Pepsi101:


Bros,some Niggahs no sabi game barneys. Before you decide to date any girl,make sure that girl na your friend before becoming your girlfriend. Until she becomes your friend,she is just a girl you hang out with.

Your head dey game bro...

Wish every niggah adopts this pattern

youngbelieve:


Hmmmmmm me am jus observing oooo...this bestie of a thing tho!!!

Lol...

Do you by any chance think Lalasticlacla 's attention should be called to this??

Pepsi101:
OP Abeg no come spoil this Bestie package o.


I have two"BESTIES"for the past two years now,believe me I don't even want or need a girlfriend,because these girls supply all my needs.I just relax and enjoy perks of the office.

Lol...

Ever imagined yourself in the shoes of an OFFICIAL BOYFRIEND??

Just remember that what goes around comes around...

CHAVINCI:
you will not understand my dear,i also have a female bestie and we Bleep regularly,infact we bleeped today.

This is just about all that happens between besties...

ILLICITblood:


It won't get to that

I just want to put it to you that if it gets to that, she won't say no cuz she's built too much intimacy with you (more than with her bf).

As a matter if fact, if you want that girl to dump her current bf, she will. See, besties stand a better chance with a girl than Boyfriends.

What that girl has told you about herself, I can arguably assure you that she's not told her bf those same things. You can ask her to be sure.

Besties own the day.

Amarabae:
Bestie is a fraud,
Your boyfriend /girlfriend should be your bestie,
You can't figure out one person and call him or her bestie without any attachments except for some few cases.

You're damn right!!! FRAUD!!!

ILLICITblood:


I don't really know... but they are fine... Everything going smoothly

TRUST me bro, that girl shares more intimacy with you than she does with her boyfriend. If you want to sleep with her now, she won't object.

ILLICITblood:
I don't really get the hate in all this..

I have a Female Bestie

we've been bestfriends for over four years and I'm hoping its gon last forever

Yes..she tells me everything

but we've never had sex or anything related to that..


No I'm not impotent

yes! we both are sexually active

Yes she do sleep at my place.. and I sleep at hers

but we've never and will never go down...


why?

cos we've discussed about issues like these ones and I've decided never to b carried away because it will be fruitless...

All I'm trying to say is that not all Besties are side lovers... Atimes we are just Besties

I bet she's not this close to/free with the guy she calls her boyfriend. Can you Confirm?

barallanee:
Is my bf nt supposed to b my bestie Why wuld I have a bf and claim to have a bestie... It means I Dnt like his company.. Cut d bestie crap

On point!!!

NarnieSnyper:


Lmao . I don't know why some girls do this kinda ish.

I was also in this situation months back; I just jejely dey my own, she came to me, we became friends, she told me she got a guy, I didn't even care, because i wasn't even interested though she's kinda pretty and hot, then she started throwing herself at me, always in my place 24/7, she even made the move on me, I let my guard down, and "it" happened, now I don dey catch feelings while babe is now rolling with another G

Hahahahahahahahaha

It's like falling victim to #One_Chance

Magnoliaa:
lol, this is so true...

You can say that again...

DeadRat:
Summarise Your Novel In 5 words abeg

Which novel??

kendrace:
I concur

I once had a bestie, who had a gf and damn we did things, ..this bestie stuff is just a term used for side lovers...And it's like the same with guys, don't tell me you've never pressed or kissed your bestie?

I broke up with my bestie few days after I started dating,cause I knew my bestie was going to be a problem. I'm not saying you shouldn't have a bestie but if you're going to get into a serious relationship, you should be able to let that bestie go..It would be unfair to your partner....stop this bestie scam

jacyhelen:
Hahhahahahahaha..funny but true...Girls dont and never loves a guy that share careing and love.
We use bestie to deceive our main Boyfriend..MayGod forgive us.
If u are a man and ur girl says something about bestie,chase him away on time or she will start fucking him.

You are very #Truthful...

I admire that...

At least you're that one girl who makes it obvious that threads like this are not created to bash girls like many girls love to think...

