34 Thibaut Courtois (Chelsea) wins a free kick in the defensive half. 34 Foul by Markus Henriksen (Hull City). 33 Corner, Hull City. Conceded by Diego Costa. 33 Foul by Victor Moses (Chelsea). 33 Andrew Robertson (Hull City) wins a free kick on the left wing. 32 Foul by Gary Cahill (Chelsea). 32 Robert Snodgrass (Hull City) wins a free kick in the defensive half

29 Corner, Chelsea. Conceded by Andrew Robertson. 27 Delay over. They are ready to continue. 26 Delay in match Adama Diomande (Hull City) because of an injury.

25 Attempt missed. Gary Cahill (Chelsea) right footed shot from outside the box is close, but misses to the left. Assisted by Victor Moses. 24 Eden Hazard (Chelsea) wins a free kick on the left wing. 24 Foul by Markus Henriksen (Hull City). 21 Attempt missed. Willian (Chelsea) right footed shot from the centre of the box misses to the right. Assisted by Diego Costa.

Commentary 19 Corner, Hull City. Conceded by N'Golo Kante. 16 Attempt missed. Willian (Chelsea) right footed shot from the right side of the box is close, but misses to the left. Assisted by N'Golo Kante. 14 Foul by Robert Snodgrass (Hull City). 14 Willian (Chelsea) wins a free kick on the left wing. 11 Attempt blocked. David Luiz (Chelsea) right footed shot from outside the box is blocked. 10 Foul by David Meyler (Hull City). 10 Eden Hazard (Chelsea) wins a free kick in the attacking half.

Prediction: 0-2

Hull caretaker manager Mike Phelan on discussions over a permanent contract: "What needs to be resolved is the terms of the deal. It keeps changing. "One minute I think I've got something and the club are happy with it and the next minute it changes. "So it's just a case of thinking about all these new changes that are on the table and making a decision."

WHAT THE MANAGERS SAY
Chelsea head coach Antonio Conte: "It's important not to forget the past, because the past is very clear. We finished 10th last season and that means there were problems. "We don't have a magic wand to change the situation in a few months. We must work hard together and we are doing this. "We must understand that only through hard work can we close the gap."

The United States
government has reminded
president Muhammadu Buhari
that there was still so much
work to do in Nigeria to bring
about economic prosperity of
the country.
This was contained in a
congratulatory message by
US Secretary of State, John
Kerry to the government and
people of Nigeria on the
occasion of the country’s
56th Independence
Anniversary today.
Writing on behalf of
President Barack Obama and
the American people, Kerry
however expressed
confidence in Nigerians who
he said were working hard to
address current national
challenges.
Kerry’s statement read thus:
“On behalf of President
Obama and the American
people, I congratulate the
citizens of Nigeria as you
celebrate your Independence
Day on October 1.
President Muhammadu Buhari
and President of US Barack
Obama
“I recently returned from my
third trip to Nigeria as
Secretary, and I came away
with a strong sense of the
nation’s resolve to build a
better future. During my trip,
I was reminded that many
Nigerians are engaged in
bringing people together
across the divides of
culture, religious practices,
and ethnicity.
“There is still much work to
be done to provide economic
opportunities for all, end
corruption, win the fight
against Boko Haram, ensure
broad respect for human
rights and provide
humanitarian relief for
millions of displaced people.
But we know that Nigerians
are hard at work to address
these challenges.
“The United States looks
forward to deepening our
partnership and friendship
with Nigerians from all walks
of life, so that we may work
together for the betterment
of Nigeria and all of Africa.
“Best wishes to all of you on
this the 56th anniversary of
your independence.

