cococandy:


You been under a rock?

Apparently! I need to keep up.

Lol women expire now??

I didn’t know humans could expire while they’re still living.

The more you know.

Sixfeetbelle:


Stop replying her. Some people need the 'okay' treatment once they start acting ghetto.

I don't know who offended her but she has been throwing tantrums all over this thread

OP, since people were kind enough to do her boyfriend’s job, telling her the relationship is over, she should cut her losses and go back to her house. The more she delays the inevitable the longer it will take for her to heal and find another man or stay single whichever option she chooses. You can’t make or force someone to want you.

Heiterkeit, you are hilarious.

You keep throwing jabs and making this about me, I don’t know what kind of response you’re trying to elicit from me.

If you can’t answer this question that’s in context with the OP..

So, what good man doesn’t end a current relationship before he starts a new one??

Without straying from the OP and inventing your own hypotheticals, what ifs, then stop wasting my time.

You’re like a terrible student that invents his own question when he doesn’t know the answer to the one he’s being asked.

Not today.

Heiterkeit:


I know bitter people when I come across them, you are one. A good man can turn bad towards a bad woman who has pretended for long to be good woman and revenge in any way he wants, which maybe the case here. People like you who always try to play smart are the ones who usually end up like the woman in this story. You like to eat your cake and have it, but are quick to cry victim when served.

Lol what?? O dear, I didn’t know I was having a back and forth with a knucklehead.

Okay, I see you don’t have an answer to..

So, what good man doesn’t end a current relationship before he starts a new one??

When you do, let me know.

Hilarious.

Good for them, now they get to enjoy same marital rights as heterosexual couples.

Heiterkeit:


You are the hilarious one here. Maybe the woman in this story is your type who likes to eat their cake and have it. If you take someone for a fool, it is their right to pay you back in anyway they want, which could possibly be the case here. The woman and man are the ones who know what truly happened between them, so there is no point taking sides in a case like this. Do not take people for f.ool, if you do not want them to treat you the same or worse.

I do not have time for nonsense, so engage your type.

What ifs, really?

You’re hilarious.

All what you just typed isn’t in the OP, stay on topic. What we do know is that the woman heard her relationship has ended from multiple third parties.

So, what good man doesn’t end a current relationship before he starts a new one??

Heiterkeit:

You are a hypocrite, that is it.

You’re hilarious.

Is it a good man that strings a woman along for sex and housekeeping?

What happened to doing the right thing by ending a relationship before you start a new one?

purplecoco:
Is it true extroverts are not?

Lol

litigator:
I am number 3. Which number are you?

number 9

pansophist:
This is a false equivalence. Deceiving a man to father a child who is not his is not the same as a woman giving motherly care to her step child The former is beyond despicable and should not be comparable to the latter. An equal comparison will be a baby daddy and baby father, because it is impossible for a man to deceive a woman that she is the mother of his child
Never happened.

There are men who marry single moms and became good fathers to her kid(s), it's about letting your partner know what they are getting into, not by deceit. So therefore, its left for a woman to determine if she will confer parental care to her step child, especially when the man is showing his fatherly responsibilities.

No where did the OP talk about paternity fraud nor a man marrying a single mother. This is a case of a known love child. OP, if paternity fraud is included please update your OP. I am sure most people wouldn’t approve of paternity fraud, that’s a whole different thing.

It isn’t always the case a husband isn’t aware of a love child.

Romangalactic:

For a wife who chose to remain married to me, doesn't that mean she has accepted to raise the child?
There is no realistic scenario where a husband will bring a lovechild into his house when madam wants none of it. Someone will die.

My earlier point regarding paying for childcare is when the wife decides to leave. I can very well pay for childcare from anyone. Even my own mother or sister or family member can do it free of charge but who is the man that will do this for a woman and still be the one financially responsible for her lovechild?

Well that’s a matter of choice, if you can’t raise another man’s child, that’s your choice. If a woman doesn’t mind raising another woman’s child that’s also her choice.

What I disagree with is “a man’s love child should be more accepting because he pays the bills.”

Romangalactic:

No one is arguing if women contribute financially in marriages or not. Like I said, I am very okay with raising a love child if the financial support on that child from the mother will be at least 90%.

