balash:
"I have discovered that love doesn't guarantee the success of a relationship. Love cannot help you stick to one person all year round, and on the other hand, cheating isn't always a product of not loving your partner.

In fact, loving someone doesn't guarantee not falling in love with someone else. Relationships work out mostly because of our heads not our hearts.

It works out because of our emotional maturity, empathetic intelligence and self discipline; because, time will come when you'll see more beautiful, handsome, romantic, intelligent, sexy, rich, curvy and God fearing people than the one you're in a relationship with.

In those times, love will not help you. Self control will help you. Emotional intelligence will come to your rescue and commitment will keep you going.

With those characteristics, no matter how you feel for someone else, the person you're committed to will rank first in your life.

You think happily married people don't see better people than the ones they married to? You think they don't feel funny sometimes? You think they don't catch feelings? They do!

But understanding that commitment is greater than feelings and it is the great arsenal that destroys those unhelpful impulses.

You can fall in love with anyone, but building a relationship takes absolutely more than what attracted you to them and takes more than love.

We are too fond of loving when it's convenient and sweet. We are too fond of loving when love is there; but that can only last for just the first 3 - 6 months of the relationship in many cases.

After then, you'll realise that the feelings have dropped and it's now your responsibility to make the relationship work, not love's responsibility.

Relationships cannot be readymade. You have to build it and it's never always about love, it requires commitment and intelligence.

On the long run in marriages, it's not just love that keeps them together forever, it's determination and commitment.

Everyone falls in love; it takes little or no effort to do that. But staying in love? Building a relationship? Only the strong and committed ones do that.

That's why we must find that one person and commit to that one, discipline yourself and bridle your emotions.

Building a relationship is hard work, it's like building a career, It's like pursuing a dream.

It's always tough. At some point it will be so bitter but you can make it work by putting your heads together. You can scale through the trying times by staying focused and committed.

The kind of love that attracts two people together is not the kind of love that will keep them together. Be emotionally strong, be self disciplined and above all, have the God factor that will give you the grace needed to reign you in.

I agree with you, because love is realy not rational. It can’t be controlled , infact i think what we call love is controlled by external variables. Commitment on the other hand, will guide you through all the temptations .Commitment is dependant on a conscious choice you make - and that, is something you have complete control over.

ZarZar:


Eish, but why are they always embarrassing us in EC? Many people now associate that show with us. So ngathi all of us are like that. It's annoying.

Ja hey but we should fall behind KZN lol. But ke apho kukho i disadvantaged communities ezininzi these kinds of things happen.

[quote author=ZarZar post=55735207]

WOW. You can never know. Lol, nawe you're besties with your cousin? Mine is my G too. We go together like that photo kaZuma

We get along so well together that I wonder why she wasn't a guy born in another family loll. Call me her handler , the biatch can get out of hand with her domineering nature as an Aquarius so she needs me to get her back on her cage when she goes psycho on unsuspecting people

ZarZar:


Smh. That is scary & sad. People never learn. They think they're invincible until it's too late. Who does that, honestly? For sure they even sleep with them on the way, oonotraki as they used to call them back in the days zoomama bethu lol.

Yup. Hahaha @ onotraki. Lol I remember when I used to watch khumbulekhaya this girl wanted to go back home and as she was telling her story she went like " mama ndemka ne traki to go look for a job , and things got difficult in gp so I had to turn ndithengise nge mpundu " tjo On national TV, that was sad though.

ZarZar:


Lol, naye she is horrible, so I'm not offended at all cause yinyani. But bakhona, a few, who are with good women with morals. I guess it depends on the guy too. Andithi bathi flowers attracts butterflies, while shit attracts flies. So if you're rubbish, guess what? The flies are coming!

Hahahaha true ke phofu. I feel sorry for omnye wabo who seems like a good guy , he's is a soccer player in one of our big clubs and is dating this other psycho I know from Umtata lol ..izozisola lendoda straight coz he wants to get married , in as much as I love her I know she's a sick gal mentally and the guy seems shy lol. I don't know what happened to her in CPT coz we lived together in pta she was and she left to finish her studies there and when she came back last year I didn't even know who she was lol. She had turned into someone else totally from ungathandi ababantu to dating two of them at one time . I still suspect she's on something though my her besti (my cousin ) seems to disagree

ZarZar:


Hahahaha @ Pretoria & serial killers be like siamese twins. No, I've not heard of the Centurion serial killer but another one operating around Atterigeville, Pretoria west. Yhoo, that one scared me. I still wonder if they caught him. It's not safe to accept lifts these days, sana. Some people are psychotic .

Very difficult to separate the two . Tjo why are they almost always from Atterigeville and Mamelodi , someone needs to do a study on this, maybe it's the water they drink loll. They usually catch them years later so you guys are screwed .

