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Jobs/Vacancies / Re: 2013 Nigeria Liquified Natural Gas (NLNG) Graduate Trainee by CHM11: 9:33pm On Mar 06, 2016
cashme28:



Yes, we are determined to let our brotherly love continue, with or without NLNG

na so o,...but this recruitment is funny sha,...lwkmd,....its very funny.


i just de laugh everyday whenever i remember NLNG. soon you will hear adverts like the below on COOL FM

AY LIVE PRESENTS EASTER FIESTA

COMEDY BEYOND COMEDY
VENUE-GOLDEN TULIP HOTEL, FESTAC TOWN LAGOS

MUSIC BY- TUFACE, DBANJ, PSQUARE, WIZKID, DAVIDO, FEMI KUTI, MI, KISS DANIEL, OLAMIDE, PHYNO, PATORANKING AND A HOST OF OTHERS


COMEDY BY-
IGODIE,
BASKET MOUTH,
KLINT D DRUNK
SEYI LAW
ALI BABA
AND THE [size=20pt]NIGERIALNG[/size]

tickets are available at all tfc, ariya tickets, and silverbird cinemas

show runs for 3 whole yeeeeeeeears,...the fun never stops with HEN-HELL-n-GEEEEEEEEE


lmao...
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: 2013 Nigeria Liquified Natural Gas (NLNG) Graduate Trainee by CHM11: 9:14pm On Mar 06, 2016
ItsTime4me:
Wow! You have made my day. Good to know you're my 'brother'. Whatever Nlng does, we just have to know that Jehovah's undeserved will never elude us as long as we rely on him implicitly.

lols,...big fact,...so just relax bro,...lets let Jah do His thing as always,...make NLNG gt recruitment team and decision makers dey there dey zuo,..hand go soon touch them from the heavens.,...that thing wey ZEUS dey throw from heavens go land for somebody office in bonny soon. No worry,...na [size=20pt]KPRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!![/size] we go just hear, that person wey no gree dem send us medical invites go just turn charcoal statue,... no worry...lol

3 Likes

Jobs/Vacancies / Re: 2013 Nigeria Liquified Natural Gas (NLNG) Graduate Trainee by CHM11: 8:46pm On Mar 06, 2016
ItsTime4me:
@CHM1, at first glance at your post, I thought Nlng has placed an advert for 2016 GTs. You see, I have emptied my mind for a worst case scenario. Those guys are not to be relied on. They can just give us the shocker of our lives by cancelling this recruitment. So I am building a very formidable fibre to withstand any of such eventuality. Did I hear someone say that I am pessimistic? Well, you are very wrong with that conclusion. I am an optimist of the highest degree. Come to imagine this: Did you ever think that as at today, you would still be in a recruitment that started since 2013? Have you ever heard of the like of it? So you see, what we are in today could never had been conceived even in our wildest imagination. As such, the inconceivable may still happen. I believe in facing realities and not fantasies. Please don't get it twisted. I am not saying or wishing that this recuitment be cancelled. However, owing to the fact that the Management of Nlng are unreliable, as we all can attest, anything can happen. So, while expecting the best, I would prepare for the worst case scenario. No matter what happens, # I still believe in Jah's undeserved kindness

hehehe,...my brother the stuffs on nlng's managements neck at the moment ehn,...na only Jehovah go remember our matter.,...the only goodnews there be say, one Hercules who is in the decision making process is likely asking for an increase in the number of intakes so that it will jive with future expansions. I dont think they will spend money on the recruitment of gts in the near future.

no matter how it goes sha, i know you can chill on with JER 17;7 till the appointed day. Come 23rd of March, when the bread and wine pass your front, just smile and remember the ransom sacrifice. As you step out of the KH, check your MALE,..i pray HE too will remember you thereafter.

1 Like

Jobs/Vacancies / Re: New Career Opportunity At Nestle Nigeria Plc by CHM11: 9:46pm On Mar 05, 2016
these idiots are here again with their foolish tribalistic and biased quality recruitment....


here's what will happen when u apply...
you will be invited for a dragnet test
if you pass, you will be invited for a function based test
if you pass then you will be invited for interviews.

