Are there really good men in this world? Sure there are...men that are true, just, honest. Men who stick closer than even a brother and are just absolutely on point...lol.

Abisha was one of this in so many ways. Abisha was tall, fair and handsome. He was also emotionally healthy and was way balanced on the inside and outside that I just couldn't resist him...well I have tried way over seven (7) months to resist him. I had friend zoned him and place him on a 9 on the dreaded friend-zone scale of 0 to 10. I just wasn't ready for relationships as I had wanted the first man I ever dated to be the one I ended up with. So Him talking love/ dating was something I wasn't ready to get myself entangled in. Besides, he was way way older than me and that was supposed to be my perfect excuse...lol.

Anyways, the attraction between Abisha and I isn't really the main subject of this post but the man Abisha was in the healthy part of our relationship. Abisha was a man greatly invested in building up his little girl. He was a man that taught
me so many principles on being a better me. He taught me to play, to talk and be in charge of myself and emotions (the list actually goes on).

I remember this guy was there to check about 90% of every assignments I ever submitted in school, make necessary corrections and email it back to me before I submitted.

Abisha also taught me how to control my emotions and maturely handle differences. I remember practical cases where Abisha taught me the act of "talking" out dislikes, offenses and not dramatizing or nagging the normal way most ladies do. It was literally a more stress-free, fun, unique and amazing way of handling differences to which I am grateful to God I learnt early enough.


From Abisha I learnt how to care deeply for someone I love and also learnt the act of trust. ( yea...I was in a relationship but had 0.00% level of trust). Abisha also taught me "the act of compromise" and the "lets meet at the middle strategy" that makes all relationship work.

True...I was tough, inflexible and practically suck with some of my own childish ways of doing things(let me spare you some of those funny details) but then I was also stuck with someone who did not give up on improving me in the best way he could and while he could.

But then, what could have spoilt this true love story anyone would ever dream of having?
Was it my fault or his fault?

http://diaryofalovergirl..com.ng

Are there really good men in this world? Sure there are...men that are true, just, honest. Men who stick closer than even a brother and are just absolutely on point...lol.

Abisha was one of this in so many ways. Abisha was tall, fair and handsome. He was also emotionally healthy and was way balanced on the inside and outside that I just couldn't resist him...well I have tried way over seven (7) months to resist him. I had friend zoned him and place him on a 9 on the dreaded friend-zone scale of 0 to 10. I just wasn't ready for relationships as I had wanted the first man I ever dated to be the one I ended up with. So Him talking love/ dating was something I wasn't ready to get myself entangled in. Besides, he was way way older than me and that was supposed to be my perfect excuse...lol.

Anyways, the attraction between Abisha and I isn't really the main subject of this post but the man Abisha was in the healthy part of our relationship. Abisha was a man greatly invested in building up his little girl. He was a man that taught
me so many principles on being a better me. He taught me to play, to talk and be in charge of myself and emotions (the list actually goes on).

I remember this guy was there to check about 90% of every assignments I ever submitted in school, make necessary corrections and email it back to me before I submitted.

Abisha also taught me how to control my emotions and maturely handle differences. I remember practical cases where Abisha taught me the act of "talking" out dislikes, offenses and not dramatizing or nagging the normal way most ladies do. It was literally a more stress-free, fun, unique and amazing way of handling differences to which I am grateful to God I learnt early enough.


From Abisha I learnt how to care deeply for someone I love and also learnt the act of trust. ( yea...I was in a relationship but had 0.00% level of trust). Abisha also taught me "the act of compromise" and the "lets meet at the middle strategy" that makes all relationship work.

True...I was tough, inflexible and practically suck with some of my own childish ways of doing things(let me spare you some of those funny details) but then I was also stuck with someone who did not give up on improving me in the best way he could and while he could.

But then, what could have spoilt this true love story anyone would ever dream of having?
Was it my fault or his fault?

http://diaryofalovergirl..com.ng

Are there really good men in this world? Sure there are...men that are true, just, honest. Men who stick closer than even a brother and are just absolutely on point...lol.

Abisha was one of this in so many ways. Abisha was tall, fair and handsome. He was also emotionally healthy and was way balanced on the inside and outside that I just couldn't resist him...well I have tried way over seven (7) months to resist him. I had friend zoned him and place him on a 9 on the dreaded friend-zone scale of 0 to 10. I just wasn't ready for relationships as I had wanted the first man I ever dated to be the one I ended up with. So Him talking love/ dating was something I wasn't ready to get myself entangled in. Besides, he was way way older than me and that was supposed to be my perfect excuse...lol.

Anyways, the attraction between Abisha and I isn't really the main subject of this post but the man Abisha was in the healthy part of our relationship. Abisha was a man greatly invested in building up his little girl. He was a man that taught
me so many principles on being a better me. He taught me to play, to talk and be in charge of myself and emotions (the list actually goes on).

I remember this guy was there to check about 90% of every assignments I ever submitted in school, make necessary corrections and email it back to me before I submitted.

Abisha also taught me how to control my emotions and maturely handle differences. I remember practical cases where Abisha taught me the act of "talking" out dislikes, offenses and not dramatizing or nagging the normal way most ladies do. It was literally a more stress-free, fun, unique and amazing way of handling differences to which I am grateful to God I learnt early enough.


From Abisha I learnt how to care deeply for someone I love and also learnt the act of trust. ( yea...I was in a relationship but had 0.00% level of trust). Abisha also taught me "the act of compromise" and the "lets meet at the middle strategy" that makes all relationship work.

