So this dumbarse is still on NL and he's still a dumbarse? Interesting, once a dumbarse alyways a dumbarse I guess

Nah, my man can't be caught doing this. He has more important issues to be concerned with

Good day,

This thread is as a result of this comment,

francafrank:

You are right dear, after rescuing a woman who had been abused for over 4yrs by her hussy. Two days after she came to my office then to tell me that she misses her husband and would want to go back. When asked why she said the house was too quiet as nobody was shouting at her. Can you imagine?

It however took psychiatric evaluation and treatment to bring her back to sanity.

I want us to interact,

* How do these women get to this point in their lives?

* What is it about their abusers that makes them wants to go back to them?

* And do they exist men who enjoy being abused as well?

Please, let's post our comments without insultive words as we all know this is a very sensitive issue, thanks.

coogar:

i already said there are some women who get excited from stuff like this. they want to be dominated.

Why coogar? How did they get to this point?

Icherishu and others,

We need live stories like yours to let others know they can break out from their abusers and still be strong to move on, so thanks for sharing.

Keep 'em coming guys.

francafrank:

You are right dear, after rescuing a woman who had been abused for over 4yrs by her hussy. Two days after she came to my office then to tell me that she misses her husband and would want to go back. When asked why she said the house was too quiet as nobody was shouting at her. Can you imagine?

It however took psychiatric evaluation and treatment to bring her back to sanity.

What exactly is the problem with these women? How did they get to this point that, they ENJOY being abused cos I really can't get this.

bjennifer: I want to know, is there anyone who goes through this Menace. You see someone you really like but when he shows interest quickly you pull back and then the one who really doesn't send you is the one you are head over heels for...
The more he's unpredictable the more you can't seem to get him out of your head, it becomes another season of The Chase!!!
You like the chase more than the actual relationship....
I don't know if its a psycological issue because that's my menace!

Hi bjennifer,

Am positive most people on here have gone down this road and many still will but what they often fail to realise is, they are also part of the cycle,"head over heels for him but he's head over heels for another unpredictable being" and round and round the chase goes leaving hearts broken.

Oh no, am not saying the chase and being unpredictable ain't cool - on the contrary, me likey but If you really want a relationship, you need to define it first of, and then be on the look-out for someone who feels same way as you do, someone who you compatible with, someone whose flaws you can live with, someone who's willing to work with you and lots more.

That's right bjennifer, being in a relationship isn't all about the chase, it transcends way beyond that.

So the real question here is, what is IT you want doll? A relationship or a fling?

Chidonsky: @carmelion...d bolded abt man is an expression dat shld b re-address there shld b no room 4 sentimental justification...I personal dnt encourage ladies 2 leap wit a lazy bottom bt if a man suddenly crash as a result of certain circumstances beyond human handle do u term such man unproductive and ambitionless...Is hard time dat ladies shld kill dat egocentric mentality of monetary love and generalisation...in 21century women nw see's men wit atm endowement as d men wit only marital prospective...it wn't b wrong if i say women are obiageli(meaning women come chop)are u all encouraging over dependent and laziness 2 d women folks...if a woman can't sacrifice little 2 make relationship or marriage work i wonder if love do exist...love shld nt b 1 sided because of d advocacy for gender liberty and equality...wit love u can brush up someone 2 bcom successful nt every failure 2day is failure by birth dey wer either into 1 venture or d other bt mayb somtin happened along d line u never can tell ur caring,advice,love may jst b wat he need 2 spark up again wit success....nt waiting 4 already made man 2 envelope wit even dos made men were 1nce failures in thier life endeavour b4 dey got it right or became who dey are 2day either by hardwork,luck,connection or favour...I once read d story of Tunde Obe a celebrity who had noting wen his girlfriend who later became his wife...he had noting d women gave up everytin 2 support him he later became a star nw dat same man is a millionaire 2day tnk God his wife stood by him in tin and thorns..gues wat..2day he respect d woman alot and esteem her as part of his success story...''life is a random walk "2day is bad does nt mean dat 2moro is nt bright....i tink love is better defined by hw much u can impact in someone's life nt hw much u can take 4rm him or her...let encourage love nt perversiveness, inequality and selfishness.tnx

Hey, I think you misunderstood her.