Cold cash does not raise a child you say, but it is very important in raising a child whether you like it or not.
I can very well pay anyone working in childcare to raise my lovechild or even pay (child support) the biological mother of the child to do the raising but who will a wife pay to be financially responsible for her lovechild?

Lol so how does it work?? You bring in a nanny to only care for your love child while your wife attends to other children, while living under one roof??

Or if you mean paying the mother or a caregiver to take care of your child outside the home you share with your wife, then that’s different. lol then everybody raise their love children outside the home. Weirdos.

CAPSLOCKED:


WITH THREADS LIKE THIS, HE'S ABOUT TO MAKE THE COSTLY MISTAKE OF RAISING ANOTHER PERSON'S CHILD.
IT'S A DIFFERENT THING TO ADOPT AND RAISE A CHILD, OR MARRY A SINGLE MOM. BUT CONTINUING A MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP WITH A CHILD THAT HAS COME THROUGH INFIDELITY IS MADNESS.

Personally, I agree and it should be madness for both the man and the woman.

However, some don’t mind, and that’s also a valid choice for them.

The OP is more about explaining the double standard of people being generally more accepting of a man’s love child than a woman’s (when it’s known it’s a love child).

Romangalactic:

Yes you're right, but what is the reason behind it? Dont you think finance has a lot to do with it

Money, money, money.

Let’s get one thing straight first, regardless of what we read and post here on NL, log off, IRL Nigerian women DO contribute financially in their marriages.

Cold cash does NOT raise a child.

If you believe a man shouldn’t raise his wife’s love child then you shouldn’t be okay with a wife raising her husband’s. Your money excuse, is just an excuse for double standards.

No man or woman should be blackmailed into raising a love child if they’re not emotionally prepared to.

Sixfeetbelle:


She should not accept the man or listen to his reasons or any of that crap you wrote up there. He had his reasons for his actions back then and he should reap what he sowed.

There was a thread sometime ago about the wusdom of court marriages. Right there, 95% of the men were strongly against court wedding, citing issues that favored only them just because they didn't want to share their stupid properties with their wife as if marriage was an individual race. This man is among that statistics and should lay on the bed he made. .

Chances are he will make her life difficult in Texas. He should sit his ass in Nigeria.

cococandy:
Well you already know what to do.
Chances are he will get there and go crazy over light skin girls like he’s never seen a woman in his life before.
Treat people how they treat you.

He probably thought court marriage will give you a leg to stand on legally in case he wants to do you dirty. And he didn’t want to give you that. Turns out he did himself dirty.

LMFAO

Donald3d:

Did you make a mistake, yes.
Is it going to be hard to resolve if you chose to stay in the marriage, yes.
Is it doable, yes.

Without working on his mind, physically and spiritually. You can't fix this situation.

You missed one tiny little detail. He used a belt on her.

It’s sad that you’re going through this nightmare but you entered it with your eyes wide open. You were lucky he revealed his true nature before you married him, many were not so lucky.

These kind of men are dangerous to leave without a good stealth getaway plan. He has isolated you and made you compliant to stay at your detriment. Moving to a village with little to no career opportunities for you was a calculated choice. I bet he rarely gives you cash but would rather buy all what you need himself.

You need to find a means of making money, you need to reconnect with your support system and you need to get away from the physical and emotional abuse.

He seems like the “if I can’t have her, no one will” kind of guy.

Lmao, you people only know “gender equality” when it comes to money. Most Nigerian men always put their extended family above their wives, it’s funny to see the shoe on the other foot.

I feel your sermon buttresses the fact that feminism is a child's play. And gender equality shouldn't be found in our society. Now, I hope your peers will still keep mute if a man decides to buy a car for the mother that had him for 9months first , before considering the wife

Evacroft:
Men are fast to hit women because they are not physically as strong as them. But when it comes to dem dudes, they just laugh over it and say men don't hold grudge but meanwhile it cos thats another alpha male and you don't quite know if u can take him.

OP I have also seen where a little reset slap overtime turns to one blind eye/ partial deafness .violence whether from a male or female is absolutely wrong.

We don't have control over what people say or how they treat us, however we do have control over ourselves and how we react towards one another that is what men and women should train their body and mind to adapt to.

What she said.

To add, it’s not the “hitting of the woman” that is wrong, it’s the physical assault.

Doxadious:


Maybe you didn't read to the end... We are already dating... And I am not willing to leave her.