But why are girls like that??

JoeKingin:
Been there done that bro... All ladies want is money and good penising, money I have not but I will penisise your life real well, the official boyfriend can give you money.

Choi!!! Badt guy!!!

BiafranBushBoy:
Deep!!!

Very deep!!!

JoeKingin:
Bestie sef na long thing.. Just call on her when you need her. That feeling when you see her and boyfriend all loved up, and you smiling wickedly with your Gs

You seem like you were once an official boyfriend who moved to being an ex-boyfriend, and then to being a bestie, and now to being an Ex-Bestie.

You want to know who an OFFICIAL BOYFRIEND is? He’s the idiot who pays the bills, shows the most love, and gets pinned with the pregnancy. He’s simply the guy put on reserve to bear the burdens imposed by those other ones they call BESTIES. And you want to know who a BESTIE is? He’s the smart guy who reaps what the official boyfriend sows, loves less, and is usually the father of the child that gets pinned on the official boyfriend.

And all the while, the idiotic official boyfriend will be gushing over his girl on Facebook, posting her pictures on Instagram with FIRE EMOJIs to express his blazing hot love for her, and forming ROMEO on almost every WhatsApp status. When it’s time to go wild, naughty, and sexually adventurous, the girl beckons on the BESTIE(S).

But when it’s time to rehearse wifey roles and impose responsibilities, she goes to the official boyfriend who has been cajoled to feel so loved, adored, preferred, and responsible for her everyday need in order to prove his manhood. An official boyfriend pays the price to be afforded the privileges that a bestie gets as an inherited entitlement.

All the secrets, little talks, true character, flaws, and just about everything that fuels intimacy are bared before a bestie in all confidence. But the official boyfriend only knows as much as she wants him to know, which usually shows her off as being an ANGEL to reckon with.

Sometimes, this could be a calculated attempt at DECEIT. But most times, she withholds those info from him in fear of scaring him away with them. What they don’t know is that those details foster the bond they so crave. So you see that a girl finds herself in a mess and is more comfortable discussing it with a bestie than a boyfriend. Ever wondered why?

She shares something more intimate with the bestie than the boyfriend who is just there asking and answering questions like; “Have you eaten?” “How was your day?” “How are your parents and siblings?” “You know I love you, don’t you? I can cross seven seas for you. I can even take a bullet for you.” “How much money do you need this time?” Blah-blah-blah…

Meanwhile, discussions with a bestie are like; “You sef! So you did that thing again abi? After you’ll be carrying that your face as if you don’t know something. Haha. I’m hungry oh, and I don’t even have a dime on me. Abeg help me with small money mek I chop. How is your boyfriend jare? Hope he’s taking care of you o? He better takes care of you because I don’t like it when you’re not cared for. Shebi you know that I care? Oya come to the house let me show you.”

Between a girl and an official boyfriend, there’s pretense, secrets, lies, deceit, etc. (could be for the right or wrong reasons). But between a girl and a bestie, there are no secrets, no pretense, no lies, and no deceit. It’s the true definition of FRIENDSHIP which should be FOUNDATION of a girl’s affair with a boyfriend. A bestie knows the ins/outs of a girl. But an official boyfriend only knows what makes the girl unique and worth to be his girlfriend.

However, these besties are scarcely willing to COMMIT to an official affair like the official boyfriend does. The bestie is preferred but unavailable. The official boyfriend is the available guy who became preferred based on his availability. Trust me, you don’t want to be that guy. So, before you go official, start off as a bestie. It’s more likely to foster a more solid bond than when you start off with love lines from Jesusboy’s novel, “OGECHI & I.” You can save that or later.

In conclusion, if you’ve noticed that you’re in the shoes of an official boyfriend, convert to a bestie ASAP!!! The rewards are boundless!!! Don’t just sit there like a figurehead who does nothing more than pay bills and shoulder responsibilities. Be a friend!!! Get to know your girl!!! Question her and force answers out of her!!! Find out the dirty secrets she fears to tell you, recite them to her, and make her know you cherish her nonetheless and her secrets die with you.

