your phone but your earpiece will continue playing music until you get home.Fear Lagos 2) It only Nigerian police that will stop your car and said..."Oga,your plate number is Lagos.What are you doing in Sokoto? You are under arrest for illegal confusion 3) I called her last night and said,"I miss you honey".Her mother replied,"Honey is sleeping,you are talking with the bee" 4) Who else notice this? Yoruba people shout on phone,Igbo people lie on the phone,while hausa people always call the wrong number. 5) You borrow my gas to boil water and I am percieving beans...Neighbour,why na! 6) Black people will never believe you are sick until you start refusing delicious food. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: *Sivan and Comedy* by sivanstar(m): 7:52am On Sep 07, 2021 |
7) Hausa songs are always in a hurry... That makes me wonder if the artist is using a stolen guitar. Please be careful of who you help oooo, I was bathing my neighbor chicken in hot water. Now I'm being called a thief 9) I've deleted all Eminem's songs on my phone , even my mom doesn't shout at me like that. 10) I no longer see primary school pupils wrapping their books with Newspapers or calender.Our culture is really gone 11) My life is so private that no one even knows tomorrow is my 3 years old son's 7th birthday. 12) My mom kept fish on the table and I ate it,now she said I should check under the table if the Rat is dead. Please,which rat is she talking about?? 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: *Sivan and Comedy* by sivanstar(m): 3:00pm On Sep 07, 2021 |
13) You can never make a goat smile no matter what you do,all it would do is just mee-meee 14) They said the down fall of a man is not the end for a man, but brother what if you fall from 3 story building?? 15) Kpo kpo Me:who is dat? The person knocking: It us jehovah witness. Me:okay them no de house. Jehovah witness:but you just answered na. Me:I say them no de house,na their dog bingo de talk. 16) Yesterday evening when I arrive back from work,I got to my door and saw jehovah wittness knocking at the empty house, I joined them and knock, until they got tired and left, then I entered my house. 17) Warning avoid!!! I repeat.Avoid expire weed. My neighbor drove his son and drop him in his office while he trekked to his son school and join the other student in the assembly-ground. 18) I was in a plane going to Dubai,as the plane took off and was 2500 metres away from the earth surface,the two pilots started fighting,I just came down and entered Okada. I hate rubbish. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: *Sivan and Comedy* by sivanstar(m): 3:14pm On Sep 07, 2021 |
••••••Conversation between a Rat and Man••••• Rat: (with tiny voice) hello. Man: hello, who am I speaking with? Rat: Na Mr. John be this abi?? Man: Yes you are speaking with Mr. John, who is this please? Rat: So you no recognize my voice abi? Na me your room mate. Man: You say what? Rat: Your room mate Rat. I dey your room now... Man: I beg your pardon? Rat: which yeye beg you dey beg me. I never eat since yesterday,were you waka comot? I check that place wey you dey put food I no see anything. I check the kitchen, nothing. I even check your fridge,no single food there. E be like say you wan kill me abi... No problem, I just say make I let you know say That your certificate inside your wardrobe wey dem write LAGOS STATE UNIVERSITY I don eat the LA comot. Remaining GOSSTATE UNIVERSITY. Let me see which work you go take GOSstate university find.....Nonsense (rat ends call) 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: *Sivan and Comedy* by sivanstar(m): 3:31pm On Sep 08, 2021 |
19) IN ABIA : This land is not for sale •IN IMO : This land belongs to Mazi Okoro,beware of 419 •IN ANAMBRA : This land is mine and your life is yours .Don't let us trespass on each other's property biko! 20) I knew the economic state was worse when I heard someone pricing NEPA BILL... He was like ‘Bros Abeg how much for low current? 21) WHAT IS WITCHCRAFT? Well “witchcraft” can simply be defined as a situation whereby you entered your room, slept on your bed and when you woke up you saw you and your mattress at the middle of the Atlantic ocean. 22) It is only in Indian movies that armed robbers will be singing inside a bank after robbery and Police will be outside the bank dancing. Yeye people 23) I am tired for this country. You will buy rice with meat, plantain and egg and the seller will be like "Bros is that all?" ...No ma, add ice-block, charcoal and mosquito leg. 24) Pls is it a crime to stop a commercial taxi......... greet all the passengers and work away?? 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: *Sivan and Comedy* by sivanstar(m): 3:39pm On Sep 08, 2021 |
