AN ABIA CORPER'S MEMOIR
EPISODE THIRTEEN: MY PLATOON'S POOR PERFORMANCE
Friday, 4th August, 2017

I don’t know why I've been finding it difficult to wake up early these days. I woke up, went back to bed and finally woke up for preparation by some minutes to five. During the morning parade, we were given a certificate format form where we are to affix our passport and sign. It contains our basic information and we are to correct any misspellings in the names because that is how our names will appear on our NYSC discharge certificate.

We went for our SAED classes and were taught piggery and artificial insemination in catfish in the agro-allied class which I belonged to. The lectures were cut short because of the Jumat service that is to take place in the mosque from 12 to 2pm. I later went for the OBS meeting where we discussed about leaving a legacy by doing something tangible for the OBS. After lunch, I put on my 7/7 for the man o' war drills but it didn’t hold because of the heavy downpour that even drenched the clothes I washed the day before. I also went to collect my local transportation (bicycle) allowance of #1000 when there was no queue.

The evening parade did not hold also and I began to feel like I was wasting time, I tried to sleep but couldn’t. So, I asked around for a book and got 'the big picture' by Ben Carson. In the evening, I went for the cultural dance and drama competition in the multipurpose hall and my platoon will be competing.

To cut the long story short, I was not impressed by my platoon's performance especially in the dance; there was no organization, coordination and adequate preparation, even though I appreciate the efforts of the participants. My platoon has always been nonchalant toward activities including the parade. So, I made up my mind to put in my best in the debate I will be participating in and went to my hostel to commence preparation that night.

On getting back to the hostel, a room crammed with 180 corps members, having only one door, no fan and one-person walkways as the only available space. Thank God for the cold weather, else we would wake up half cooked from the heat that would have resulted. The hostel was very noisy as usual and this continued till midnight when I slept with those singing in snores and farting while sleeping (we ate beans and potato that night) been the main topic of discussion.

#nysc #corper #abia_corper

AN ABIA CORPER'S MEMOIR
EPISODE TWELVE: THE ROUTINE
Thursday, 3rd August, 2017

I woke up by past 2am, got out and found no one outside, so I went back to sleep only to wake up by past 4am. How come I didn’t hear my alarm ring by 3am? I had planned to do my laundry this morning and here I was having less than one hour to wash my clothes, white shoe, take my bath and prepare for parade. I however, went ahead with my laundry plan (those drycleaners will not 'eat' my money) and still finished on time. I do dry my white floater shoe with one of my clothes I converted to a rag that’s why I could still wear it for the morning parade.

The morning routine (what I generally call morning parade) started as usual with praise and worship, Christian and Muslim prayers, the national anthem, Abia state anthem, morning meditation, morning news and camp director's address. Special announcements from the state coordinator or other officials follow at times. Man o' war drills and practicing of parade routines follow and we go for breakfast. Let me talk about today's morning meditation since it was taken by my platoon. I was happy with our presentation. Oghor gave it to Sarah, a fellow platoon member and she rewrote it, taking points from several write-ups, mine inclusive and the final product was better than what I wrote - the right thing was finally done.

Later in the day, my platoon had a meeting where we basically talked about contributing money that will be used for various inter-platoon competitions. The money will be used for buying of football and volleyball and maybe glucose for the sport participants, renting of dinner gowns, suits and shoes for Miss BBB, Mr. and Miss NYSC contestants and ingredients for the cooking competition.

During the even parade, the soldiers gave a demonstration of the complete parade routine we have been practicing for the closing ceremony and were greeted with a loud ovation as they paraded with ease and flawlessness. Our ever-strict, perfectionist platoon instructor (I really like him though) dealt with us as usual but it all ended well with him congratulating us and taking countless pictures with us.

#nysc #corper #abia_corper

AN ABIA CORPER'S MEMOIR
EPISODE ELEVEN: THE REFUSAL
Wednesday, 2nd August, 2017

I woke up around 03:30am intending to get ready for the day but felt so tired and cold. I went back to bed only to wake up some minutes to five. I was just dressing up when the bugle blew for the morning parade. After the camp director's address, platoons 1, 2 and 3 went to the multipurpose hall for their lectures (other platoons had theirs subsequently on different days). We were lectured on national orientation and national core values. We were also given a drug lecture by a representative of the NDLEA.