When you do so, she’ll loosen up and grant you unrestricted access to her world, and you’ll become both a bestie and an official boyfriend (a better position than that of an official boyfriend alone). Again, you will have an upper hand over those other bloody besties. Just like GLO, you must always endeavor to RULE YOUR WORLD!!! If you don’t, someone else will, and you will be paying tax to that person. BE WISE!!!

If after all said and done, you notice she can’t seem to make do with you as a bestie but can’t do without those other besties, she’s a promiscuous type. She only wants to keep you as her ATM and possibly pin one her bestie’s pregnancy on you. When those besties finally ruin her life, she’ll try to use you to cover up the loopholes and make it look like her miserable life had always been on track. So what do you do? Drop her like a bad habit and let her village people do the rest. Thank you.

Fkforyou:
Beautiful....

Indeed

Often times when we hear the word RANSOM, our minds flashback to the days when the wrath of the Niger Delta Militants fell on the cheating government, and ruthless politicians embraced the occasion to feed their aspirations, making kidnapping the order of the day in our dear country. Back then, the commonest of all words was RANSOM.

But you see, kidnapping is just one of the ways of holding people to ransom. There are a couple more ways, ranging from blackmail to setup, to dirty deal gone wrong, and all whatnot. Even little Junior held his dad to ransom when he heard him flirting with a neighbor and threatened to tell mom except he stopped objecting to his habit of consuming excessive chocolates. From that time, mom was the only one complaining of Junior’s abuse of chocolate. Lol.

The case was no different with the SAINT before his white hands turned BLOOD RED. Unlike Junior’s dad, he couldn’t imagine being put on a leash like a common PET DOG. But in an effort to safeguard his sainthood after a couple of misconducts, he deprived a man’s body of his spirit and deprived the man’s spirit of a soothing eternal future.

It started out like an innocent indulgence in guilty pleasures which saw the saint trading secrets with THE OTHER SOUL. Their union commemorated the scripture that speaks of “two people walking together agreeably.” It was nice until another scripture came into play; the scripture that says “a kingdom divided against itself will fall.”

They say people agree to disagree, and breakup to makeup. But with the saint, it’s a one-way traffic; no disagreements, no breakups. I wish the other soul consulted oracles for a possible sound counsel before breaking out from the shadows into the open with the saint’s secrets ON FULL DISPLAY. That was an inexcusable blunder; or a mistake, as you may like to put it.

The shadows became the saint’s abode, for he dared not step into the open, as the world awaited his entrance with triggers and arrows in readiness to shoot him down the moment he surfaced. They had judged and passed him a death sentence after learning of his secrets from the other soul, the worst of them being that he made an attempt at summoning demons from hell to the detriment of HIS OWN SOUL, and that of THE OTHER SOUL whose head had by now been graced with the hero’s crown.

Vile creatures of the dark became the saint’s unwelcome companions. They tormented him daily and wished they could snap life out of him and prey on his soul for all eternity. Whenever the saint recalled the peace and glory of the good old days and took his thought to his present state, he cursed the day he met THE OTHER SOUL.

It soon began to seem to him like the other soul’s SHAME and ASHES were traded for his GLORY and BEAUTY, and he vowed to never let the history of ESAU and JACOB repeat itself. It’s already bad enough that he failed to equally prevent the repetition of ADAM and EVE’s history. But he was bent on making sure that the other soul does not GLORY in his SHAME; at least not any further.

So he sent word out to the other soul, asking for a secret meeting at the shores of the Atlantic Ocean where he planned to drown them both and end it all. To his greatest amazement, he found that the other soul had not really bared his secrets. The other soul said this to him;

“I only told the world you asked if I’d be interested in joining you to explore the shadows. I told said I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to. But before I could either give my consent or decline, you held me by the hand and led me into the shadows. I told the world the truth…”

“Half-truth, you mean to say,” the saint cut in aggressively. Did you tell them that you inversely beckoned on me to take you down that path? Did you make known to them your yearning for the experience of exploring the shadows alongside a saint?”

