like1:


See mumu, you have a wife at home but your older sister is not married but u think she is doing better than you. Na your sister fit una.

If you can't give a constructive contribution, it'll be better you keep mute than be a repugnant nuisance.

like1:


If this is not entitlement mentality I don't know what is it. OP do what you can do for your parents without complaining. No dey look your older sister. If you no fit too, lock up too and stop being a baby.

Your sister sends 40k monthly, she is already trying. You re calculating how much is 40k in Canadian dollars. You are even expecting your sister who has spent only 5 years in Canada to be able to have enough money to bring you abroad. If your sister id actually who you say she is, it is obvious entitlement mentality from your side is a major factor to the way she behaves.

Because there is nothing she ever does that will be appreciated.

Moreover, do you know her burdens in Canada, have you tried to inquire? Does she work as a student? 20 hours a week? Has she overstayed her visa and not able to renew and now staying illegally? What is her status in Canada.

I'm saying she's not helping her parents and your very intelligent brains interpretes it as entitlement mentality. Hope you are of no use to your parents like she is.

Mumusaphire:
u don't need to abuse before u bring out point na. Be mature. U come carry another family matter for head like gala.

I have learnt that Evil people always look for an excuse to defend their deeds. That guy is not someone to meet.

oluwaseyi0:


Shut up and let your sister rest, before you people will push her into depression

if e easy to just clean yansh for canada why you no go? entitled fellows

the young lady is probably struggling over their in Canada with no one to even rely on yet you people are talking trash in Nigeria and imagining her to be richer than Dangote

You must have had a very disturbed childhood with parental absence. Hence everything i wrote makes no sense to you.

Skybleu:
My dear, do whatever gives YOU joy. Don't live your life for anyone else

For my mum and dad, i will sacrifice for them. Seems you must have lived a loveless life.

akinade28:
Some people living abroad are oblivious of the current living cost in Nigeria. They assume everything is cheap and don't factor in inflation.

Earlier this year, my mum's friend (Mrs E) living in the UK, complainined to her that her own mom was always requesting for extra money. Mrs E assumed the monthly allowance she gives her aged mom should be more than enough than to meet her needs. She was suspecting foul play from her mom's caregivers and her siblings. My mom had to explain the present situation of things in the country and the inform her of the current price of regular household items. Then, Mrs E could understand the reason why she need her mom more money.

My brother, your kind heart towards your parents is commendable. I will suggest you get someone your sister listen to or respects to explain the situation of things to her. Maybe she will see the need to send more money to her parent.

However, if she refuse to change, stop expecting any money from her. Leave her to her conscience. Just assume you and your younger sibling are the only kids your parents have. This is will save you from any unnecessary anger, worries, anxiety or bitterness towards your sister. See any financial support from her as extra money.

Pray that God will bless the work of your hands, so that you can have more than enough to give your parents the best they deserve. The harsh truth is that if you were the only child or any of your siblings dies today, you have will have no choice than to take care of your parent alone. It is better to carry your cross joyfully and leave your siblings to their conscience.

May the good God continue to bless you and increase the work of your hands.

Thanks so much for this. ,👍🏾

EkoErrands:


You 2 must have duped her b4

Negative. By the way, the case here is on helping the parents.

9japride:
Though she might be struggling. Or may be she has a skull to settle with your parents. Nobody should mentioned that statement that says 'nobody owes anyone'. If one should follow that statement, it then means if that selfish person is sick, nobody owes him/her nothing too. Life is simple, it's only the wicked ones that finds excuses for their wicked acts.

Your last statement is more than true sir

Exmilitant:
Op, forget your sister and do the much you can for your parent.

Stop complaining!

I'm just airing out my mind here. No be by force to comment bros.

Election is a two way thing. You either win or lose. Interim government callers are those who haven't accepted to lose.

Praisepriest:
Oga calm down, abroad no be as you see am here. Calculate the 40k for a year. Parents must have something to fall back on after retirement. I be man e no easy. Me too get sister there she lost her job last year.i dey pity. No carry your life put into one person. E go crash. I have kids and am working on my retirement despite giving them the best. God bless you all in your family.

So if you dey the same situation, you don't see it as your responsibility to care for those WHO CARED FOR YOU?
With this kind of mentality, maybe parents should also have the mentality that after secondary school, every mallam to his own kettle.

