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Nairaland Forum / Dallazday's Profile / Dallazday's Posts
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Politics / Re: Nigeria Protests Over Biafra Activist's Arrest - BBC by Dallazday(m): 2:42pm On Nov 11, 2015 |
naijapips02:foolish fool |
Education / Re: How To Recover Or Bounce Back After A Bad First Year In School by Dallazday(m): 2:30pm On Nov 11, 2015 |
francizy:Linus mba francizy:Linus mba |
Politics / Re: Checkout The Pose Of President Buhari's Security Personel by Dallazday(m): 10:53am On Nov 11, 2015 |
divinehand2003:is this supposed to be funny? receive sense by fire |
Celebrities / Re: Damilola Attoh: “Any Teacher That Touches My Son Will Face The Devil” by Dallazday(m): 8:40pm On Nov 03, 2015 |
JanethEze:madam, stop saying rubbish!! How many have died? How many do u know of? Mrs lai Muhammad 3 Likes 1 Share |
Jokes Etc / A Young Man's Letter To His System Analyst !! by Dallazday(m): 2:03pm On Oct 29, 2015 |
I rather not be stingy # LaughOrSmile
A little humour
Marriage Software
This is what a guy wrote to our systems analyst
(Marriage Software Division):
Dear Systems Analyst,
I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my
program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that
the new program began unexpected Child Processing
and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In
addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs
and launches during systems initialization and then it
monitors all other system activities.
Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5" and "Golf 5.3"
no longer run, and crashes the system whenever
selected. Attempting to operate selected "Soccer 6.3"
always fails and "Shopping 7.1" runs instead. I cannot
seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst
attempting to run any of my favorite applications. Be it
online or offline.
I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend 7.0", but
uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please
help?
.... AND THIS IS WHAT OUR ANALYST SAID:
Dear Customer,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic
misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0
program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0
to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY
AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is
an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run
everything on your current platform.
You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still
convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not
designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall,
delete or purge the program files from the System once
it is installed.
Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife
2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See
manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors'
Fees).
Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it
Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can.
When any faults or problems occur, whatever you
think has caused them, you must run the.........
C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid
attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the
entire system.
It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE
ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that
the operating system will return to normal.
Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance
programme, can be very rewarding.
To get the most out of it, consider buying additional
Software such as "Flowers 2.0" and "Chocolates 5.0" or
"HUGS\ KISSES 600.0" or "TENDERNESS\
UNDERSTANDING 1000.0" or even Eating Out Without
the Kids 7.2.1" (if Child processing has already started).
DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary
2.1" (Short Skirt Version) or "One Nightstand
3.2" (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported
Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost
certainly CRASH.
BEST WISHES!
Yours,
Systems Analyst.
54 mins · Public |
Career / Re: For Bankers, Ex Bankers And Bankers To Be by Dallazday(m): 1:41pm On Oct 12, 2015 |
those of you thinking about going back to lecture halls, back in the university, I am certain you Were among those that ridiculed education students claiming to be in banking and finance, marketing and insurance departments, forming superior students. now you are thinking of going back to d same classroom you ridiculed, i just wish the educational sector will formulate strict policies against human being's from other sectors flooding the education sector and destroying the sector for us! "if you studied banking in school, go back to the bank. if you studied marketing, go back to the streets. go and market goko cleanser. live the classrooms and lecture halls for educationist " 24 Likes 6 Shares |
Culture / Re: Photos Of Alaafin Of Oyo Training Boxing by Dallazday(m): 12:58am On Oct 12, 2015 |
searching4love:foolishness runs in your blood!! my God shall dash you sense, like it or not, you must receive sense by fire by force. |
Nairaland / General / Re: Huge Python Killed Along Lekki/epe Express Road This Afternoon (pics) by Dallazday(m): 8:16pm On Sep 02, 2015 |
Truckpusher:is this supposed to be funi pls! your foolish is So obvious, try a psychiatrist |
Travel / Re: Container Fell Down From Ojuelegba Bridge (Photos) by Dallazday(m): 8:13pm On Sep 02, 2015 |
hakeem4:is this supposed to be funi pls hakeem4:is this supposed to be funi pls 1 Like |