True...I was tough, inflexible and practically suck with some of my own childish ways of doing things(let me spare you some of those funny details) but then I was also stuck with someone who did not give up on improving me in the best way he could and while he could.

But then, what could have spoilt this true love story anyone would ever dream of having?
Was it my fault or his fault?

http://diaryofalovergirl..com.ng

My first love

Are there really good men in this world? Sure there are...men that are true, just, honest. Men who stick closer than even a brother and are just absolutely on point...lol.

Abisha was one of this in so many ways. Abisha was tall, fair and handsome. He was also emotionally healthy and was way balanced on the inside and outside that I just couldn't resist him...well I have tried way over seven (7) months to resist him. I had friend zoned him and place him on a 9 on the dreaded friend-zone scale of 0 to 10. I just wasn't ready for relationships as I had wanted the first man I ever dated to be the one I ended up with. So Him talking love/ dating was something I wasn't ready to get myself entangled in. Besides, he was way way older than me and that was supposed to be my perfect excuse...lol.

Anyways, the attraction between Abisha and I isn't really the main subject of this post but the man Abisha was in the healthy part of our relationship. Abisha was a man greatly invested in building up his little girl. He was a man that taught
me so many principles on being a better me. He taught me to play, to talk and be in charge of myself and emotions (the list actually goes on).

I remember this guy was there to check about 90% of every assignments I ever submitted in school, make necessary corrections and email it back to me before I submitted.

Abisha also taught me how to control my emotions and maturely handle differences. I remember practical cases where Abisha taught me the act of "talking" out dislikes, offenses and not dramatizing or nagging the normal way most ladies do. It was literally a more stress-free, fun, unique and amazing way of handling differences to which I am grateful to God I learnt early enough.


From Abisha I learnt how to care deeply for someone I love and also learnt the act of trust. ( yea...I was in a relationship but had 0.00% level of trust). Abisha also taught me "the act of compromise" and the "lets meet at the middle strategy" that makes all relationship work.

True...I was tough, inflexible and practically suck with some of my own childish ways of doing things(let me spare you some of those funny details) but then I was also stuck with someone who did not give up on improving me in the best way he could and while he could.

But then, what could have spoilt this true love story anyone would ever dream of having?
Was it my fault or his fault?

http://diaryofalovergirl..com.ng

My first love

Are there really good men in this world? Sure there are...men that are true, just, honest. Men who stick closer than even a brother and are just absolutely on point...lol.

Abisha was one of this in so many ways. Abisha was tall, fair and handsome. He was also emotionally healthy and was way balanced on the inside and outside that I just couldn't resist him...well I have tried way over seven (7) months to resist him. I had friend zoned him and place him on a 9 on the dreaded friend-zone scale of 0 to 10. I just wasn't ready for relationships as I had wanted the first man I ever dated to be the one I ended up with. So Him talking love/ dating was something I wasn't ready to get myself entangled in. Besides, he was way way older than me and that was supposed to be my perfect excuse...lol.

Anyways, the attraction between Abisha and I isn't really the main subject of this post but the man Abisha was in the healthy part of our relationship. Abisha was a man greatly invested in building up his little girl. He was a man that taught
me so many principles on being a better me. He taught me to play, to talk and be in charge of myself and emotions (the list actually goes on).

I remember this guy was there to check about 90% of every assignments I ever submitted in school, make necessary corrections and email it back to me before I submitted.

Abisha also taught me how to control my emotions and maturely handle differences. I remember practical cases where Abisha taught me the act of "talking" out dislikes, offenses and not dramatizing or nagging the normal way most ladies do. It was literally a more stress-free, fun, unique and amazing way of handling differences to which I am grateful to God I learnt early enough.


From Abisha I learnt how to care deeply for someone I love and also learnt the act of trust. ( yea...I was in a relationship but had 0.00% level of trust). Abisha also taught me "the act of compromise" and the "lets meet at the middle strategy" that makes all relationship work.

True...I was tough, inflexible and practically suck with some of my own childish ways of doing things(let me spare you some of those funny details) but then I was also stuck with someone who did not give up on improving me in the best way he could and while he could.

But then, what could have spoilt this true love story anyone would ever dream of having?
Was it my fault or his fault?

http://diaryofalovergirl..com.ng

My first love

Are there really good men in this world? Sure there are...men that are true, just, honest. Men who stick closer than even a brother and are just absolutely on point...lol.

Abisha was one of this in so many ways. Abisha was tall, fair and handsome. He was also emotionally healthy and was way balanced on the inside and outside that I just couldn't resist him...well I have tried way over seven (7) months to resist him. I had friend zoned him and place him on a 9 on the dreaded friend-zone scale of 0 to 10. I just wasn't ready for relationships as I had wanted the first man I ever dated to be the one I ended up with. So Him talking love/ dating was something I wasn't ready to get myself entangled in. Besides, he was way way older than me and that was supposed to be my perfect excuse...lol.

Anyways, the attraction between Abisha and I isn't really the main subject of this post but the man Abisha was in the healthy part of our relationship. Abisha was a man greatly invested in building up his little girl. He was a man that taught
me so many principles on being a better me. He taught me to play, to talk and be in charge of myself and emotions (the list actually goes on).

I remember this guy was there to check about 90% of every assignments I ever submitted in school, make necessary corrections and email it back to me before I submitted.

Abisha also taught me how to control my emotions and maturely handle differences. I remember practical cases where Abisha taught me the act of "talking" out dislikes, offenses and not dramatizing or nagging the normal way most ladies do. It was literally a more stress-free, fun, unique and amazing way of handling differences to which I am grateful to God I learnt early enough.


