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Nairaland Forum / Kasieze's Profile / Kasieze's Posts
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Romance / Re: Pampering Of Guys/Ladies In Relationships-isnt It Disastrous? by Kasieze(m): 8:48pm On Nov 11, 2014 |
Below is how Nigerian Churches will become in 2030: PASTOR: Praise the Lord. CONGREGATION: Halleluyah! PASTOR: Can we please turn our iPads and Kindle Bibles to Exodus 20:1. When you’re done, kindly switch on your Bluetooth to receive the sermon… Please have your debit cards ready as we shall now collect tithes and offering. You can connect to the church WIFI using password Lord99087 and as for the renovation donations, you’re welcome to contribute via EFT or mobile banking. The holy atmosphere is truly electric as the iPads beep and flicker. CHURCH SECRETARY: This week’s meetings will be held on the various Whatsapp groups so please don’t miss out! Wednesday Bible teachings will be held................................... http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=331 continue |
Family / Re: Where Are The Majority Of True Nigerian Men? by Kasieze(m): 8:48pm On Nov 11, 2014 |
Below is how Nigerian Churches will become in 2030: PASTOR: Praise the Lord. CONGREGATION: Halleluyah! PASTOR: Can we please turn our iPads and Kindle Bibles to Exodus 20:1. When you’re done, kindly switch on your Bluetooth to receive the sermon… Please have your debit cards ready as we shall now collect tithes and offering. You can connect to the church WIFI using password Lord99087 and as for the renovation donations, you’re welcome to contribute via EFT or mobile banking. The holy atmosphere is truly electric as the iPads beep and flicker. CHURCH SECRETARY: This week’s meetings will be held on the various Whatsapp groups so please don’t miss out! Wednesday Bible teachings will be held................................... http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=331 continue |
Romance / Re: Man Buys 99 Iphones To Propose To His Girlfriend; She Says No (Picture) by Kasieze(m): 4:24pm On Nov 11, 2014 |
Funny man; A man fainted outside Mr. Biggs (an eatery). Soon a crowd gathered around him and someone suggested, “Give him some water, it will help.” Hearing this, the man opened one eye and said, “Commot from here, if na. ........... http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=326 continue |
Jokes Etc / Funny Man Joke by Kasieze(m): 4:22pm On Nov 11, 2014 |
Funny man; A man fainted outside Mr. Biggs (an eatery). Soon a crowd gathered around him and someone suggested, “Give him some water, it will help.” Hearing this, the man opened one eye and said, “Commot from here, if na. ........... http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=326 continue |
Jokes Etc / Hahahahaha Just Can't Stop Laughing by Kasieze(m): 7:20pm On Nov 05, 2014 |
4yr old girl walks-in while her father is dressing in the bedroom . She looks at his privates and points at his ?? and asks "Dad what's that thing between your legs?" Dad replies "I don't know". She goes to kitchen and finds her mom "Mom what is that long thing between dad's legs?" her mom instead of explaining things to her she replies "I don't know" A week later when her mom was coming from work the lil girl ran to her and says "Mom you refused to tell me the name of that thing between dad's legs. I have finally figured it out on my own IT'S A........................ http://www..com/ view_joke.php?id=308 |
Family / Re: Are You Sexually Compatible With Your Spouse? by Kasieze(m): 6:51pm On Nov 05, 2014 |
Akpos and his gang kidnapped some musicians on their way from airport to the downtown of warri in a bus.. But unfortunately akpos boss who 'll give them price tag was not around.. So akpos gave him a phone call.. And the following conversation took place:- Akpos: hello oga Oga: akpos how now? Akpos: we don catch a bus with full of nigerian musicians. But i no know how i go take price them. Oga: tell me their names and i go tell u the price. Akpos: okay eemm,, dbanj and 2face Oga: thirty million naira each.. last. Akpos: okay then naeto-c and banky- w Oga: twenty-twenty million naira last Akpos: okay then wizkid, davido, olamide and iceprince. Oga: twenty-twenty million naira Akpos: ehemm.. Then style plus. Oga: who be that? Akpos: the guys wey sing "four years don wakka....................... http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=307 1 Like |
Family / Re: Are You Sexually Compatible With Your Spouse? by Kasieze(m): 6:38pm On Nov 05, 2014 |
DAD: Akpos, if Mr John asks after me, tell him I'm not around. How will you tell him when he comes, cos i know you are funny? AKPOS: When he comes, I will say my daddy said I should tell you he is not around. DAD: Idiot! Just tell him, he is not around. Ok!? AKPOS: Yes daddy. [When Mr John arrived...] MR JOHN: Akpos, where is ur daddy? AKPOS: He is not around. MR JOHN: When is he coming back?................... http://www..com/ view_joke.php?id=306 |
Jokes Etc / Akpos The Naughty Boy by Kasieze(m): 6:37pm On Nov 05, 2014 |
