Man,.
This gambling addiction of a thing ehn.
Just like someone said above, contentment, be contented with whatever you have, from your story, it seems like you're a guy making decent money to yourself,
I know all these things no go really click with you cos addiction is devilish, the way it controls your thinking and your life, only those that can relate can really understand.

What I think might help is finding a new purpose,

This is so unfortunate.
Please parents, guide and protect your daughters and pray for God's Guidance and protection too. Parents should also teach their sons, instill the right value in them.


It's not safe out there