We all make mistakes, but the wrong thing most people do is not to accept the blame, and the worse is putting the blame on somebody else. If you learn to accept your blame, it will greatly improve you, your life and relationship. Because instead of putting the blame on your partner you will accept the blame which is going to make you and you partner enjoy a healthy relationship,it also shows your maturity.

Let me give you this example, there was a day I was using my younger sisters laptop, there was light initially and later the light went off and we heard the information that the light won't come back on because it's faulty. She told me I should help reserve the laptops battery so she could use it later in the night for her project, I replied ok but I didn't shut down. Like 30minutes later she came back and saw me still on the laptop, she insulted me and took the laptop away. These makes me very angry and I was hurt but I now thought about it again, it's her laptop, there is no light, she needs it for her school project. I concluded It was my fault, I was selfish I didn't think about her, I didn't put her in mind.

I accepted my blame and immediately the anger and hurt varnished just because I did the right thing of accepting my blame. Come to think of it, I was actually at fault and I know I'm going to do the same she did to me to her if it were to be other way round. So what I'm trying to say is, sometimes we create problems, hatred just by not accepting our blame and most times we are always at fault not the other person but we don't want to see it or too angry to see it.

I know it's very hard for you to accept your blame, it's not easy but I'm telling you it's more easier to accept your blame than to put it on somebody else. The following reasons are why you should learn how to accept your blame

1. Self Improvement and Greatness: when you learn to accept your blame, It creates rooms for you to improve because you will learn everyday just to correct your mistake and so that you won't make the same mistake over again. When you learn new things you don't know, you are automatically improving yourself to become better and when you become better you will be great. The same thing apply to your relationship, you accept your blame, you improve yourself, you become great and you enjoy your relationship the more. Most great people in life started by learning to accept the blame for their failure, they don't put it on the economy or government. Emulate this attitude and watch your life and relationship sky rocket.

2. Peace of Mind: when you learn to accept your blame, you will have peace of mind. You will have inner peace because you won't be angry at anybody, maybe your wife,husband, friends, and society. When you have peace of mind you will be able to see positive side to every thing in your life.

3. Improves your Relationship and Society: when you accept your blame, it improves your relationship and the society in a way you can't explain. Because instead of you to put anger on your partner and be harsh to them you will actually show them love and when you show them love, they are happy which in turn to they show others love and that's how it will spread. Because people don't want to accept their blame is the reason why most people in Nigeria are angry, anywhere you go to you see people trying to put their frustration on you and this frustrates you also that you put the frustration on the next person you see.

In a relationship, both the guys and girls are bad we all know that and the reason it's not reducing is because they are not ready to accept their blame. When a guy treats a girl badly and you try to tell him that's wrong, he will throw it back to your face that when a lady treated him bad were was the person. But does it justify that what he has done isn't wrong? And ladies too, you break heart for a living and you are happy just because a guy treated you bad but have you blamed yourself for giving your heart to the wrong person. This thing is a matter of choice, you chose him nobody chose him for you, so when he treated you badly you should blame yourself don't shift the blame to the guy. Listen, I'm not saying the guy has done a good thing, what he has done is bad but I'm telling you he's also putting the blame on the last girl he dated that treated him bad.

Putting your blame on others worsen the situation and it doesn't change anything. This is actually because of pride, we are too proud to say I was at fault, too proud to accept we made a mistake. We are human beings, we will surely make mistakes so why proud to accept it. In fact if you don't make mistakes you will not grow, because you don't have anything to improve on.

Husbands put the blame on the wives, wives put blame on the husbands, father put blame on the children, children put blame on the fathers. Please tell me who's now at fault? Present government put blame on the past government, we all keep shedding blames. Hmmm, I don't think it's in any law in the world that they should imprison or eliminate anybody that make mistakes, so why are we scared to accept them.

Learn how to accept your mistakes and watch your life and relationship improve for the best.


AJiboye Ifedapo
BBM PIN: 2B4352C5
Channel pin: C0012F050
Site: www.luvventure.com

Source : http://luvventure.com/why-accepting-your-blame-improves-relationships/

This is a true life story of a lady and it’s not Hollywood or Nollywood. This sister is a Christian and a good Christian for that matter but I can’t really say how close to God she is because it’s only God that can judge that.



Now to my story, the sister is of marriageable age and she has been praying to God for the kind of man she wants, but instead of this sister to wait on God to decide and choose for her, all what she was doing is admiring a neat, clean and fine man in the church and praying to God that he should come and ask her out. This man is a cool man, handsome, tall and I know he has a good job, he is not a worker in the church, he just come to the church every Sunday service for worship. This sister admires and loves the man a lot that she has it in my mind that this is my husband but that’s not how God works.