“I was only hoping on your light to direct my path,” the other soul logically declared.

“In the shadows?” the saint reasonably questioned.

“You could have declined, you know…” the other soul attacked.

“And why did you beckon on me to take you down that path if you hoped on me to decline?” the saint reasonably questioned again.

“Like I said, I was only hoping for your light to direct my path,” the other soul held fast to a favorable position on the offensive. “Enough of this argument already. The past remains unchangeable. But we can do something about the present and the future.”

“And how do you propose to restore my sainthood which you selfishly trampled upon? I’m sure you also didn’t mention to the world that we had not started exploring the shadows when you lost guts and cowardly retreated into the open, leaving me to bear the consequences alone. What happened to owning up to your actions?”

“Enough of this verbal attack!” the other soul retorted. I’m not the obvious culprit here. So why don’t we see how to redeem your sainthood and let bygones be bygones!”

The saint was irritated by that audacious attitude. But he kept his cool and asked; “what do you propose?”

“I’ll go to the world again and declare the truth,” the other soul replied. “I’ll tell them I was lured into the shadows by an unknown force, only for me to meet you there and freak out. But you calmed me down and innocently asked if I’d be interested in exploring the shadows with you. But I wrongly concluded you had something to do with the force and meant me no good, thus retreating into the open with accusing fingers pointed at you. I’ll tell them I’ve realized that the same force lured you there and got you so caught up in it’s web that you unconsciously entertained the idea of coming up with that unlikely proposition.”

“That’s not the truth!” the saint challenged.

“The truth will do us no good! So I’d advice we stick to the plan and get this over with!” the other soul retaliated.

There was not much the saint could do. He was the disadvantaged one. So he obliged, and the plan was set in motion. It worked out for them. His sainthood was restored, but the other soul was viewed as more of a hero than the saint, even though the reverse was really the case.

How we view ourselves is of little consequence. But how others perceive us is important. The saint’s name was rallying cry that should never have been temporarily dented by the other soul, and now, it was PAYBACK TIME. Even though his sainthood had been restored, the other soul often communicated to him via body language that his restored and acclaimed sainthood can be demoralized in a moment if he as much as tried to reign supreme overall like in past times.

The saint was somewhat held to ransom by the other soul, and that was not something he could bear for one more moment, not to mention his whole life. So he set up a meeting again with the other soul at the same shore they met previously. The other soul obliged, thinking it was some sort of “operation appease the gods.”

Well, to cut the long story short, the other soul was tied to objects that owed their loyalty to the force of gravity and cast into the Atlantic Ocean, thus serving as a meal for sea creatures. The other soul’s loss became a mystery to all, and it was assumed that certain forces may be responsible for the loss, having lured and preyed on the soul.

Consequently, the saint was off the other soul’s leash and was nothing short of what he had always been; A SAINT OF SAINTS. However, for the very first time, his sainthood became really questionable to nature, for he had become BLOODSTAINED. But nobody knew.

It’s unwise to hold a man to ransom. But if you must, take some time to consider every possible outcome. Even a saint’s heart can be DECEITFUL and DESPERATELY WICKED like the bible says. You don’t want to get caught up in the web of the heart’s DECEIT and WICKEDNESS. I rest my case!!!

Narcissist!!!

No one is born a narcissist. That poo doesn’t flow in the gene, I suppose. It’s more like a defect that looms in the air, contacted by the poorly oriented, or at the most, the rich in acquisition. But none of those was the case with the unloved narcissist. From the groins of a regular dad, he underwent a 9-month nurture in the womb of a meek mom.

As a teenager, 30-year-olds housed him in their company on account of his level-headedness. He was richly oriented; all thanks to the higher beings of blissful paradise. But though his wealth of brilliance commanded the attention of the high and mighty, getting equally rich in acquisition seemed a mystery that beat his brilliance to it.

On the wrong side of 20s already, still, nothing to show except accumulated knowledge, experience, understanding, prudence, sensibility, insight, and common sense. Consequently, misery set in, and he resorted to finding solace in LOVE. But his quest for romance tripled his misery, injecting in his soul an impossible puzzle.