Just before the lectures began, my platoon leader, Oghormena (a fellow corps member) gave me the morning meditation to be taken by my platoon the next day prepared by someone else to copy into a more presentable sheet. I read it and discovered the writer drifted from the topic and told Oghor about it. I declined in writing it because I won't feel comfortable writing what I knew was wrong. I know you're thinking I declined because I wasn't the writer but that's certainly not the case. I am a result-oriented person and don't care who gets a required job done, whereas the writer's name will not be mentioned when it is read. I had even refused to write something every of my course mates wrote in their practical report book while in school (though everyone knew it was wrong) and had to submit mine like that because I wasn’t comfortable writing it. Oghor gave the write-up to someone else and that was how the issue of morning meditation ended.

We went for breakfast after which all platoons went to the hall for a general lecture on code of conduct of corps members. A representative of a PMP (Project Management Professional) and HSE (Health, Safety and Environment) training organization also addressed us concerning their training courses. Next, we headed for our various SAED classes and I joined the agro-allied class. We were taught aquaculture, taking catfish as a case study and also poultry farming with a focus on broilers. The class ended around 4pm when the bugle blew for the evening parade.

#nysc #corper #abia_corper

AN ABIA CORPER'S MEMOIR
EPISODE TEN: MY FIRST SHOW
Tuesday, 1st August, 2017

After breakfast, we went for SDG (Sustainable Development Goals), Nigerian Institute of Management (NIM), motivational-entrepreneurial lectures and ICPC lecture on corruption. The lectures lasted for about five hours and its coming to an end was a relief to everyone as many were already exhausted due to the short sleep and morning drills. I went to the OBS building for my show and Funky, Zuby and I (the CEO) ran the show.

The evening parade was interesting and very challenging with our ever-strict platoon instructor acting stricter as we learnt more advanced parade routines such as wheeling. I went to the OBS office after the parade for the evening show where Funky and I ran another show. The show didn’t last as it was supposed to because of the inter-platoon cultural dance and drama competition between platoon 7 and 8 that was soon to take place at the multi-purpose hall. By the time I went for dinner around 8pm, the food was already finished and those of us who had not eaten were told to come back by 9pm as they just started cooking another food.

I went to mammy to get some oranges as I have always done whenever I have stomach upset or indigestion and wanted to relax in my hostel for some time before attending the evening's dance and drama competition but the soldiers came to chase everyone out so they would attend the competition. This, I believe was in response to the low turn-out experienced last night.

I watched the performers and was impressed by two things, first - the presentation, and second, their improvised costumes made with just available materials in camp. I went back for food but lost interest in it as we were given rice as opposed to the beans and potato porridge served earlier.

#nysc #corper #abia_corper

AN ABIA CORPER'S MEMOIR
EPISODE NINE: THE HEAVY RAIN
Monday, 31st July, 2017

The bugle blew for the morning devotion at 5am and I was already prepared as usual. As the camp director addressed us, she announced that two corpers got drunk the night before, one defecated on himself and the other fell from the top bunk at night, was rushed to the hospital and that both will be punished for the irresponsibility. Other defaulters who were at the camp market when lectures were ongoing on Saturday were called out. The parade commenced proper with the man o' war drills while the sanitation police (volunteer sanitation corpers who wore blue vests over their white tops) kept the environment clean. The drills were more or less exercises that we did while singing funny, meaningless songs such as jankara market, anything I do monkey do, etc.

We went for lectures after breakfast where we received traditional lecture on Abia state, HIV/AIDS sensitization and male and female condom demonstrations, inspirational/motivational teachings, and SAED (Skill Acquisition and Entrepreneurship Development) lectures. SAED involves skill acquisition trainings that include fashion designing/ tailoring, tie and dye, food processing, cosmetology, photography, ICT/ phone and computer repairs, automobile repairs, agro-allied, etc.

After the lectures, I went to collect my #1500 transport allowance and did so with ease as there was no queue. I proceeded to fill the 'book of life', a register where all corps members had to fill their basic information during which it began to rain heavily. A football match between platoon 2 and 9 was ongoing in the heavy rain which removed more parts of the already dilapidated pavilion roof where we took shelter.

