This is something I am very worried about, I am trying to have a child and I am scared that I lose it prematurely or anything really...
How do potential mothers get over this fear?

First Trimester

1. Find the right care provider for you. Just because you’ve been going to the same OB for the last 10 years doesn’t mean they are a good fit for you and your baby. For us, we found great midwives and a hypnobirthing coach. They have made this whole experience 10,000 times better than I ever could have imagined. So, explore your options… and don’t feel guilty about it!

2. Don’t read pregnancy books (or internet discussion boards) that cause you anxiety. Sorry, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, but you are kind of scary. And Google? You are way too quick to lead me to believe that there is something majorly wrong with the little cramp I just felt “down there.” There is such a thing as too much information, and it’s really hard to avoid but… try to stay away. If you really think something is wrong, call your care provider before trying to self-diagnose.

3. Buy a nightlight for your bathroom. During the first and third trimesters I’ve spent more time peeing in the middle of the night than I can count; the overhead light in the bathroom was too jarring and I found it hard enough to navigate my way there without stepping on the dog, any of his toys, or walking into the wall half asleep. That little beacon of light coming from the bathroom has saved me many times… best five dollars I’ve spent!

4. Go easy on the maternity clothes. I mean, maternity pants are kind of amazing and I never want to wear anything with a normal waistband again but… save some money this trimester. Pick up very few essentials that you really need (for me, it was a pair of black maternity slacks and a new bra) and wear the hell out of them until you have a better idea of how your body is changing as you go.

5. Find your support system. Find family, friends, a new mom group, La Leche League, whatever works for you! Make a point to stay engaged, ask questions, and meet new moms. Having the support as you go through pregnancy and beyond is invaluable. As one of the midwives at the birthing center said, “When you grow babies together, you form lifelong friendships.” Truth!

Second Trimester

6. Go away – no, really! Whatever it is that will help you relax – time away with your partner, your friends, or just you… make a point to get away and enjoy it.

7. Cross major items off your to-do list. Get the nursery set, finish projects around the house, and tie up loose ends before third trimester exhaustion creeps up.

8. Take a childbirth class and learn about your rights as a patient and parent. The more you know, the better off you and your baby are during birthing and beyond. Decide what type of birth experience you want to have, learn everything you can about the procedures in place where you’re birthing (from what you can do during labor, what tools do they have available to help you, to what their procedures are for the baby after birth including tests, vaccines, etc.) and then decide if it’s a good fit for your family.

9. Sleep a lot (and write down your crazy dreams). Sleeping was one of my favorite parts of the second trimester – for me, I was still sleeping comfortably and wasn’t peeing as often as I was during the first or third trimester. And those crazy pregnancy dreams? Write them down and share them with people (if they aren’t too weird) because they are hilarious.

10. Back to those maternity clothes. It’s probably time to expand your wardrobe – see what you can borrow from friends or find second-hand; save your money to buy a really cute outfit for your shower or maternity photo shoot if you’re doing one. Other than the hand-me-downs I received, my go-to shopping spots for a few necessities (which I’ve worn to death) included the clearance racks at Macy’s, Target, and Kohl’s.

Third trimester:

11. Everything is harder on your body so celebrate the small victories – and ask for help. Honestly, I didn’t even feel that pregnant (other than my bout with morning sickness) until I hit the third trimester. All of a sudden everything was harder and I needed help with things… I hate asking for help. My low point came at the end of a long day at work when I found that I could not comfortably reach down to unclasp my sandals; I decided my small victory for the day was getting them on in the first place, and then sucked it up and asked my husband to reverse-Cinderella the shoes off my feet.

12. Savor the time your baby is in your belly… it’s almost over! I have felt nothing but amazement every time I feel the baby move (OK, and a little bit of discomfort during those kicks and punches to the cervix) or wake up and see that my belly has grown. It’s just SO cool! As excited as I am to meet the little guy or girl, I’m a bit sad that pregnancy is almost over. Baby is safe and always with you when they’re in your belly. It’s a special time – so take every opportunity you can to soak it in.

13. Put a waterproof pad underneath your fitted sheet. Your body will continue to do things that are out of your control, and you will appreciate the waterproof pad saving your bedding if your boobs leak/you pee yourself/your water breaks at night/etc. at any given point in time from here on out. After baby comes, use it for any and all of the inevitable messes you’ll be dealing with.

