I felt compelled to post this link as many of the topics suggest we all need this kind of reality check. Enjoy.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=rPBH57BWhpE&feature=bz301

So lets make eachother smile more often.

That depends on the individual. What are your needs,wants, issues etc. Define LOVE.

@ Poster, you ask these questions as though 'AFRICANS - Nigerians' are a different entity from Black folks. You are African - remember that.

Get to know him for your self and you will find out all the specific questions you want to know about him. Had you asked about his Nigerian culture, now you would be talking. Your asking for peoples general view on things which can only really be specific to him as an individual!

@ Poster, and whats your own with her, you di smarried man.  Leave her alone, stop sharing your wifes cooking with her. ' what does she want' , she wants you to leave your wife for her. Damn.

@ Poster, I feel for your situation. Pele.

Seems you may have tried to run before walking in regards to getting over your loss. You probably know this already but your loss is a blessing in disguise. After 9 years he just left you for a younger model and got her pregnant and married her. I don't want to get your hopes up but that is a recipe for disaster, and in due course your ex will find his way back to you. However I'm sure the writing was already on the wall, and as people in love do, you decided to ignore these alarm bells.

Girl, no body can reject you if you accept you. Think about it! Congrats with the business and try yo keep your head up. 6 months is not time compared to 9 years, give your self time to heal positively, and ask yourself exactly what you miss about him - be HONEST with your self.

One love.

Tough question. I would cancel the wedding - only to get my thought and feelings in check. I still love the love of my life, but I have now fallen in love with another man. Not an easy dilemma. Has the love of my life changed given his 5 year spell in prison? Do we still share the same values etc as we did 5 years ago? How much have I changed in 5 years? What qualities in a man do I now consider valuable in a long term relationship? Does my long lost love have these qualities? Am I still IN LOVE with him, or do I LOVE him unconditionally and care for him? What a dilemma! After all I no longer know him.

I say, honour your feelings for her and tell her you like her and want more than just a frendship with her. BUT, you must get your feelings straight within yourself first. AND you aso have to really consider the relationship you have with your current girlfriend and the one she has with her boyfriend! Are you both living in denial and messing about with your partners? Think my friend think befor you act. Sounds like you may have outgrown your wanna b player ways, or is it a case of wanting what's not yours?

I feel so blessed to read these replies. Thank you and please keep them coming.

I accept the replies which state it's simply 'lack of interest', however I'm more inclined to subscribe to a mixture of Olanajim x2, ThoniaSlim and davidylan, as I too have been pondering these same theories. Maybe that is the case, he's not interested but doesn't want to hurt my feelings, by rejecting me Thinking of it like that I can now understand the poster who suggested he's actions were not outright disrespectful!

One thing I have had to consider from the get go is, this guy had told me his time is precious to him and he's very focused on building his business, therefore, he does not want any woman to come into his life and try and take this time, he has even stated that his child does not get much of his time as the way he see's it, he is building for his child's future. Another thing is the relationship he has with his female siblings - doesn't seem that great and he missed an important event for one of them and still has not made amends with her! This is what I mean by putting ppls behaviour into context., what chance do I realistically stand! Although I heard him then, I am now digesting all of this info as time unfolds. I would also go as far to say, this is someone who has a full plate but doesn't know how to communicate this to me, rather he has left time to indicate this fact.

Anyway, he still has not contacted me to say 'sorry' therefore, I consider the weekends No show as a deliberate act! If he genuinely could not meet with me, I'm sure he would have simply informed me by now. Then again, he's silence is nothing out of his regular behaviour. Looooooooooooooong tings!

Any way sha. Please feel free to keep your take on it coming. Although I have erased all traces of his number - again.

Men/Boys, please try to treat women the way you wish to be treated, do not take a woman's kindness and patience for a weakness! Communication is a wonderful concept. Abi.

@ all, I thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. I have already considered the reply's and have already decided to 'hang up my running shoes'.

Greetings Nairalanders, Please, I would like sincere advice on my situation.

I met this young man earlier this year and we hit it off very well; conversation, rapport, flirting etc however, it became a situation where I found my self letting him know that I would like to get to know him better, he responded in kind, but since this time it has always been me making contact, suggesting things etc. In normal situations I would have taken the hint and left this brother alone.

He has been consistently bad at communication, and from the offset he informed me that he is like XYZ and true to form, I have experienced XYZ from him. The thing with this man is, although he leaves all the contacting to me, he always responds in kind and opens up to me, we have both spoken volumes about our like and dislikes, marraige, kids, the kind of woman he is looking for, to the extent we speak as though we are discussing our relationship. He has told me what he finds with me - the good and the bad. However, due to his lack of input, I cannot deny, I'm confused. Is he testing me or is it just simply a case that this brother is not interested in me in that way? Or is he unsure of me? 

Just the other day, we spoke and I asked him if I was waisting my time with him as he doesn't contact me or suggest anything etc, in a nut shell, he basically indicated that I should not take this personally. We agreed to meet up on the weekend, however he just left me hanging!  I mean what nonesense is that 

I'm a woman who does not see life in black nor white, rather I believe in looking at the context in which people behave. My confusion with this man is that when we speak, we speak at length and he's level of interest towards me surfaces, however he has not put his talk into action. Just the other day we spoke again and he informed me that he is seeking a woman who can put up with his ways, I know these ways encompass his lack of communication and I am now started to think I'm being tested.

I know we all go through a level of testing people for suitability, but personally, I feel the way he left me hanging and did not respond to my call, was nothing beyond disprespectful. I have once again decided to leave this brother alone once and for all; as we know, people will treat us as the way we allow them to treat us! Me, I don't want to get to the point where I loose the respect I do have for him.

My question to Nairaland is, has he been testing me or was is simply a case of basic non interest. I hope my thread made sence, if you want to know more please ask.

One love.