I waited till the rain subsided and went for dinner. I decided to eat in the multi-purpose hall and saw some OBS members. I asked one of them, Joanne whether there was a meeting and she told me about the night's dance and drama competition taking place between platoon 9 and 10 which she will be participating in. From this, other discussions followed and I discovered she was already a published writer. I asked her few other questions and decided to interview her in one of my shows at OBS.

I went to my hostel and prepared my final draft of my platoon's morning meditation (a short talk that teaches life lessons), wrote some interview questions and went to bed.

#nysc #corper #abia_corper

AN ABIA CORPER'S MEMOIR
EPISODE EIGHT: THE FIRST SUNDAY
Sunday, 30th July, 2017

Sunday came and I woke up almost four hours longer than normal because I wanted to relax, but had this incredibly serious headache. I went for the NCCF Sunday service anyway and it was powerful with amazing testimonies, heart-felt praise and worship, impactful drama ministration, inspirational choir ministration, prophetic Word ministration and fervent, earth-shaking prayer session. A lot of dignitaries were present including the NYSC state coordinator. A senior friend of the fellowship came up after the state coordinator addressed us to talk about important certified short courses that will be organized during the course of the service year.

At the close of service, I went to the kitchen for breakfast but it was already finished, so I went to mammy market to get something to eat. I ordered for a plate of Eba and Vegetable soup accompanied by fried fish that out-lasted both the Eba and the soup. There, I met Joy, a fellow platoon 3 and OBS member and we introduced ourselves to one another.

After a short siesta, I went for the OBS meeting where the social director addressed us. She was not happy with the previous day's event but corrected and advised us on what to do in subsequent events. The time for the evening parade came, after which the inter-platoon football and volleyball competitions kicked off. The rain descended heavily upon us and we ran to the pavilion, a tent-like building but the players continued playing in the rain.

After dinner, I went for the NCCF evening service where a film show was ongoing. The movie was both entertaining and enlightening and we rounded up with prayers. I went straightaway to mammy market where the video coverage people were showing a video of the previous Mr. and Miss NYSC competition. Beside the shop, corps members played snooker, then the bugle blew - it was light out.

#nysc #corper #abia_corper

AN ABIA CORPER'S MEMOIR
EPISODE SEVEN: THE FIRST PARTY
Saturday, 29th July, 2017

My alarm woke me up at exactly 3am. After a short prayer of appreciation to God for the new day and then writing about the previous day's experience, I set out to purchase water I would use to wash my clothes and white shoe. I went out for the morning parade which was unusually short as we went for lectures on security and CDS (Community Development Service). Unknown to me, the presenters were having a meeting at the OBS building and I missed it (I had almost missed last night's meeting where OBS tags were given to all members).

After the lectures, I found out about the meeting and went in search of the head Presenter, Funky to tell her I wasn’t aware of the meeting and she agreed to give me the opportunity to cover for what I missed. Afterwards, I rushed for the platoon 3 family meeting where a stand-in platoon officer (ours travelled earlier in the day) briefed us concerning what we are to know during the service year. She rounded up by telling us the various inter-platoon competitions that would take place in camp. They include football, volleyball (for females), Mr. and Miss NYSC, dance and drama, Miss BBB (Big, Bold and Beautiful), cooking and debate competition.
***
Today's evening parade was interesting as we learnt some advanced parade routines and for the first time, our platoon instructor, Malami smiled and even laughed because he was impressed with us.

I went for the welcome party when it was just commencing at 08:45pm. A representative of Indomie noodles, the event sponsor commenced the show by asking Indomie-related questions and gave prices to those that answered correctly. Next was dancing competition followed by corps members’ musical performance, comedy, eating competition and drama presentation. All these happened amidst loud noises and poor sound. The party ended by 10:08pm but the dj continued playing for about 15 minutes which seemed longer because of the fun in the air as many climbed the stage to dance energetically to the music blaring from the loud speakers.

