Coolboi05: hilarious

really, thanks

Disclaimer!! The above story by me is purely fiction and was written for the purpose of entertainment.

The atmosphere was cool, calm and steady though our hearts were heavy, our minds were thinking, our morale; high, brains on the qui vive, our lives; on the line. We could feel movements underneath our small boat as we sailed towards the Forest, 'once there no more going back', was the normal axiom that goes with it. At that time we could still hear wolves howl out their voices, nocturnal birds tweeting, As I paddled the boat, two of my colleagues held their assault rifles firmly, index fingers curled round their trigger waiting for any slight agitation, the poorly lit kerosene lamp just gave us hope in the pitch darkness of the night, how pathetic, we were sailing the almighty narrow-ridden River Badoo with a small boat capable of capsizing at any wavy current, but that was the only way to cross the river to reach the Forest at that time or else we would meet our waterloo from our adversary.

However, we sailed unto land, it was still dark, we tied our boat to a tree, I could hear Umar's heart beat, Dike was busy gulping rum down, as the leader of the pack I tried to hide my fear, we were about to begin our mission, I went to the boat grabbed my weapon, wore my jacket which has just three magazines stuck into its pockets, brought out one which was fully loaded, attached it to my M16 rifle and engaged the trigger, filled my mouth with the remaining rum, I prepared as Umar and Dike waited for me. I went close to them looked into their eyes and said ''no matter what we will survive this, I know it's hard to believe but we will'', I held their shoulders as a I spoke, I was also trying to hold myself not to burst into tears as I remembered my wife and kids. ''We shall watch each others back and strive to protect each other, but even if we die, we die for our country'', I said with courage. We forged ahead.

We reached the Sambitsa Forest, we were trained as accurate sharp-shooters, we can gun down a tiny bird miles away, with our sniper enabled weapon we could cause mayhem from afar. The forest was not all that thick, trees scattered, a large area of the land was covered in grasses and large rocks. Looking into the horizon you could see nothing but vast land mass covered in yellow grass and short trees yards apart from each another. Since our departure from the river bank, we had almost trekked more than four miles, that was not easy because we carried along with us our tools packaged in our backpack which weighed almost ten kilograms that made it a very big burden for us. We trudged east as shown on my compass.

'Oh my feet!', bellowed Umar, ''I think we should get some rest'', added Dike, I succumbed. We cleared a small bush and set out our tents, ready to rest our heads for a while. The sun was up and hot, inside of my tent got warm. I crawled outside of my tent to get some air, I noticed a cloud of smoke rising from a valley 8 kilometers away, ''guys! We've got company '' I beckoned, immediately Dike dashed out of his tent armed, ready to let go. Umar and I laughed it off but commended his adroit response. I brought out a Radio Communication Device, gave it life with an alkaline battery. ‘‘Battalion 321, code bisa, do you copy? Over!'' I yelled into the mouth piece of the RCD, hoping the sound wave would get back to our base. We do communicate in codes only decipherable by those we rapport with, because the enemy can track sound waves and listen to them. A faint but clear voice returned ''Copied! General Wong, on the line, over!''. ''Enemy base spotted, commence operation? over!'', I replied. I was waiting for a reply, my eyes caught Dike sneaking out of my tent with my water bottle, I dropped the equipment and chased him, he noticed the action and took to his heels drinking the remaining water as he ran, I seized a stone and hurled it at him but he dodged, laughing and mocking me, though I caused it because I started it, I finished his water while I was keeping mine . I ran back to the RCD, ''thanks goodness there was no message yet'' I whispered to myself. Within a short while a response followed, ''operation approved, over!!'' replied the General. I quickly responded, ''carried, over!!''. Now tomorrow's going to be the D day eh? I said to myself. I heard a rumbling sound, it was my stomach, rushed into my tent to get something into it.