From Abisha I learnt how to care deeply for someone I love and also learnt the act of trust. ( yea...I was in a relationship but had 0.00% level of trust). Abisha also taught me "the act of compromise" and the "lets meet at the middle strategy" that makes all relationship work.

True...I was tough, inflexible and practically suck with some of my own childish ways of doing things(let me spare you some of those funny details) but then I was also stuck with someone who did not give up on improving me in the best way he could and while he could.

But then, what could have spoilt this true love story anyone would ever dream of having?
Was it my fault or his fault?

http://diaryofalovergirl..com.ng

My first love

Are there really good men in this world? Sure there are...men that are true, just, honest. Men who stick closer than even a brother and are just absolutely on point...lol.

Abisha was one of this in so many ways. Abisha was tall, fair and handsome. He was also emotionally healthy and was way balanced on the inside and outside that I just couldn't resist him...well I have tried way over seven (7) months to resist him. I had friend zoned him and place him on a 9 on the dreaded friend-zone scale of 0 to 10. I just wasn't ready for relationships as I had wanted the first man I ever dated to be the one I ended up with. So Him talking love/ dating was something I wasn't ready to get myself entangled in. Besides, he was way way older than me and that was supposed to be my perfect excuse...lol.

Anyways, the attraction between Abisha and I isn't really the main subject of this post but the man Abisha was in the healthy part of our relationship. Abisha was a man greatly invested in building up his little girl. He was a man that taught
me so many principles on being a better me. He taught me to play, to talk and be in charge of myself and emotions (the list actually goes on).

I remember this guy was there to check about 90% of every assignments I ever submitted in school, make necessary corrections and email it back to me before I submitted.

Abisha also taught me how to control my emotions and maturely handle differences. I remember practical cases where Abisha taught me the act of "talking" out dislikes, offenses and not dramatizing or nagging the normal way most ladies do. It was literally a more stress-free, fun, unique and amazing way of handling differences to which I am grateful to God I learnt early enough.


From Abisha I learnt how to care deeply for someone I love and also learnt the act of trust. ( yea...I was in a relationship but had 0.00% level of trust). Abisha also taught me "the act of compromise" and the "lets meet at the middle strategy" that makes all relationship work.

True...I was tough, inflexible and practically suck with some of my own childish ways of doing things(let me spare you some of those funny details) but then I was also stuck with someone who did not give up on improving me in the best way he could and while he could.

But then, what could have spoilt this true love story anyone would ever dream of having?
Was it my fault or his fault?

http://diaryofalovergirl..com.ng

Are there really good men in this world? Sure there are...men that are true, just, honest. Men who stick closer than even a brother and are just absolutely on point...lol.

Abisha was one of this in so many ways. Abisha was tall, fair and handsome. He was also emotionally healthy and was way balanced on the inside and outside that I just couldn't resist him...well I have tried way over seven (7) months to resist him. I had friend zoned him and place him on a 9 on the dreaded friend-zone scale of 0 to 10. I just wasn't ready for relationships as I had wanted the first man I ever dated to be the one I ended up with. So Him talking love/ dating was something I wasn't ready to get myself entangled in. Besides, he was way way older than me and that was supposed to be my perfect excuse...lol.

Anyways, the attraction between Abisha and I isn't really the main subject of this post but the man Abisha was in the healthy part of our relationship. Abisha was a man greatly invested in building up his little girl. He was a man that taught
me so many principles on being a better me. He taught me to play, to talk and be in charge of myself and emotions (the list actually goes on).

I remember this guy was there to check about 90% of every assignments I ever submitted in school, make necessary corrections and email it back to me before I submitted.

Abisha also taught me how to control my emotions and maturely handle differences. I remember practical cases where Abisha taught me the act of "talking" out dislikes, offenses and not dramatizing or nagging the normal way most ladies do. It was literally a more stress-free, fun, unique and amazing way of handling differences to which I am grateful to God I learnt early enough.


From Abisha I learnt how to care deeply for someone I love and also learnt the act of trust. ( yea...I was in a relationship but had 0.00% level of trust). Abisha also taught me "the act of compromise" and the "lets meet at the middle strategy" that makes all relationship work.

True...I was tough, inflexible and practically suck with some of my own childish ways of doing things(let me spare you some of those funny details) but then I was also stuck with someone who did not give up on improving me in the best way he could and while he could.

But then, what could have spoilt this true love story anyone would ever dream of having?
Was it my fault or his fault?

http://diaryofalovergirl..com.ng

Are there really good men in this world? Sure there are...men that are true, just, honest. Men who stick closer than even a brother and are just absolutely on point...lol.

Abisha was one of this in so many ways. Abisha was tall, fair and handsome. He was also emotionally healthy and was way balanced on the inside and outside that I just couldn't resist him...well I have tried way over seven (7) months to resist him. I had friend zoned him and place him on a 9 on the dreaded friend-zone scale of 0 to 10. I just wasn't ready for relationships as I had wanted the first man I ever dated to be the one I ended up with. So Him talking love/ dating was something I wasn't ready to get myself entangled in. Besides, he was way way older than me and that was supposed to be my perfect excuse...lol.

Anyways, the attraction between Abisha and I isn't really the main subject of this post but the man Abisha was in the healthy part of our relationship. Abisha was a man greatly invested in building up his little girl. He was a man that taught
me so many principles on being a better me. He taught me to play, to talk and be in charge of myself and emotions (the list actually goes on).