His best shot was a French-speaking Nigerian beauty who never ceased to irritate him with her high-pitched voice, supercilious tone, and feigned generosity. His mom’s breed were either distant adorers who came to be familiar loathers, or ghostly shadows, or glaringly invisible treasures; a riddle he looked to the higher beings for a pending explanation.

He couldn’t help embracing the way of the Lizard, expressing approval of himself for every job, whether well done or not. He walked the earth half dead, duly recognized by legitimate beings, craftily tailed by intellectual pests, artfully adored by grouchy lovers, but scarcely embraced by the only ones his heart went out for; a thing he considered a deliberate cruelty that should never go unrewarded even if the heavens were to fall on the earth.

He lost his once tender emotions to excessive bitterness, laconically throwing salutes at legitimate beings, outrightly giving the middle finger to intellectual pests, coldly undermining grouchy lovers, and passionately abhorring the only ones his heart desired, still desires, and will forever desire.

He’s now consumed by an inflated idea of self-importance. Leveraging on the soundness of his mind and a fair knowledge of technology, he came up with programming codes that were auctioned off to one of the wealthiest technology experts in the world at a whopping $30bn. At long last, wealth became a reality. But what about love?

Money bought him his once imaginary kingdom: the council of elders, beautiful maidens at his service, and innumerable subjects. But in all, one thing lacked; a Queen. Often times, he stood by the window of his castle and looked through the casement to behold a mammoth crowd of maidens pledging to wash his feet with their tears and wipe them with their hair every day of their lives if adorned with the queenly crown, or if as much as granted audience.

It was now much more difficult for him to pinpoint a worthy queen, a loyal wife, a true lover, a best friend: his heart desire. But he couldn’t care any less about her again. Why did she have to wait for the traffic to get this high? Why did she leave him wanting and wandering back in the days? What had she been doing all that time? Where had she been?

He couldn’t also care any less about the mammoth crowd of maidens that surrounded his citadel in hope of winning his affection with their persistence. However, most of the maidens eventually dropped their ambition for the much coveted queenly crown and only appealed to his Mercy side for a little aid.

The harshness of the sun’s heat took its toll on them and the rains baptized them a thousand times, yet the unloved narcissist only cared about delighting himself in the comforting thoughts of his long-awaited wealthiness. As far as he was concerned, the world revolved around his riches.

He didn’t care who judged him for being real. He was definitely not going to fake anything about himself to gain the love he had all his life been starved of. He grew to love himself excessively that his self-love seemed to fill the vacuum that was meant for emotional love; though the vacuum was never really filled.

Just like all men, he feared the inevitable destiny of the living: DEATH! Without finding love before death, will his life really count? Just before the word “NO” invades the mind and finds expression through the mouth, consider the progression of his life and answer this: will he ever find love? Will he ever be loved? Will he ever be any more than an UNLOVED NARCISSIST?

TarOrfeek:
You no dey sleep well for night?!

As in?? I no understand the question ooh...

The era of PONZI was a blessing to many, but not as much as it was a curse to a whole lot more. Boys touched money and became millionaires in a space of weeks, and they didn’t even have to leave their rooms. Gucci bags, Italian shoes, gold watches, and brand new cars all of a sudden! What in the world do these guys do for a living? they usually asked.

The EFCC investigations turned out frustrating. Of course, they were bound to be. This was no SCAM, neither was it some sort of magic. It was just a matter of GIVING ONE AND TAKING TWO. A lot of people called it GAMBLING. But these guys called it a POVERTY ALLEVIATING SCHEME. I think it had to do with the differences in OPINION.

“A” and “B” students on WHITE COLLAR JOBS scorned their certificates. Two years on the job and not even a piece of land to boast of. The best their earnings could do was PAY BILLS. But these guys, from being adorned with rags, rose from street corners, seashores, and bridges to becoming lenders; a questionable sudden development.