At the interview, you will see contract staff smiling like idiiiots, in d company..then you will give you best at the interview and yes because you did well, they will send u a success mail after the interview....but u will never be called for medicals because those contract fvcks will resume in your place.......after about 5 months, Nestle will send u a regret mail and that's it.....except u are a Yoruba chick though....


stuuuupid company...jokers
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: 2013 Nigeria Liquified Natural Gas (NLNG) Graduate Trainee by CHM11: 7:14pm On Mar 05, 2016
DMainMan:
Nigeria Liquified Natural Gas is recruiting graduate trainees:

Graduate Trainee code:
GT/2013/001 sorry, mistake, its GT/2016/001

LOCATION : PORT HARCOURT (INTELS)

The Job: Graduate Trainee

Qualifications:

Candidates must possess a university
degree obtained at a minimum of Second
Class (Upper Division) in any of the
following disciplines:

Engineering
Sciences
Social
Sciences
Arts
Law
Business/Management Sciences

In addition candidates must
Have obtained either their NYSC
discharge certificate or exemption
certificate.

A Masters degree and at least 3 years experience before resumption if selected
Not be over 28years old sorry, mistake, we meant 31 years old

Application Deadline: 22nd November, 2013 but, sincerely we do not know when the recruitment will be completed, maybe 'in due course' of 2016

To apply, go to:

https://sws.nlng.com/e-recruitment/openings/Default.aspx

Wishing u success.

we sincerely apologise for any inconveniences that applying for this shiiiit might have caused you

jokers!!!!!

12 Likes 1 Share

Jobs/Vacancies / Re: 2013 Nigeria Liquified Natural Gas (NLNG) Graduate Trainee by CHM11: 7:46pm On Mar 03, 2016
so it turns Q1 isn't it....
NLNG!!...very funny!!
November 2013 to march 2016....still counting !!!... very funny
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: 2013 Nigeria Liquified Natural Gas (NLNG) Graduate Trainee by CHM11: 10:54pm On Feb 29, 2016
forkadict:


Before

Wetin you expect?

In fact I am exercising serious restraints. Otherwise, King of Bonny for don summon me come hin palace for serious warning for disturbing his female subjects.

It might interest you that I am still a last small boy near some guys here o. There is one expat that anytime he wants to relax, he can only do so with 2 chics at a go. He says it is a sin to go to bed with one chic a time. You can imagine. The guy na my mentor. I look up to him in matters of life (and death). I dey carry nyansh for am anytime.

ehen.....so na wet in una dey bonny dey do be this abi?....no wonder common GT recruitment dey approach 3 years so...the things women and their backside have been impacting since before time imo river.....


#singing....Jesus take the wheels....

1 Like

Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Zenith Bank Interview 2016 by CHM11: 10:19pm On Feb 29, 2016
Seyibusayo:
hello,pls I need ur assistance concerning guarantor form, 1 of my guarantors was rejected, I want to ask if the proprietor of a private school dat is not Govt approved can be a guarantor

private schools are private businesses...if the form makes provision for private business owners to serve as guarantor then the proprietor should suffice.
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: 2013 Nigeria Liquified Natural Gas (NLNG) Graduate Trainee by CHM11: 7:54am On Feb 04, 2016
I've seen real shl AC score sheet used by some multinationals here in Nigeria,...some candidates who scored an average of 4.5/5 had outright 'ACCEPTED' by their names right after the AC process. The others scored 3 or 3.5/5 as average had 'DISCUSS' by their names. The candidates who scored below the pass mark of 3 had 'REJECTED' by their names.

The ratio of the outright accepted to others was approx 1:5.
for those with discuss it was 2:5.


If NLNG is running the SHL style recruitment process, the above will most likely be our situation. Inference, some persons have been taken if all background checks hold water. The rest labeled 'discuss' most likely will split the remaining slot based on AC answers, skill set, age, course of study etc.
Those labeled 'rejected' have been dropped already.

I'm also sure NLNG will be intelligent enough not to use name of place of work provided on our CV or other places as a criteria for selection. It makes no sense. My sources even said they wouldnt use place of work. Though it might just happen that those working in high profile companies will perform very very well at the AC as their confidence level will be high and they use the right terms to describe the appropriate skills and competencies the assessors are looking for. This seemed like the situation in 2007, though some persons who worked in low profile companies still got in.

According to my pal there, the following reasons are why it wouldn't make sense to use place of work.
1. Its been almost 3 years since we submitted our CV to NLNG, aloooooooooot would have happened since then. Many of us would have changed jobs, gained skills, advanced degrees and professional certifications.