#nysc #corper #abia_corper

AN ABIA CORPER'S MEMOIR
EPISODE SIX: THE SWEARING IN
Friday, 28th July, 2017

I woke up the next morning feeling surprisingly good because I was expecting to wake up with either a running stomach or 'running bowels' or both. On the contrary, I didn’t even go to the toilet throughout the day and my body showed signs of appreciation for giving it the chicken suya and I thought, "maybe the taste was not the suya vendor's fault but my taste buds the night before". After dressing up as a 'white fowl' (a term used to denote our uniform of white vest on white shorts, with white socks and shoes), I went to the OBS building so we could take the instruments to the parade ground and set them up before parade commenced as we had done the day before.

There was something special about today's arrangement since it is the day that 'dey will swear for us', i.e. swearing in ceremony, the ceremony that will transform us from PCMs to CMs (corps members). Canopies were set up on the stage and more chairs including settees were arranged, a rug was laid on the stage and the deejay was also present with his instruments.

After the morning parade, I went for my breakfast of something that looked like tea, bread and boiled egg and later changed into my seven over seven (the complete khaki attire with boots, cap, socks, white vest and belt) for the first time. Before today, I had never experienced a 0% battery but unfortunately for me, it happened on a day that was supposed to be a picture-taking day. I thought of what to do since not taking photographs today meant I will have to wait till the closing ceremony (which is in about 3 weeks’ time) before I could take photographs with my 7/7. Finally, I spoke with some friends (I use the word 'friend' loosely) and ended up taking more photographs than I would have taken if I were to use only my phone.

The swearing-in ceremony was finally over (after waiting for the representative of the governor for hours under the rain) and we were told to go collect our transportation allowance of #1500. When I went to get mine, the queue I saw there was unending, so I decided to queue for lunch instead. One of my roommate didn’t collect the food which looked like Okra soup and Eba, so I took his meal ticket because I didn’t want to waste the food (I know you don’t believe me) even though it was small. On getting there, I saw that many had not collected their meal and it was already finished, remaining just a few meats that couldn’t go round. The woman in charge of the kitchen apologized to the angry, hunger-driven corps members and shared the remaining meats.

After the evening parade, I went for the NCCF evening service. NCCF have been holding a daily evening programme that will run for the first twenty days in camp (since we won't spend the evening of the 21st day in camp) tagged 'Mighty Men'. It was a wonderful service with a timely message and I was richly blessed.

That night before we slept, the camp official in charge of our hostel came to address us and chose a hostel governor. Among the things he said was that no one should go out after light-out and this prevented me from washing my clothes as I planned earlier.

#nysc #corper #abia_corper

AN ABIA CORPER'S MEMOIR
EPISODE FIVE: THE TEMPTATION
Thursday, 27th July, 2017

I eventually woke up by 02:45am after waking up earlier to check the time. Even though I slept for less than five hours, I felt refreshed, maybe because of the cold weather. I got water, brushed my teeth and took my bath and was all set for the morning parade before 4am. By 5am, the bugle was blown and we all rushed out and lined up according to our platoons, then the good news came. The camp director addressing us through the PA system told us to go back in because of the cold. There was uproar of applause and shouts as we all rushed back in, more than we came out, primarily to resume the nice, cool sleep.

Later in the day, I went to the OBS building (OBS, the camp media house where you can serve as a presenter, editor, newscaster, photographer, dj, etc., means Orientation Broadcasting Service.) to be interviewed by OBS executives because I had indicated interest and filled the membership form earlier in the day. I was interviewed alongside other intending members and indicated interest in presenting, something I have been passionate about certainly because of the role of an mc I played several times while in school.

After the evening parade, I went to mammy market to buy fried fish that will enable me eat the almost tasteless rice served for dinner and also to collect my khaki I had given to a tailor earlier in the day to slim fit for me. I took the slim-fitted clothes to a laundry man to iron for me and took a walk round the market. The first thing that caught my attention was suya, chicken suya pleasing to the eye and I allowed myself to fall into the temptation as Eve did with the forbidden fruit. After tasting the suya I bought at a price greater than a plate of good meal, I discovered it was not as tasty as it looked and regretted my decision to spend my money unwisely. I took the remaining suya back to the hostel since I got tired of it but eventually ate it before going to bed to get my money's worth.