And to your comment, I believe a true relationship involves;

* both hands working on it

* sacrifices and compromises by both parties

* finance, love and encouragement

"wit love u can brush up someone 2 bcom successful

And if anyone is planning to do the above, he or she should do so with an open mind devoid of expectations...

carmelion: Good morning dolllllls

This week is operation Jump and pass

This is to all the single ladies who think they can perform a miracle by trying to change a guys life.

You know he is an armed robber,but you want to change him

A cultist ?you want to change him

A womaniser?You want to change him

A ritualist?you want to change him.

A lazy man who depends on you for every damn thing.You transport yourself to his house ,spend your money to feed yourselves when you get there,he begs you money for airtime,you wash his clothes,clean the house,and then when its time to go,you give him money for his upkeep and the transport yourself back home.

This is no longer a relationship,it is now a project,its now a liability
My dear it does not work that way,especially if he has not shown any interest in changing himself.Leave the changing part for the Pastors and the Counselors.Enjoy your life o.Better to remain single than to manage your relationship in sadness.

To single ladies in this kind of situation,I say drop that relationship like its hot!!!.

TeamJuMp&PaSs

Damn

This is some funny facts but lots of truths in it, team jump & pass, lol.

Hey Carmie.

coogar:

she likes the gifts & the petting that comes with it. some women can't do without being petted or indulged.

Really? She likes the gifts and petting that comes after being battered? Does that sound sane to you coogar?

Or wait a minute, are you trying to tell us it's okay for a woman to be battered so long as there are "gifts and petting to indulge her with" afterwards?

damiso:

She now lives with him.She has made alot of wrong choices that need slaps I agree but not right now.She needs to just leave that enviroment.

I myself have never gotten the abusive boyfriend bit its boyfriend not marriage BUT one thing I have learnt is to try not to judge a person until I have walked a mile in their shoes.

Well said!

Guys, this is not the time to rain insults on her even though she deserves loads of it. I had the urge to also do same when I first read her story but held back cos I got strucked with what the aim of this thread is.
I believe this thread was created to HELP those in abusive relationship regardless of their mistakes, so please let's stick to that.

And even if her story were supposedly made up, you never know how much help we are given to someone out there who truly is going through this same shyte but scared of opening up?

No info on here is a waste, this is WWW.

theLORDreigns:

I went 2 d contact section of d above link & spoke with Hassan Jaffer (+1 416 460 8003). He said he was presently in Canada & the organisation doesn't deal with such cases. They provide aids in form of dental treatments and help build schools.

He wanted 2 give me d contact of someone in Zanzibar but its d same story-they can't help

Well done but I don't get, have you called the Zanzibar's contact and same thing was said?

kenyattamoore:

This won't be so easy to overcome kenyattamoore, but I need you to fight this with all you got.

True you made a grave mistake being in this relationship and all, do not give up on winning this, it's a worst thought than death.

coogar:

i really don't think it's about affordability - the idea that a gift is coming from a loved one is appetising on it's own. in all seriousness, most women can afford the gifts men give them but it's not really about the value, it's the affection & the intent attached to the gifts that melts the heart of a woman.

Same way I think it's about affordability coogar, we never know.

True, the idea of a gift coming from a loved one is appetising, but it isn't anymore if you are the one asking for the gift to be given with such cray actions.

kenyattamoore: I am in a abusive relationship ,this for those who are saying what they will or not do if they find themselves in this situation .the last time he beats was yesterday .as I am writting now ,I have a bloody eye and wounds everywhere ...he squeezed my throat so hard until I stopped breathing ,kicked me in the head repeatdly and also kicked me in my lower abdomen,am still bleeding right now and I am very scared
I tried leaving for for several times but he would come to my house and cry his eyes out ...if the crying doesn't work he will result on threatening me ,like he did yesterday ,he says nobody else will have me because he would have killed me before it happens ...so I really don't have any choice right now and no strength to fight no more ,I know I am already dead anyway,just a matter of time

Your situation is a sad one but your giving up and not fighting this is saddest.