2. At the AC, we were instructed not to mention our names, where we are from, our age, and other personal details that will bring about bias... some persons actually played by the rules by not mentioning names of companies and all that.....just went straight to the situation, task, action, result and learning as directed by interviewers. So logically, NLNG doesn't know where many persons work at the moment save background check because not everybody does linkedin, brandedme, prof online updates regularly. I've not even updated any of mine in 2 years.

3. No one knows how some of us got into where we are today save us. so using that as a criteria is just wild.

though I would have loved it if they used it sha...lol...

Anyways, they should do what they feel is best for the business and future of the company..

Me self believe in Jahs underserved kindness no ni

1 Like

Jobs/Vacancies / Re: 2013 Nigeria Liquified Natural Gas (NLNG) Graduate Trainee by CHM11: 9:14pm On Feb 03, 2016
the things bonny breeze can cause...even forkadict is now using puzzles on us.... meeeehn, forrrrk it, someone get me a nose mask!!!

3 Likes

Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Zenith Bank Interview 2016 by CHM11: 4:38pm On Feb 02, 2016
mandonnels:
thanks. u hav bn more than helpful bro. wats d price range and duration?
I can't say for sure..but a quick google search would help.
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Zenith Bank Interview 2016 by CHM11: 4:19pm On Feb 02, 2016
mandonnels:

okay. will just try and relax

yeah you do that bro...you can pass time by writing a professional exam like ICAN or ACCA if the funds are available and/or you have a desire for a career in that line.
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Zenith Bank Interview 2016 by CHM11: 4:09pm On Feb 02, 2016
lovelyngeee:


Pls what's the age requirements?

28 or 29...not so sure....Ngozi, even if u are 40, no harm applying
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Zenith Bank Interview 2016 by CHM11: 3:21pm On Feb 02, 2016
mandonnels:


wow. scanned mine through their branch close to me to them yesterday morning, and der said it was ok dat i will b called for documentation.
hav nt heard from them since den.

don't know if it's OK to call dem?

no need to call them.. they will call u...

they are competent.

1 Like

Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Zenith Bank Interview 2016 by CHM11: 2:30pm On Feb 02, 2016
mandonnels:

how long did it take to get feedback after submitting ur guarantors form?

I resumed d next day
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: 2013 Nigeria Liquified Natural Gas (NLNG) Graduate Trainee by CHM11: 7:04pm On Jan 31, 2016
naastyme:
View point? You call referring to a reputable minister "Liar" and the minister of finance "novice" as someone's view point that may not be in line with mine and something u enjoy and yet you find my point of view "not choosing my words carefully"? Really?!

FYI it wasn't my intention to add anything to a discussion that I view as grossly subjective and unintelligent. I hope I have the right to do that.
Thanks


u sure do.
have a nice day chief.
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: 2013 Nigeria Liquified Natural Gas (NLNG) Graduate Trainee by CHM11: 6:30pm On Jan 31, 2016
naastyme:
It makes me feel very uncomfortable when I hear people make careless and perhaps illogical arguments. I am not even referring to your calling Kemi a novice or calling Lai Mohammed "Liar". I however find it pedestrian to cite the "indictment" of Amaechi by the panel set by Wike as a proof of victimization by the current government. I don't know if it is your expectation that all Wike could do was to set a panel, spend taxpayers money, indict Amaechi, but rather than take him to court because the panel lacks jurisdiction, expect the judiciary to take up the case for them while they pass judgements on newspapers. It is even more baffling that it is APC, an opposition party and to which the subject belongs, that you expect to take action on their report. You also referred to all those under investigation as belonging to PDP only. What is even more interesting is that you are so bold in making your comment. Smh...


so sorry but it takes you nothing to choose your words carefully.

Someone else's view point might not be in line with yours, that doesn't make his stance illogical.


every comment on the subject has made sense by adding a point or two to the argument which I was actually enjoying until I saw the above. I'm still looking for the point you made in favour of or against the argument.

