you are the one talking out of sense because nigerians in diaspora have more time and money to stage an affair than you think! they can commute 24 hrs of the day without fear unlike back home when people can't do a lot at nights because of security.

ftmom ltnk=topic=798876.msg9509157#msg9509157 date=1320789351:

I believe cheating is not as common overseas.

For one thing, it's not acceptable like it is in Nigeria where most people consider it the "norm." If you live a middle or upper class life abroad as a professional, you will know it's not the kind of behavior you can flaunt like you could in Nigeria. Even though a lot of oyinbos cheat too, it is still not widely accepted and the last thing Engr Wazobia wants is for his neighbors or colleagues at work or even  his boss sef to find out he cheats on his wife. Doesn't mean he's going to be fired at work for cheating but una know how oyinbo people go just label that kind of person. With just  a whiff or scandal, the neighbors go just ostracize like say he killed someone.

Another point is the issue of money. A lot of couples have joint accounts and even if you don't have joint accounts, chances are your wife has a pretty good idea how much you earn. Which means depending on how much your "pocket money" is after settling family expenses; you'd better make sure your flings are dirt cheap and far between otherwise you may be robbing Peter to pay Paul (using your younger brother's  monthly stipend that you send to Naija to pay for motel and a dinner and/or movie for the fling).

Family obligations - Weekends and evenings, the kids have karate, cooking class, drama, dance, Boy Scout/Brownies meetings, etc. Your time is so booked up (guess what-there is no Driver  ) that you don't have the time nor energy for flings. Getting down with Madam sef after everything na work. Not to talk of mowing the lawn, doing your own landscaping because you refuse to pay someone some outrageous amount of money (especially when you convert to naira) to do it for you. And of course, your own quota of housework, plus ironing, plus taking the cars to the car wash. . . . .  . . .need I go on

Overseas, people are more aware of health, diet and exercise. Obesity is not celebrated, neither are XXXL "junk" and stomach. Women are more likely to keep looking attractive through diet and exercise and retain their husbands' attention. This is not to say folks at home do not exercise but if you have a good job that pays enough for a home gym or gym membership in Lagos (hear there's a N150k/yr membership gym in VI), you're likely not home till quite late and simply don't have enough time nor strength nor motivation for adequate exercise between your job, family obligations and the ever busy Lagos social life.

Child support - If you do it without a condom and impregnate the fling and she decides she wants to keep the child (never mind what the "agreement was", e don become lifelong commitment be dat and she will get child support even if she no put the man's name on the child's birth certificate. Yup! the man has created a "baby mama" whether he likes it or not with all the attendant expenses that go with it. If Madam then finds out and is eligible for child support and alimony, life just gets more complicated. Divorce can ruin a man financially and many have ruined their credit ratings by filing for bankruptcy because they are left with nothing after the divorce. Financially, it could be a nightmare.


These are a few of the reasons but the list is not exhaustive.

llbhuds:

Everyones contribution to this topic is influenced by the peeps around u both in naija nd in d diaspora.
I live in europe and I have been to most of the european countries and I can say emphatically that men abroad cheat alot, the funniest thing is our naija ladies abroad, many dont care if u are married or not, especially if tha guy is married to a white lady, a naija lady will never say no.
I know most men in diaspora cheat alot but in a coded way that u will never notice anything.
we too bad gaaan

omar22:

OK let me paint you a picture! you are married then you are thinking of having an affair! the time to spend with both women is so limited, that your wife would know that something is not right within days, then you would be monitoring the phone that comes in, text and emails that come in that alone to could make you go kolo, your behaviour would be suspicious! by the time you take care of so many bills and have an affair after a while you would pull out without been told,  

Richvkunt:

Men will cheat ANYWHERE once they get the chance,its in our genes.
I don't expect a woman to understand because it is a MAN thing.
So home or diaspora,a man gonna cheat because hes got to cheat, simples!

alanbolo:

chaircover and ftmom have outlined most of the encumbrances.

Due to the outlines, diasporaly, it's minimized.

@ Sir Fhemmmy, 9ja is where to spoil the Danshiki (Royal Jacket), especially during festive period with excuses that I miss my peeps to celebrate with.

emmatok:

@chaircover

Why do you like opening sexist treads , especially against men.

Well Married Nigerian men abroad are careful about cheating due to the feminist law in the West.

But married women cheat more abroad .

Fhemmmy:

Married women cheats more even in Nigeria, they are just not as lousy and gloating in their stupidity as much as men does.

emmatok:

I tell you 80% of Married women in Nigeria are careful when it comes to cheating, because divorce come with financial loss and stigmatization .

But abroad it is a free world for women, why do western media women give cheating men more coverage than women.

Western Women are well protected even in divorce.

Fhemmmy:

Yes, they are careful, and thus my saying they are not as lousy, they dont brag about it and just chop and clean mouth, unlike the men that see cheating as a medal and boast about it to friends . . .but the women will do it and even pretends they never did, some after some kids will even say they are virgins

logica:

You are old school. Many women of this generation (yes Nigerian women) discuss men they fvcked just like many men discuss women they fvcked. You'll be surprised what they discuss at saloons as they make their hair or shop at boutiques (exactly as you see in "Desperate Housewives" or any of the other silly serials). You talk about how tight the pvssy was, they talk about how big the manliness was.

denzel2009:

is there any married man in Nigeria with no extra tyre?

Fhemmmy:

I am sure that there would be some . . . .

Fhemmmy:

But how many of them will brag about it to even their husband the way the men will tell the wife "if you dont sit up, I will marry another woman"?

supaeagles:

akshually, there are more opportunities to cheat in the diaspora ,especially the caucasian regions where the naija men can claim they have the "mandingo" too and white tricks go want a piece of dat!

Johndoe100:

Diaspora cheat less cos they are more enlightened. They live among white people (who don't cheat) and this civilizeing effect has rubbed off on them. In Nigeria we spend a lon of time in the jungle and this has affected us.

logica:

You are old school. Many women of this generation (yes Nigerian women) discuss men they fvcked just like many men discuss women they fvcked. You'll be surprised what they discuss at saloons as they make their hair or shop at boutiques (exactly as you see in "Desperate Housewives" or any of the other silly serials). You talk about how tight the pvssy was, they talk about how big the manliness was.