The roar of the thunder storm woke me up, the rain was heavy, checked the time , it was already early morning but it was still dark due to the rain, I walked outside in the rain, woke my guys, went back into my tent to get ready for our fate.
I knelt down, closed my eyes and prayed. It was as if my strength was boosted. I wore my desert-coloured camouflage, packed three eggs of grenade, not forgetting my magazines, grabbed my rifle, fastened my belt, helmet on, bullet proof on point, jumped into my boots, lace fastened. As I was coming out of my tent I saw two figures in the dark being drenched by the heavy rain seems they've been waiting for me, both men armed to the teeth wielding hell fire 'bazooka' rocket launchers each, a faint light could be seen under Dike's helmet, It was ''ganja-weed'', he was trying to get it off the rain as he puffed his thing with dexterity. I went close to them, Dike's bass voice roared out a war chant:

''Hanlele haya buba maka''
we responded immidiately
''Haya bakomu''

We sang along as we marched under the heavy rain, a thunderous slap rammed my cheek ''gbuwam!!!!'', it was Dike who gave me a deafening slap, '' haba!!! Wetin naa'' I screamed, ''I can see you have got too high abi?'' I yelled. ''Where is the morter?'' Replied Dike. I had forgoten the mortar; a deadly weapon. I ran back to my tent touching my red cheeks gently as I ran, on getting to our small tent settlement, the whole place had been flooded, I managed to get into my tent with the water level almost at my knee cap, I grabbed the mortar and its shellings where it was hung and fled. I went back to my collegues and we continued our mission.

As we kept on walking ready to let out bullets at any danger, Umar leading the attack line, we were advancing in a queue, we noticed as we moved that the red earth became thicker, it got to a point that our boots were getting stuck to the muddy ground, we struggled to get to a better place but still it was sticky, suddenly Umar fell into a deep quagmire, he screamed for help as he struggled to get out but I told him to keep calm because the quagmire keeps on getting him submerged as he struggles, I reached for a tree branch and let it out to him, he grabbed it, with Dike's help we pulled him out. Giving Umar a nickname such as Muddy would be an understatement as he has been plastered and covered in red sticky mud , but thats not his major worry, he got perplexed as he looked at his rifle, covered in mud, it has to be dismantled and cleaned up before it can give out a shot, the rain has reduced, I could see the sun was about to rise, we needed to attack before sunset I said to myself, Umar understood our plight and agreed to move ahead without a good rifle.

We were now meters away from the enemies camp we could see clearly armed men walking about inside the dwarf fenced settlement cocooned with razor-sharp barbwire. We hid behind a average sized rock contemplating on how we would advance through the first watch tower built on wood, Dike cocked his rifle with a silencer well fitted at the tip of his gun's barrel, mine ready, he aimed carefully, the trigger was pulled a sharp sound went off, the bullet zapped off only for us to see the the man on the watch-tower fall all the way from the top of the watch tower. ''Bull's eyes'', he exclaimed with joy. Immediately without wasting any time we left the rock and advanced, I opened fire on an enemy who saw us coming and was about to sound the alarm, he was hit. We reached the fence, Umar brought out a plier, on trying to cut the metallic sharp wire, he was electrocuted and sent four feets away from wire, we rushed to him, helped him on his feet, he shook his head severally and was fine again, I collected a the pier and cut the wire, I was wearing a glove. We entered the the first watch tower, the two dead bodies were moved to a hidden corner, Umar without any hesitation grabbed the Automat Kalashnikov 47 rifle and a magazine from the dead enemies, I look at a Umar, I can see a smile in his face as he is now armed with a rifle. ''unto the second gate'' said Umar, we advanced.