14. Stock up! It’s helped me mentally prepare for a big change knowing that I have easy-to-eat-with-one-hand meals in the freezer, ready to go, and that I’ve stocked the house with necessities and recommendations from friends like:

Post-birth goodies: chux pads, maxi pads (yes, like the ones you used in middle school), mesh underwear (the least sexy underwear you’ll ever put on, or so I hear), Preparation-H wipes (in case that happens, again)
Baby essentials: diapers, wipes, shampoo, gentle laundry detergent, clothes
Kitchen goods: paper towels, dish soap, napkins, dried & canned goods
Bathroom supplies: toilet paper, shampoo, soap
Other important stuff: bottles of wine, cheese, updated netflix queue for middle-of-the-night feedings
15. Make a wishlist – plenty of people (family and friends, near and far) will ask what they can help with. Be ready with an answer (or two). Don’t be afraid to take someone up on their offer of walking the dog, throwing in a load of laundry, or even picking up a few things for you at the store. People want to help, but sometimes don’t know what to do so… help them help you and be ready with that wishlist!

If nothing else… enjoy every minute of your pregnancy – the easy days and the hard ones. This is just the beginning of a fantastic journey so keep a journal, take pictures, and savor it.

Although fertility partly depends on the father's age and health, the mother's age matters more, so researchers looked primarily at how a woman's increasing age and declining fertility would affect her chances of successfully conceiving and carrying a baby to term.

The scientists used a sophisticated computer model that simulated the potential outcomes of 10,000 couples without any known fertility problems who are trying to become pregnant.

They found that a woman should start trying at age 32 if she wants a 90% chance of having at least one kid without resorting to IVF and at 27 if she really wants two children without assistance.

Being open to using IVF, however, buys you time: up to a decade or more, in fact.

What's more, if you're willing to accept a 75% chance of success, the woman can be 37 years old to begin trying for one kid, 34 for two, and 31 for three.

Before you take the plunge, you and your partner may find it helpful to ask yourselves these questions:
Are you both equally committed to becoming parents?
Have you thought through how you'll handle childcare responsibilities and balancing work and family?
Are you ready to give up sleeping in on Sundays or line up a babysitter every time you want to go out without your baby?
Have you thought about how becoming parents may change you, and your relationships with those closest to you?
Are you prepared for the possibility that your child may have special needs?
If you have religious differences, have you discussed how they will affect your child?
Having a baby won't just have a small impact on your life, it's going to shift the centre of your universe. Some new parents find this a shock. Think about how you'll feel, how you usually cope with change, and how you can prepare yourself for the highs (and lows) of parenthood.

Reproduction (or making a baby) is a simple and natural experience for most couples.
However, for some couples it is very difficult to conceive.
A man’s fertility generally relies on the quantity and quality of his sperm.
If the number of sperm a man ejaculates is low or if the sperm are of a poor quality, it will be difficult, and sometimes impossible, for him to cause a pregnancy.
Male infertility is diagnosed when, after testing both partners, reproductive problems have been found in the male.

If male infertility is suspected, a semen analysis is performed. This test will evaluate the number and health of his sperm. A blood test can also be performed to check his level of testosterone and other male hormones.

If female infertility is suspected, your doctor may order several tests, including:

A blood test to check hormone levels

An endometrial biopsy to check the lining of the uterus

Two diagnostic tests that may be helpful in detecting scar tissue and tubal obstruction are hysterosalpingography and laparoscopy.

Hysterosalpingography (HSG). This procedure involves either ultrasound or X-rays taken of the reproductive organs. Either dye or saline and air are injected into the cervix and travel up through the fallopian tubes. This enables the ultrasound or X-ray to reveal if the fallopian tubes are open or blocked.

Laparoscopy. In this procedure, a laparoscope (a slender tube fitted with a fiberoptic camera) is inserted into the abdomen through a small incision near the belly button. The laparoscope enables the doctor to view the outside of the uterus, ovaries, and fallopian tubes to detect abnormal growths, as in endometriosis. The doctor can also check to see if the fallopian tubes are open at the same time.

What Causes Female Infertility?
Female infertility can be also be caused by a number of factors, including the following:

Damage to fallopian tubes. Damage to the fallopian tubes (which carry the eggs from the ovaries to the uterus) can prevent contact between the egg and sperm. Pelvic infections, endometriosis, and pelvic surgeries may lead to scar formation and fallopian tube damage.

Hormonal causes. Some women have problems with ovulation. Synchronized hormonal changes leading to the release of an egg from the ovary and the thickening of the endometrium (lining of the uterus) in preparation for the fertilized egg do not occur. These problems may be detected using basal body temperature charts, ovulation predictor kits, and blood tests to detect hormone levels.

Cervical causes. A small group of women may have a cervical condition in which the sperm cannot pass through the cervical canal. Whether due to abnormal mucus production or a prior cervical surgical procedure, this problem may be treated with intrauterine inseminations.

Uterine causes. Abnormal anatomy of the uterus; the presence of polyps and fibroids.

Unexplained infertility. The cause of infertility in approximately 20% of couples will not be determined using the currently available methods of investigation.