If you can pour your hearts here to us, why can't you confide in someone whereever you are? Or is it your secret wish to die by his hands?

francafrank:

Sometimes Women get abused because they want to get gifts from their men. Let me share a little experience 4years ago i was part of an EU funded project where women were trained to stand up for their rights and report abuse and violence against them in their community. Paralegals were hired and trained to handle such cases. At a review meeting with the women one of them reported that a neighbor had been beaten up by her husband. On inquiry the abused woman told me that she wanted her husband to beat her up because that is the only way she can have the new hollandis wrapper in vogue. Apparently after beating her she will be "begged" with any gifts of her choice.

Sensitization is the watch word.
.

This is sickening!

If she could afford hollandis and every other gifts she so desire, will she be having such insane thoughts that could lead to her untimely death?
My goodness, of what use is a dead corpse to hollandis or a bruised eye to one? Her mentality is simply flawed, geez!

IvyBlue: Cowgirl you are a good person ,God bless you!!

Aww dear, am honoured - thank you and AMEN!

It's NOT a wrong thing to fall in love, it's just sad that falling in love with the WRONG person makes it so.

@Op,I can see that you are an intelligent dude so I want you to bounce back and focus on your studies, it's all you should be bothered about right now.

And for the money given out? Forget it man, it's gone, she ain't gonna pay you a dime back.

Bwahahahahahahahahah

And why are y'all crying on their behalf, isn't it obvious they don't need it?

Ewwwwww!

This woman is helpfully- demonic and should be treated as such!

Hello everyone..

This topic got me interested cos am frightened by the number of teens attempting and committing suicides.
Can't say about now but earlier this year, there were several stories of such on the front page, I always read them teary-eyed.
Lemme share this,

Presently, I have this teen (a girl of 20) who confided in me of her suicidal intentions, this was as a result of my closeness with her + I also observed that whenever she's with me, her mind travels - this got me even more interested and then, gradually and gently I probed and there! I got to know her mum was late, and her step mum (who is still yet to conceive) maltreats her and her brother every second she's home and their good-for-nothing-promiscuous pig of a dad? Dude does absolutely nothing to protect them, he'l rather whip them leaving both scarred.
Each time I see or remember those scars on her body, I cringed and cuss both parents to their deaths.

There is nothing she does that pleases both parents, they are always finding one fault or the other to get mad @ her and hit her, no praise whatsoever is given her even when she comes out top in her class, irony! I mean this girl is damn brilliant (God bless her soul).

To cut the story short, I find time to always go visit her whenever I have my free-time, take a walk with her so I can uplift her spirit and also be her confidant and friend, kinda hectic as both parents won't let her use a mobile device.

pointers I feel should help suicidal victims (esp teens)is our telling or lying to them we've had similar suicidal thoughts in the past, trust me, it does help - cos people feel comfortable and then open up knowing someone has gone through the same ordeal as they.

Secondly, one has to be very observant (with our teens) as we can quickly tell when something is wrong in/with them.

C'mon Coogar, that was really uncalled for.

Cool thread Tgirl

jakeng: Hello all,
I recently met this girl and the second day she was talking marriage with me and her having my baby. She claims she had loved me from the day she sets eyes on me and am her perfect match.
She's a working class living in her father's house.

Nah, didn't see anything wrong with what she did Mr. She's was just being blunt to you about what she wants, which to me is cool.

"She's Desperate" LoL.. Nah, I don't think so - that's so 2000 and late if you ask me.

Currently, women are shying away from getting married than rushing into one.

Sad indeed,SMH!

"He was sleeping with me six times in a day. I kept complaining to him that I could not stand his intimate urge but he refused to listen to my plea; no family member was ready to help me, so I did what I did."

This is sickening, especially the part where she complained and NO FAMILY MEMBER was there to help.

Guess he never saw this coming huh, good riddance!