*Garri does not cause poor eyesight; those who make it do!*


No Nigerian kitchen can be said to be truly Nigerian if it does not have a space reserved for a bucket of Garri, or a miniscule basin in the very least. Although those of the South-Eastern faction prefer theirs corrupted with what seems to me an unhealthy yellowish hue, Garri in its natural complexion resembles a sparkling white prince (without the fantastical white unicorn, of course).

Garri has a distinctly pale skin which is markedly coarse, perhaps a tactile indication of its crucial significance in times of economic austerity. Garri is to Nigerians what Kentucky Fried Chicken is to those North Americans. Chicken and Chips genuflect in its godly presence; boxes of pizza cower in its might; it doesn't even need television or radio advertisements and still manages to sell more than nudity does in cyberspace.

The haves want it. The haves-not need it. Its ever-welcoming arms are where many a Nigerian student recourse to when weekly allowance has run dry and that messianic credit alert is yet to animate the screen of their phones. Perhaps, in an alternate reality in which Jesus were a Nigerian, “Garri” rather than “bread” might have earned the enviable role of playing the metaphorical body of Christ!

Yet, a thing which performs such a vital role in the lives of many Nigerians is often – and unjustly too – at the butt end of an allegation which so happens to be falser than Kemi Adeosun's NYSC's certificate (I stand to be corrected if this bold comparison later proves to be a tad premature).

What informed this piece? Well, myself and a couple of friends were looking for a black hole and an alien spider monkey in the infamous Iyana-Iba market along the Ojo-Badagry expressway. As expected, we found zilch! We were then taunted by another set of friends for our failure. They teased us with these words, “You guys couldn't find what you were looking for because you drink too much garri.”
(To believe or disbelieve my black hole cum alien spider monkey excursion really is the prerogative of your discretion).

So, does Garri truly cause poor sight? From where did this “Garri-poor sight” yarn originate? As with all things of great magnitude, the origins of the Garri-poor sight story is shrouded in a cloak of uncertainties and speculations. Some say that its origins could be traced to a crop of Nigerian students who returned from their boarding houses looking severely malnourished and sporting “new pair of glasses” – supposedly, a visible marker of their inordinate Garri-consumption while in boarding school.

Maybe Garri-consumption is correlated in some way with why those boarders needed an extra pair of eyes, but it is definitely not the direct causal agent. Hence, the Garri-poor sight yarn is but a baseless superstition, and not much different from the many other superstitions which have conquered both time and space in worming themselves into the collective Nigerian consciousness. To mention but a striking few:

1) All Calabar girls are inexorable nymphomaniacs.

2) Hausas are usually honest.

3) Igbos naturally excel at trading.

4) India beat Nigeria 100-1 in a football match, in which the ball occasionally transformed into a flying, fire-spitting dragon.

Should Garri be completely spared of flak? Not entirely. Research on the subject has revealed that the cassava tubers, from which Garri is gotten, contain high amounts of cyanide which serve the purpose of protecting these cassava plants from marauding herbivores. To produce Garri, these cassava tubers are peeled, grated, drained of water, and fried. Improper processing of these cassava tubers, however, could cause Garri to be cyanide-laden, consumption of which could lead to cyanide poisoning. Excessive cyanide in the body could, for instance, have adverse effects on the optic nerve, leading to diminished vision or total blindness.

Garri by itself is not a thief of vision, but rather those hands which improperly process Garri out of cassava tubers – hands most likely riddled with impatience and nonchalance. There you have it! The next time you decide to allude to Garri-consumption as the cause of a friend's poor vision, do well to remember that the butterfingers which produced them are most culpable.



Author: Michael Aromolaran (Stay Woke)

08066799108

Adedebo45@gmail.com

BecaciaBarbie:
Please, how do I register for ICAN using HND?

http://icanig.org/ican/article.php?id=28
After your registration number is out, apply for necessary exemption where applicable.