3 Likes

Jobs/Vacancies / Re: 2013 Nigeria Liquified Natural Gas (NLNG) Graduate Trainee by CHM11: 7:50am On Jan 29, 2016
Badema:
http://www.channelstv.com/programmes/business-incorporated/

"Oil prices rallying as leading producers (#Russia #KSA) move from Confrontation to Cooperation to ... economist sees #Brent crude between $70-$75pb in HY2 2016 in line with #NGRs Budget outlook."






thanks
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: 2013 Nigeria Liquified Natural Gas (NLNG) Graduate Trainee by CHM11: 6:05am On Jan 29, 2016
Badema:


Wow! At that price, Nigeria would have long gone out of Crude business for our cost of production is around $15 per barrel(unless we do a zero-profit regime to avoid extinction in E&P). I really don't see oil price going far below $25 per barrel as predictions are between $70 to $75 per barrel by ending Q2, at least giving you an indication that oil prices will rise even if not upto expectation, somewhere well above $30 per barrel.

pls can u provide web links where you saw those predictions?

1 Like

Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Zenith Bank Interview 2016 by CHM11: 8:49pm On Jan 28, 2016
mandonnels:

ok.
how long did it take for u to return ur guarantors
form then?
and did u submit it at d head office or d branch
close to u?

from what I know..they will tell u how long u have before submitting the forms.....I also know that I can submit at the HO or scan at branch near u and have it forwarded to HR if thats the directive u received.
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Zenith Bank Interview 2016 by CHM11: 7:08pm On Jan 28, 2016
mandonnels:
sent ya a pm
sorry, associated email is inactive.
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Zenith Bank Interview 2016 by CHM11: 7:04pm On Jan 28, 2016
mandonnels:
sent ya a pm
sorry, associated email is inactive.
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: 2013 Nigeria Liquified Natural Gas (NLNG) Graduate Trainee by CHM11: 6:17am On Jan 27, 2016
ladyF:
Adenitemi thanks kiss I have been fine. Great day here today, 2 FTCs, countless FPs, I've seen better days but this is good stats grin Thanks for your concern. I actually decided to stop commenting this 2016 since NLNG decided to stay mute. Tk4 is doing good too, we send our regards to everyone. kiss kiss kiss

I wish everyone the best in their future endeavours. I don launch new page sha grin

It's [size=15pt]LadyF[/size] again grin grin grin

lol,...u b community problem I swear.
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: 2013 Nigeria Liquified Natural Gas (NLNG) Graduate Trainee by CHM11: 6:19am On Jan 26, 2016
Prinzofparis:
hmmmmm

is this true?
so they really want to send regret mails first as rumoured..oh my poor balls!!!!!


so it wasn't a rumour afterall.,...just some months late
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Zenith Bank Interview 2016 by CHM11: 9:07pm On Jan 24, 2016
mandonnels:
yes, on 22nd of dis month.
then expect a call soon....make sure your phone is always on...
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Zenith Bank Interview 2016 by CHM11: 3:41pm On Jan 24, 2016
mandonnels:

how long does it take to be contacted after medicals?

I can't give any specific time frame...my viewpoint though is that it depends on branch needs near the location you provided on your CV. Mine didn't take more than a week, but I also know someone whose took months.

have you done your medicals?

1 Like 2 Shares

Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Zenith Bank Interview 2016 by CHM11: 2:21pm On Jan 24, 2016
Carmal90:
can I submit my cv

i believe you can. Read through the thread on how to go about that
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Zenith Bank Interview 2016 by CHM11: 9:36am On Jan 24, 2016
projet:
thanks alot...I think I will take that.
that will be good.
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Zenith Bank Interview 2016 by CHM11: 9:35am On Jan 24, 2016
projet:
thanks alot...I think I will take that.
that will be good.
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Zenith Bank Interview 2016 by CHM11: 9:32am On Jan 24, 2016
Carmal90:




how can I go about it sir.... hnd graduate
go about what pls?
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Zenith Bank Interview 2016 by CHM11: 9:27pm On Jan 23, 2016
projet:
mr.CHM...just want to ask,u said one should skip the questions he does not know,rather than skipping n leaving it blank what if some one decide to pick a random option,in case one is lucky a enough to get it right n have additional mark.
what is ur opinion sir.

sorry for the late reply, been very busy....If you do that, you might end up having extra time in your hands with little or no questions to answer anymore because you had selected random answers earlier.

my advice...skip the ones that u feel will be time consuming....later when you've answered so many that u are sure of and the odd questions start recurring, then u can try answering them. You can start doing random selection when you have like 2-3mins left.

warm regards.
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: 2013 Nigeria Liquified Natural Gas (NLNG) Graduate Trainee by CHM11: 9:15pm On Jan 23, 2016
if they like, they should send mails...if they like they should go find Feedgas in Mars...

TRASH=LAWMA!!

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