Chelsea's Diego Costa scored
in both Premier League
fixtures against Hull in the
2014-15 season.
TEAM NEWS
Hull's Ahmed
Elmohamady is
suspended for the visit
of Chelsea as a result of
his red card last
weekend.
Forwards Will Keane and
Dieumerci Mbokani are
pushing for their first league
starts, along with midfielder
Markus Henriksen.
Chelsea defender John Terry
remains out with an ankle
injury, while midfielder Mikel
John Obi is missing because
of a muscle problem.
Long-term absentee Kurt
Zouma is three weeks away
from a return.
MATCH FACTS
Head-to-head
Hull have only won four of
the 44 meetings (D10, L30).
All four of those Hull
victories have come at
home, with the most recent
on 25 October 1988.
Chelsea are unbeaten in
all eight Premier League
meetings (W6, D2),
conceding just four goals.
Hull City
After winning their first
two league games of the
season, Hull have now
gone four games without a
victory (D1, L3).
The Tigers have conceded
nine goals in the last two
matches.
Robert Snodgrass has
scored five goals in his
last four games in all
competitions for club and
country.
The suspended Ahmed
Elmohamady will miss his
first Premier League game
- he was an ever-present
in 2013-14 and 2014-15.
Chelsea
Chelsea are without a win
in their last three league
matches (D1, L2).
They have conceded nine
goals in their last four
games in all competitions.
The Blues have used 17
players this season, the
fewest in the Premier
League. Hull are the next
lowest with 18.
Diego Costa has been
booked in four of his six
league games this season.

Line-ups
Everton
22Stekelenburg
23Coleman
6Jagielka
5Williams
20Oviedo
15Cleverley
18Barry
17Gueye
14Bolasie
10R Lukaku
8Barkley
Substitutes
1Robles
11Mirallas
12Lennon
19E Valencia
25Funes Mori
26Davies
30Holgate
Crystal Palace
30Mandanda
2Ward
5Tomkins
27Delaney
34Kelly
18McArthur
16Ledley
10Townsend
42Puncheon
11Zaha
17C Benteke
Substitutes
4Flamini
7Cabaye
9Campbell
13Hennessey
14Lee Chung-yong
19Fryers
21Wickham

Crystal Palace have won their last three Premier League games so their confidence will be sky high. Everton have also been impressive but they suffered their first league defeat under Ronald Koeman at Bournemouth last time out. The Toffees put in a pretty average performance too, and I think we will see a reaction to that here. Prediction: 2-1

Stats
Head to Head
13-04-2016 Crystal Palace 0:0 Everton

07-12-2015 Everton 1:1 Crystal Palace
The Eagles are unbeaten
in their last three Premier
League visits to Goodison
Park - including two 3-2
wins.
Everton have won just
one of their last six
Premier League meetings
with Crystal Palace (D3, L2)
- a 1-0 victory in January
2015 courtesy of a goal
from Romelu Lukaku.
Everton
Everton are looking for a
third successive home
league win. They have
gone six league games
unbeaten at Goodison Park
- their best run since an
eight-match streak
between January and April
2015.
An Everton win will give
them 16 points and equal
their highest tally after
seven matches of a
Premier League season,
set in 2004-05. They went
on to record their best
Premier League finish that
campaign, ending fourth.
Romelu Lukaku has scored
three goals in his last four
top-flight appearances
against Crystal Palace.
Yannick Bolasie has
provided two assists for
Everton this season, only
one fewer than he
managed in the Premier
League in the whole of
2015-16 for Palace.
Crystal Palace
Crystal Palace could equal
their top-flight record of
three consecutive away
wins, set on three
occasions since the
beginning of 2014.
Palace have collected 10
points from their last four
Premier League games,
just one fewer than their
other 21 fixtures in 2016.
The Eagles have gone 11
Premier League games
without a clean sheet -
their last coming against
Everton in a 0-0 draw at
home in April 2016.
Christian Benteke has
scored four goals in five
Premier League
appearances against
Everton.

A win will take Ronald
Koeman's side to second in
the table

There's no action nigerians would take that will amaze me ...
so na d animal way God don punish finish... na e go hungry dem to chop...meanwhile some nairalander's don dey look 4 the one way dey go kill chop
There-is-GOD oh

Three fathers are talking about their sons. The first father says, "my sons a successful doctor. He's so rich, he just bought his best friend a Lamborghini". The second father said, "my sons a successful hedge fund manager. He's so rich, he just bought his best friend a yacht". The third father says, "my sons the CEO of a big company. He's so rich he just bought his best friend a castle". Right then, a fourth father walks in and asks what they're talking about. The other three fathers say, "we're talking about our successful sons, what does yours do?" The fouth father says, "well my sons a gay stripper." The other three fathers say, "oh wow, you must be really disappointed." The fourth father replies with, "well not really, he's doing really well. His three boyfriends just bought him a Lamborghini, a yacht, and a castle."