We could see the 2nd watch tower from our current position which was a wooden pavement at the Ist gate, the 2nd gate seemed to be crowded that we could be shot at if we made any funny movement. I dipped my hand into my pocket and brought out three grenades, gave Dike one and Umar too, I ordered to strike on the count of three, ''one, two three'' we unkeyed* the grenades threw them at the centre of the 2nd gate, about two militia men saw the action and shouted for red alert that the was grenades around but that was late as a huge explosion followed, there was pandemonium, immediately, we came out from our hiding place, opened fire on the survivors, a gun duel followed immediately as everyone took cover. Dike aimed his RPG bazooka at a room where heavy gun firing was let out at us, the rocket destroyed the whole room at once and the firing stopped. Heavy black smoke made vision hard as we looked for the third gate. I remembered an order I was given earlier on before we left our base on how the attack is going to be, we were told to call for backup as soon as we reached the peak of war. I took cover at a safe place unzipped my backpack and brought out the RCD as Umar and Dike were firing continously at the attackers who seemed to be getting more furious. I turned it on yelled for backup, a reply came immidiately ''we are on it''. I packed it into my bag and returned to firing. I grabbed the mortar, set it at an accurate angle, brought out a shell, dropped it into the wide barrel and dodged my face for safety, the shell went of and bombarded the whole place. Everywhere was quiet, all that can be heard was the sound of burning fire burning wood and other flammables.

A persistent silence covered the whole place, but we wheir still afraid and ready to shoot. Suddenly, an engine rumbling sound could be heard, it was an Armored Personal Carrier (APC) vehicle that appeared from no where. I looked closely and saw something that shook me greatly with fear, it was the German MG42 machine gun which was attached to the APC that caught my eyes as the APC approached from the third gate. The gun is so deadly that a full fifty round belt of 7.92mm ammunition would be depleted in a two and a half second burst and the seventy five round drum of ammunition in just under four seconds. Without any hesitation, I ordered my men to retreat, as we can't take down such an APC with our crude arms, we started going backwards still firing as we went back. Suddenly a fusillade of hot lead bullets were released for the MG42, the firing was so severe that we took to our heels, we dodged behind rocks as the MG42 was still pouring out ammunition tirelessly, we were totally helpless because if we moved further backwards we would be ripped apart by hot bullets as there were no more cover to run to. I felt a sharp pain at my lower abdomen at my right, I was bleeding, I had been hit, I saw Umar in pains, it seems he has been hit also but I think it's on his left arm. Dike was fine. The heavy artillery from the APC was much, we had nothing to do and the APC was approaching us steadily. We gave up hope, I started saying my last prayer when I heard a large bang, it sounded like a heavy shelling, ''Oh!!! Thank God'' I exclaimed.
The air backup has arrived, the second shelling followed from another jet bomber, the shell was on target that it turned the APC upside down, seeing this our courage came back, I managed to get up and opened fire to the survivors of the heavy shelling, we chased them back into their basement, some of the enemies surrendering while some still kept on running and shooting. The air backup was such a great relieve that more troops embarked from apache helicopters and increased the ground force. We bombarded them with heavy artillery till they all surrendered.

A heavy hand touch my shoulder from the back it was General Wong, he hugged me and helped me to a 'chopper, I climbed its stairs and saw Umar and Dike already receiving treatment, I smiled at them and they smiled back.

The Girls were later found, they were hidden in a bunker inside the third gate. SheCow was caught when the aerial backup was heading to help us, he was caught on his way fleeing Sambitsa with few of his fellow militia men.


Immediately, a hot slap rammed my cheeks again, the same spot. It was my mom who woke me up as I have been sleeping, ''do you know what time it is!!!'' yelled my mom. ''so all dis things na dream'', I said in amazement. I rushed out of bed to boil water as I'm about going to church late.:D8-)


Dedicated to the Chibok girls and the Nigerian army who risk their lives in order to #BringBackOurGirls.
Peace Nigeria!!!
27-6-14
By, adrenaline123.

Oh, my belly ooo, Larrysun you are truely a genius, mehn I wan, die 'cuz of laugh, don't rest on your laurels sir. Keep it up.
*still laughing ooo*