Yeah for sure, yazi i was shocked ngo Jan coming back here from the EC these ladies e Queens be hiker to Jozi with boards , like seriously approaching cars filling up at the station for lifts , I thought yaphela lo trend e EC after all the body parts scandal a few years back.

ZarZar:


Exactly! And the last part of your post is correct because even this lady told me the same thing. Her man uthengisa iziyobisi & likes women, so athi to get back at him, she'll report him...abanjwe. But anyway, that is the type of people ababafaneleyo lol.

Lol tjo so bayafana. Yeah from the little interactions I've had with them in person and apha I can understand why they always end up with that type , I seriously have never seen any of them married to someone without major issues lol or someone ozondenza ndizibuze and then? They are always with the usual suspects lolll. No offence to your girl

midehi2:

that was so cruel/wicked, some men are not worth it atall

Yeah that was cruel and scary but glad she didn't get to where ever he was taking her , who knows what he would have done to her besides the obvious ofcourse. Yeah not worth it at all , but the problem is that some are so good at being evil they can convince you they are good until you find out later lollll.

ZarZar:


Grow up when? Ngoka 80-something But she just had a baby in January so u-still for now. She's married to aba but ujoooooola! LOL!

Serial killers, phi? Pretoria?

Hahahaha maybe in her mid 40s lol. Mxm she will be back in action soon I know that type they are forever young and never change their ways until agule.


But haven't you noticed uba they always date or marry the same mzantsi women. The type who don't give a damn about connection, love or attraction but what he can get her . Hence I always laugh xabesithi siyabava coz these wives zabo are dangerous and busy lolll. Even worse now ingathi there's a trend yobabambisa xabedikiwe ngabo.

midehi2:
Went on a date with him, after watching a movie, took me to an eatery, then was driving to his home straight, was like 'take me home, its getting late, ds guy refused ooo, and i can't jump out from his moving car, i remained calm, getting to his house, luckily for me, he stepped out from his car to open his main gate, na so i jumped out from the car, ran towards bus-stop, shioooo because of movie and rice,, u wan fvck

Lolllll he wanted payment . Good thing you didn't panic. A friend of mine once had a similar nightmarish date , she had met this "nice guy " and they decided to set up a date for the following evening, she drove to the spot and they shared meal and enjoyed each other's company. The guy then suggested they live her behind and take his to this new joint that just opened a couple of streets up , so they went with his car . They had a couple of drinks ( within the legal limit I was told ). She asked him to go drop her by her car so she could go home and the guy's demeanor kinda changed from being super nice to cold but he agreed. When they were approaching her car the guy sped off and it's night time there wasn't much traffic. She says she was so scared and tried opening the door and the guy took out a gun and put it between his legs but said nothing lol. He was driving out of the city to the nearest one, luckily he got a phone call and that was her chance to jump off and he continued driving off and she was almost hit by a couple of cars until one stopped and took her to the hospital. The guy was never found.

eziera:
I am a Nigerian living in America (somewhere in the South) and men never seem to approach me. Not even black men approach me, or at least only one has. People tell me I have a babyface and it doesn't help that I am a petite girl. People always ask me for my age all the time. 5'6 and weigh 125 lbs and I am 21 and in college. I don't go to bars or nightclubs.

I am not an ugly girl because strangers call me beautiful/pretty. I have Sudanese men ask me if I am Hausa and that I am really attractive. One Sudanese man asked if I have a bf and when I told him I never had one before he was surprised and said I was really pretty and said that he sees ugly women with bfs all the time. Or sometimes on the street, a man will say I am beautiful but still never approached. I am confused as why when I go out shopping or anywhere other than bars or clubs, I am never approached by a man?

Probably the fact that you are foreign plays a part , many people tend to be reluctant in dating foreigners. And some of your co- foreigners won't want to date you , they will go after the citizens of that country for different reasons . Or maybe you are just too much to handle for them

ZarZar:


Lol, shame. Banned you for the why? Wenzeni? Must have been the spambot thing.

Ja that's what they said...mxm . I think i didn't answer nge serial killers in pta. Where were you last year when some guy who usually introduced himself as tshawe driving a decent merc wearing a suit terrorized women around centurion raping many and killed 3 . He gave them lifts and they paid heavily. Anyways pta and serial killers are

ZarZar:


It happens. It happened to me a few years ago. Me & my cousin were at her friends' place. There were a few people there & when we were about to leave, one of the cars wouldn't start so all 8 of us packed in one car. My cousin sat on one guy, I sat on the other & one other guy sat on top of another guy It was a practical solution to our dilemma. So anyway, the guy got hard as I was bumping on top of him due to speed bumps on the road Honestly, at 1st I thought he had a phone in his pocket because his "thing" was in a weird angle, going across his thigh. When I decided to shift the "phone" with my hand, that's when it dawned on me that I was on a long thing...literally. LMAO.

Hahahaha @ being on a long thing lol. Ezizibhanxa banned me for a day lol.