Boss: Hey, idiot! You are late to work AGAIN!!! Employee: Sorry, Boss... It's just that my wife is going to have a baby... Boss: Really? Congratulations! Employee: Thank you!!! Boss: And when is it going to be born? Employee: In nine months...

General Overseer of Mount Zion Faith Global Ministries Inc, (By Fire By Fire) , Nnewi, Anambra State, Bishop Abraham Chris Udeh has called on President Muhamma du Buhari to immediately restructur e the country into six regions. He said failure to do so would be an invitation to disintegrati on. Bishop Udeh said this in reaction to the current economic recession and agitation for self- determinat ion sweeping across the South- south and South-east regions. He said the economy of the nation would be more manageabl e if the country was structured into six regions with each of the confederal regions managing its economy based on resources available to it and contribute to the central governmen t. Bishop Udeh insisted that the on-going economic crisis, militancy in the Niger Delta and the agitation of the Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB) for self- determinat ion would not abate until the country was restructur ed. “The people of Niger Delta cry of marginalisa tion and say they want to be on their own. The Indigenous People of Biafra say they want self- determinat ion, you have Boko Haram fighting in the North- East and the Fulani herdsmen on rampage. These are enough indications that Nigeria is due for restructuri ng, or it will naturally break up. President Buhari should listen to the voice of wisdom and start the process of restructuring before it is too late. The moment the country is restructur ed, that will be the end of any form of agitation or militancy, and anybody who leads Nigeria as a president then will have little or no headache,” the Bishop submitted. He said the problem in the Niger Delta region could not be solved by deploying more soldiers to fight the militants or harass members of the communiti es. He noted that it would even make the militants be more aggressive to blow up more oil pipelines which would further cripple the economy already in recession. Restructure Nigeria or risk break- up, Bishop tells Buhari From David Onwuchekwa, Nnewi General Overseer of Mount Zion Faith Global Ministries Inc, (aka By Fire By Fire), Nnewi, Anambra State, Bishop Abraham Chris Udeh has called on President Muhamma du Buhari to begin the process of restructuring the country. He said failure to return the country to six regional structures would be an invitation to disintegrati on. Bishop Udeh said this in reaction to the current economic recession and agitation for self- determinat ion sweeping across the South South and South East regions. He said the economy of the nation would be more manageabl e if the country could be brought to six region structures, with each of the confederal region would managing its economy based on the resources available to it and then contribute to the central government. Bishop Udeh insisted that the on-going economic crisis, militancy in the Niger Delta and the agitation of the Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB) for self- determinat ion would not abate until the country was restructur ed. “The people of Niger Delta cry of marginalisa tion and say they want to be on their own. The Indigenous People of Biafra say they want self- determinat ion, you have Boko Haram fighting in the North- East and the Fulani herdsmen on rampage. These are enough indications that Nigeria is due for restructuri ng or it will naturally break. President Buhari should listen to the voice of wisdom and start the process of restructuri ng before it is too late. The moment the country is restructur ed, that will be the end of any form of agitation or militancy, and anybody who leads Nigeria as a president will have little or no headache,” the Bishop submitted. He said the problem in the Niger Delta region could not be solved by deploying more soldiers to fight the militants or harass members of the communiti es. He noted that it would even make the militants be more aggressive to blow up more oil pipelines which would further cripple the economy already in recession... This is where the BIG question comes in... SHOULD NIGERIA BE RESTRUCTURED ?!!! and stat your reason- please.

prediction-
Swedish Allsvenskan-Malmo FF - Elfsborg 56 %(Home win) 13 %(Draw) 31 %(Away win)

head to head stat-

18-04-2016-Elfsborg 0:1 Malmo FF

12-09-2015 -Malmo FF 1:1 Elfsborg

11-05-2015_ Elfsborg 2:2 Malmo FF

goal time - 90'
Halftime (0-0)

+

United forward Anthony Martial will miss the visit of Leicester because of heavy bruising on his calf and ankle.