°°USA vs NIGERIA °° USA ROAD SAFETLY: Where is your driver lisence? DRIVER:Here is it (showing him his lisence) ROAD SAFETLY:You are free to go.Have a nice day. ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• NIGERIA ROAD SAFETLY : Where is your particular,Driver licence,Car document,car reciept? DRIVER : (Giving him all the request paper) ROAD SAFETLY : (Realizing it is all complete) Oga driver,where is your fire extigusher ? Extra tire? DRIVER : (Showing him everything) ROAD SAFETLY : Oga driver! Why did you wind up the glass?You wan use heat to kill yourself? Oya commot park there! You are under arrest for attempting to commit suicide!!! 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: *Sivan and Comedy* by sivanstar(m): 3:43pm On Sep 09, 2021 |
25) I like the way African elders handle pregnancy matters, they will just ask you one simple question " Adamu Do you know this girl?" The Moment you say *"Yes"*, No More Explanation, Case Close You're the father 26) My father said something funny We were now laughing and I Mistakenly Said *"U no get sense I swear"* 27) Wait..oo who else noticed that dining table is useless in Nigeria. 28) I was home alone watching an horror film when Suddenly the bedroom door open by itself......To cut the story short,I have leave the house for them. 29) Welcome to Nigeria where degree holders are looking for jobs, and those with jobs are looking for degrees. Confused Generation 30) Witchcraft is when you about to enter in an interview and you hear your English saying; "Go in, I'll wait for you outside" 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: *Sivan and Comedy* by sivanstar(m): 2:05pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
31) Lady,don't be fooled by these guys,.. Not all
men in a suit are rich ...Some are Choir masters. 32) When You Want to Charge your phone In a Football Viewing centre and You Mistakenly Off The DSTV during a penalty shoot out... shey you remember when your mum always tell you that your phone will k-ill you one day ?.. The moment has finally come.. Just get ready to die 33) 11.I don't even trust English Why is it dat "Give her her book" is correct and "Give him him book is not correct"? pls my people help me explain 34) 2022 safetly rule : All Motorbike rider should use seat belt .. 1 Like |
Re: *Sivan and Comedy* by sivanstar(m): 2:13pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
31) Lady,don't be fooled by these guys,.. Not all men in a suit are rich ...Some are Choir masters. 32) When You Want to Charge your phone In a Football Viewing centre and You Mistakenly Off The DSTV during a penalty shoot out... shey you remember when your mum always tell you that your phone will k-ill you one day ?.. The moment has finally come.. Just get ready to die 33) I don't even trust English Why is it dat "Give her her book" is correct and "Give him him book is not correct"? pls my people help me explain 34) 2022 safetly rule : All Motorbike rider should use seat belt 35) Have you noticed that Girls have “Three Voices”: •°• ONE , Is used when answering calls. TWO , The other one at home when she is talking to her siblings (Her Original Voice) THREE , Is used when she’s talking to her “B00 b00 36) My father said something funny We were now laughing and I Mistakenly Said *"U no get sense I swear"* Please if you have a space in your room tell me cause I got nowhere to sleep tonight 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: *Sivan and Comedy* by sivanstar(m): 4:38pm On Sep 12, 2021 |
** KEEP ON SMILING WITH SIVAN ** 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: *Sivan and Comedy* by sivanstar(m): 12:55pm On Sep 14, 2021 |
37) Nigerians be like, I want to buy Tin Tomatoes, the Sachet one 38) Nigeria mosquito's will not just suck blood and go.They will sing their occultic song first 39) That awkward monent when you are fighting and your oppenent almost killed you and you hear someone shouting *"Leave them to fight". 40) *Nigerian neighbors will see every Lady you bring home, but they won't see your cloth outside when it's raining* 42) Igbo guys advertising casket go be like. Oga buy these one. fiammmm 3secs ur mama don reach heaven 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: *Sivan and Comedy* by sivanstar(m): 9:33am On Sep 15, 2021 |
43) E don happen again Last night I came home drunk and ask my landlord to increase my rent. 44) Don't trust everything you see even salt looks like sugar. 45) Can you stop brushing your teeth for three weeks,for one million? ......Me: How much is a year?? 46) *Imagine sitting close to your Dad in church and pastor said 'turn to your neighbor and say..... I no dey fear you 47) Abeg who introduced the custom of buying bread when going to village? Today, I must break it, Am giving them Cheese balls 48) Bros if you like, skip my post. It is written "many are called, but few are chosen", "Many will read, but few will react" 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: *Sivan and Comedy* by Hollybratt(m): 5:14pm On Aug 08, 2022 |
Hey chap, You are doing well continue IRMC 1 Like |
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