"Women are born with a finite number of eggs. Thus, as the reproductive years progress, the number and quality of the eggs diminish. The chances of having a baby decrease by 3% to 5% per year after the age of 30. This reduction in fertility is noted to a much greater extent after age 40."

Is this true?

"Not being able to get pregnant within the first six months was frustrating, but not alarming. I knew that most couples conceive within the first year of trying. When the one-year mark came and went, I was concerned, but didn’t take any concrete steps toward getting answers with the help of a doctor. I was just barely 20, after all, and I was young and healthy. Sure, my cycles were irregular and there might be a stretch of 6 to 10 weeks between periods, but if I’m having periods, then that means I’m ovulating, and eventually everything will align properly and I will get pregnant, right?

On the grand spectrum of infertility, our problem was solved relatively easily. We didn’t have to use costly, invasive procedures to build our family, and my physical issue of being anovulatory didn’t detract from my ability to safely carry a pregnancy. As such, I decided to be a gestational carrier to help another infertile couple who did need to use such extreme measures to have a baby. Being a surrogate was my way of “paying it forward,” so to speak. It was during medical testing for surrogacy that I received a full and proper diagnosis for my infertility — Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).

Our four children range in ages from 9 to 13, and our family is complete."

Stories like this give me hope

My Husband has been going to the clinic for the past few weeks, we are remaining hopeful
Thank you.
Bless you

It truly makes life easier knowing there are other people going through what I am going through.
Thank you
Bless you!

My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a few years now and so far, nothing.
We are praying that it will happen soon (please keep us in your prayers)
Is anyone else going through this?
We have gone to a doctor/clinic and we are starting treatments.

Hi there Brian,
Have you been to a clinic/doctor yet?

Brian2015:
What I want to know is this. My wife and I can not have children, we have been trying for more than 3 years. Every single month we are timing her cycle. We have gone to see our GP who has said that there is nothing wrong with her. I am the problem. I am sterile. what am I to do? can anybody help?

Thank you for posting this.
It was incredibly relaxing to read.
Thank you.
Bless you.

Arlington:
Hello everyone,

I wanted to start this for women who are still waiting for a child, who have tried for a long time, have suffered miscarriages, still births  and  are trying to find alternative ways of having a child.

In our culture it is really difficult to talk about this as people are ashamed or don't know who to trust  and are just generally confused. I have suffered 2 miscarriages and i am still on this journey i believe that i will  be a mother some day.

We believe in Nigeria after 2 years  and no child you have major issues especially from your village but i know that is not always true.

So please come in let us support one another we can pray together, share ideas  seek advice and get advice  and travel this road together dont suffer in silence don't cry alone anymore let us help each other, until the day we carry our bundle of joy.
(My own bundle of joy was born December 2010 nothing is impossible with God)

Hi there Aniia,

I am a 24 year old female, my husband and I are struggling to conceive, however we have seen a doctor (which is giving us hope) we are planning on going to a clinic.

It is nice hearing that someone else cares. thank you
Bless you

AniiaCares:
When it comes to the issue of conception, it is common-place in our modern society for couples to struggle at times; often the idea that a woman should bear her husband a son is cause for continued trying and in the case of failing to do so, may result in the dissolution of their marriage - however, it need not be so.

I have worked with specialists in the field who have made tremendous strides medically in assisting couples who are a) struggling to conceive b) would like to be able to influence the gender selection of their unborn child to a greater degree all with excellent success. Should this be something you struggle with, do get in touch - I would love to be able to help you and point you in the direction of experts who can assist.

I posted a week ago about my husband and I having problems getting pregnant
We have started going to a clinic and are feeling very hopeful.
Thank you to everyone who has been sending encouragement and assistance!

Are you been to a clinic?
My husband and I are making an appointment.

Brian2015:
I have spent the last 2 hours reading this entire thread... WOW...

I must say that there are so many questions that I have now. I am 38 I am 100% sterile. I know there are clinics out there that can help I am simply really nervous of getting seen at one of these. I am also wondering what do I ask the doctors and how to go about getting more information about my wife and I getting pregnant, when I am clearly the problem

I am sorry you have been going through this, I have been going through something similar with my husband.

I can sympathize entirely

Brian2015:
What I want to know is this. My wife and I can not have children, we have been trying for more than 3 years. Every single month we are timing her cycle. We have gone to see our GP who has said that there is nothing wrong with her. I am the problem. I am sterile. what am I to do? can anybody help?

My husband and I have be trying to have a baby for three years.
We have been trying everything.
I have spoken to my family and they are getting worried.
I am scared that I cannot get pregnant and am infertile.

What can I do?
Should we go to a clinic?
Please help me.