Luke Shaw and Henrikh Mkhitaryan are fit after groin and thigh injuries respectively but Phil Jones is out.

Leicester keeper Kasper Schmeichel has overcome concussion but has a muscle strain which could delay his return.

Marcin Wasilewski is banned after his midweek red card against Chelsea, while Nampalys Mendy will not be risked.

League:
England League Cup
Country:
England
Swansea City 1 - 2
time/goal by 90' Gylfi Sigurdsson
(HT 0-0)
Manchester City
time/goals by
49' Clichy
67' Aleix Garcia Serrano

Game Time: finished'

I just dey laugh man u... Cuz if dey no win or draw ...hmm ... They go lose @least 30 percent of their fans including me ... I don talk my mind oh...

On Monday, Sam Hart, an SSA
to the Abia State governor,
Okezie Ikpeazu, announced
that MadeInAba.com.ng will go
live on October 1. Many of us
are old enough to remember
when ‘Aba Made’ was used
as an insult, but going by the
reactions to his tweet, all
this is about to change.
It is just as well, too. The
Ariaria market is one of the
largest in West Africa, but
has for long seemed cut off
from certain demographics in
Nigeria. Putting their work
online can broaden their
popularity. Here are a few
things that, if they get right,
can open new markets for
the industrious city.
#Do a few things very
well: There is no point
trying to do everything.
Simply being known as the
go-to place for shoes and
leather work in the country
is enough for a start. If
people know that they can
get great shoes, belts,
leather chairs and similar
products from Aba
significantly cheaper than
they would elsewhere, they
will make that association a
permanent one.
#
Keep your promises: One
reason people shy away
from patronising e-commerce
websites is the gap between
what you see on a website
and what eventually gets to
you. If you promise A and
deliver B, that trust is
broken and goodwill is lost.
Establishing a reputation for
delivering on promises is
priceless.
#Don’t compromise on
customer service: Far too
many businesses in Nigeria
have big ambitions without
the customer service to
match. In a time when word
of mouth passes faster than
ever, a few bad experiences
tweeted by those who
patronise Made In Aba
initially is enough to turn
people off, or at least make
them hesitate before making
a purchase. Attending to and
resolving customer issues in
a prompt manner is all-
important.
#Speed: It shouldn’t take a
week or more for goods to
be delivered like it happens
on other e-commerce sites –
which shall remain unnamed
– with regularity. These
products don’t come from
Planet Mars. One of things
that will make Made In Aba
popular is that it should be
more convenient to order
something from there than to
just enter a car and go get it
yourself. Convenience is
very important.
#Pay attention to
branding: Look and feel of
the website, product photos,
logos, and so on. This is a
world ruled by images. The
more attractive your website
and product photos are; the
more people are likely to
come back. Beauty is also
just more profitable in the
end, full stop.
Coming as it does in an era
of ‘Buy Naija to Grow the
Naira’, Made In Aba has its
foot in the door at least, but
once it goes live, it needs to
deliver. The patriotic fervour
it will excite will not last very
long, if it does not deliver on
its promise. Here is hoping it
does.