Read Also: True love is what he has for me but blind to see

I believe God has prepared a partner for each person in life, so it depends on how patient, obedient, and submissive to God that determines the journey between you and how you are going to meet your partner. Back to my story, but there is the brother in church too, that is of marriageable age. He has been praying to God to for his partner and God has shown him that the sister is his future wife, he didn’t stop there, and he kept on praying just for assurance until he saw the revelation over and over again. After he has been assured, he went to his pastor, which is the church pastor (that’s how it should be normally) to tell him what God has told him. After telling the pastor the pastor says ok, give me some time let pray too, after some days has passed and the pastor have prayed, he called the brother to his office and told him he received the same message, the pastor called the sister to his office and asked the brother to tell her what he saw, the pastor said his too but the sister said God has not told her anything.



The pastor told her she should pray about it too and come back with the feedback, days passed the sister didn’t come back, weeks the sister didn’t come back, by this time all the ministers in church were aware, they were all praying and seeking God for what to do. They summoned the sister to their meeting (ministers meeting) the sister told them she hasn’t seen anything that’s why she didn’t come back, meanwhile the sister hasn’t been praying. She wants another man; the ministers knew something wasn’t right, so they went to the parents (still interceding on her behalf).

Read Also: Love Book 4; Men From The West



To cut the long story short, God took control and they got married, but inside the marriage the sister wasn’t treating the brother good, she hated the brother for marrying her and for not allowing her get married to the man he wants. But the brother wasn’t complaining, all he was doing was pray to God. The sister went to the market one day and this fateful day, something happened, that same man that she loves and admire in the church was walking on the street of the market mad. She was shocked to the bone and started thanking God, when she got home, she went to her husband and went down on her kneels to ask for forgiveness. She said “since have been with you and married, I have never loved you, I have never treated you good, I’m truly sorry, I was blinded but as from today, I will start loving you, and I will be the best wife to you as you want me to be, pls forgive me”

Read Also: Valentine Tears- Love Book 5

Can we all see how God has saved her from that shackles of getting married to the wrong man, she was very lucky but not everybody will be as lucky as she is because we have different grace following us, so pls let be careful with the choices we make and let’s be obedient to the word of God. Humans can’t judge rightly, only God can, so leave the wheel to God and relax, be sure he will drive you safely to your destination.



PS; The choices we make today whether good or bad determines what will become tomorrow, endeavour to make the right choice

Source: http://luvventure.com/when-i-was-about-to-get-married/

Choosing a partner is simple, but choosing a partner that will support you, agree with you, join hands with you to fight this life battle is where the problem is. That's why I will tell you now that, it's not about getting married, it's about getting married to your perfect fit. If you have seen, hear and fought a war before, maybe physical, spiritual or mental war you will understand what I'm saying and the need for you to choose your partner wisely without pressure or selfish reason. In the bible, Jesus said "where two or three are gathered there I am in their midst." (Mathew 18:20) do you understand that? I love God, he's so perfect. Why do you think he started from two? Why didn't he starts from one or three? Because he has planned it all, he did it because of husband and wife, has it is in the beginning so is it now at present and so shall it be in the future.

"Again I say unto you, that if the two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask , it shall be done for them of my father which is in heaven." Mathew 18:19

A husband and a wife can become mighty partners in prayer . The prayer of agreement requires just two of you on earth, agreeing according to God's words. You may be mighty in prayer alone, but you will be mightier with your spouse joining you.

Another verse says "can two walk together except they be agreed." Amos 3:3. God has a reason for emphasising this, he created marriage, he loves the union and he has laid a good foundation for it, so couples will know their right and have some spiritual backing. So if you and your partner isn't agreeing, I'm telling you there is fire on the mountain. The devil knows this things, he knows he's in trouble if couples should agree, so he's out there working day and night to make sure they don't agree, to make sure they pick wrongly and you are there sleeping and taking everything for granted. I pity you

You better know what you are into and stand up to your feet to fight the devil over your marital problems, if you are not married yet, congratulations, this is a second chance for you to brace up, pray without ceasing, work and study hard to be sure your partner now is your perfect fit, your bone of your bone because if him/her isn't your perfect fit and you show stubbornness and get married to the person, you have just signed your destruction letter, and you will learn the hard way. All these preaching it's not for myself, it's for you, if you like yield to warnings, if you like be hard hearted and strong headed, it's your choice, it's your cross. Let me tell you this, nobody will be there to suffer with you, not your parents, not your friends, not your pastors. You will be there on your own and suffer all the pains and agony on your own, the best everybody can do for you is to help you in prayer and with moral talk.