I remember this guy was there to check about 90% of every assignments I ever submitted in school, make necessary corrections and email it back to me before I submitted.

Abisha also taught me how to control my emotions and maturely handle differences. I remember practical cases where Abisha taught me the act of "talking" out dislikes, offenses and not dramatizing or nagging the normal way most ladies do. It was literally a more stress-free, fun, unique and amazing way of handling differences to which I am grateful to God I learnt early enough.


From Abisha I learnt how to care deeply for someone I love and also learnt the act of trust. ( yea...I was in a relationship but had 0.00% level of trust). Abisha also taught me "the act of compromise" and the "lets meet at the middle strategy" that makes all relationship work.

True...I was tough, inflexible and practically suck with some of my own childish ways of doing things(let me spare you some of those funny details) but then I was also stuck with someone who did not give up on improving me in the best way he could and while he could.

But then, what could have spoilt this true love story anyone would ever dream of having?
Was it my fault or his fault?

http://diaryofalovergirl..com.ng

You can meet true love in any way please
There is no set pattern
Via advert or in reality or through match making
What ever works for you
Just be careful in meeting strangers though because of the nature of our nation

Spoke all about external qualities. Nothing internal. Hmmmm. Shows how myopic out Christian brothers are.

HannahHitler:
bdsm is a life style and doesn't end at just sex. yes I know Nigerian man who like to be dominated by their wives.

wow!!! are you serious?
Me I don't want that one abeg o...lol

Love is a beautiful thing (no doubt about it). A mystery we can't really explain. I mean how do you logically explain why your heart beats for A and why it naturally shuts down to B ?

Well, I may not be able to give an answer to that but what I particularly want to dwell upon in this post is the place of tolerance in love (handling differences/ misunderstandings in any form of relationship).

Make no mistake...I am not perfect...as a matter of fact...I shall be learning from this post.

I am often amazed when Mr and Mrs A sit before a marriage counselor all angry at each other and desire to part ways. What is most funny about it is that when Mr A is asked if he still loves Mrs A, he says a big yes and Mrs A is asked if she still loves Mr A, she gives a resounding yes too. And then, one can only wonder what the exact problem may be.

Well different homes face different issues and It would be really hard to get particular on a specific issue so lets just discuss from a general point of view. I promise to be very practical about this.
Why would your partner or friend offend you (maybe you guys fought about something) and the next reaction you have as an individual is to cut off communication with him or her, Plan ways to hurt him or her back, withdraw from him/her and so many other reactions to express your displeasure.
I know this can sometimes be a normal reaction especially when we did not see the hurt coming from that special person (you are really angry, probably mad...and of course you have every right to be). But then that displeasure or anger should be channeled to the offense the individual committed and not to the individual himself or herself.


Take for instance your husband failed to do something you desperately needed him to do...feel free to express your displeasure on the issue. Tell him in words..."I am really angry you did not work on the task I told you about even after I told you how much it mattered to me". That is ok. Fight about it (if that would even make you happy...lol) but then the problem arises when you extend your anger by refusing to cook for him, refusing to respond to him or even giving him attitude (and so many other behaviors). this is extending your displeasure over an issue to a displeasure over your partner which only further creates tension.

In my own point of view, we should just hate the offense but treat our partner right in other areas. Better put, we should try to deal with the issue as a different entity from the person in question.

The same also goes for your wife. So yes she refused you of a certain conjugal right for one reason or the other (how could she do that...who does she think she is...lol). Sure, be mad at her action at that point in time...but lets strive to let it end there. We should not allow our anger go beyond the offense to reacting to the individual involved (remember you still love the individual but hate the offense). You do not have to punish her by also denying her of such conjugal duties or start chasing other ladies. You shouldn't make matters worse (trust me, it's never worth it).

So it is also with friends. Your friend may have wronged you..by all means express your displeasure with respect and let it end there (it is the wrong that the person did you are angry with and not the person). I am usually surprised when friends keep malice for months, years etc simply because they had a fight. We should not extend our anger over the actions of a friend to the friend himself or herself. By all means get angry if you feel like but then forgive, forget and deal with the issue as a different entity from the person (trust me you would have more peace).

Is it going to be easy? Hell No.

A year ago, a friend had lied to me over an issue that was very sensitive and important...I was literally broken (as a matter of fact I had every reason to stop communicating with this individual ? In it all I didn't...I chose to deal with the issue as a different entity from that person).

Yes I was angry at the person's action but not at the person (I was not going to let my anger and ego cost me a a great friendship...I chose to look at every other thing that person had done right and not hold on to the only one grievous wrong. I spoke and smiled with this individual even when I didn't initially feel like it.

Was it worth it? A big yes. The experience made a better and more matured me. It thought me this big secret to successful human relationships...I would have lost out 100% on an amazing friend and created a huge turmoil when there didn't have to be one.

Let's love our partners but hate their offenses. To err they say is human...but to forgive is divine.

Whats your own view point?

http://diaryofalovergirl..com.ng/?m=1

HannahHitler:
Google bdsm and dominatrix. there In lies your answer.

Nigerian men o
Not oyinbo
And not sex related

Love is a beautiful thing (no doubt about it). A mystery we can't really explain. I mean how do you logically explain why your heart beats for A and why it naturally shuts down to B ?

Well, I may not be able to give an answer to that but what I particularly want to dwell upon in this post is the place of tolerance in love (handling differences/ misunderstandings in any form of relationship).

Make no mistake...I am not perfect...as a matter of fact...I shall be learning from this post.