DAD: Akpos, if Mr John asks after me, tell him I'm not around. How will you tell him when he comes, cos i know you are funny? AKPOS: When he comes, I will say my daddy said I should tell you he is not around. DAD: Idiot! Just tell him, he is not around. Ok!? AKPOS: Yes daddy. [When Mr John arrived...] MR JOHN: Akpos, where is ur daddy? AKPOS: He is not around. MR JOHN: When is he coming back?................... http://www..com/ view_joke.php?id=306 |
Jokes Etc / Akpos Caught Red Handed by Kasieze(m): 5:22pm On Nov 04, 2014 |
Akpos caught red handed Akpos, a married lawyer, had sex in his car and forgot the girl’s panty on the car seat. His wife found the panty in the back seat and tore it apart screaming “What is this”? “What is this”? Akpos calmly replied, ...................... http://www..com/ view_joke.php?id=299 |
NYSC / Re: NYSC 2014 Batch C House by Kasieze(m): 7:00am On Nov 04, 2014 |
if u where posted to Niger state and u want to redeploy to any other state of ur choice please call this number 08037573770 |
NYSC / NYSC Relocation by Kasieze(m): 6:56am On Nov 04, 2014 |
if u where posted to Niger state and u want to redeploy to any other state of ur choice please call this number 08037573770 |
Jokes Etc / Funny Akpos Tips. U Can't Miss It by Kasieze(m): 9:18pm On Nov 03, 2014 |
1) TEACHER: Akpos, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? AKPOS: A teacher! 2) TEACHER: How do we keep our school clean? AKPOS: By staying at home! 3) TEACHER: Draw a diagram of bacteria. [Few minutes later] Akpos: Here it is sir. TEACHER: Where? You haven’t drawn anything Akpos: Sir, can you................. http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=294 continue |
Religion / Re: Is Sexual Desire A Sin? by Kasieze(m): 9:13pm On Nov 03, 2014 |
1) TEACHER: Akpos, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? AKPOS: A teacher! 2) TEACHER: How do we keep our school clean? AKPOS: By staying at home! 3) TEACHER: Draw a diagram of bacteria. [Few minutes later] Akpos: Here it is sir. TEACHER: Where? You haven’t drawn anything Akpos: Sir, can you................. http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=294 continue |
Properties / Re: Dangote Cement Now 1000 Naira Per Bag (Plus VAT) by Kasieze(m): 9:06pm On Nov 03, 2014 |
1) TEACHER: Akpos, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? AKPOS: A teacher! 2) TEACHER: How do we keep our school clean? AKPOS: By staying at home! 3) TEACHER: Draw a diagram of bacteria. [Few minutes later] Akpos: Here it is sir. TEACHER: Where? You haven’t drawn anything Akpos: Sir, can you................. http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=294 continue |
Romance / Re: What Most Dudes Are Guilty Of.. Where Do you Belong ? by Kasieze(m): 1:19pm On Oct 30, 2014 |
A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull." The driver gets annoyed as the kid continues to yammer on, "If my dad was a rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick." The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?" The kid smiles and says.................. http://www..com/ view_joke.php?id=272 |
Jokes Etc / The Bus Driver by Kasieze(m): 1:10pm On Oct 30, 2014 |
A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull." The driver gets annoyed as the kid continues to yammer on, "If my dad was a rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick." The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?" The kid smiles and says.................. http://www..com/ view_joke.php?id=272 |
Jokes Etc / Teacher Testing Akpos IQ by Kasieze(m): 10:52am On Oct 27, 2014 |
Teacher wants to test Akpos IQ Teacher: Akpos what is a period? Akpos: I dnt knw the meaning sir, but I am very sure it is very dangerous Teacher: why Akpos? Akpos: Because when my sister sais that she didint see her period for 5 months, my mum......................... http:// www..com/view_joke.php?id=248 continue |
Celebrities / Re: Mercy Johnson-okojie Vs Tonto Dikeh: Who Is A Better Actress? by Kasieze(m): 10:03pm On Oct 26, 2014 |
Latest conversation between Ebola and HIV EBOLA: Hallo Hallo HIV: who be that na? EBOLA: Na your bros ebola dey talk o! HIV: hw far nah? Longest time. Where u dey? EBOLA: my man, naija people wicked o o o o!! HIV: how nah ? EBOLA: them don pursue me comot from naija. HIV: Hahahahaha!shebe I dey tell u make u calm down that time, u just dey do initial gra gra like say na only u waka come. EBOLA: chei! Na mistake............................ http:// www..com/view_joke.php?id=246 click to continue |
European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga) / Re: Manchester United Vs Chelsea (1 - 1) On 26th October 2014 by Kasieze(m): 9:59pm On Oct 26, 2014 |
Latest conversation between Ebola and HIV EBOLA: Hallo Hallo HIV: who be that na? EBOLA: Na your bros ebola dey talk o! HIV: hw far nah? Longest time. Where u dey? EBOLA: my man, naija people wicked o o o o!! HIV: how nah ? EBOLA: them don pursue me comot from naija. HIV: Hahahahaha!shebe I dey tell u make u calm down that time, u just dey do initial gra gra like say na only u waka come. EBOLA: chei! Na mistake............................ http:// www..com/view_joke.php?id=246 click to continue |
Jokes Etc / Latest Conversation Between Ebola And HIV by Kasieze(m): 9:55pm On Oct 26, 2014 |