#nysc #corper #abia_corper

AN ABIA CORPER'S MEMOIR
EPISODE FOUR: THE ARRIVAL

The next morning, after the general morning devotion, we resumed the various discussions we started the night before with me been the 'questionnaire'. I later went to a nearby cafeteria and had a nice meal of Eba with an amalgamation of Egusi and Draw soup, went for a walk and took some selfies (my first in Abia state). Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp began to feel my presence in Abia state. I planned travelling to the orientation camp later that day but the heavy downpour impeded it, so I postponed my journey to the next morning and I was glad I did.

The D-day finally arrived and I left for the park before 7am. The bus I boarded was saturated with the smell of crayfish and other 'aromas' I couldn't decipher as I was crammed between women going to the market.

I got to Umuna Bende, the location of the orientation camp and was told alongside other PCMs by a man o' war personnel to carry our luggage on our heads as we entered the camp gate. After checking our call-up letter and luggage for 'contrabands', we commenced the preliminary registration after which we went to a 'bed chamber' to pick beds which we took to our hostels. Our documents were screened and we were given our state codes, a four digit number, the last digit been our platoon number, so there are ten platoons. For example, my number was 2913, so I was in platoon 3. I was surprised at the number of married women, pregnant women and nursing mothers I saw. We collected our kits which were given to us randomly (I wonder what our kit size was used for during the online registration), so we had to exchange the kits among ourselves to get our sizes.

I put on my kit, joined the parade and was surprised to notice that the headache I was feeling earlier had disappeared. Our platoon instructor (a soldier) was a very strict man who did not hesitate to give punishments, light ones though, such as frog jump and sitting on the floor. Later, we were taught the NYSC as well as the Abia state anthem. The bugle (a small trumpet-like instrument used in keeping time) was blown by 6pm and everyone had to stand at attention while the NYSC and Nigerian flag were dropped and parade was dismissed for the day.

I took a walk round camp and saw about four of my school mates who were still trying to do their registration and after chatting for a while, I went to the infamous mammy market (the camp market). Mammy market was the happening place where you get whatsoever you wanted at a price that was quite expensive. I took a walk round, from the various cafeterias, to the bar, video coverage shops where videos of the day's event were shown, etc. This walk was short-lived as a result of the heavy downpour that ensued.

#nysc #corper #abia_corper

AN ABIA CORPER'S MEMOIR
EPISODE THREE: THE CALL-UP

In the evening of the day I received my 'uncalled-up' letter, I told my elder brother to help me talk to someone so I can work as a volunteer, i.e. work without pay so I could utilize properly the one month I thought I had but it didn’t go through. So, I continued working on my personal project. As I stated earlier, I commenced the project while in school and planned to complete it within eight months but only scratched the surface. During this waiting period, I started all over and completed it within six weeks (despite my lagging behind) and I felt great about it.

After this, I became bored and wanted something else I could do. I began going for walks to see if I could find something tangible to do but nothing came up. So I stayed at home, thinking, making plans, reading, sleeping, watching movies, listening to new songs and programmes on the radio and TV. I must confess that doing these activities during this period was not really interesting but it was at least better than doing nothing.

During one of my walks (now I take walks just to feed my eyes and think) one cool evening, I began to think about how I had spent the last seven months of my life. I graduated in November, 2016 and it was almost the end of June, 2017 and I was still at home waiting to be called up for NYSC. I grieved about the time wasted and thought about all that could have been done, if I had the resources I needed anyway. You might say I utilized it somewhat wisely but I still felt more could have been done. Then, I came to the conclusion that I was going to recover all the lost time during my service year; I was going to make every second count.

The day stream 2 call-up letters were sent finally came, it was Friday, 21st July around 6pm. I did another vigil that night trying to check where I was posted to but the over-congested server didn’t go through. The next day, my elder brother who was also checking it for me called to tell me I had been posted to Abia state - the state I really wanted to go. My joy went through the roof and for the first time in a long time, I was happy with the government. Orientation camp was to begin the next Wednesday, 26th July but I made plans to travel on Monday.