I am often amazed when Mr and Mrs A sit before a marriage counselor all angry at each other and desire to part ways. What is most funny about it is that when Mr A is asked if he still loves Mrs A, he says a big yes and Mrs A is asked if she still loves Mr A, she gives a resounding yes too. And then, one can only wonder what the exact problem may be.

Well different homes face different issues and It would be really hard to get particular on a specific issue so lets just discuss from a general point of view. I promise to be very practical about this.
Why would your partner or friend offend you (maybe you guys fought about something) and the next reaction you have as an individual is to cut off communication with him or her, Plan ways to hurt him or her back, withdraw from him/her and so many other reactions to express your displeasure.
I know this can sometimes be a normal reaction especially when we did not see the hurt coming from that special person (you are really angry, probably mad...and of course you have every right to be). But then that displeasure or anger should be channeled to the offense the individual committed and not to the individual himself or herself.


Take for instance your husband failed to do something you desperately needed him to do...feel free to express your displeasure on the issue. Tell him in words..."I am really angry you did not work on the task I told you about even after I told you how much it mattered to me". That is ok. Fight about it (if that would even make you happy...lol) but then the problem arises when you extend your anger by refusing to cook for him, refusing to respond to him or even giving him attitude (and so many other behaviors). this is extending your displeasure over an issue to a displeasure over your partner which only further creates tension.

In my own point of view, we should just hate the offense but treat our partner right in other areas. Better put, we should try to deal with the issue as a different entity from the person in question.

The same also goes for your wife. So yes she refused you of a certain conjugal right for one reason or the other (how could she do that...who does she think she is...lol). Sure, be mad at her action at that point in time...but lets strive to let it end there. We should not allow our anger go beyond the offense to reacting to the individual involved (remember you still love the individual but hate the offense). You do not have to punish her by also denying her of such conjugal duties or start chasing other ladies. You shouldn't make matters worse (trust me, it's never worth it).

So it is also with friends. Your friend may have wronged you..by all means express your displeasure with respect and let it end there (it is the wrong that the person did you are angry with and not the person). I am usually surprised when friends keep malice for months, years etc simply because they had a fight. We should not extend our anger over the actions of a friend to the friend himself or herself. By all means get angry if you feel like but then forgive, forget and deal with the issue as a different entity from the person (trust me you would have more peace).

Is it going to be easy? Hell No.

A year ago, a friend had lied to me over an issue that was very sensitive and important...I was literally broken (as a matter of fact I had every reason to stop communicating with this individual ? In it all I didn't...I chose to deal with the issue as a different entity from that person).

Yes I was angry at the person's action but not at the person (I was not going to let my anger and ego cost me a a great friendship...I chose to look at every other thing that person had done right and not hold on to the only one grievous wrong. I spoke and smiled with this individual even when I didn't initially feel like it.

Was it worth it? A big yes. The experience made a better and more matured me. It thought me this big secret to successful human relationships...I would have lost out 100% on an amazing friend and created a huge turmoil when there didn't have to be one.

Let's love our partners but hate their offenses. To err they say is human...but to forgive is divine.

Whats your own view point?

http://diaryofalovergirl..com.ng/?m=1

Lol....they would say they are polygamous in nature now

Rorachy:
Husband be faithful to your wife only is tougher.

Is there any man who doesn't like a submissive wife ?

HannahHitler:
people can use Bible the way they like ehn. husband's hammering on this verse forgetting thou should not commit adultery and all the other commandments.

see marriage is different for everyone. some like a submissive wife others do not.
some men cook while wife does other stuffs.

whatever works for them is okay.

all these set standard sef

ikp120:
Hmmm. That's really cool. I hope you get a guy who deserves you.

Amen....thanks so much
God bless
That was a really cool comment

ikp120:
With feminism everywhere, forget about submission from any woman.

Go get yourself a sex robot

I have been deliberately trying to live a life of submission. God help me

You are so on point.
It's a two way thing
Let everyone play his part

Janeyinspires:
Loving your wife is not tough.Submitting to your husband is not tough.

It's hard to find a woman who will not submit to a husband that loves her.It's also hard to find a man who will not love a wife who submits to him.

Every spouse should play their own part to ensure a happy and peaceful home.

Thanks so much for the contribution
It was a blog made for everyone to give his or her own ideas..
Those where my own ideas

PaperLace:
i)I don't believe any is tougher, it only seems tough because of the egocentric thinking of parties involved. Can two work together except they be agreed?.

ii)Be positive: some people enter marriages with a wrong mindset, thereby exaggerating or misinterpreting every action.

iii)When you don't love your spouse, effortless actions would seem difficult. Everything will be like a competition to you, because the foundation is bad or has been weakened.

iv)Nigeria is a very religious country, but na we do pass. You can't fornicate, lie, steal, bribe and cheat , see nothing wrong with it. You get married and submission/love would be your favourite bible passages. All based on same Holy Bible you disregarded all year.

v)I don't think it's all about church teachings. Every sane human being knows what's right from wrong. If the church preaches and humans refuse to apply a little bit or fairness in their dealings with people, we would make no progress. Treat your spouse the way you would want to be treated, that's a whole lot concise to me.

"Wife submit to your husband or "husband love your wife"...which really is tougher?? OK...I know deep down you must have responded with the "wives submit to your husband phrase". Fair enough, it is actually not easy to lay down your desires, wants and needs as the case may be as a woman. I mean we are all humans and we all enjoy doing what makes us happy (who doesn't). Infact, when I was younger, I used to always say that Male and female were formed the same way so there was no way I was going to accept one gender boss over the other....lol ( yes I was seriously angry with all the men in the world).