The more their source of income was being questioned and investigated, the richer they got; until SCAMMERS invaded the scene and curtailed CASH FLOW just like they do in basically all works of life; the government, private sectors, and even churches. – WELCOME TO NIGERIA!!!

These guys had gotten used to the GOOD LIFE and would do just about anything to make sure they don’t return to street corners, seashores, and bridges. However, without constant cash flow, the digits were bound to decline until it was no more. There was only one way out; INVESTMENT.

Talks with a couple of entrepreneurs revealed what it took to set up an enterprise and how long it required before profits start flowing in. It was nothing like the 100%/200%/300% RETURN ON INVESTMENT within 24 hours these guys had gotten so used to. Investment became a NO-NO; or perhaps, a SECONDARY means of revenue generation.

They needed a PRIMARY means, and an idea dropped in their minds. It wasn’t something new. It could yield 100%/200%/300% return on investment within 24 hours, or a couple of minutes, or even a few seconds. It was a more rewarding venture, but not as much as it was riskier; the riskiest of them all, GAMBLING!!!

Luck made them this rich, so they hoped for more luck to grow richer in their new found venture. It took only N5,000 to be enlisted as a member of a top gambling house in the city. On their first day, they watched BABA IJEBU lose N10m after casting a dice on the board and having a lesser number than his challenger who walked away with a whopping N20m smiling, as he puffed out smoke from his Cigar. Choi!!!

“Mek we go try our luck,” one of the guys said to the others. N100k went in for the first trial, they lost. Losing became a routine until it dawned on them that investment would have been a better option. But now, there was no more cash to invest. Still, these guys wouldn’t settle for anything less than the GOOD LIFE. That was when the devil showed up with the next best idea; the last resort; “YAHOOZEH,” or “WIRE-WIRE,” or what you may know as INTERNET FRAUD!!!

It turned out YAHOO BUSINESS was not just about PLAYING THE CON like many suppose it to be. Triggers had to be pulled. Blood had to be shed. Human sacrifices had to be made. Of course, BABA’S IDOLS HAD TO BE FED!!!

It didn’t hurt to pull the TRIGGER
It only hurt to take the BULLET

So, for the shots that were fired with the FINGER
The victims surely had skeletons in their CLOSET

Blood stains got boys’ bank accounts BIGGER
And when conscience hunted, liquor helped FORGET

Pure saints became deadly SINNERS
Until the day they kicked the BUCKET

Thankfully, one was left to TELL THE STORY. Not all that glitters is gold. Narrow is the way that leads to life. Broad is the way that leads to death. BEWARE OF THE DECEITFULNESS OF WEALTH. You may not leave to tell the story.

Your village people are strong!!! I fear them!!!

Artzdanielsz:
lols seriously party wow who is she.

What I wrote there was THREE--SOME. Nairaland changed it to Party

CaptainJeffry:
Most of the points are nonsense. Tell my daughter you wanna quit your juicy job and be a barber, I will cancel the wedding myself.

Then you're not training your daughter to be a wife material. What if you're the guy in search of a wife material? Abi you're married already to a wife material? Tell us how u did it

ReinaFarine:
Copy and paste from Joro.
At least put your source.

Do you really know what "copy and paste" is??

PrimadonnaO:
Just don't try 10, 11 and 17 with me. The others aren't much of a big deal.

I think if care isn't taken, you will have serious problem with your mother-in-law. Lol...

radiokilla:
Nigerian babes are something else abeg. I just tested my fiancee. It did not end well. Babe was saying i should draw whatever conclusion I feel like.

Nairaland is not a place to get relationship advice o.

You mean you just tested your fiancee with one or more of the above-listed and it went wrong

pweshboi:
Lol op... Are you talking about the Nigerians girls that majority of them are 98% dependent on me? And come online to brag about feminism. Though some of the excuses are ridiculous if you ask me, no girl will ever put up with some. The reaction from number 1 self would be NO!!!!

98% dependent on you and come online to brag about Feminism...

That cracked me up bro.. Lmao

mrsfavour:
some ladies can cope while some can't cope.

Those who can't cope aren't wife materials, I guess