For every bad marriage that happens, the devil and his agents rejoice because they know they are winning and have won. If you die inside the marriage with the grudge of your partner inside you, you are going to hell. God won't listen to your lamenting that it's not my fault, its my husbands fault. They are just stories because he has given us powers over principality and to choose right but you were blinded by love and went astray. So it's your cross

Let us see some point about the power of two. If you look deep you will see that most important things in our body are in pairs. Eg the eyes, the nostrils, the legs, the hands etc they are in pairs so that they can complement each other, so they join forces together, so they can be more powerful.

Let's try this, just fold one of your legs and try to walk, are you able to walk? That's the point, and that's how you are if you are not in accordance with your partner. If your partner is not joining hands with you, you are walking with one leg. You will struggle, you will be slow, you won't make that impact, you will be weak. Fold one of your legs and try to run, can you? Won't your opponent that are chasing you catch you? They will definitely catch you. Well, you might not die, you might suffer it if you are strong enough but I'm very sure you will have lots of stories to tell after your victory. It might even have affected your body, your appearance, maybe you are now looking older than your age. I think looking older than your age is still even better than you now having to sit on a wheel chair due to stroke. Tell me can that kind of person enjoy and celebrate his/her victory? I don't think so

Now let's try this again, don't fold any of your legs and try to walk, hmmm can you see the difference? Now try to run, wow no opponent is ever going to catch you except you lose concentration. That's the power of two, that's the power of you and your partner joining hands together.

"One will defeat one thousand and two will defeat ten thousand". Wow, I love this verse, but baffles me is, it says one will defeat one thousand and two ten thousand, I don't think that's a good maths. Why is it not two will defeat two thousand? Are you asking yourself the same question? Don't worry, I will tell you the answer. It's because two will do times ten(10) of what one is going to do. Can you see the power of two now? Not times 2, not times 3, not times 5 but times 10. Wow two is wonderful

"Two heads are better than one." tell me of what value is the second wing to a bird when one wing has been cut off. The second wing is completely useless. So when you are choosing aa life partner these are things you should put in mind. Don't just choose because you are frustrated, because you have pressure from home, because all your mates are already married. There is more to marriage than what you expect. Always remember it's not how far but how well. Have met with different ladies, some ladies will even have date for themselves, I want to get married this year, this always make me laugh. Because of this, they give anybody that comes there way the chance, and I know the devil. When he knows this, he will find his agent, fire him up and make him look gorgeous, exactly the kind of man that the lady is looking for. On seeing this man, the lady will fall totally in love not knowing she's actually falling in love with the devil. After marriage, the problem starts and that's how it will be till they have kids and they are all grown ups. Most people die in it and some always overcome. Tell me how hard it can be out of your 70years on earth you have spent 45 years in sadness and fighting battles all by yourself. What then have you come to do on earth, what will be your impact. You never enjoyed your marriage and the good things of life. It's heavy, and very deep. I cant finish all the words in one article, I think I need to write a book to be able to pass it all out of me for people to read. Take the right decision today

May God help you as you are about to start making the right decision. Put God first, in the middle and at the end. Jesus started with prayer and ended with prayer.

If you are already married before reading this article and you are facing battles in your marriage, this article might not work for you but you can still get to understand one or two things from the article.

PS: This life we are is a war zone, so If you want to choose a partner, choose a partner that will join hands with you to fight the battle. It will be bad if you are fighting life war and still fighting marital war at the same time all by yourself and it will even be worse when your partner is among those people you are fighting against. Be wise, let God choose for you

Relationship/Dating/Marriage coach
AJiboye Ifedapo
BBM PIN: 2B4352C5
Channel pin: C0012F050
Website: www.luvventure.com

Source: http://luvventure.com/two-must-become-one-you-can-not-run-with-one-leg/

Wow, we are in the 21st century that's cool, computer age where everything is different but let me tell you this. It's affecting our relationships and marriages in a negative way more than the positive way. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying 21st century is not good but what I'm saying is, the way people incorporate it into their lives, relationships and marriages are bad and it's affecting a negative impact on it that's why divorce rate increases every year.

Now it's not even computer age anymore, it's not communication age and it was information age before communication age aand after computer age which shows all these things are not permanent, they are temporary and will change. But our God never change, he's the same yesterday, today and forever, he's words will never change. Why don't we all follow the word of God for our marriage and relationships, a word that never change, a word they have been using since maybe 5000years ago, which means it's has been tested and confirmed and next generations will still use it.

Some people even believe what they hear or see online than the word of God. You tell people about how to handle their relationship, they tell you that's old school, it doesn't work anymore this is a new generation. Hmmm, new generations and broken is increasing everyday, children are not enjoying the family love anymore and still we are still imbibing the new generation thing. Let me tell you if you want a good marriage, it's better you face and use the word of God.