Well needless to say...the issue of "woman submission" is well flogged by most church pastors. I mean they lay so much emphasis on this already. Yes, we hear the theory of wives having to submit everywhere. In some serious cases, some women are not even allowed to lead prayers even in the family altar or come up with useful suggestions for the growth and development of the family ( I mean who are you to that when the Bible had told you to submit...in their own interpretation) Eph 5:22-23.

Please try not to get me wrong...I am 100% in support of wives submitting to their husbands. It is scriptural, biblical and besides two people cannot drive a car at the same time. As a matter of fact, I personally cannot stand a man who can not actively be at the forefront in handling family affairs because as a woman, I was not created to be the leader (at least the stress was lifted off the shoulders of women way back from creation...lol).

So with that clarified, my only amazement or should I say concern lies in the fact that very little or no emphasis is placed on the role of the man "Husbands love your wife" (seriously, even most church pastors never really educate future husbands on what this entails).

In my own point of view, I believe "Husbands love your wife" is the tougher of the two. How you may ask...well I would try to explain it as best as I can. So What exactly is this love duty bestowed on a husband from scriptures?? Please cut off some crappy definitions of love we usually give.


1 cor 13:4-8 gives the true definition of the love a man was charged to give his wife. infact it expatiates that short phrase some preachers never really address. I also got to find out that "loving your wife" is much more work than "submitting to your husband" (as usual God always leaves the harder work for the stronger vessel).

So here is what loving your wife entails (1 cor 13:4-cool. Love is patient (this means that when your wife starts her impatient complaint...yea sometimes female creatures can be very annoying like that) you are to remain calm and in control (no hitting, no insults etc). This shows that way back from the days of scriptures, a woman has been known to exhibit traits that would require patience (serious one) and that was why God gave the man the responsibility to love (remain patient).

Love is also kind ( that means you should be kind to your wife at all times) what is kindness? Help her, assist her, be there for her as a husband...you name all those little things that actually sound unimportant but actually depicts true kindness.

Love is also not envious (should in case your wife becomes very successful...would you tell her to quit that business or job simply because you may be slightly jealous and cannot stand her being as equally successful as you are?)

Love does not boast neither is it proud ( yes...as a husband, you do not have to keep repeating how much money you spend in taking care of the home and her inclusive in case you have a wife that is not working. Do not make her feel like a piece of trash)...simply put, love does not dishonor others.

Love is also not self seeking ( so it's more like a man is commanded to do what makes his significant other happy rather. A man should not be self centered that he becomes caught up with pursuing his own desires/ needs. In other word he must work at putting his wife's happiness first...sad but true...the "husband love your wife" phrase just happens to be this deep gentle man).

Love is also not easily angered ( I won't even lie...your wife would do so many annoying thing and you would just wonder what exactly is controlling her at that point in time) but it remains a duty for a husband to remain calm and be in control (you are commanded to resist any form of physical or emotional abuse at such trying moments...lol) at least thats if you are a husband fulfilling his own part of the deal.


1 cor 13:4-8 further goes on to expatiate that this love you are to have for your wife should never delight in evil. This love always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres and also keeps no record of wrongs. This simply means that a husband must learn to trust his wife (don't suspect her of cheating on you with that cute guy in her office simply because they are in friendly terms and you are slightly insecure about it). You are also compelled to forgive and forget her wrongs as a husband ( don't keep track of the number of times she has mistakenly put excess salt or pepper in your soup...lol).

The deepest part about the love a man was commanded to have for his wife in that 1 cor 13:4-8 is the fact that love is said to never fail (oh boy, don't even try to say you have fallen out of love with your wife as a husband...lol) it says prophecies would fail, even this heavy speaking in tongues spirit filled Christians do while praying would cease/fade. But the calling of love God had given a husband to showcase to his wife is compelled to live for ever ( till death do you part in this case that is, come what may happen...what she does or doesn't do...divorce is not an option...that is, it is your job as the husband and leader to have you both work on it...guide her...correct her...change also if need be in securing that you fulfill your part of the deal). Remember love never fails and as a husband you have been commanded to "love".

I do hope the church expatiates on these teachings someday and equally educate both parties on the depth of what they have been commanded from scriptures. Trust me if both parties are equally taught to fulfill their own part of the contract...or better put this mutual commandment (and not just the one sided teaching they dwell on this days). We would have much more happier homes. So before you kneel down and give that lady an engagement ring, ask yourself if you are really ready to do the serious work love entails (forget the feelings) and ask her if she is willing to submit to your leadership for the rest of her life.

So at this point I ask again, which is the tougher of the two, "wives submit to your husbands" or "husbands love your wife" ?

http://diaryofalovergirl..com.ng

"Wife submit to your husband or "husband love your wife"...which really is tougher?? OK...I know deep down you must have responded with the "wives submit to your husband phrase". Fair enough, it is actually not easy to lay down your desires, wants and needs as the case may be as a woman. I mean we are all humans and we all enjoy doing what makes us happy (who doesn't). Infact, when I was younger, I used to always say that Male and female were formed the same way so there was no way I was going to accept one gender boss over the other....lol ( yes I was seriously angry with all the men in the world).

Well needless to say...the issue of "woman submission" is well flogged by most church pastors. I mean they lay so much emphasis on this already. Yes, we hear the theory of wives having to submit everywhere. In some serious cases, some women are not even allowed to lead prayers even in the family altar or come up with useful suggestions for the growth and development of the family ( I mean who are you to that when the Bible had told you to submit...in their own interpretation) Eph 5:22-23.