You think Ojuelegba is dirty, try Mile 12 and Badagry expressway (from alakija to Okoko paying special attention to Alabarago, Volks, PPL, Cassidy and some others)

You are the best thing that has happened to me

I guess the Lannisters, Starks and Targereans could put aside their differences for a day after all. Oh! and the wildlings too.
Congratulations Kit and Rose. I guess Jon Snow knows something now...

Just so you know, after the update the phone's battery will start driaining faster. If you use the app lock feature on Xsecurity, the whole app is gone.
On the up side, most of the annoying system apps are gone, then the internal memory is optimised... Take me for example, I had 4GB ROM before the update but met over 5.4GB on my device after the update. The whole interface is finer (at least to me)
Oh! I almost forgot, magazine screen lock has been modified. It's now one per time, no more chance to add up to 9 personal pictures neither can you slide left or right or see the next/previous wallpaper. If you like doing that like me, it's gone... Sorry.

Mirror97:


There might be no one like him you really can't say. You're not giving her the normal advice.

she should apologise for over reacting, Friends say mean things to each other and that should not be the end.

Are you still talking about the op here?

Friendships end, no biggie. Move on, it's not like there is none like him.

Been there, done the aforementioned. Bottom line is, if the guy doesn't like you too then none of these will work. Or he might like you but not enough to make him wanna date you.

Please who got a message to attempt the quiz that looks like this?

Who else has been able to attempt the quiz 'cause I keep getting "quiz is not available" when I login.

elmedico2023:
My crush was the lady in the Just the 2 of Us.

Swanta.

Saw her at Ojuelegba about three years ago. Still looks the same though.

See cake in abundance, that they won't even finish sef.
And I couldn't even get one on my birthday

1. Foreign - Falz and Simi

2. Shape of you - Ed Sheeran

3. Say you won't let go - James Arthur

4. I bet my life - Imagine Dragons

5. New rules - Dua Lipa


Bonus
6. Shout out to my ex - Little mix

7. Bodak Yellow - Cardi B

8. Can I be him - James Arthur

9. Something light - Falz ft Ycee

We winning big tonight...

Falz

Stay indoor and wonder what future hubby is doing all day...

I'd choose my course over and over again

izzyybothe17:
. .


Depending on where you are coming from, if prolly na Iyana Ipaja. . Once you get to Lasu gate. Enter the school compound. Take a walk down, take the first turning by your right hand, then ask any student ya going to MBA

To the right Are you directing him to FMS or what?

motikorede:
please how are we gonna get to the MBA dept

When you get to the school gate, board a shuttle and tell the driver you want to drop at MBA

Ayinke97:
the only receipt that the cafe gave me is from the quick teller site.......do i need another receipt from lasu site or that's just what i need for evidence of payment for the acceptance fee

That's the only receipt you'll need

shabzy95:

Okay, no problem this my facebook handle Emmanuel juliano fanimokun you can add me up or my email Emmanuelfanimokun95@gmail.com

I just sent you an email

shabzy95:
CC Hadeehart101

pls dear, I really want to find out somethings about Accounting dept. How can I get to reach you.

Sorry, I can't drop my number or email. But if you can drop yours, I'd drop a message.

Kimzylove:
Pls,help a sister get a hostel.Self contain precisely with room mate.thanks

Don't be too desperate else you might risk getting scammed. Just chill, you'll meet your coursemates at the point of screening you can make friends with and then secure an apartment together.

LASUnarian:


Okay. But the tardiness in LASU's admission process this year is really unnecessary though, and it verges on redtapism. Upon the moment I was admitted, I thought that by December we would have paid acceptance fee, done clearance, and paid school fees. Beginning the new year with unnecessary registration stress doesn't seem so appealing.


Anyways, I'm in search of a hostel, and I have no contact at LASU. An affordable self-contained. Do you think you could help me out? Should I give you my number so we can talk on Whatsapp?

I think I can link you up with an agent. Drop your whatsapp number

LASUnarian:
Good afternoon, everyone.

Please, I want to ask, do freshers usually begin classes before or after payment of school fees?

All things being equal, before payment.

Ermacc:
When they wake you up for 5am morning devotion. Na this one been tire me pass.

As in... When I'll eventually sleep in all day.
Mom isn't nice in this aspect at all