Most men and women don't even know their roles in marriages anymore, they don't know what they are to be doing and what they are not to be doing. It's in new generation they will tell you it's ok for a lady to ask a girl out, they will say relationship now is 50/50, even some ladies even go to the extent of them taking 70 and leaving the remaining 30 for the guy.

It's written in the bible " He who finds a wife findeths a good thing." I have not seen, I have not read and I'm still looking for "She who finds a husband finds a good thing.". This God created us, he knew and know us. He knew that there will be 21st century, he knew there will be computer age. I guess that's why he never changed his words so we can know the difference and the authentic words. In genesis, Adam was alone, doing all the work alone, in the garden all by himself, well he's not the one that complained to God that he needs an helper, it was God that noticed it himself which shows God has created man to be strong alone. So God said I will find him an help mate, can you see that, "HELP MATE." God didn't say I will find in someone that will be in charge, someone that will control him, someone that will do all the work, he didn't even say someone that can share the work with him 50/50. Wait let me back this up with the verse " And the lord God said, it's not good that a man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." genesis 2:18

So when you follow the word of God in your relationship, you will have peace of mind and when you get married you are 100% sure your marriage is secured. As a lady when you are in a relationship, the guy claims he loves you but you are the one doing everything, my sister the word of God is not working in you. If you fail to allow the word of God works in your relationship, and you get married and started having problems, you are on your own and can't blame God for it. "And the man will leave his parents and cling onto his wife." if he's not clinging onto you and you are the one clinging onto him, you are on a wrong path. You have taken up the his work which is not meant for you.

I'm not saying as a lady you must stress your man, or be harsh to him, what I'm saying is supporting him doesn't mean you should take up his duties. It's the man's duty to provide and lead the woman. One good quality of a leader is to check up on his followers, and if you are checking, you check through phone calls, check through text messages, by going over to your followers house and so on. The followers in this context is the woman. And when he's checking up on you it's good for the woman to reciprocate with love, it will be bad for me to visit my followers at home and is hostile to me, that to me means she doesn't want me around. Or maybe I called her three times, she didn't pick and didn't bother to check up on me through text, call or visits for the past two days to know if I'm ok. Some guys do this to and it's very wrong, I can tell you that if this should happen to you then you are single

"Husbands love your wives even as christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." ephesians 5:25

"So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh but nourisheth it and cherisheth it, even as the lord of the church." ephesians 5:28-29

Wonderful passage, for no man hated his own body but cherish it and nourish it. The nourishment for relationship is communication, and when he's not doing that, it's good you let him know and if he's not ready to change then you move on and wait for the right man who knows and ready to follow Gods words instead of you now taking up the job. It's just a ladies job to assist, support, and help, it's not to take up the man's job. It's better you go with a man that allows the word of God to guide him, to be his fortress because he already knows his roles and he's ready to play it.

Now to the ladies, your role is to submit to your husband , to help him. Most ladies find it hard now to submit to a man and that's we have many broken homes. God created us, he knows what will work for us and he has laid down the rules for us, it's a written script our job is just to read it and start acting. Even if we don't submit to God our creator, he's always leave us to our decisions, he doesn't force himself on us, there must be submission. There is nothing like 50/50 or its the new generation, your role is to take care of your husband, prepare him delicious meal, take care of the home, launder is clothes , listen to him, follow his commands, put him first and so on. And with all these things, he can also support and assist you but not share it with you or him taking all of it up.

Don't let 21st century take away our happiness in relationships and marriages. Don't let us neglect the words of he who created us, don't put yourself in shackles. Some men are not ready to do their roles, tell them now if you are single and if they are not ready to change you move on, and the ladies that are not ready to play their roles too, tell them and if no changes you move on and if you are already married and facing this challenges, I greet you take heart, go to God in prayers there is nothing impossible for him to do, tell him you are sorry and he should correct your mistake. We must all be ready to play our roles and part, that's the way it can work.

A man saying I love you but I don't know how to provide or I don't like calling, and a lady saying I love you but I don't like submitting is like saying, I'm a christian but I don't like going to church, then you are not yet a serious christian. I hope you understand this

Some people don't even know their roles, they don't know what they should do or not, if you fall into their hands, it's your challenge and cross, carry it. God will help you

I can continue because I still have a lot to say but I got to know that, no matter how long I write and how short I write the ones that will understand will and the ones that won't understand won't.

It's my job to guide but I can't make you understand, many are called but few are chosen.

All I want to see is a happy home, happy family, happy wives, happy husbands, happy children, happy individuals and a happy society

Source: http://luvventure.com/21st-century-spoils-marriages-use-the-word-of-god-instead/