@Ubunja
@Martinez39s
@Skepticus
@heartofcity12
@RAGGA40

Guys pls get in here. I need your advice on something.

Go on @COOL10

Alright guys. Thanks for coming .I really need your advice. Saying I am confused is an understatement.

Barely 3 hours ago, I literally caught my ten year old niece making a slutty video on her personal phone that her dad bought for her last year.

I cautioned her immediately and made sure she deleted the video but I didn't raise my voice as I didn't want to alert her grandma who was asleep. I brought her aside and spoke to her like an uncle would.

Her mother(my sister) is a single mom who got pregnant out of wedlock. She's not really a bad person but she's just like every other single mother out there: Narcissistic, toxic and vindictive. She hates men with passion. We all stay in our family compound.

Usually when I hear of stories like this, I automatically assume such a child is done for no matter the amount of cautioning and flogging. Her mother was the saint of the house but she still got pregnant out of wedlock.

Now I'm confused. Do I tell her mother(my sister)? Do I tell her grandma (my mother)? Or should I just keep quiet and mind my business.

Help me out here

COOL10:
@Ubunja
@Martinez39s
@Skepticus
@heartofcity12
@RAGGA40

Guys pls get in here. I need your advice on something.

Yeah bro..

heartofcity12:


Yeah bro..

Thanks for coming bro. So what do you think concerning what I asked up there

COOL10:
Alright guys. Thanks for coming .I really need your advice. Saying I am confused is an understatement.

Barely 3 hours ago, I literally caught my ten year old niece making a slutty video on her personal phone that her dad bought for her last year.

I cautioned her immediately and made sure she deleted the video but I didn't raise my voice as I didn't want to alert her grandma who was asleep. I brought her aside and spoke to her like an uncle would.

Her mother(my sister) is a single mom who got pregnant out of wedlock. She's not really a bad person but she's just like every other single mother out there: Narcissistic, toxic and vindictive. She hates men with passion. We all stay in our family compound.

Usually when I hear of stories like this, I automatically assume such a child is done for no matter the amount of cautioning and flogging. Her mother was the saint of the house but she still got pregnant out of wedlock.

Now I'm confused. Do I tell her mother(my sister)? Do I tell her grandma (my mother)? Or should I just keep quiet and mind my business.

Help me out here

I personally feel you should inform your mom(her grandmother)about it, she should know better how to discuss about it with your sister(girl’s mom), she’s a 10 year old and she sure needs to be cautioned on time before she gets more damaged. Such girl needs a father figure in her life to begin with but you may need to play your part for the time being you’re there. She’s not a stranger, she’s your niece and I think there is no harm in doing what’s right to save her from herself. That’s just my personal opinion, others opinion might be different.

PS I would have advised you inform your sister directly but knowing how she is with your description of her, I think it’s best you let your mom be aware instead and let her do the job. Cheers.

Hmmm. You see, people usually underestimate the impact of social media on a child's upbringing. The child has no father who leads the house, make rules, and provides strict guidance and discipline. The authoritative figures in the house are women and the little girl is under the cover of her single mother. If the women in the house are free-spirited and see nothing wrong in that behaviour, there is nothing you can do because you don't have greater authority over the girl than the women in her life whom she can run to for cover against your discipline.

Report her to the mother and other members of the family. If they, especially the mother, see nothing wrong or they treat the case with levity then there is nothing you can do since they have more authority over the girl than you.

I can say more, but this will be enough for this night. I wan sleep.

heartofcity12:


I personally feel you should inform your mom(her grandmother)about it, she should know better how to discuss about it with your sister(girl’s mom), she’s a 10 year old and she sure needs to be cautioned on time before she gets more damaged. Such girl needs a father figure in her life to begin with but you may need to play your part for the time being you’re there. She’s not a stranger, she’s your niece and I think there is no harm in doing what’s right to save her from herself. That’s just my personal opinion, others opinion might be different.

My mum will probably kill her or something. I've done my best to act as a father figure for her but there's nothing like a real father.

Her dad is abroad and is already making plans for her to join him over there. He got married to another woman after she was born but I don't blame him. I blame my sister who saw all his red flags and still got pregnant for him.

If I tell my mum I don't know what is going to happen. My mum is very unpredictable. Wild fire

COOL10:


My mum will probably kill her or something. I've done my best to act as a father figure for her but there's nothing like a real father.

Her dad is abroad and is already making plans for her to join him over there. He got married to another woman after she was born but I don't blame him. I blame my sister who saw all his red flags and still got pregnant for him.

If I tell my mum I don't know what is going to happen. My mum is very unpredictable. Wild fire

Actually your mom will not kill her but maybe that’s what such girl needs right now, a little iron hand before she ruins herself. Let your mom be aware and let them caution/punish her on time, and she won’t repeat such anymore. Spare the rod and spoil the child.

