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Advice On Inter-racial Relationship: I'm British, He's Nigerian - Romance - Nairaland

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Advice On Inter-racial Relationship: I'm British, He's Nigerian by hannah8(f): 5:57pm On Feb 20, 2006
I'm a british girl and my fiance is Nigerian currently studying in India. I was out in India with him for a while and had a great time and got along brilliantly.

My problem is, i'm concerned about how accepting of me his family is. They think that because i'm white i may leave him in his old age, or cheat on him. None of these things are even entering my mind, i am a strong Christian and have strong values with regard to these things. My fiances brother has suggested that if his parents do not agree to the marriage then it is a sign that our relationship shouldn't occur, Gods way of telling us "no".

My problem is, should i view all the obstacles we might have to overcome, and the possible loss of both of our families, as a sign from God that we shouldn't be together--- or as merely an obstacle we have to overcome? I love this man with all my heart, only God do i love more than him, and previously my fiance had asked God many times about me and had things confirmed to him about our relationship.

I'm just really confused. Should i be with him even if our families say "no"?
he is 25, i am 23. If we marry it will be in 2 years.
i only want to do God's will-- but i don't know how i can even know what that is anymore,

He has been refused a visitors visa for the UK 3 times now. I am able to travel freely to India and have done so.

Hannah
Re: Advice On Inter-racial Relationship: I'm British, He's Nigerian by sexybaby(f): 3:37pm On Feb 21, 2006
oh baby,This is a touchy story,but believe me
Love conquers all,keep reasuring him of your profound love for him. Get him married when next you re with him. with this the embassy will grant him visa to meet you in Uk. I wish you the best.

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Re: Advice On Inter-racial Relationship: I'm British, He's Nigerian by lolababe22(f): 4:16pm On Feb 21, 2006
Hanna
I know how you feel
My older brother's wife is white, and the other part was that when he got married we did not know
and we found out after the marriage, the other thinkg is if it is meant to be dont worry about the brother or even his family they can not stand in the way because it's not their approval that matters, it is that of the Almighty God , i remembered you mentioned you are a christian, Keep on praying and i know God will show you what to do and how to do it.
Regarding the Visa, pray and fast about it because i know there is nothing that God cannot be able to do for you so dont worry, and remember the bible says that "God is not a man that he should lie" .

Jeremiah 32:17 Ah Lord God! Behold thou art made the heavens and the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm, and there is nothing too difficult for thee,

Vs 27: Behold I am the Lord, the God of all Flesh is there anything too hard for me.

Stand on this Chapters and also do not pray any kind of prayers that would be calling for punishment on his family and you will see that God will intervene big time,

In the mean time i want you to visit this web site.
www. Gloriouslightcm.org and you will be blessed.
Re: Advice On Inter-racial Relationship: I'm British, He's Nigerian by hannah8(f): 6:22pm On Feb 21, 2006
thankyou very much for your help.
I know GOd is in control and it is the ONLY way it can be.
I talked for a long time with my fiance on the phone today and he was great. We prayed together a lot and i feel much better about things.
thanks for the weblink,

hannah
Re: Advice On Inter-racial Relationship: I'm British, He's Nigerian by dremoney(m): 3:13pm On May 10, 2007
@lolababe22,
mayb u will need to advise me because dis ur reply na WAEC topic cheesy
my wahala is i get to meet junks(rubbish babes) all d time while in search 4 a wife material(b sure im nt d problem sha o).

@topic,
God will guide you through my dear.
Re: Advice On Inter-racial Relationship: I'm British, He's Nigerian by Kinkinatus(m): 6:12pm On Dec 24, 2009
@Poster Hannah, you sound like a very decent girl with a strong Christian set of morals. Sadly, as you probably know there is a lot of stereotyping out there in the world by all races. You just need to be strong for yourself and for your man and have his support (which you do have). I am not sure if the views you hold about your partner's family was voiced out by them or if you are over-analysing. Irrespective, the way forward is to work towards breaking down your partner's family biases and prejudices, by proving them wrong. It takes time and it may be a struggle, but love does conquer all.
Refusal thrice of a UK visa does not mean your partner would not qualify for a UK visa in the future. People get refused 4/5 times and eventually get a UK visa. He needs to address the reasons contained in his visa refusal decisions and appeal if that option is still available. Also, if he wants to come as a visitor or your partner then you want to read the requirements for visiting or coming as a partner on www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk fulfill the requirements before next applying. All the best.
Re: Advice On Inter-racial Relationship: I'm British, He's Nigerian by 4Play(m): 6:16pm On Dec 24, 2009
@OP

Don't waste your time on this relationship. It benefits him far more than it benefits you.
Re: Advice On Inter-racial Relationship: I'm British, He's Nigerian by omega25red(m): 6:36pm On Dec 24, 2009
First thing to know is only God knows God's will and no one else. If he is an independent man he would marry you because he loves you and not because his mother says yes.

Personal experience: thread lightly with a family that explicitly tells you they dont approve of a marriage because those type of people are relentless in the trouble and havoc they will bring to your life
Re: Advice On Inter-racial Relationship: I'm British, He's Nigerian by Nobody: 6:38pm On Dec 24, 2009
omega25red:

First thing to know is only God knows God's will and no one else. If he is an independent man he would marry you because he loves you and not because his mother says yes.

Personal experience: thread lightly with a family that explicitly tells you they dont approve of a marriage because those type of people are relentless in the trouble and havoc they will bring to your life
Better yet dont marry them at all because they will still try to wreck the marriage by any means possible, Seen this happen so many times.
Re: Advice On Inter-racial Relationship: I'm British, He's Nigerian by tumfulu1: 7:30pm On Dec 24, 2009
fucking moro ni c imbec iles cant you see this a 2006 topic!!!

God punich you!!
Re: Advice On Inter-racial Relationship: I'm British, He's Nigerian by ebinom(f): 8:09pm On Dec 24, 2009
my thinking is if my fiance's family doesn't like me,i don't go any further.trouble and heartache is all you'll be inviting.and when they don't like you they'll do everything to make you know and break you down.well,it's your life,if you think he's worth it,then go for it girl grin
Re: Advice On Inter-racial Relationship: I'm British, He's Nigerian by ebinom(f): 8:11pm On Dec 24, 2009
oh shuut shocked shocked i just realized i replied to a thread that was made 2006 shocked shocked
Re: Advice On Inter-racial Relationship: I'm British, He's Nigerian by H2O2: 8:16pm On Dec 24, 2009
Sorry you had to wait almost 4 years before receiving my pitch. I believe you should follow your heart. Although, I would personally advise against marrying him.
Re: Advice On Inter-racial Relationship: I'm British, He's Nigerian by tumfulu1: 1:19am On Dec 25, 2009
H2O2:

Sorry you had to wait almost 4 years before receiving my pitch. I believe you should follow your heart. Although, I would personally advise against marrying him.

I love your logic very much in fact i want to kiss you. . . . . let.me.hold.you. . . . do you have a man in your life right now?
Re: Advice On Inter-racial Relationship: I'm British, He's Nigerian by Kelvinj(m): 1:40am On Dec 25, 2009
tumfulu.:

I love your logic very much in fact i want to kiss you. . .  . . let.me.hold.you. . . . do you have a man in your life right now?
yes i she does, so u wanna snatch?
Re: Advice On Inter-racial Relationship: I'm British, He's Nigerian by tumfulu1: 1:44am On Dec 25, 2009
lol was talking to h202. i heard he gay

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