Klass99:


Lmao 🤣. I feel you and I agree with this. Parenting can be stressful and thankless.

I prefer to spend time and money on my parents than give birth to children to do so, because with my parents I am aware of the sacrifices they made, how it benefited and still benefits me today, and I am more than happy to reciprocate their care, do good and do right by them.

With a child or children........that's just a gamble with no guarantee of returns on investment and a risk I am not willing to take. Make I spend my money on the good humans who already exist as my family and friends, at least these relationships are mutually beneficial in real time, not heavily one sided and there's no waiting for years to eat the fruit of my labour as it is with children.

You are on point. It is a gamble, a child can turn good or bad.

LikeAking:


Naso life be..

Many of our parents will suffer.

The world don woke, every body don Sabi him rights.

It's not the right of children to Carter for their parents...

Awon woke generation...

Sad. But we move.

Gloriagee:
How bad can she be doing to be sending 40k? Unless she has a drug habit or shopping addiction, she can definitely do better...

Well, we move! That's my approach to life. I have zero expectations and that's putting it mildly. Just remove her from your mind and please don't wish her bad. Take care

Thank you. On the last sentence, I really don't give a hoot about her existence. Only one of the kids is dependent at the moment, and will soon get out of it. My own is let us pity our parents at least.

Wawelexy:


You took the word out of my mouth.... OP will be shocke to discover he is actually doing better here in Nigeria than the so called sister living abroad...

She was partly sponsored there to do a Masters Programme. Few months later she got a job in a financial company and has been doing that for 5 years. Please tell me how I will be doing better than her.
I am here. I have a barbing saloon with 2 barbers, I have my own car that I use for cab hailing. And every month I bring out at least 70k to support my parents from my earnings because of their condition. I still have a wife at home. And I am not complaining. Please the situation you may considering isn't what it is.

Thanks for the messages. I am sharing my story here is to air out a piece of my mind and also I believe many people also do have stories of sibling rivalries.
For those who told me to call and discuss issues with, anytime I do that is a reason for a fight. Infact I have been exhaustive on that. She has left the family whatsapp group and claims we all use it to extort her. 2 of us are doing well for ourselves.

xavuv:
What makes you think she's doing well for herself, Because she says so? Or you think so? ...She may just be hyping herself unnecessarily. Abroad is not a land flowing with milk and honey.

Even if I dey wipe nyansh for Canada, e no go reach situation wey I no fit send at least $150 back home to my parents. This girl sends 40k. $55 a month for your parents that trained you. That is unthinkable.

Here is my story....

I have a 3 siblings and I am at odds with my eldest who is a lady. The way it is, I may never have a conversation with her again.

She was the first person to be invested in by my parents after which I came. Luckily enough, she was able to strike gold in her career and do well for herself. She went abroad for her masters with my parents supporting with half-payment. Unfortunately, whenever it came to family demands and helping the other younger siblings, she has either been negligent or grudgingly does so.

Few years after going abroad, she decided to lockup and sends only 40k home which is supposed to cater for food for a month.
Now parents are retired, the whole family weight falls on my following sibling and I. The youngest one education is on me. Happy she will finish soon. Parents need to be supported in challenging times, one is coping with diabetes and the other is with some challenging issues I can't say here. Their savings are being sapped by their needs to keep living on.

But my so-called elder sister based in Canada despite knowing their condition is silent. She still sends her peanuts, while I and my younger brother who is an upcoming fashion designer do 2X what she does. This aches our parents and sometimes makes our mother cry and our father rant with regret.

A time now came, our mum got admitted in the hospital. Condition was so salient that she had to be hospitalized for weeks. Hospital bill was 450k. The Canada-based first born doing a good job, who was always talking to her, praying with her on phone, etc only sent 100k. We the others did the rest. Glad mum is back at home but her heart is broken and has refused to talk with her. She's been in Canada for 5 years and has refused to even support any of her siblings to come abroad too.

My other siblings say because we all refuse to be dictated to by her is the reason for her behaviour. I don't care. Mine is that if you know that you are going to be useless to a family, let your parents know before hand so the money used in training/feeding you can be used for farming business which will despite bad weather bring returns than on a child who feels is not obligated to support the parents who supported you all through.