Please try not to get me wrong...I am 100% in support of wives submitting to their husbands. It is scriptural, biblical and besides two people cannot drive a car at the same time. As a matter of fact, I personally cannot stand a man who can not actively be at the forefront in handling family affairs because as a woman, I was not created to be the leader (at least the stress was lifted off the shoulders of women way back from creation...lol).

So with that clarified, my only amazement or should I say concern lies in the fact that very little or no emphasis is placed on the role of the man "Husbands love your wife" (seriously, even most church pastors never really educate future husbands on what this entails).

In my own point of view, I believe "Husbands love your wife" is the tougher of the two. How you may ask...well I would try to explain it as best as I can. So What exactly is this love duty bestowed on a husband from scriptures?? Please cut off some crappy definitions of love we usually give.


1 cor 13:4-8 gives the true definition of the love a man was charged to give his wife. infact it expatiates that short phrase some preachers never really address. I also got to find out that "loving your wife" is much more work than "submitting to your husband" (as usual God always leaves the harder work for the stronger vessel).

So here is what loving your wife entails (1 cor 13:4-. Love is patient (this means that when your wife starts her impatient complaint...yea sometimes female creatures can be very annoying like that) you are to remain calm and in control (no hitting, no insults etc). This shows that way back from the days of scriptures, a woman has been known to exhibit traits that would require patience (serious one) and that was why God gave the man the responsibility to love (remain patient).

Love is also kind ( that means you should be kind to your wife at all times) what is kindness? Help her, assist her, be there for her as a husband...you name all those little things that actually sound unimportant but actually depicts true kindness.

Love is also not envious (should in case your wife becomes very successful...would you tell her to quit that business or job simply because you may be slightly jealous and cannot stand her being as equally successful as you are?)

Love does not boast neither is it proud ( yes...as a husband, you do not have to keep repeating how much money you spend in taking care of the home and her inclusive in case you have a wife that is not working. Do not make her feel like a piece of trash)...simply put, love does not dishonor others.

Love is also not self seeking ( so it's more like a man is commanded to do what makes his significant other happy rather. A man should not be self centered that he becomes caught up with pursuing his own desires/ needs. In other word he must work at putting his wife's happiness first...sad but true...the "husband love your wife" phrase just happens to be this deep gentle man).

Love is also not easily angered ( I won't even lie...your wife would do so many annoying thing and you would just wonder what exactly is controlling her at that point in time) but it remains a duty for a husband to remain calm and be in control (you are commanded to resist any form of physical or emotional abuse at such trying moments...lol) at least thats if you are a husband fulfilling his own part of the deal.


1 cor 13:4-8 further goes on to expatiate that this love you are to have for your wife should never delight in evil. This love always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres and also keeps no record of wrongs. This simply means that a husband must learn to trust his wife (don't suspect her of cheating on you with that cute guy in her office simply because they are in friendly terms and you are slightly insecure about it). You are also compelled to forgive and forget her wrongs as a husband ( don't keep track of the number of times she has mistakenly put excess salt or pepper in your soup...lol).

The deepest part about the love a man was commanded to have for his wife in that 1 cor 13:4-8 is the fact that love is said to never fail (oh boy, don't even try to say you have fallen out of love with your wife as a husband...lol) it says prophecies would fail, even this heavy speaking in tongues spirit filled Christians do while praying would cease/fade. But the calling of love God had given a husband to showcase to his wife is compelled to live for ever ( till death do you part in this case that is, come what may happen...what she does or doesn't do...divorce is not an option...that is, it is your job as the husband and leader to have you both work on it...guide her...correct her...change also if need be in securing that you fulfill your part of the deal). Remember love never fails and as a husband you have been commanded to "love".

I do hope the church expatiates on these teachings someday and equally educate both parties on the depth of what they have been commanded from scriptures. Trust me if both parties are equally taught to fulfill their own part of the contract...or better put this mutual commandment (and not just the one sided teaching they dwell on this days). We would have much more happier homes. So before you kneel down and give that lady an engagement ring, ask yourself if you are really ready to do the serious work love entails (forget the feelings) and ask her if she is willing to submit to your leadership for the rest of her life.

So at this point I ask again, which is the tougher of the two, "wives submit to your husbands" or "husbands love your wife" ?

http://diaryofalovergirl..com.ng/?m=1

I think the hard part about dating me is that you must be serious if not u Wld run away. I expect u to call regularly, care, show concern etc. when I see you doing it...I reciprocate...I am a caring person so I expect same. But I won't kick start it. I expect the man to know he is to win me. So once you start falling short and I tell you about it and how bad it makes me feel and you make no effort to adjust even a bit or we work on another acceptable plan, I see you as unserious and enter "watch mode" on the relationship and start encouraging other potential suitiors

Marriage ties u down a bit. Accept it. Just make sure it's someone u love so d tying down would be worthwhile...and u Wld enjoy it

legitimatefrank1:
i think am more free spirited,hate to be tied down

Lol@ 3 months...don't mind some of them...d prefer to throw money at u...when all u asking from them is to give them u (their time etc) why would a man throw a lady that wants him and not matierial things away God would help those with those issues.
I have been in that I am in a relationship and I thought I was dating myself o..n I loved him like craze...mstcheww
True...I tried hard to change him and he saw me as demanding too much attention when all I wanted was for us to build our bond which only happens via frequent communication. If there is anything I have learnt from you...it's to never try to change them. I agree with u 100%...I go dey watch u...dey plan my plan B

frenzyduchess:
trust me, I know what i want, there are ways to screen out unserious elements, i too was in a rationship for half a decade without seeing the head or tail of the relationship ,so i am not blind when it comes to issues like this, have you been in a relationship but deep in your heart you know you are single?,my dear, like I said , i only serve the hand i am dealt, if you are not the calling type, I wont sit around waiting for your call o, if you are nof ready to meet me half way I won't even border to move my feet. Everyone has their problem, I have too, but underlinning psycological issues such as this should be left for therapy to correct not you, thay is why i will not advice anyone to try to change such a person cos in all honesty a man who is into you will not stay that long without hearing from you. For me, I am not in a relationship until its three months ,so most of this guys don't even last up to three months before they fade away from your life