Until a few years ago, Africa Rising was a dominant theme in conversations about the global economy. That enthusiasm has since cooled, so that in newsrooms and think tanks and conference panels, “Africa Rising!” has given way to a more questioning “Africa Rising?” While some of that pessimism may be justified, we do not have the luxury of distracting ourselves with lamentations about our current circumstances. Instead of hoping for commodity prices to rise, African countries should seize the opportunities that these times present — not least here at today’s U.S.- Africa Business Forum — to lay a foundation for the kind of economic growth that transforms the lives of our people. One of our biggest challenges during the boom years was that we failed to convert the benefits of high commodity prices into more jobs and significant improvements in standards of living. Hence the great debate, during those years, about how to ensure that the growth became “inclusive.” Now that we are face to face with the vulnerabilities somehow hidden during the years of plenty, we should turn away from the unhelpful habits of the past and chart a new course. Since I signed the 2016 budget into law in May, Nigeria’s Ministry of Finance has released more than 400 billion naira for infrastructure spending — more than the total amount spent in 2015. Image Imag Ads by G In the face of dwindling oil revenues, we are turning to debt. We have begun raising a $1 billion Eurobond, our first in three years. We are also raising debt from the World Bank, the African Development Bank, the Chinese Ex-Im Bank and other development finance partners. Unlike in the past, when borrowed funds were frittered away on unproductive ventures, we will ensure their investment in the revival of stalled road, rail, power and port projects, and in agricultural initiatives that will significantly boost domestic production of food. For far too long we have under- invested in infrastructure — the most critical element for creating sustainable economic growth. The net effect: an avoidably high cost of doing business in Nigeria. But even more important than what the government is able to spend is the limitless investment potential of the private sector. This is why one of our main priorities is creating an environment in which private-sector capital can thrive. We are in particular using Public- Private Partnership models to support game-changing private-sector projects in power, refining, gas transportation and fertilizer production. We are also putting in place measures to ensure that monies intended to revamp our infrastructure do not end up in the pockets of corrupt officials and their collaborators. Already we are investigating the theft of several billion dollars in public funds by the previous administration. We are not only bringing these corrupt officials to justice, we are also setting up systems to make it impossible for such a grievous abuse of public trust to happen again. And of course, we are as committed to playing by the rule of law as we are to accounting for every naira and recovering them for our treasury. These were funds meant to build roads and railway lines and hospitals and schools, and to equip our military — which has for the last seven years been fighting one of the deadliest terrorist groups in the world. In that regard, we are already seeing the positive results of our anti- corruption efforts. Long starved of both materiel and morale by the corruption in the military’s upper echelons, our reinvigorated troops have now put Boko Haram permanently on the back foot. Some of the more than 2 million persons displaced by Boko Haram have started returning to their homes. Just last week, the people of Nigeria’s northeast celebrated their first incident-free Eid in years. Our troops have rescued thousands of men, women and children trapped in areas held by Boko Haram. To meet their urgent humanitarian needs, we are working with the United Nations and other partners to provide food, medical help and shelter. We will strive to ensure that no victim is left behind, including the 219 Chibok girls who have, since their abduction in April 2014, served as a global symbol of the war against Boko Haram and a reminder of the horrors that it has inflicted on innocent Nigerians. Even though the times are still dire, our economic recovery plan is already showing positive results. Investment’s share in gross domestic product is at its highest since 2010. Inflation is slowing; manufacturing confidence is rising. People are seeing and seizing opportunities to make money catering to the needs of Africa’s most populous country. Finally, our Social Investment Program — the most ambitious in Nigeria’s history — will kick off this month. In its first year it will provide cash transfers to 1 million of our poorest people, hot meals to 5 million primary-school children, cheap loans to more than 1 million artisans and traders, and job opportunities in health care, agriculture and software and hardware development for half a million young people. The journey ahead remains long and difficult. Our double-digit inflation, currency turmoil and downgraded ratings will not vanish overnight. We also know that the current recession is partly driven by the production outages in Nigeria’s Delta region, and we are confident that growth will accelerate as problems in that region are resolved. But the real story here is not the challenges, which are all too visible, but the opportunities. We have learned the necessary lessons. We will ensure that Nigeria does not slip back into a lazy and dangerous dependence on the price of crude oil. We will continue to insist on transparency and accountability in the use of government funds. And we will build an economy that prioritizes the ease of doing business and investing, and that thrives on the entrepreneurial energy and ingenuity of our people. To achieve these objectives, Nigeria needs robust and reliable partnerships such as we have with the United States. This is why I value the Commercial and Investment Policy Dialogue that we have just launched, and which we shall announce at today’s U.S.-Africa Business Forum. The months ahead will show not only that Nigeria is on the rise, but that this “Rising” is real and lasting — one that touches not just the statistical databases, but the lives of the people who elected us to deliver positive change.

.....if you want an England lady to love you give her a RING.....if you want an American lady to love you give her FLOWERS.........if you want an Italian lady to love you give her shoes........if you want a korean lady to love you give her your time.......if you want an Arab lady to love you give her jeweries........if you want a nigerian lady to love you give her what??

