aknopic:

Sometimes I try talkingto girls by asking questions
they get turned off and will just give an excuse to leave

obailala:

What you are suffering from is simply a case of shyness and stage fright. If you are determined to end this, you can with a little bit of determination.

You tend to be a perfectionist and you are scared of making even a single mistake because you think you would be laughed at. Even though you speak and write English very fluently, you harbour a fear that you would either say rubbish or commit a grammatical blunder especially when talking to girls. But you need to realise that most times, you are the only one who notices your blunders, others dont!

The truth is that all your problems are just psychological and are created only in your head. The best way to tackle this monster is to get into the boxing ring with it and battle it head to head. You need to take the bull by its horn.

Practice will only make you perfect. Being shy or unable to talk to girls is like a habit and the best way to stop a habit is to replace it with another habit; Yes! You need to force yourself to start talking with people, you need to become a talkative. Henceforth, you need to set a DAILY target for yourself to start talking to people who you would rather not talk to on a normal day. You can start by talking to the less intimidating girls but you must work yourself up the ladder. Now is the time to start executing your daily target.

Will people laugh at you if you make a mistake? YES they would. But it wouldnt be all the time and the laugh would only probably last a second. Also you need to understand that as you are intimidated by her presence, she is also intimidated by your presence and for this reason, she would most probably not even notice your blunder (that's if you even commit any). Just like i mentioned earlier, shy people are mostly the only ones who notice their blunders, others dont!

In summary you need to inconvenience yourself daily by talking randomly to girls... Practice makes perfect; just get yourslef to keep talking to every girl around you. Be a talkative, even if you think in your head that you aren't making sense, dont worry you are.

offspec:
Op, I have a problem to your solution.

aknopic:
Another thing is fear of what to say
Now I see a girl familiar afar wat I do is just to divert to another direction. it might sound funny but dats d truth
This is cos I fear or dont know what to say AFter greeting her. (to avoid getting blank and appearing like a fool of a dumb person).

Smallville10:
why call names. You say something

Teempakguy:

Hmmn . . . . ask yourself. What are you really afraid of?
Is it embarrassment? Is it appearing foolish?
Answer and let's see what we can do about it.

ogunvic41:
Start faceless chats on 2go,BBM, whatsapp and others

Jboyossai:
Well, I will advice you to try and speak wt atleast 3 of the opposite sex each day, even if its something meaningless and see how confidence you will become....
Meanwhile farano , seun come help this dude......

Ephemmm:


Dear Akinwumi,

I have been in your shoe and my situation was worse than yours when I was in school too, despite the fact that I was among the best students in my department as at then. I could have not known the solution to offer, but I am delighted to learn that you were still in school studying: this means you still have 100% means of overcoming this predicament. As at then, I was timid and very hesitating in the choice of words to the extent that I cannot face a single person when communicating.


If you are an introvert like me, it is normal. But guess what! I overcame this problem successfully to the amazement of even my father, colleagues, and relatives. But mind you, I took some steps which I would like to underscore here. I know you are brilliant and comfortable when it comes to written skills, but lags behind when it comes to public speaking, but you will be astonished that I became the best student when it comes to public speaking in my department within three months.

The best solution in my own opinion is for you to avoid limiting your learning to the four walls of classrooms. In school, try to take up leadership roles even if it is a course/football/classroom captain: there is nothing hindering you from becoming a legislator or President whether at your departmental level or at SUG level. This will force you to face people, address, socialize, and communicate often.

Let me use my own situation as an example. I was so talented when it comes to academics to the extent that the scholar of my set knows that I have something upstairs more than him during my undergraduate days without recognition. Unless mandated, I will never stand up to answer any questions being asked by the lecturer even with 100% assurance of knowing it. I can be inside my room for complete three days if there is power supply on the first hand, while I can stay within a room for one week if this is coupled with good "old school" music on the other hand.

I was wallowing in this predicament when some drama started unfolding: firstly, I was among those who were chosen to represent their department when the SUG election is to be conducted. Come and see how I was flourishing among my peers when debating issues though my response will either be so sort or whispered to the ears of the person sitting next to me to be communicated. But with the passage of time, I have stepped up within the shortest period of time. From there, I became the Secretary of the body in that year and the election just ended.

On getting back to my department, my colleagues noticed a little change - my leadership and communicational skills has greatly improved. As a result of this, I was nominated to go for the Departmental President willy-nilly despite the fact that two of my mates have been in the race for the past two years.

D-day comes, I worn the election with two days of campaigning with great margin to my personal astonishment. By occupying this post, I have to meet students during electioneering campaign, I have to face them and communicate to ascertain their expectations: I have to prepare speech during induction ceremony for freshers, during sport I motivates, during debates I repose confidence, and during inter-departmental meetings, I argues. In the end, my department was awarded the best department on campus as at then.

This was how I came out of my shell up till date and it has been extra-ordinary: though the traces of being an acute introvert is still traceable in me up till date.

In short, Practise! Practise! and Practise! speaks without fear of being wrong: perfection is not attainable within a day. Also, some books were helpful then though I might not be able to remember them in-to-to:

1. The virile leader
2. Why you act the way you do
3. How to make friend and influence people by Stephen Covey

God bless you.

RoyalBlak007:
do you weed?