Ok I get you now. I would assume it's for relationship only you are saying this and not for marriage purposes. Cus if u truly know most men that have calling issues have emotional issues (that is usually larger than just the calling but just that the issues also manifests itself a bit in that area) you wouldn't want to marry a man with emotional issues in the name of you can adjust abi As in adjust forever?
So I Wld assume that your adjustment would be just for relationship purposes (for a short while) only. No problem for that one. Play with him too and dump him. but please agree to pick fresh tomato (emotional healthy one) instead of the one that is showing signs that portrays he has issues when it's time for marriage I beg u. To adjust (forever for marriage no go easy as u dey brag). You sha would not go to market and with your eyes open buy spoilt tomato to make your soup simply because you can eat any type of stew (fresh or rotten). You deliberately pick fresh tomoatos because at least u had an option. So make wise choices please. It's not sweet when a woman now chooses wrongly simply because she feels she can adapt easily and she later starts suffering and can't complain. I speak from experience o. I easily adapt too like you. I was adapting to his personality of no calling...one year...little did I know it meant he wasn't really serious with me...until he broke up with me and introduced his fiancée a week after...(and called her my heart beat). My day is incomplete without her and there I was being adaptable for a man that wasn't into me and had shown it by his bad calling habit. Can a man truly truly love u and not want to reach u?? I doubt? It means he isn't really crazy about u. Truly.

frenzyduchess:
seems you dont understad my view,i believe humans can adapt to any situation, I can adust to any type of guy, there is nothing like suffer there, if you are the calling type i simply reciprocate by buying credit to call you, but if not ,adios till when you call me, I nor send ,thats me for you. I know a lot of guys in the category of not calling almost often have intimacy issues, but that's not my duty to correct ,he is a grown man and I am no therapist ,so sitting him down from experience will only meet stif resistance and trust me you will either make yourself look clingy and needy or worst still irritate him

We shall pray for u

NnamdiN:
I have tried severally and failed as much......It's not working and I have given up(kinda), I'm quite lovey dovey as long as we together but a little distance fu.cks everything up.

You can readjust for relationship
Would u continue to do that long term or in marriage?
Y can't u both readjust....can u imagine?
U Wld get frustrated cus only u Wld b making sacrifices to make d relationship work.
Tell him your needs...maybe if you like morning and afternoon and evening call and he likes calls after every two days, you both can work on him calling once a day then...u get
That way he Wld compromise and u too Wld compromise mutually
He Wld step up
And u too Wld step down too small
If u keel sacrificing and he sees you are bending to keep him...he would start acting anyhow and won't care about your feelings....babe na u go suffer am long term...after all my wife can adjust to my unseriousness
Learn to demand being treated right but not fighting him...talk it out n see how u guys can adjust...
Together
Simple that's all am saying
If not when he dumps you...that's when you would hear ursef after all I did to make the relationship work...n he won't care cus he did not invest that much ( in terms of sacrifice etc in making d relationship work)

frenzyduchess:
If we are to talk about what's fair and what's not according to our perception, I am sure it will take all day,I have come to realise that guys who don't call often see ladies bombing their phones with calls as a bother, infact they find it irritating and can't seem to relate when you shower them with affection, in the end the relationship might go south because he feels you are too clingy, so it's not about being fair to one's self, it's about being able to psychologically relate to why people act the way they do, and readjusting to avoid friction in a relationship

Then work on it. All this things is what makes a lady feel loved...loving another is not about u...it's about making d other person happy. Am not saying you should change. U guys fail to understand ladies. I am simply saying you should improve. Work on it.

NnamdiN:
I can't stand the constant communication(too much calls freak me out)Sometimes I watch my phone ring out coz I wasnt mentally ready to take that call ...I'm fine even if I don't hear from you in weeks.

I dont remember dates(not even special ones)I wont remember our anniversary, your birthday or even mine
and thats the reason I've never dated

You haven't met who you love yet. So she should keep dancing to ur tune? Love isn't selfish haba... you should learn to make compromises for someone u like. That means your marriage won't last if you marry...it's about compromise...you compromise this week...she compromise the next week. No woman is perfectly like u....so in my view...I feel that till you meet a woman u love... really love before u stop being a selfish self centered brat. I met a man like that. We started dating...he would call Monday rhen next Thursday or so...at the beginning o...me I ran away...I like tender love and affecrion

chiraqDemon:
Its that i am usually not committed
Ill do everything to ask a girl out and wgen she now agrees i will now see it as stress
Especially when she wants us to go out ill just be like
Babe i csme back from lectures and went to work, i dont have energy and ill just b that way till she is tired and when she is gone i usually dont even feel it, or no, it feels more like a burden has been lifted and im free again

I just don like someone else trying to change my lifestyle settings
School to work to home, anyday i deviate will b at the bar close to my house where men meet and then back home
If no school and im free from work id rather stay home

Girls just try to chsnge this n i dont want to