The All Progressives Congress, APC, has joined Muslim Faithful across the country in rejoicing over the joyous occasion of Eid-el- Kabir. In an e-mailed statement signed by the APC national chairman, John Odigie- Oyegun on Sunday, September 11, 2016, he urged Muslim faithful and indeed all Nigerians to use the occasion of Eid-el-Kabir to show love and promote harmonious and peaceful co- existence with one another irrespective of ethnic or religious affiliations. Chief Odigie-Oyegun also urged Nigerians to pray for peace and quick recovery of the nation’s economy. Ads by Google Ad covers the page Stop seeing this ad “Muslim faithful and indeed all Nigerians are enjoined to use the occasion of Eid-el- Kabir to pray for the peace, development and prosperity of the country. Indeed, Nigeria is today passing through challenging times in its socio-economic life, the Party calls on Nigerians to pray and support the administration as it works assiduously to pull the country out of the present hardships and restore the country on the path growth in all facets,” Odigie-Oyegun said. “Happily, the President Muhammadu Buhari-led APC administration is already employing all legitimate and innovative means to restore the country’s battered economy back to health in the quickest possible time. The APC national chairman called on Nigerians to support the recently launched national re- orientation campaign “Change Begins With Me’’. “In a bold move to repair our value system that has been badly eroded over the years, on September 8, 2016, President Muhammadu Buhari launched the laudable National Re-orientation Campaign “Change Begins With Me’’. “The APC appeals to all Nigerians to be part of this campaign which will institutionalise the best practice and time-honoured values of honesty, hard work, patriotism, abhorrence of corruption, accountability and integrity in our everyday life,” he concluded.

Abeg laugh small°* I went to a restaurant to eat with just N300, so I ordered food for N200 & meat N100. As I sat down to eat, a man sitting beside me and putting on a nice shirt said " I love the way you eat, add more food, I will pay". I hastily added food for N500 and continued eating. He said again " you eat so well, go and add 2bottles of soft drinks so that you can drink after eating". I hastily made the order. After drinking 1bottle, as I was trying to open the 2nd bottle, the opener fell down, and I bent to pick it, I discovered that the man was bare footed! !!!., i then noticed he was a mad man. He laughed at me and said *" the way dem go take beat you for here today ehh, na only God go fit save you* *LOL!!*

Okorocha Sacks Information Commissioner, Adviser on Orientation for Poor Image Mgt... For not managing the image of the governor and that of his government properly, especially as it relates to the recent rumour over the alleged death of the governor, Imo State Governor, Chief Rochas Okorocha, has sacked the Commissioner for Information, Public Utilities and Tourism, Chief Vitalis Orikeze Ajumbe, Special Adviser on Public Affairs and Enlightenment, Kelechi Okpalaeke, and the Transition Committee Chairman of Ikeduru Local Government Area, Hon. Obinna Nshirim. Okpaleke was also the Special Adviser on Information and Strategy/ Director General and State Orientation Agency (ISOA). They have seized to serve with immediate effect as appointees of the state government. Although the government did not give reasons for their sack, but wished them well in their future endeavours, THISDAY checks revealed that their sudden sack might not be unconnected with the way and manner the information relating to the wide-spread rumour of the governor’s death was managed.The governor through his Press Secretary, Sam Onwuemeodo had previously denied that he ever wrote or instructed any member of his executive to reply on his behalf, the letter written to him, by his predecessor, Dr Ikedi Ohakim, whose letter was variously described by pundits as very timely and apt. Onwuemeodo, had in a statement titled ‘Okorocha has not replied former Governor Ikedi Ohakim’s invidious open letter’, said the public should note that Okorocha has not replied any letter to Ohakim. Okorocha’’s denial and subsequent sack of his Information Commissioner was a surprise development to most Imolites, because Ajumbe, had released a rejoinder, where he defended his boss. “This is to inform the public that Okorocha has not replied the invidious open letter written against him and his government by Ohakim,” the statement said.

