Switchman: Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out
This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.
I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.
We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.
Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.
I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.
Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.
It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.
It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.
I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.
I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.
Thanks Switchman
You are a fool. Imagine the kind of men that roam the streets these days. Guy, you F up. Reading things like these gets me angry
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Wait till LPDC use you as scape goat. You'll stop doing this nonsense.
Better stay in Lagos or else you want to waste your whole youthful age in that low life Ibadan. In lagos, you can still see side hussles to compliment to what you have unlike in that village. Don't solely rely on salary cos no one becomes successfully rich with only monthly income nowadays unless you want to be feeding from hand to mouth.
christopheru: Let's get down to the topic. If you were offered a Job in Lagos for N150k and you were offered the same job in Ibadan for N120k, which one will you go for?
GreatResearcher: Award means a prize or other mark of recognition given in honour of an achievement.
Why the hype on Grammy Awards?
The way we Africans see and do things always got me puzzled. We see Grammy Award as god. I'm not in anyway hating those who won. But how me celebrate this Grammy is what I don't understand.
In America. Most American acts don't see Grammy as anything. I remember one rapper who was given a Grammy Award and he rejected it.
Last year an American rapper pee on a Grammy Award (something most Africans see as god) Few hours ago another American rapper took to his Twitter to write F88k Grammys.
These people a different way of reasoning I don't know if it's because of their environment because environment can't influence one's reasoning.
Winning Grammy does not make you bigger or better than others. Not winning Grammy does not mean your crafts are useless.
I know over 10 American rappers who never won a Grammy but you can't talk about Hip Pop and you don't mention their names.
Imagine someone like Nas just won his first Grammy after how many years in the industry? He never made it a big deal.
This article is just useless. Channel your energy for more productive ventures.
Prospertochu: I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.
I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.
My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.
My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?
Everyday I wake up na so I dey see my guys dey Bleep up. What's really happening to we guys? Baba God abeg save the male folks
jondon11: So I met my girl about a year ago during the start of the lockdown. We bonded real quick...she's easy-going, sorta smart, mad sexy and funny. Two months after we started dating, she moved in with me and began shuttling between my place and her sister's.
I work from home and my place is structured such that there's not much to do to maintain it. Although I work from home, I go out now and again for business and during my time out I run most of the errands...my girl ensures that it's only when I'm going out that she gets whatever she needs, from the market or errands around the area mainly cause she's often in a pant and bra watching a movie or just being lazy. She's a good cook but a lot of times I found chow coming late or not at all, and there was always raw food to prepare...sometimes her excuse for not cooking could be she couldn't get one ingredient or the other either because she didn't have cash on her or some other reason...there's mobile money just outside our gate and if she doesn't have the money she can call me to make a transfer but the main issue was laziness. I swept and mopped like 80% of the time, ran errands like 100%, cooked like 20% or the time (starved like 20% or sorted myself out someway), she did dishes 80% of the time and I brought like 100% of the money we lived on.
She is doing her MSc and our relationship started during the lockdown so she wasn't going to school. She was job searching (more like job waiting) so this gave her a lot of idle time which she spent watching Zee World or being on social media. I soon found a way to engage her in the job I do from home, and with the money she had saved in the bank (over 400K), she started work with me. I purchased a laptop for her for this purpose and so she could develop herself in other areas via online courses but she didn't do much work...working like two hours daily, very late at night...I sometimes complained but tried encouraging her as much as possible, especially when she made some success.
I'm sure you'd ask why I stayed in the relationship despite all of this? I was pussy whipped, had no other options given the nature of my work, saw some potential in her ( I know, a stupid thing to say) and thought I was in love (I'm 29 and shouldn't have been that stupid).
Fast forward to December last year, we discovered she was pregnant, a month pregnant. Told her we should keep the child and get married...she suggested we could abort since we weren't quite ready but I said what was a couple more months gonna make a difference?
Since then till now, we've been quarrelling non-stop, one issue after another of which it's mainly me raising the issues. Maybe it's the tension that comes from knowing I might be starting a family with so many unresolved issues. I've raised my concerns and told her she'd need to be more responsible in the relationship if things will work and even though she tells me she knows, I know deep down she doesn't mean it or might not be up to the task of being a married adult. From some of our talk she expects I'd take care of all the financial responsibilities and have suggested a couple of times we get help for chores (we've moved to a bigger space now) but I told her in clear terms that that's not how I imagined my life...having help for chores and the likes, besides, it's just a two-bedroom flat.
I've purchased some of the things we'd be needing for our wedding and we're supposed to do an introduction this coming week but I'm having cold feet and just want to call it off.
I'm bringing this here to know how I can manage this situation...I can be lazy but I'm a really ambitious person so this pushes me but my girl is not just lazy, but unambitious. How do I manage the situation...there's a child involved now and will need to consider the child but at the same time, I can't take on this much stress nor have my ambitions cut short because my partner is lazy.
Zzor: Shut up,Mrs Seinye is my mom's bestie and I know everything that happened, Dump should be ashamed of himself
Dumb girl. You expect her not to paint herself as good before your mom? You are too daft. Same woman whose husband died in Nigeria and she lied that he died in Ghana just because she had other motives best known to her until an autopsy was conducted to find out the truth. I just dont have time for senseless human beings like you. Shes your mom's bestie. Lol now I know why you are senseless.
Mr richmond500 , the picture of his corpse being carried on a boat in a river seems confusing to me; I would like to know where he was buried; land or river?
You wan chop the corpse? He will not be buried, his body will be preserved in a mausoleum
Zzor: Dumo is the greedy one,Mrs Seinye Lulu Briggs is a very nice woman who knows her right from left
This efulefu has come again. You dont want to do something meaningful with your life. Did you follow this man's story at all or you just want to blab? This is why they always abuse you on Nairaland.
[quote author=Zzor post=99859983]Dumo is the greedy one,Mrs Seinye Lulu Briggs is a very nice woman who knows her right from left[/quote
This efulefu has come again. You dont want to do something meaningful with your life. Did you follow this man's story at all or you just want to blab? This is why they always abuse you on Nairaland.
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ebukajay184: Little Daughter Of Obaseki's Late SSA Calls On Her Dad In An Ambulance (Video)
Governor Goodwin Obaseki's SSA, Prince Iyen has died after being unable to raise money for a kidney transplant after he was diagnosed of a kidney disease, IgbereTV has learnt.
A video wherein the deceased's little daughter called on her late father inside an ambulance without a response has surfaced online, IgbereTV reports.
@ChrisOsaMedia shared the video on Twitter with the caption;
Family / Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by BREYZ: 3:17pm On Mar 21, 2021 
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