Martinez39s:
Hmmm. You see, people usually underestimate the impact of social media on a child's upbringing. The child has no father who leads the house, make rules, and provides strict guidance and discipline. The authoritative figures in the house are women and the little girl is under the cover of her single mother. If the women in the house are free-spirited and see nothing wrong in that behaviour, there is nothing you can do because you don't have greater authority over the girl than the women in her life whom she can run to for cover against your discipline.

Report her to the mother and other members of the family. If they, especially the mother, see nothing wrong or they treat the case with levity then there is nothing you can do since they have more authority over the girl than you.

I can say more, but this will be enough for this night. I wan sleep.

Thanks man.

Last time I checked, she wasn't on any form of social media. Perhaps, it's the music videos she watches or the movies. Her mom sometimes restricts her phone usage but it's still minimal. My mum has never been a fan of kids having phones.

If my mum hears about this

heartofcity12:



Actually your mom will not kill her but maybe that’s what such girl needs right now, a little iron hand before she ruins herself. Let your mom be aware and let them caution/punish her on time, and she won’t repeat such anymore. Spare the rod and spoil the child.

Thanks man. I appreciate it

COOL10:


Thanks man. I appreciate it

You’re welcome

heartofcity12:


You’re welcome

You won't believe what is happening right now. My mum is literally yelling at my sister right now concerning my niece. She said she had a bad dream about my niece being wayward but she didn't go into the specifics.

I haven't even said anything about the incident to her yet. Maybe she overheard my conversation with her earlier

COOL10:


You won't believe what is happening right now. My mum is literally yelling at my sister right now concerning my niece. She said she had a bad dream about my niece being wayward but she didn't go into the specifics.

I haven't even said anything about the incident to her yet. Maybe she overheard my conversation with her earlier

Maybe she did or not. Do the needful.

heartofcity12:


Maybe she did or not. Do the needful.

I just did. She said she will 'talk' to her tomorrow morning. Thanks again.

.

UpInTheSky:
A 10-yr old wouldn't do such a thing out of the blue.

She clearly saw someone (most likely the mother)
making a video like that and she's copying what she saw.

Yea, anything is possible.

I have already reported her to her grandmother. We'll see what happens tomorrow.

COOL10:
Alright guys. Thanks for coming .I really need your advice. Saying I am confused is an understatement.

Barely 3 hours ago, I literally caught my ten year old niece making a slutty video on her personal phone that her dad bought for her last year.

I cautioned her immediately and made sure she deleted the video but I didn't raise my voice as I didn't want to alert her grandma who was asleep. I brought her aside and spoke to her like an uncle would.

Her mother(my sister) is a single mom who got pregnant out of wedlock. She's not really a bad person but she's just like every other single mother out there: Narcissistic, toxic and vindictive. She hates men with passion. We all stay in our family compound.

Usually when I hear of stories like this, I automatically assume such a child is done for no matter the amount of cautioning and flogging. Her mother was the saint of the house but she still got pregnant out of wedlock.

Now I'm confused. Do I tell her mother(my sister)? Do I tell her grandma (my mother)? Or should I just keep quiet and mind my business.

Help me out here

if you tell her mother you've lost your niece's trust.

if you don't tell her mother you've lost your sister's trust.

don't tell your sister. your relationship will survive that betrayal. if you want to influence your niece's life in any meaningful way, you gotta gain her trust first. then work from there.

ubunja:
if you tell her mother you've lost your niece's trust.

if you don't tell her mother you've lost your sister's trust.

don't tell your sister. your relationship will survive that betrayal. if you want to influence your niece's life in any meaningful way, you gotta gain her trust first. then work from there.

Wow, thanks for this. This was exactly what was going through my mind and what prompted me to ask you guys first. My niece tells me almost everything so imagine how shocked I was when I saw what I saw.

Anyways, I ended up telling her grandma (my mum) about it just like heartofcity12 advised. She promised not to beat her up but to talk some sense into her. She also promised not to let her mum know about it. If she'll keep those promises, I don't know.

10year old girl is still small to get d kind of phone na.
Where we dey go for dis Obodo Nigeria self. Waiting 10year old girl wan use android phone do? Abeg, mak una retrieve d phone from her before en go late. Girls of nowadays are something else ohhhhh. They are competing with their aunties in all ramifications. Abeg mak una hold that small girl tight before anther thing go hold am for una

ubunja:
if you tell her mother you've lost your niece's trust.

if you don't tell her mother you've lost your sister's trust.

don't tell your sister. your relationship will survive that betrayal. if you want to influence your niece's life in any meaningful way, you gotta gain her trust first. then work from there.

What sort of nonsense advice is this?
You were neither here nor there.

And, of what good is his niece's trust when she's left alone to go out of hand?
What does he need the useless trust for? A child is about to be ruined!

Reinamaria:


What sort of nonsense advice is this?
You were neither here nor there.

And, of what good is his niece's trust when she's left alone to go out of hand?
What does he need the useless trust for? A child is about to be ruined!

you all like debating other people's advice when you can simply give your own take. that's why you're not making any changes out there. you have nothing to say but fight what others say.