Sunday Okobi and Aliogo Ugochukwu A former President of the Nigerian Bar Association (NBA) President, Mr. Olisa Agbakoba, has posited that it is evident that the oil price shock contributed mainly to the downward spiral in the economy which resulted in the present recession. According to him, the first step to take in any ailing economy is to diagnose the problem, adding that “in Nigeria’s case, I would diagnose that it is suffering from malignant metabolic economic syndrome, complicated by inflation, high interest rates, unemployment, weak infrastructure and the results of the global fall in the price of oil.” In a statement he signed and issued to journalists yesterday, the Senior Advocate of Nigeria painted a gloomy picture of the country’s economic situation which he said if not treated with urgency by introducing strong fiscal, trade and monetary policy could lead to depression.Agbakoba noted in the statement that “We know that Nigeria has experienced mismanagement for several decades but now is not the time to lament but to chart a clear economic policy direction that will give value to the economy. This will entail developing macroeconomic models tailored to stimulate all sectors of the economy and catapulting us out of recession. “On the issue of monetary policy, there is a lot of confusion. There is the need for harmonisation between Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) policy which is leaning towards tight liquidity in a bid to harness inflation and the Minister of Finance call for increased public spending on capital projects.” He noted that that CBN has increased the Monetary Policy Rate (MPR) by 200 basis points from 12 per cent to 14 per cent to combat inflation and stimulate growth. “The MPR is the anchor rate at which the CBN, in performing its role as lender of last resort, lends to deposit banks to boost the level of liquidity in the banking system. If the apex bank intends to increase the level of liquidity in the economy, it reduces the MPR but increases it when it intends to tighten money supply. “By increasing MPR, CBN has unfortunately tightened lending. The banking sector requires strengthening and must be empowered to lend. I recommend that money from the Treasury Single Account (TSA) should go back to the banks at single digit rates and that banks’ recommended lending rate should not exceed 5 percent,” he said. In his analysis, he suggested that the CBN should focus on productive value of the economy and not the numerical value of the naira, adding that: “The recent devaluation of the naira by the introduction of a floating naira exchange rate has not yielded positive results as we see the naira spiraling downwards. In fact the new forex regime caused a drop in the GDP from $ 500billion to some $350billion by reducing per capita income to below $600.” While proffering solution to the biting situation, he said: “I feel that government’s monetary policy will be required to move from strict monetarism of the Milton Friedman School of thought to the Keynesian Model. Milton Friedman promoted an alternative macroeconomic viewpoint known as ‘monetarism’, and argued that a steady, small expansion of the money supply was the preferred policy. His ideas concerning monetary policy, taxation, privatization and deregulation influenced government policies, especially during the 1980s. “I believe strongly that Nigeria can recover from recession and I recommend as a start the need for a Presidential Proclamation at the National Assembly, switching from Austerity Policy to Growth Policy, this will instill hope and form the basis for the way forward. I am not sure if the Economic Emergency Powers requested by the President Muhammadu Buhari would work. I recall that President Shagari had them and failed; the Venezuelan model has also not worked. To boost the economy will require massive spending on infrastructure and public works which will also require manpower resources.” On the need for huge stimuli for business growth, he said there will be the need to create a debt factor market to soak up non-performing loans presently on the banks’ balance sheets now standing at about N20trillion. “Also, medium and small businesses must be encouraged and enabled to access funds to grow their businesses as these businesses represent the engine of economic growth,”# he stated.*

A family is
at the
dinner
table. The
son asks
the father,
“Dad, how
many
kinds of
boobs are
there?”
The
father,
surprised,
answers,
“Well, son,
a woman
goes
through
three
phases. In
her 20s, a
woman’s
breasts
are like
melons,
round and
firm. In her
30s and
40s, they
are like
pears, still
nice,
hanging a
bit. After
50, they
are like
onions.”
“Onions?”
the son
asks. “Yes.
You see
them and
they make
you cry.”
This
infuriated
his wife
and
daughter.
The
daughter
asks,
“Mom, how
many
different
kinds of
willies are
there?”
The
mother
smiles and
says, “Well,
dear, a
man goes
through
three
phases
also. In his
20s, his
willy is like
an oak
tree,
mighty
and hard.
In his 30s
and 40s,
it’s like a
birch,
flexible
but
reliable.
After his
50s, it’s
like a
Christmas
tree.” “A
Christmas
tree?” the
daughter
asks. “Yes,
dead from
the root
up and the
balls are
just for
decoration.”

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."...