Then don’t leave her. If you guys are in love and have worked out the challenges of an interfaith marriage, e.g in what faith the children will be raised? Is someone going to convert? Or are you both going to stick to your religion? etc. then the next step is telling your family.

There are many successful interfaith marriages.

ibkayee:
Lots of different reasons, here are some common ones

- Guilted/shamed into doing suffer head under the guise of tradition, religion etc
- Conflicting emotions (e.g. stockholm syndrome) etc
- Financial dependency on their husbands/financial insecurity
- Threatened by their partner
- Would rather tolerate someone familiar/a toxic environment than start afresh, especially in a marriage obsessed society and a justice system that has a history of failing them

The bolded is very common but people rarely talk about it. The most dangerous time for an abused victim is when they leave. When the abuser knows he’s about to lose control, the violence escalates.

Sometimes it’s the threat to take the children away from her if she leaves.

Victims should also not be dismissed as being weak, poor, stupid or suffering from low self-esteem. The abuser doesn’t start out as being abusive, abuse is a process, he love bombs, isolates and primes his victim for the eventual abuse.

Kaien, abuse victims don’t leave until when they’re ready to, it takes time to undo all the emotional and psychological damage, the only thing you can do is let her know you will be there for her when she’s ready. If/when you move, you can leave your number with her, letting her know she will have support when she’s ready.

Yes, being cheated on is painful but If you’re that emotionally affected by a cheating spouse, just divorce him. No man is worth dying or going to jail for.

xrayj:

Strange like your profile pic

oh no you didn’t! That’s my favorite movie of 2019.

Liliantalks:
wow this is amazing ,, with how amazing music is ? Gosh new discoveries everyday . MUSIC IS LIKE MY HIGH

Lol I know! It’s not just music sef, I also hate listening to radio, podcasts, audiobooks etc. anything audio drives me crazy. I would rather watch and read.

Liliantalks:
Good day my fellow introvert. What’s ur solitude music , mine is “photograph” by Ed sheernan and “Famous” by French Montana

I don’t like listening to music.

michealdeco:
I don't

But I talk within me throughout the day even when speaking with someone

It's as if there's another person inside of me that I converse with

Xcelinteriors:

Please tell me the things to tell him because I don't know. I really plan to flog that stupid feeling away from him when we get home

SMH.

Then get ready to lose your son to his peers, TV and the internet.

You’re projecting your adult feelings on a child. ‘Like’ at that age is often innocent and it isn’t sexual.

If it’s sexual, will beating him stop him from liking the girl? Isn’t the best thing to do is start his series of sex education? What will beating him accomplish? You haven’t taught him anything, he will do what he will do and hide it from you.

Ask him what he means by “like”, if it’s sexual, it’s time for him to start his sex education.

No grown human being is entitled to anything except his/her human rights.

Being entitled means something is owed to you wether you deserve it or not. Some children don’t deserve sh!t.

MrBrownJay1:


we are still talking about why men and women dont have true equality...

This isn’t about FIFA.

Obviously, worldwide, men’s soccer is way more popular and profitable than women’s soccer.

This is USWNT vs USSF. This is a lawsuit about wages paid from the purse of the USSF.

USWNT and USMNT are contracted to play 20 games in a year, players on the roaster are paid yearly from a purse contributed by both.

Since 2015, USWNT has earned more for the purse. Unlike the rest of the world, Women’s soccer is more popular than men’s soccer in the US. Canada 2015 final is the most watched World Cup final in the US. More people also watched France 2019 than they did Russia 2018. The women’s team is way more popular in the US because they are the most successful women’s team in the world.

USMNT has publicly expressed their support of the lawsuit. Also, they haven’t ‘lost’ the new trial was supposed to be in June, another date to be announced.

Donald3d:


I would most definitely employ a female engineer, if she has the qualifications.

But I wouldn't hesitate to place her on compulsory leave once its discovered that she is pregnant, or I would move her to the office and keep her away from the field.

I never said female engineers should not be hired.

Have you seen a pregnant woman bending down to carry something before ? She has to bend "with her side"

Now imagine a pregnant woman lifting a bag of cement or a 30-50kg object.

They are some jobs where efficiency can't be gambled with.

Oh ok!! Absolutely! A pregnant woman should definitely be given a leave of absence to give birth to her child, we aren’t going to carry placards for that. Maternity leave is one right feminists fought for.