Nairaland / General / Re: Huge Python Killed Along Lekki/epe Express Road This Afternoon (pics) by Dallazday(m): 12:21am On Sep 01, 2015 |
Truckpusher:na snake be your future abi? you need Jesus |
Travel / Re: Extortionists At The Airports by Dallazday(m): 11:56pm On Aug 21, 2015 |
some legendary liars have turned this tread to a lying zone |
Celebrities / Re: Yemi Alade Stuns In Ankara Shorts And Shoe [photo] by Dallazday(m): 9:46pm On May 28, 2015 |
naijaboiy: naijaboiy:it is just u 1 Like |
Phones / Re: Lagos Woman Weeps After Discovering She Bought Phone Full Of Fufu by Dallazday(m): 1:46am On May 12, 2015 |
Anyi3:you follow joor |
Politics / Re: Imo PDP Beat, Attack Residents, Want Ihedioha Declared Winner by Dallazday(m): 9:50pm On Apr 13, 2015 |
Nwaoguta:mugu |
Politics / Re: Push APC Into Atlantic Ocean, Agbaje Tells Igbo by Dallazday(m): 6:08pm On Apr 10, 2015 |
MugabeRobert:mumu. thunder fire you dia |
Politics / Re: Rasheed Ladoja Secretly Refunded N500 Million Of Monies Stolen From Oyo Treasury by Dallazday(m): 5:35pm On Apr 10, 2015 |
LordExecutioner:this goes a long way to confirm y u are been lebelled a fool |
Politics / Re: Rasheed Ladoja Secretly Refunded N500 Million Of Monies Stolen From Oyo Treasury by Dallazday(m): 5:28pm On Apr 10, 2015 |
abduljabbar4:mumu, anuofia, ewu hausa, amadioha kpo gi okwu dia |
Politics / Re: APC Kicks As Jonathan Meets Adams, Obanikoro In Lagos by Dallazday(m): 5:09pm On Apr 10, 2015 |
uselessgoat:my friend shurrap there. shut that proboscis you call mouth. na your mama and sisters be prostitutes. nonsense |
Celebrities / Re: Peter Okoye & Wife Lola Having A Silent Social Media War by Dallazday(m): 2:11pm On Apr 10, 2015 |
softapple:how you no go sabi d whole story, shea na them house boy you be ni abi na familiarity you dey form 1 Like |
Educational Services / Re: Ask Me Any Question At All As Regards ICAN Examinations & Prospect Of Accountant by Dallazday(m): 4:35pm On Apr 08, 2015 |
pls sir, Am an undergraduate of accounting education, can I apply for ICAN exams after my program? |
Educational Services / Re: Ask Me Any Question At All As Regards ICAN Examinations & Prospect Of Accountant by Dallazday(m): 3:22pm On Apr 08, 2015 |
isobayor:please sir, Am a undergraduate of accounting education, what do I need to be eligible for ICAN 1 Like |
Politics / Re: Caption This Photo Of Fashola And Tinubu Staring At The Oba Of Lagos by Dallazday(m): 12:55pm On Apr 07, 2015 |
irunoobo:look at this foolish human being, a fool a your age will first in the forest of the gods. ewu gambia 4 Likes |
Celebrities / Re: Genevieve Nnaji Vs Yemi Alade Vs Nse Ikpe:Who Rocked The Natural Hair Beta(Pics by Dallazday(m): 12:32pm On Apr 07, 2015 |
suwailad:what has igbo people got to do with the topic at hand now, mumu |
Crime / Re: Pastor, Wife Arrested In Akwa-ibom For Selling Baby For N300,000 by Dallazday(m): 12:15pm On Apr 07, 2015 |
omniwater007:pastore Na psg player abeg |
Celebrities / Re: Rita Dominic Reacts To Oba Akiolu's Threat To Igbos In Lagos by Dallazday(m): 12:05pm On Apr 07, 2015 |
silverdam:mumu |
Politics / Re: Alleged Anti-igbo Comment: Catholic Church Group Tackles Oba Akiolu by Dallazday(m): 1:58am On Apr 07, 2015 |
ChinemeOkpan:Na better thunder like this go fire you 2 Likes |
Politics / Re: “Every Ethnic Group Safe Under Me” - Ambode Disowns 'Die In The Lagoon" Speech by Dallazday(m): 1:50am On Apr 07, 2015 |
dipopooo:you have been marked for death by witches in your miserable village |
Celebrities / Re: Nollywood Stars React To Kunle Afolayan Tribal Rants On Twitter by Dallazday(m): 12:58am On Apr 07, 2015 |
phantonce:you just said nonsense. native fowl |
Politics / #baba Now That You Are There!! Things You Must Do For Us by Dallazday(m): 11:56am On Apr 01, 2015 |
MY MESSAGE TO BUHARI AS HE WINS!! # BabaNowThatYouAreThere . 1) Dont come-up with 36-point agenda. Just give us Light and security. Odas will fall in place 2) Reduce the costs for data bundles 3) Make Fashola a minister with 2 portfolios. He can handle it. 4) Baba, the number of fish in each tin of Titus sardine used to be 8 in 1999. Please do something about it. 4) shut all borders. Our jail candidates must not be allowed to escape to Cotonou. 5) Don't Use 1billion Naira to Eat..No Be Food We Say Make You Go Chop! 6) Please arrest that lady that says your call credit is low please recharge! 7) stop jumbo salary 4 d politicians & pay dem like civil servant 2 discourage rogues from our polity don't use all our money to buy shoes..use ur old military boots if necessary 9) padlock Patience Jonathan's mouth like Trojan horse. She speaks bad English 10) let there be electricity, we don't want to be hugging transformers 11) we want NTA to be clear like CNN, BBC, Aljazeera and so on. |
Politics / Re: Police List 15 Major Electoral Offences Voters Must Avoid by Dallazday(m): 11:26pm On Mar 27, 2015 |
David0:count your vote" Shea Na you wan announce the result abi you be party representative!!! you never chi chum chin |
Celebrities / Re: Photos From Brymo's Shirtless Performance On Stage Last Night by Dallazday(m): 12:15am On Mar 22, 2015 |
and that calabar boy they call iyanya will be laughing and fanning himself after seeing this picture, brymo you for fine singlet wear Na, kilode |
Education / Re: He Gave Us Toys Not Laptops. Why Can't Gov. Okorocha Be Real For Once? (PHOTOS). by Dallazday(m): 6:40pm On Mar 20, 2015 |
ilovecritics:it's better than not having one atoll. meet t.b Joshua for urgent prayers. ur case is really pathetic |
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