EBOLA: Hallo Hallo HIV: who be that na? EBOLA: Na your bros ebola dey talk o! HIV: hw far nah? Longest time. Where u dey? EBOLA: my man, naija people wicked o o o o!! HIV: how nah ? EBOLA: them don pursue me comot from naija. HIV: Hahahahaha!shebe I dey tell u make u calm down that time, u just dey do initial gra gra like say na only u waka come. EBOLA: chei! Na mistake............................ http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=246 click to continue |
Romance / Re: A Guy I Like Seems To Be Ignoring Me. by Kasieze(m): 10:06pm On Oct 23, 2014 |
akpors n his gal GIRLFRIEND : (Low Voice) Sweety, last night I had a dream about you. AKPORS: (excited) Oooh, Tell me Something Honey. GIRLFRIEND: I dreamt we were on a bus when suddenly the bus lost control and fell in the river. Everyone swam to save their life, but you were still swimming and searching for someone. AKPORS: (with love): Oh, definitely, I was searching for You.. Right?" GIRLFRIEND: (Frowns) NO, You were shouting,............. http://www..com/m/view_joke.php?id=232 continue |
Jokes Etc / Akpors And His Girl by Kasieze(m): 9:53pm On Oct 23, 2014 |
GIRLFRIEND : (Low Voice) Sweety, last night I had a dream about you. AKPORS: (excited) Oooh, Tell me Something Honey. GIRLFRIEND: I dreamt we were on a bus when suddenly the bus lost control and fell in the river. Everyone swam to save their life, but you were still swimming and searching for someone. AKPORS: (with love): Oh, definitely, I was searching for You.. Right?" GIRLFRIEND: (Frowns) NO, You were shouting,............. http://www..com/m/view_joke.php?id=232 continue |
Celebrities / Re: Davido Shows-off His Beautiful Sisters On Instagram by Kasieze(m): 5:42pm On Oct 21, 2014 |
Akpos was coming back from school singing out loud and dancing like nobody's tuckshop...his parents was wondering why Akpo was so happy..and decide to ask him.. PARENTS : my son i have never seen you in this mood for while....Any good news to share..? AKPOS : mom and dad next year you wont be...................... http://www..com/m/view_joke.php?id=212 |
Jokes Etc / Funny Akpos by Kasieze(m): 5:33pm On Oct 21, 2014 |
Akpos was coming back from school singing out loud and dancing like nobody's tuckshop...his parents was wondering why Akpo was so happy..and decide to ask him.. PARENTS : my son i have never seen you in this mood for while....Any good news to share..? AKPOS : mom and dad next year you wont be...................... http://www..com/m/view_joke.php?id=212 |
Health / Re: W.H.O Has Officially Declared Nigeria Ebola Free by Kasieze(m): 3:12pm On Oct 20, 2014 |
A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her. The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed. The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised. That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn't sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble. Moral of the story..................... http://www..com/m/view_joke.php?id=203 click to continue |
Jokes Etc / See Marriage Prayer by Kasieze(m): 2:58pm On Oct 20, 2014 |
One church for naija dey do singles convention. Di pastor raise prayer point sey all di singles should pray for dia hearts desires. Na im wan sista begin pray “oh lord, I no wan marry short man, Holy Ghost , I no wan marry short man, Angel Gabriel if you take eye see short man wey dey come my side use holy ghost fire bind am” E come be say one short man dey beside di sista dey pray im own sey ” oh lord, you know sey I be short man but I be billionaire”. Immediately di sista hear the word ‘billionair’ prayer com change. She begin pray say “oh lord!...................http://www..com/m/view_joke.php?id=202 click to continue |
Jokes Etc / Akpors Good Samaritan by Kasieze(m): 8:50am On Oct 16, 2014 |
AKPORS GOOD SAMARITAN Mary lost her BB Z10.... She decided to call the number to see if the thief would be nice enough to pick the call.... She dialled the number and a deep voice answered d phone AKPORS: Hello,...who is dis.... MARY: its me, the owner of the phone u are using. AKPORS: oh, thank God! i have been looking for you since MARY: Really? Lookin for me? you want to return the phone?... thank u! AKPORS: hell no, i want to..................... http://.com/m/view_joke.php?id=181 continue |
Sports / Re: NFF Sack Keshi, Pick Amodu As Replacement by Kasieze(m): 8:36am On Oct 16, 2014 |
Sleeping dude A guy slept very hungry and saw bread in his dream, he took it and started eating it in his dream. After he finished eating it, he saw a coconut and decided to eat it too but he didn't see a knife to cut it. So he decided to use his teeth only to receive a................> http://.com/m/view_joke.php?id=185 continue |
Jokes Etc / The Worst Application Letter by Kasieze(m): 8:33am On Oct 16, 2014 |
THE WORST APPLICATION LETTER Dear Sir, APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT I refer to the recent death of the accountant at your office and hereby apply for the job as a replacement of the dead accountant. Each time I apply for employment, I get a reply that there is no vacancy but in this case, I have caught you red handed and you have no excuse because while I was in my hometown for holidays I heard the good news about his death so i quickly.................. > http://.com/m/view_joke.php?id=183 continue |
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