The 3 Truths Required for a Healthy Marriage

I humbly admit that I don't know everything about marriage. In fact, I think it would be more factual to say that I don't know anything.

I grew up in the church. I sat in youth group during future-spouse night. I thought I was ready for marriage. To an extent, I was. But even as a marriage rookie, I'm learning that God offers more lessons in love than any how-to-date book could ever write.

In fact, I firmly believe these three truths are required for a God-honoring marriage to thrive:

1. Marriage Must Be a Mirror

I spent years praying for my future husband. I also was very picky about who I chose to date. As a result, I ended up with the most patient, kind, God-fearing husband you can think of. While we were dating, this was an incredible experience. I was constantly thinking “How did I get him?” It felt like a dream. But when we got married, his strengths began to call out my weaknesses. And the worst part? He didn't even know he was doing it.

When I would be irritated and rushed, my husband would respond with gentle patience. I would hear Christ whisper, “Love is patient, Olivia”. When I was in a place of selfish self-preservation, my husband’s humble and selfless love would expose my sin. To say it simply, marriage is a mirror and this mirror shows you the parts of you that need fixing.

You see, marriage before the fall of man was supposed to be a fairytale. Now, it's the union of two very imperfect people who very imperfectly pursue Christ together. But friend, this is a part of sanctification. On this Earth, we are being sanctified every day, made more like our Creator until we reach glory. Marriage, being a representation of Christ and the Church, is meant to be a loving, safe, sanctification. My husband’s action should be making me reflect and see where I am lacking because that is how I will be more like Jesus. Vice versa, my strengths should make my husband see where he is lacking, making him turn to Christ.

(I want to clarify that if your spouse is using sanctification to manipulate you, that is not God’s intent for marriage. It is through my husband’s humble love that God reveals to me my imperfections. Again, I emphasize God reveals to me my imperfections, not my husband. God simply uses him as a vessel.)

2. Shame Must Be Destroyed

As I mentioned earlier, marriage is a reflection of Christ and the Church. In Ephesians 5:25, husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. And even though no man can love you as perfectly and wholly as God, a God-fearing man’s wife should see glimpses of Jesus’ love in her husband’s affection towards her.

I struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Contrary to popular belief, this does not mean I have to have every picture frame hung perfectly straight and a perfectly clean car (actually, I’m the opposite!). What this does mean is that certain triggers can make me question the most important facts about myself. These triggers and thoughts leave me in fear and worry. My husband and I have been together for about three years. Throughout those three years, he has learned of my OCD and my triggers and has never once judged me. Every time I open up to him about my latest obsession, his understanding and love shock me. The lack of judgment and the willingness to help remind me that God heard all my years of praying for a husband long before I met him. As much as my husband’s love makes me feel seen, though, I am reminded through that love that God loves me with a more abundant, understanding, and perfect love than my husband could ever even fathom.

OCD can cause a lot of guilt and shame. Opening up about it can be embarrassing. But because my husband has shown that he will not judge me, I open up to him freely. Even more so, God invites us to open up to Him freely! Friend, I have learned that I can bring any guilt, shame, sin, doubt, fear, etc. to the feet of God and lay it there in the confidence that God will forgive me, sanctify me, and walk me through whatever battle I am facing. God knows me better than my husband ever could yet loves me more than humanly possible. How crazy is it to be fully understood and exposed yet fully and perfectly loved by God?!

Read the full list here: https://www.internetfortune.com.ng/2024/08/the-secret-3-truths-required-for.html