Monday, 24th July finally came and I left home as early as 05:20am but began my journey after spending about 3 hours at the motor park. The eleven hour journey ended when I arrived at the NCCF (Nigeria Christian Corpers' Fellowship) family house, Umuahia. Fortunately for me, the NCCF car came to pick me at the park (I had contacted Tessy, my school mate who was in stream 1 and living in the family house) and made the final part of my journey stress-free. I was assigned to a room where I had the privilege of meeting friendly corpers who welcomed me with open arms, fed me and made the hectic day end well.

#nysc #corper #abia_corper

AN ABIA CORPER'S MEMOIR
EPISODE TWO: THE DELAY

I was living with my elder brother; he goes to work while I stayed at home. To keep myself busy, I read and also began a personal project I had postponed since my 300 level for yet other reasons beyond my control. I started again and kept to my schedule for the first few days but later got tired, maybe because I felt it was not going to work. I continued though, but lagged behind, at least, as they say, "at all at all naim bad pass". All the while, the thought of NYSC consumed my mind as I hoped to be posted to Abia state where I thought I could run some businesses with my Igbo brothers.

On the eve of the day of receiving my call-up letter, my dad called me to pick up the items he bought for my orientation camp. I was pleased after seeing that almost everything on my list was bought and was told to come pick the remaining in a few days. I got back home late and decided to stay awake till I received my call-up letter.

Gbagaun, it's twelve midnight and I logged in only to see the following message: you will be notified when to print your call-up letter because you are not in stream 1. My heart sank faster than the titanic. "Oh no", I thought, "not eleventh hour again" because to me stream 2 is like the eleventh hour. I quickly checked the WhatsApp group created by one of my school mates for my school PCMs (prospective corps members) and everyone was experiencing the same thing. I heaved a sigh of relief and thought, "this is going to be different, I won't be in stream 2" and could then sleep peacefully.

I woke up hours later, checked my phone and saw congratulatory messages on the WhatsApp group as fellow PCMs posted screen shots of their posting letters. I logged in the NYSC website and seeing the same message broke my heart more than a break-up from a twelve year old relationship would and like Job in the Bible I thought, "that which I fear most has happened to me". Questions kept coming into my head: how long will I remain at home? When is stream 2? What will I be doing at home? And I came to the conclusion that I was going to look for a job, I was going to make this waiting period worthwhile.

#nysc #corper #abia_corper

AN ABIA CORPER'S MEMOIR
EPISODE ONE: THE REGISTRATION

It was Tuesday, 2nd May, 2017 and I had still not concluded my NYSC online registration that commenced on the 20th of the previous month. I don’t really know why I always end up doing things at the eleventh hour even when I don’t want to. Am I the only one serving the 'eleventh hour miracle God'? I know you're thinking I'm unserious but it will interest you to know that I was up from the night before registration commenced to the early hours of registration day but circumstances beyond my control showed up.

Similar situations occurred while in school. I completed, printed and submitted my industrial training (IT) report on the deadline date, my final year project thesis was submitted on the defense day when presentation had already commenced, I completed my final clearance on the day when the list of those to be sent for NYSC batch A was been compiled (thanks to my project supervisor who gave my partner and I extra work beyond the project scope even after defense), even the university official that went to submit the list in Abuja arrived on the deadline date (though I have no hand in this) and the list goes on.

As I was saying, I commenced registration on the day the portal was opened but couldn’t proceed without biometric (finger print) capture. I spent a lot of time trying to do this with a fingerprint scanner brought by my elder brother's colleague but to no avail as the site only recognizes Digita Persona fingerprint scanner. I searched Apapa, where I was living for a place to continue the registration but it turned out to be too expensive. I know what you're thinking, "stingy guy" but come on, the price charged by the computer operator was twice the amount elsewhere (in Ajegunle) where the only additional cost is just a token to cross over a foot bridge.

I went to Ajegunle to continue my registration but the payment portal was not working. I returned two more times on different days and eventually collected the #3000 processing fee from the computer operator with the intention of trying it myself at home. I finally made the payment manually at the bank and completed my registration successfully.

#nysc #corper #abia_corper

dapyd1:


I didn't choose audit.

I have gotten my offer letter.

Congratulations!
How long did it take to schedule you for an interview after submitting your documents?
And please, tell me about the interview. Thanks.